Category: Men of Steel

A Shortage of Men in the Church

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On Saturday February 26, the Men of Steel had a Men’s Breakfast and I handed out this information, (I will post the talk by our guest speaker at another time).

Men are absent from the church. The church may be led by men (for the most part), but the influence of women has kept most men in society out of the church. I’m reading a book by David Murrow that attempts to address the topic, “Why men hate going to church” (I’ll post a few of these insights at a later time, too). For now, let’s agree that there is a gender gap in the church, and here are the facts:

  • The typical U.S. Congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61% female, 39% male. This gender gap shows up in all age categories. [1]
  • On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches. [2]
  • This Sunday almost 25 percent of married, churchgoing women will worship without their husbands. [3]
  • Midweek activities often draw 70 to 80 percent female participants. [4]
  • The majority of church employees are women (except for ordained clergy, who are overwhelmingly male). [5]
  • Over 70 percent of the boys who are being raised in church will abandon it during their teens and twenties. Many of these boys will never return. [6]
  • More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only one out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church. [7]
  • Churches overseas report gender gaps of up to nine women for every adult man in attendance. [8]
  • Christian universities are becoming convents. The typical Christian college in the U.S. enrolls almost 2 women for every one man. [9]
  • Fewer than 10% of U.S. churches are able to establish or maintain a vibrant men’s ministry. [10]

Church is good for men:

  • Churchgoers are more likely to be married and express a higher level of satisfaction with life. Church involvement is the most important predictor of marital stability and happiness. [11]
  • Church involvement moves people out of poverty. Its also correlated with less depression, more self-esteem and greater family and marital happiness. [12]
  • Religious participation leads men to become more engaged husbands and fathers. [13]
  • Teens with religious fathers are more likely to say they enjoy spending time with dad and that they admire him. [14]

And men are good for the church:

  • A study from Hartford Seminary found that the presence of involved men was statistically correlated with church growth, health, and harmony. Meanwhile, a lack of male participation is strongly associated with congregational decline. [15]

 

FOOTNOTES:

[1] “U.S. Congregational Life Survey – Key Findings,” 29 October 2003, [ Go ]

[2] This statistic comes from Barna’s figures on male/female worship attendance, overlayed upon the Census 2000 numbers for adult men and women in the U.S. population.

[3] This figure takes the U.S. Census 2000 numbers for total married adults and overlaying Barna Research’s year 2000 percentages of male vs. female attendance at weekly worship services. The figures suggest at least 24.5 million married women attend church on a given weekend, but only 19 million married men attend. That’s 5.5 million more women, or 22.5%. The actual number may be even higher, because married people attend church in much greater numbers than singles.

[4] Barna Research Online, “Women are the Backbone of Christian Congregations in America,” 6 March 2000. [ Go ]

[5] Ibid.

[6] “LifeWay Research Uncovers Reasons 18 to 22 Year Olds Drop Out of Church,” PowerPoint presentation accompanying study, available at LifeWay.com.

[7] Barna, “Women are the Backbone of Christian Congregations in America.”

[8] My source gets an e-mail message about once a month from a pastor overseas whose congregation is almost totally female.

[9] Camerin Courtney, “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” Christianity Today, Single Minded. [ Go ]

[10] Based on a show of hands at the National Coalition of Men’s Ministries meeting in 2005. The consensus in the room among hundreds of men’s ministry experts was that less than 10% of congregations had any ongoing ministry to men. Compare this to the 110% of churches that offer women’s and children’s ministries.

[11, 12] “Why Religion Matters: The Impact of Religious Practice on Social Stability,” The Heritage Foundation Backgrounder, 1064, 25 January 1996. [ Go ]

[13] Penny Edgell (Becker) and Heather Hofmeister, “Work, Family and Religious Involvement for Men and Women,” Hartford Institute for Religion Research, [ Go ]

[14] Christian Smith and Phillip Kim, “Religious Youth Are More Likely to Have Positive Relationships with Their Fathers,” University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 12 July 2002, findings based on the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (1997).

