Author: Scott Chafee

Scott serves on staff at King’s Grant Baptist Church in Virginia Beach.

Paul Had a Clear Conscience

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Gazing intently at the high council, Paul began: “Brothers, I have always lived before God with a clear conscience!” (Acts 23:1). It is this chapter that we see that Paul could stand toe to toe with the religious heavyweights and hold his own. He had a clear conscience, unlike the Jews who were guilty of false testimony, beatings and plots to kill.

Ananias, the high priest, struck Paul in the mouth (Acts 23:2). I guess he was insulted that Paul referred to the council as brothers, or that the leaders could not stand with a clear conscience. Paul fires back, “God will strike you, you hypocrites” (Acts 23:3). How dare he speak to the High Priest that way (Acts 23:4). Don’t miss Paul’s response, “I did not know he was the High Priest” (Acts 23:5). Could it be sarcasm? He wasn’t acting like the High Priest. Paul knows that Jesus is the authentic High Priest (Hebrews 4:14, 6:20). I think Paul was insulting Ananias.

Paul goes on to summarize the reason he is before them that day, because he has a hope in the resurrection from the dead (Acts 23:6), which then proceeded to divide the audience. Sadducees did not believe in the resurrection while the Pharisees did (Acts 23:7). There was a terrible argument and the commander thought they would tear Paul apart (Acts 23:10). It’s funny that the Pharisees are now on Paul’s side (Acts 23:9). Let’s get back to having a clear conscience.

People without a spotless past may still enjoy a clear conscience: Paul had wronged many people but his conscience was clear because of the forgiveness Jesus offers.

Good deeds cannot provide a clear conscience: It’s hard to worship freely when we don’t have a clear conscience. Two things that will never clear a conscience are gifts and sacrifices (Hebrews 9:9).

The Holy Spirit works with the believer’s conscience: The Holy Spirit confirms our conscience (Romans 9:1). While we might want to ignore our sin, the one thing that does not ignore sin is our conscience. If ignored, conviction will grow.

The conscience is an indicator, not a transformer: The Spirit alone can change us. By itself the conscience can do nothing but condemn. Through the Spirit we are actually able to recognize and do the right thing. Asking God for forgiveness does not always make us feel better, because we feel a load of guilt. The key is to draw near to God.

Application: Although you don’t have a spotless past, aim for the future with confidence, and the mind of Christ can keep your past straight. The writer of Hebrews 10:22 tells us, “Let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.” Allow God to use your past for His glory, that you are a changed person, a new creation with a new purpose in life. When we fail, confess our sin, forsake the old ways, and renew our fellowship with God (1 John 1:9).

How Paul Shared His Faith

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There is a debate about what people call success. In the church, we often look at success as bigger and better; the numbers will determine how successful we are. After reading a book called, Liberating Your Ministry from Success Syndrome, I tend to see success as faithfulness in following God’s call on your life. Paul wanted to bear fruit in Jerusalem more than any place else on earth, but he found greater opposition and struggle than anywhere else on his journeys.

At first the commander thought Paul was a terrorist from Egypt (Acts 21:38), but he was actually an ambassador of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:19, 20). These people beat Paul with their fists (Acts 21:32) and all he wanted was to share his testimony (Acts 21:39). Acts 22 has a great model for sharing our faith in Christ.

Paul communicated simply and clearly: He spoke to the commander in Greek (Acts 21:37) and to the Jews he spoke Aramaic (Hebrew dialect, Acts 21:40, 22:2). Few of us are fluent in more than one language, but here Paul demonstrates his ability to communicate in at least two languages. As a Roman citizen, I can imagine he spoke Latin as well. As Christians, we often have our own language (church-speak) that people on the outside just don’t understand: salvation, regeneration, justification, born again, conversion, burden, atonement, walk the aisle, prayed the prayer, was baptized, body of Christ… you get it… but many people don’t.

Paul honestly described his former conduct (Acts 22:3-5): We lose our listeners when they sense an attitude of superiority in us. We must be careful not to magnify the former life with details, so generalizations are best. Let’s have people focus on the Savior rather than the behavior.