[15] C. Kirk Hadaway, FACTs on Growth: A new look at the dynamics of growth and decline in American congregations based on the Faith Communities Today 2005 national survey of Congregations. Hartford Institute for Religion Research, [ Go ]

Promotion for a Men’s Conference

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I saw this video online and laughed out loud. I am a fan of ministry for and to men; there is such a great need to develop men to strengthen marriages and families. Check out the Men of Steel page above (that does not mean “abs of steel” like you see on the video). I would love to find creative people who can come up with promotion ideas like this. btw, God, that is a request to bring people to King’s Grant.

People’s Hearts are Calloused

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Believe it or not, this is the last post on the life of Paul (at lease for this series in the book of Acts). Paul entered Rome and was allowed to stay by himself (Acts 28:16). It’s been a wild ride, from his family upbringing, to the Damascus Road experience, to a dungeon at midnight experiencing authentic worship, to the shipwreck and the miracles at Malta. I’m impressed with Paul, and how God used Paul’s passion and determination. This chapter in Acts provides a fitting conclusion for the book (Acts 28:16, 23, 30-31), but there are about six more years in his life, recorded in writing preserved by the Holy Spirit.

Paul is like that inflatable clown punching bag; like when you were a kid, you punch it and the weighted sand base brings it right back up. Paul came back for more. Nothing could defeat him. His passion for Christ kept him going.

The Jews came together once they knew Paul had arrived (Acts 28:17). He again tried to convince them in the Scripture that Jesus was the unmistakable Promised One. Once Paul realized that they were intentionally closing their hearts and minds to the truth, he responded with a word from Isaiah.

And he said, “Yes, go, and say to this people,
When you hear what I say, you will not understand.
When you see what I do, you will not comprehend.
For the hearts of these people are hardened,
and their ears cannot hear,
and they have closed their eyes—so their eyes cannot see,
and their ears cannot hear,
and their hearts cannot understand,
and they cannot turn to me
and let me heal them.” (Acts 28:27-27, Isaiah 6:9-10)

Don’t miss one of the most tragic elements of the Jew’s rejection: Paul was not trying to take anything away from them, God had something more to give them. Paul was not asking them not to be Jews, he just wanted them to receive their promised Messiah. In their religious system, Jesus did not fit their expectation.

How often do we cheat ourselves when we have as much as we want from God? We may have our salvation, but don’t expect me to become a fanatic about this Jesus stuff, or get involved in the church. Remember the words of Felix, “That’s enough” (Acts 24:25). God’s gift of salvation is complete and we can receive it on a daily basis:

  1. A greater filling of the Holy Spirit (Acts 4:31).
  2. A deeper wisdom (1 Corinthians 12:8).
  3. A more obvious experience of God’s activity (John 14:21).
  4. More effectiveness in service (Psalm 127:1).
  5. Character conforming to Christ (Romans 8:29).
  6. A more intimate relationship with Christ (Philippians 3:10).

Whatever the reason for our resistance, we may be just like these Jews in Paul’s day. We must be aware of the outcome when our spiritual ears don’t hear, our spiritual eyes don’t see, and our spiritual hearts become calloused.  How often are we like this:

  1. Ever hearing but never understanding (Acts 28:26): he used the word never hearing which indicates a crippling activity that will not change. The word for understanding is suneimi, meaning assembling facts into a whole, a puzzle coming together. It’s like the mind grasping ideas and see the proper relationship between them. When we continue to resist what God has for us, we may cripple our ability to understand how it all fits together. Life is so much more difficult when we do not understand. Ignorance is not really bliss.
  2. Ever seeing but never perceiving (Acts 28:26): the word for perceiving is eido, which is not actually the ability to see, but the ability to know. People who don’t see with spiritual eyes cannot comprehend how others claim to see God at work (1 Corinthians 2:14). How often to people hear a testimony of God working in their lives and unbelievers are quick to write it off as a coincidence.
  3. Developing calloused hearts (Acts 28:27): the word calloused is translated from pachuno, which really means, “to make fat.” People who continually resist God will develop fat around the heart. The heart needs exercise to be healthy. The Jews ceased to exercise their hearts, and they became calloused.

Application: God has so much to give us, and how often do we tell him, “thanks, but I have enough already?” The old saying is really true, we don’t know what we’re missing. People on the outside honestly believe that they have a good relationship with God, but they have settled for so much less than God has for them. God has a plan for keep our hearts tender toward him (2 Thessalonians 3:5, 1 Timothy 1:5). Soften your heart and allow God to make you into something fantastic.

The Bible Regarding the Hearts of the People:

  1. Callousness: Isaiah 6:10, Matthew 13:15, Acts 28:27
  2. Hardening: Exodus 7:13, 22, 8:15, 19, 32, 9:34, Deuteronomy 15:7, Psalm 95:8, Proverbs 28:14, Mark 6:51-52, John 12:40, Hebrews 3:8, 15, 4:7.
  3. Going Astray: Hebrews 3:10, 12, 15, 4:12, 10:16, 13:9, James 4:8, 5:8.
  4. Unbelief: Matthew 13:58, 17:17, Mark 6:6, 9:19, 9:24, Luke 9:41, John 20:27, 1 John 3:19-20.

Authentic Christian Community

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The final chapter in the book of Acts brings Paul to Rome (Acts 28:14), it was probably the early spring of AD 61. Some brethren heard they were coming (Acts 28:15) and they came to visit Paul from as far away as the Market of Appius (43 miles away) and the Three Inns (or Taverns – 33 miles away). Paul had planned for some time to make it to Rome but with all that had happened to him along the way, he had been prevented (Romans 1:13). It is important to note that these were not old friends of Paul, but just fellow believers in Christ.

Rome was like nothing he had experienced before, likely a million citizens in his day; and the same number of slaves. As he approached the city, he may have been overwhelmed by the vast number of people. I remember the first Memorial Day weekend I spent living at the oceanfront. The beach was literally blanket to blanket with tourists and locals. My heart was overwhelmed at the vast numbers of people, most of whom probably had no relationship with Jesus. I was reminded of Jesus’ words as he looked over Jerusalem (Matthew 23:37).

Paul had experience authentic Christian community, sort of a brotherhood. It is not masculine terminology as we use it today, but for those who shared koinonia, true community and the sharing a common life. How important are the brethren to Paul?

The Bible refers to a natural sibling of Paul only once (Acts 23:16) and a few other relatives (Romans 16:7, 11-12) yet there are at least 99 times in his letters that he refers to fellow believers as brothers. He uses the Greek word, adelphos. It came to designate a fellowship of care equivalent to a community of life.

Paul’s need is not unique. People are desperate for a sense of community, a place where “everybody knows your name.” We want to feel like we belong there. As Skip preached this past Sunday, the community of faith is so important in one’s spiritual life; we can’t do it alone (see the video below). Many people may believe in Christ as Savior but never get involved in a community of faith. What’s up with that? As Paul writes to the Romans, there are three things worth noting about Christian fellowship or community: constant prayer, Paul’s sense of obligation to other believers, and his strong commitment to equality.

  1. Paul believed in the power of prayer (Romans 1:9-10): remembering them in his prayers at all times. In many other letters we read the same things. Paul sought their best and asked God for big things, probably because Paul knew God had big things to give.
  2. Paul believed that part of his calling was to share his gifts and faith with other Christians (Romans 1:11-12): He was looking out for others. The church is a unit, a body, made up of many parts (1 Corinthians 12:12), so it is important to recognize how we are connected, and we need each other.
  3. Paul had a desire for all people to come to faith in Christ (Romans 1:14, 15, 16): no matter their background. Sometimes we struggle with equity, because prejudice (by race, gender, status) is an ugly snake that rises within a community. We tend to be selective on who we allow close to us.

Application: How are you when it comes to prayer? Do you regularly pray throughout the day? For decisions? For your witness to others? For integrity? For your marriage? How about praying WITH your wife? Do you intercede for lost people around you? For your children? For your neighbors? Prayer strengthens relationship.

When it comes to being a part of the community of faith, do you tend to ride like the Lone Ranger? Are you more like Superman or Batman? The difference you may ask? Superman is always alone, there was none like him, he had no superhero partner. Batman had a buddy, a partner in fighting crime. What part of the body of Christ are you? How are you serving God and others? What are your gifts and talents that can be used for the kingdom of God? Do you have a sense of obligation when it comes to other people and their spiritual growth?

When it comes to equity, are there hidden prejudices about which you are ashamed? Do you look at race, gender or economic status before you open yourself to people? Do you really believe that people without Christ are lost and in need of a Savior? Seek forgiveness for past attitudes and open yourself to the authentic community that comes from the brothers and sisters in Christ.