Paul related his experience of conversion (Acts 22:6-11): This is where we tell others how we actually came to know Christ. It need not be dramatic because the same blood rescues each of us. Like the Prodigal Son, who was involved in wild living (Luke 15:29-30), the faithful son needed salvation just as much.

Paul shared how he received his commission: He was clear about the purpose God had for him (Acts 22:12-21). Lots of people will not come to Christ believing their is too much to give up, but I submit to you that we need to tell people all that we have gained.

Once Paul mentioned he was appointed to reach the Gentiles, he lost his audience (Acts 22:22). Was he a failure because they rejected him? Was his testimony shared in vain? He did not plant a church, start a small group, or even leave behind any discipling relationships, but they heard his message (otherwise they would not have responded to violently). There is freedom in following Christ. We are to be faithful in our serving and testimony, but must always leave the results up to the Holy Spirit. We are not called to be the Holy Spirit in someone else’s life. The Spirit convicts of sin.

Application: If you are a child of God, you have a story worth telling. Are you exercising your witness? Have you practiced sharing your faith with a brother in Christ? It is only after you practice in private that sharing in public with a lost person becomes easier and more natural. Consider writing out your testimony using these steps:

My life before I met Christ:

 

How I came to know Christ:

 

The difference Christ has made in my life:

 

Planning, preparation, practice and presentation lead to the progress of the gospel. We are called to be His witnesses (Acts 1:8) and be ready at all times to give an account of the hope we have inside us (1 Peter 3:15). How can the Men of Steel help you become more faithful, and even more successful?

Leaders Ask Application Questions

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The point of this post is to challenge leaders and teachers. To be effective in leading your class, make sure to ask application questions that lead your group to spiritual growth. This is perhaps one of the most quoted passages in the Bible Study business:

But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. (James 1:22-25)

To study the Bible, or to take a class on prayer, or discuss compassion for the poor but not do anything about what one has learned, is a waste of time.

The Word of God holds up a mirror in which we can see our own face: our character, values, attitudes, and habits. It offers us a perspective on our situation and relationships that we can’t get on our own. It also opens up a window into the realm of God, in which we see the face of Christ looking back at us. We get to compare our face to that of Christ, noting the similarities and differences. The Bible promises that we can change (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Extensive psychotherapy doesn’t change most people all that much. When change does happen, something on the order of a miracle is occurring. But the gospel insists that the Spirit of God (through the Word of God and with the help of the people of God) can and will perform this miracle in any person willing to cooperate.

So many study groups settle for educating people about God and the Christian life, but they don’t believe it’s possible for them to really become like Jesus. People like the idea in theory, but the actual process scares them.

  1. Do we really want to take a hard look at ourselves in the mirror, week after week? Can we bear to see and examine the face of Christ?
  2. Do we really want to give up our familiar paths and strike out on the uncharted territory of God’s ways?
  3. Do we really want the Spirit breaking up our concrete habits with a jackhammer?

Likely, your group contains decent people who sort of want to follow Christ but aren’t all that eager to see their lives disrupted. They are busy people who have jobs, families, bills, and housework that don’t leave them hours and hours to contemplate Christ and their lives. Discussion questions that invite them to apply the Word of God to their lives need to take into account both the mandate of the gospel (big changes) and the realities of the human condition (big obstacles to change).

Go Slow and Deep: People who are asked to take drastic action too often and in too many different directions eventually go numb in order to survive. Consider the person who hears a Sunday sermon, reads the Bible even once or twice a week, and attends Sunday School each week. If this person encounters three, four, or more calls in one week to change drastically, it’s overwhelming. Over time, people learn to tune out the guilt feelings triggered by such calls.

In your small group, learn to ask, “So what?” regularly and systematically, but ask, “Now what?” sparingly, yet with focus and detail.

  1. “So what?” invites group members to think about the implications of what they are studying. “Now what?” asks them to take action individually or together, to do something concrete about those implications.
  2. “So what?” is theoretical, general application. “Now what?” is practical, specific application.
  3. “So what?” helps people think an issue through. “Now what?” guides them step by step in a realistic plan to be doers of the Word.
  4. “So what?” questions work in at least two dimensions.
    1. The first dimension is when: helping the group bridge the gap between when the passage was written (then) and our current situation today (now).
    2. The second dimension is who: discerning how a passage applies to people in general, to them as individuals, or to them as a group.