Being a part of a Christian community helps us to grow into the people of God he desires for us to become. The believers from the Market at Appius and the Three Inns may not have known Paul personally, but they had a common bound and offered encouragement to a man on a mission. He was encouraged by strangers that were a part of the community of faith. Their faces were unfamiliar but each one had been washed in the blood of Christ.

An Island in the Storm

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The shipwreck story in the life of Paul lands him and the crew on the island of Malta (Acts 28:1).  The men made their way from sinking ship to safety on shore, and perhaps they wondered what they would find. Remember Gilligan’s Island? They encountered head hunters from time to time! But Paul and his buds encountered six discoveries:

  1. Unusual Kindness (Acts 28:2): there could have been unhappy natives, head-hunters or cannibals, instead, God prepared a safe haven for them. Luke tells us they were unusually kind. When was the last time that you were shipwrecked in a storm and found unusual kindness?
  2. Warmth (Acts 28:2): the water was cold and a fire was kindled. The fact is that we cannot really experience and appreciate warmth until we have experience the cold. What I like is that God was meeting their physical needs first. Another fact I like is that Paul gathered a pile of wood. A man who deserved a break after all his hardship was exercising his servant’s heart. This wood gathering brought his third discovery.
  3. Snakes (Acts 28:3): a viper is quite a poisonous snake; generally take three steps and fall down. It sort of looked like one of the sticks, and as Paul placed the pile on the fire, the snake grabbed at his only way out of the fire, Paul’s hand. Read 2 Corinthians 11:24, 25, and Paul might have thought, “and now this.” But God used this creature to reveal the beliefs of the islanders.
  4. Limited Knowledge (Acts 28:4): Paul must have been a murderer and God was not allowing him to live. While their assumption was not correct, they revealed a limited knowledge of the true God. The NIV capitalizes the word, Justice, meaning it is a proper noun. They must have believed in a judge who executes justice. Even though they were unevangelized, they had an awareness of a divine judge. God makes himself known in the most remote parts of the planet and men are without excuse (Romans 1:20). But God does not just want people to be without excuse, he doesn’t want them to be without a Savior.
  5. Spiritual Need (Acts 28:5, 6): they believed in justice and equity but their knowledge was incomplete. Paul shook of the snake and they waited for Paul to drop dead. When he didn’t, they thought he was a god. While they believed in a divine judge, they also believed in other gods. God is light who doesn’t want us to walk in darkness.
  6. Physical Need (Acts 28:8, 9-10): Paul was able to heal their sick.
    1. He prayed for the chief’s father; praying to God redirected their attention from Paul’s “divinity” to the real God, Jesus Christ.
    2. The means of the healing: it was through Paul, not the physician Luke. I think that’s too cool. Our Father wanted the people to recognize God for the miracle, not some well educated professional doctor. There was no room for doubt here.
    3. God was also up to a wholesale healing (Acts 28:9). While God’s servants seem to heal many individuals, seldom in Scripture do we read about a servant bringing healing to entire land. Their attention was drawn to the only one who could bring spiritual healing as well.
    4. Then they supplied Paul and the rest with physical supplies (Acts 28:10).

Application: it is essential that whatever we do, that God is the one who gets the glory for it. If we lead someone to the Lord, it’s all about God. When he works through you, it’s all about God. When you exercise a spiritual gift, it’s all about God. The group was able to spend three months on the island (Acts 28:11), so these people may have heard more preaching of the gospel in three months than most people hear in a lifetime. When Paul told the crew they must run aground on some island (Acts 27:26), little did they know it would be Malta where God had so much cool stuff planned for them.

For you, which discovery above is the most pressing on you right now? How you ever found unusual kindness in the midst of a storm? Or discovering warmth after a cold or chilling experience? What about the snakes in your life that are biting and just might be the death of you? How are you combating your limited spiritual knowledge and growing in the Lord? Do you recognize your spiritual need and have the courage to seek out help to meet that need in Christ? What area of physical need do you have or area in which you need healing?

An Umbrella in the Storm

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Paul is still in the midst of a storm, clinging to life and encouraging those around him to have faith. God spoke to Paul and told him that he would testify of God’s grace before the Roman Emperor (Acts 27:24). Paul did not have an easy life after he become a follower of Jesus. The Bible mentions he was shipwrecked three times (2 Corinthians 11:25), but this on in Acts 27 is the only one we get any details.

While one man’s foolishness (Acts 27:1, 10, 11) put everyone’s lives in peril, the faithfulness of one man will keep the people alive (Acts 27:24, 25-26). Think of the umbrella effect; when one person holds the umbrella, several others are effected when they are near. One holds the umbrella while others are touched by its influence. Paul had an umbrella of protection because of his obedience in ministry.

There is another umbrella during a storm, a familiar character from the Old Testament, Jonah. You might recall how God called him to speak to the people of Nineveh, but he tucked tail and fled in the other direction. He booked passage on a ship that ran into a different storm. Consider Paul and Jonah:

  1. Both were men.
  2. Both were Hebrew.
  3. Both were preachers.
  4. Both were called to preach unpopular messages in powerful pagan cities.
  5. Both boarded a ship.
  6. Both experience a terrible life-threatening storm.
  7. Both men impacted the rest of the crew.
  8. Both men knew the key to the crew’s survival.

Now we need to see the contrast between these two men:

  1. Paul was compelled by his calling to go to Rome; Jonah was repelled by his calling to Nineveh.
  2. Paul faced obstacles on his way to Rome: prison, beatings, bad weather; while Jonah’s only obstacle was himself.
  3. Paul had to sit and wait for the Lord; Jonah stood and ran from the Lord.
  4. Paul felt the burden of responsibility for the crew (while the storm was not Paul’s fault); Jonah slept while the crew worked hard to survive the hardship that Jonah brought.
  5. Although both men were afraid and probably felt hopeless, Paul received a message form God. Jonah proved to be a coward. Why? Because he said that they needed to pick him up and throw him in the sea (Jonah 1:12). He never offered to jump in by himself. Sadly the pagan crew showed more godly character than God’s prophet (Jonah 1:13) because they still tried to save him and row back to land.

I believe that we all can relate to both men. Sometimes we respond in obedience like Paul; other times we tuck tail and run. The call of Jesus is to obey his commands (John 15:10-11). Notice that Jonah got a second change (Jonah 3:1-2) and although Jonah was ultimately obedient and surprisingly successful (Jonah 3:5), we don’t really see any hint of joy in his life. Paul seemed to suffer at every turn and he had more to say about joy than any other messenger of God.

Application: Under Jonah’s umbrella in the storm many people experienced calamity and hardship. Under Paul’s umbrella man found safety. So, is your sky rumbling? Are dark clouds gathering? Is there a storm on the horizon? If you are a child of God, you are called to hold the umbrella for those around you… your family, wife, kids, co-workers, neighbors. Are you listening to the commands of Christ and seeking ways to be obedient, or are you seeking ways to run? God has given the lives of those around you (Acts 27:24), how will you respond?

The Christian Life is to be Shared

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I love the stories found in the book of Nehemiah. He was a brilliant example of leadership, devotion, prayer and faith. In the midst of difficult times he was able to motivate people in the direction that led to peace, strength and security. After inspecting the situation and seeing the city of Jerusalem in ruins, Nehemiah addressed the people:

But now I said to them, “You know very well what trouble we are in. Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire. Let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem and end this disgrace!” (Nehemiah 2:17)

Did you notice the words we and us in this verse? In order to motivate the people of Jerusalem to rebuild the wall, Nehemiah had to personally identify with their problem, their need, and their future. It was no longer their problem;  Nehemiah saw the broken wall as our problem. Imagine the kind of response Nehemiah would have received if he had said, “You folks have gotten yourselves into a bad mess. You know what you need to do? You need to rebuild that wall. If you need me, I’ll be in my office. After all, I wasn’t part of the problem. You people will have to get busy and do the work. Let me know how it turns out.”

Identifying with the problem encourages motivation.

When Lee Iacocca became chairman and CEO of Chrysler at the height of the auto giant’s problems in 1979, he knew he would have to ask employees to take a pay cut to keep the company out of bankruptcy. Although he persuaded Congress to guarantee the company loans, he was still deeply distrusted by Chrysler’s union members. He knew that he had to find a way to persuade these workers that he had Chrysler’s best interests at heart.