Then and Now: One common error in Bible study is to assume that something God told someone to do in 605 B.C. is what God wants each of us to do today. A related error is to assume that God wants us to imitate everything the first Christians did without regard to the differences of situation. These errors overlook the fact that God deals both in timeless principles and in unique situations.

  1. “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3) is a timeless principle.
  2. “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household” (Genesis 12:1) is an instruction to a particular person, Abram.

When we get the particular and the timeless confused:

  1. We may conclude that God wants all men everywhere to be circumcised and all women everywhere to cover their heads.
  2. We may conclude, like many 19th-century Americans, that because Paul treated slavery as OK in A.D. 50, it was still OK in A.D. 1850.
  3. We may decide that since God told Joshua to practice genocide against the utterly degenerate Canaanites, then maybe our enemies deserve genocide, and maybe we have been called by God to imitate Joshua.

1. “So what?” questions always begin with what was then. The first “So what?” question should point to the original purpose of the writer or speaker in the passage:

  1. What do you think Jesus wanted His audience to do in response to this parable?
  2. What action does Paul tell the Galatians to take?

With a story, it may be more helpful to ask about how the various characters responded to the challenges they faced:

  1. How did Abram deal with his doubts?
  2. How did the apostles handle the conflict between the Greek- and Aramaic-speaking believers?

2. Next we look for bridges between then and now by asking how our situation is like and unlike the situation addressed in the passage:

  1. What conflicts do we face in our ministry? In what ways do they resemble the conflict described in Acts 6? In what ways are they different?
  2. Do you identify with the Galatians in any ways? In what ways are you similar or different?

As the leader, you should always ask yourself, “How is our situation different?” This question will help you guide the group away from erroneous applications. Joshua’s conquest of Canaan was in many ways a unique situation. The founding of the first Christian community in Jerusalem was also unique in many ways.

3. Finally, with the similarities and differences between then and now in mind, we can ask whether the passage offers any timeless (always) principles, like, “What can we learn about good and poor ways of handling doubt from Abram’s example?”

Principles can include a sin to avoid, a promise to trust, an example to follow, a command to obey, or a truth to believe. It is essential not to generalize a universal principle from a specific situation without careful thought about the differences between then and now.

Sometimes you’ll want to help people apply the passage to their personal lives. At other times, you’ll draw out a group application. Most of the Bible was written not to individuals, but to groups. The “you” in many passages is plural.

Another way of asking, “So what?” is to point people toward listening to the Holy Spirit:

  1. What do you sense the Holy Spirit is saying to us about how we relate to others in our lives who don’t know Christ?
  2. What is one key truth from this passage that you sense the Spirit is urging you to embrace?

Set aside 15 minutes at the end of your group meeting to contemplate questions. Pray, asking the Holy Spirit to speak. Then talk, with ears open.

Now What? “So what?” questions are general and ask for relevance. “Now what?” questions are pointed. They ask us to take action.

  1. How can you put this insight into practice this week?
  2. What can you do to cultivate this into a habit?
  3. What will it mean, in practical terms, for you to seek God’s kingdom first this week?
  4. How can we, as a group, obey Isaiah’s call to a true fast?

Many of your discussions will end with “So what?” questions. It is not a waste of time to help people think and feel more biblically. But sometimes, action is called for.

“Now what?” questions require specific, realistic, and measurable answers.

  1. Specific means that definite actions, rather than general goals, are specified.
  2. Realistic means that the person has devised a plan he can reasonably carry out within the limitations of his life, with the power of the Holy Spirit and the help of the group to back him up.
  3. Measurable means something concrete will be done, and at the end of a month or a year, the shift in the person’s attitudes or actions will be noticeable by an observant outsider. We shouldn’t become obsessed with measuring spiritual growth, since the most important changes are internal and may take time to affect our behavior dramatically, but it is possible to ask ourselves. What can I do to become a significantly more compassionate person by this time next year?