Iacocca called a meeting of key management and union executives. He announced that for the next year his salary would be $1. The plan worked. By sacrificing his own salary, Iacocca proved that he placed the welfare of the company over personal gain. He identified with the workers. He was saying, “We are in this together, and together we can make it through.” He knew that people will accept a lot of pain when everybody is going through the trial together. If the followers know that the leader is in with them, together they can move a mountain or, in Nehemiah’s case, rebuild a wall.

So Nehemiah did it right. Did you know the meaning of his name? Nehemiah means, “Yah (or God) comforts or encourages.” I see that the best leaders are not the ones who tell others what they need to do for the leader, but are able to inspire others to get done what is best for the people.

Not everyone was happy. Trouble arose from without and from within. Sanballat and his friends tried to stop the work, but without success (Nehemiah 4:1, 2, 7, 8, 16, 17, 20). Trouble from within was economic. Building the walls caused a labor shortage; farms were mortgaged, and high rates of interest were charged (Nehemiah 5:2, 3, 4, 5). Nehemiah said, “The thing you are doing is not good” (Nehemiah 5:9). He corrected the problem and even gave financial aid to those in need (Nehemiah 5:10, 11, 12, 1518, 19). Again Sanballat and other non-Jews made several attempts to lure Nehemiah away from the job and shut it down, but they failed (Nehemiah 6:2, 5, 6, 8, 10, 14). Nehemiah proved to be a person of strong will and unusual boldness. “So the wall was finished… in fifty and two days” (Nehemiah 6:15).

Application: In what ways can you identify with the people you lead? How can you say to them, “We are in this together?” Have you come to terms that not everyone will be happy and excited about your leadership? But notice that Nehemiah remained connected to God in the midst of trouble (Nehemiah 1:5-7, 8-11, 2:4, 4:4-5, 9, 15, 6:9, 12). He was a man of prayer and faith. The Christian life is to be shared, all of us are in this together. Leaders and followers are in this together. That is what the Bible calls koinonia, which is fellowship, or sharing a common life.

I like the model of leadership that Ken Blanchard has promoted all over the country, the Lead Like Jesus model, he says, “Great leaders lead like Jesus.” The essence of this style of leadership is servanthood; we are to be servant-leaders. I will be leading a small group on this in the spring of 2011.

Leadership is an influence process – any time you influence the thinking, behavior or development of another person, you are demonstrating leadership behavior. So if you are a parent, CEO, pastor, Sunday School leader, electrician, accountant, then you are a leader and following the greatest leadership role model only makes sense. We should desire to be a Jesus-like leader, where God is glorified, people are served, and organizations are more effective in impacting the world for the Kingdom of God.

Commercial: Over the next eight weeks, Skip and I will facilitate a John Maxwell video series called, “Developing the Leader Within You.” It is designed for all of us to become the leader that God intends for his children. We all have influence over others at some point throughout the day, let’s become the best leaders we can be. Click Here to get more information.

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Reflecting on Valentine’s Day

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Today is Valentine’s Day. A young lady asked me at church yesterday if Valentine’s Day is for girls or for guys. I said I thought that it was for girls because they need to hear how much they are loved by the ones who love them. Men are rocks and don’t need to be on the receiving end of flowers, chocolates, cards and hearts. My wife and daughter are the treasured women in my life, so my goal is to let them know how much they are loved. But men also need to hear how much they are loved, in spite of their faults, failures and denials. I am reminded of the words of Jesus in Luke 6:27-36 regarding that we are to love our enemies. Here is the key portion of Scripture for me:

“If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them!” (Luke 6:32)

Valentine’s Day is a day set apart for celebrations of romantic love, but let me offer my thoughts on this passage that focuses on love.

The origins of this holiday are somewhat unsure. Several men named “Valentine” (Valentinus) were recognized as martyred saints by the church. One of these was buried near Rome on February 14. Medieval tradition held that this particular Valentine, a priest, was marrying Christian couples in a time when the Roman emperor prohibited young men from marrying. For this crime, he was arrested and killed by the Roman government. In recent times, an addition to this story claims that Valentine, before his death, sent a love note to a young girl whom he loved, signing it, “From your Valentine.”

Unfortunately, there is little reason to believe that any of the historical saints named Valentine actually did any of these actions that might be associated with romantic love. Apparently, the connection between St. Valentine and romance was popularized by Geoffrey Chaucer, the 14th-century English writer and poet. Later writers on the saints embellished Chaucer’s story, leaving us with the Christian saint who honored marriage and sent the first Valentine’s Day card.

I grew up hearing very little about St. Valentine. February 14 was simply a day when we did special things to express affection for our friends and family members. The “big event” happened at school, when we would exchange valentines with our classmates. As soon as I got home after school, I’d dump out my pile of valentines to see if any of them included special notes from any of the girls in my class or perhaps finding those little candy hearts.

At this point, you may be wondering what any of this has to do with Jesus’ call to love. Our Valentine’s Day traditions seem to be completely disconnected from what we read in Luke 6:32: “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them.”

Yet, in a way, my childhood Valentine’s Day practice did express love like that of Jesus. I did not give valentines only to my friends or to the girls I hoped would like me in return. My fellow students and I were expected to give valentines to every person in the class, including those whom we didn’t care for, those whom we judged to be “weird,” and those we might have considered to be our “enemies” on the playground. We even gave cards to the kids who did not participate. Ironically, our valentine exchange was more a reflection of the kind of love Jesus commends in Luke 6 than it was a celebration of exclusive, romantic love.

I think it’s fine to be reminded to express love to those who are most special to us. If Valentine’s Day encourages spouses to say “I love you” to each other and friends to celebrate their friendship, that’s great. Certainly the world would be a better place if people expressed their love more often. But Jesus encourages us to love, not just those who love us back, but also those who do not love us at all. We all have people in our lives, at work, in the store, perhaps even in our families or our church. Our calling, as followers of Jesus, is to love them and do good to them, not in order that they might respond, but so that we might live each day in obedience to our Savior who loves us.

God help us to express our love for those who are closest to us, but, even more pray that God help us to love others as he has loved us.

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Is Your Life in Balance?

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I read a book by a physician named Richard Swenson, The Overload Syndrome: Learning to Live Within Your Limits. Years ago I actually was able to be a part of a corporate retreat where Dr. Sewnsen was the speaker, talking about Margin in life. Perhaps you’re tired of running around wondering about what ever happened to your “spare time?” Do you dread going to work? Are your relationships strained from stress? Do you wish you could check into a hospital just to get some sleep?

Busyness. Stress. Overload. We all know the struggle of trying to handle the load of life in the American context. You don’t have enough time to do the things you have to, let alone those things you’d like to do. You feel tired, worn out, and burned out. These symptoms are signs that you’re suffering from a disease that affects millions of people, he calls it, The Overload Syndrome.

What can be done? A few of Swenson’s suggestions include:

  1. Make solitude a priority for resting and thinking.
  2. Deal correctly with possessions so they do not possess you.
  3. Combat media overload.
  4. Deal with information overload.
  5. Make wise choices.
  6. Lower expectations.
  7. Slow down and enjoy life.

I see much of our problem as being out of balance. Notice in this verse how Jesus grew in several ways:

Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and all the people. (Luke 2:52)

A balanced life is characterized by order, peace, and wholeness. The parts of our life are as they should be and where they should be. Each part of the balanced life gets the right amount of time and effort at the right time. It’s not giving each part of life the same amount of time that makes life balanced; it’s giving each part the necessary amount of time.

The life of Jesus is a great example concerning balance. Throughout his life, Jesus was under constant pressure. Friends and enemies pursued him, yet when examining his life as recorded in the Bible, we see that he never hurried, that he never had to play catch up, and that he was never taken by surprise. He managed time well, bringing it under control, because he knew the importance of balance. Jesus’ life was well rounded. According to the Luke passage, he grew intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially.

  1. Does your life reflect balance?
  2. Do you make time for intellectual growth? If you are too busy to read a book or engage in study that stimulates your mind, you are too busy.
  3. Do you make time for physical health? Many people burn out because of improper personal maintenance. Don’t be another fatality on the emotional highway. Take care of your physical self.
  4. Do you make time for your relationship with God? You always spend time with the ones you love. 
  5. Do you feel too busy for prayer, Bible study, meditation, or personal devotion? Psalm 46:10 can be translated, “Take time and know that I am God.” The question is, “Will we do it?”
  6. Do you make time for primary relationships? Is adequate time provided for your spouse, family, and friends?

Only you can answer those questions honestly, and only you can take the necessary steps to bring order, harmony, and balance back in your life. Why not start today?

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