Bear in mind that questions about the future are often more intimate than those about the past or present. Most people don’t talk about their hopes and goals casually. When the group has been together for about six sessions or more, members will find it extremely bonding to begin discussing their hopes for who they want to become and how they plan to pursue their goals. One way of formulating this question is, “In what ways do you want to be different as a result of our studying Philippians?”

Counting the Cost: Jesus told a parable about two sons, in which one son agreed to do what his father asked but then didn’t follow through, while the other balked but eventually obeyed (Matthew 21:28-32 ). People frequently talk about how a passage applies to them but don’t do anything about it after the discussion. One reason for this is that they don’t consider the risks and costs of living the gospel. Jesus urged His followers to count the cost and to be sure they knew what they were getting themselves into before embracing the kingdom of God. Here are some questions you can use when studying a passage that you know asks something difficult, such as turning the other cheek:

  1. What are the risks of doing what Jesus says here?
  2. What would it cost you to do that?
  3. What obstacles hinder you from living that way consistently?

Then, having looked squarely at the downside, invite people to weigh it against the upside:

  1. What would be the benefits of living like this?
  2. What would motivate a person to take those risks?
  3. How can you overcome those obstacles? How can we help?

Not Just the Facts: Application questions provide the potential for spiritual growth. They take us beyond learning facts about a passage of Scripture. We discover how the passage applied to its original readers, how that ancient situation connects with our modern world, and how to do something with what we’ve learned. This process helps us become doers of the Word, not merely hearers, and as the Scriptures promise, such people (and such small groups) “will be blessed in their doing.”

Thanks to Karen Lee-Thorp, Discipleship Journal, July/August 1998

How to be an Above Average Leader

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I sometimes wonder what it takes to be a truly great leader, and how many people would I fit into that category. I’ll address leaders in a moment, but when it comes to teachers, Josh Hunt uses the word TIGER to make a point, and he tells us that there are the five steps to doubling a group every two years or less:

Teach a halfway decent lesson each and every week; nothing less will do: You do not have to be Chuck Swindoll to grow a class. However, you must produce reasonably good lessons every single week. The better the teaching, the easier it is to grow a class.

Invite every member and every visitor to every fellowship every month: If we love them, they will come. We invite every member because it is good inreach. We invite every visitor, because it is good outreach. We do it every month because it is effective ministry. If we get them to the party, we will not keep them from class. If we get them to the party, they will come to love us, love our church and love our Lord.

Give Friday nights to Jesus: Give Friday nights to Jesus for an informal time of fellowship, games and Diet Coke. People who are opposed to the gospel are not opposed to ice cream. The Bible commands, “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” (1 Peter 4:9) If we will simply be obedient to this one command, we can double our classes every two years or less and our churches every five years or less.

Encourage the group toward ministry: We do this by providing specific examples of ministry and personally enlisting people to join the team. I encourage people to pick from the following seven examples of ministry opportunities: Class teacher, Outreach leader, Inreach leader, Fellowship leader, Hospitality leader (gives Friday nights to Jesus), Prayer leader, and Class president.

Reproduce: Doubling a class every two years or less is not about going from 10 to 20. It is about going from one group to two. Reproduction is hard on any level. Still, The future of the church is the reproduction of groups. The key to creating a new group is leadership. The price of creating a new group is saying good-bye. We must be willing to say good-bye in order to be obedient to the great commission. Remember that only the mature can reproduce. Only mature disciples are willing to say good-bye. We must reproduce in order to insure the life of the next generation.

I included all this not just because it is a solid strategy for growing groups, but for the first point, teach a half-way decent lesson! We don’t have to be outstanding in order to teach or lead; can we shoot for above average? I recently discovered three tips to becoming above average:

  1. Do what others won’t: Have you ever heard someone say, “Oh I would never do that?” Often this is a sign that we are on the right track. To live and serve in an above average way means you are willing to do what others won’t. Don’t let this bother or intimidate you! Recognize that every leader faces the same challenge, starting with Jesus. He certainly could have settled for an average lifestyle, but He chose to lay down His life to fulfill His purpose.
  2. Create productive habits: Leaders choose what to do with their time, their health, their desires, their appetites, their words and their thoughts. Ephesians 5:15-16 tells us “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the most of the time.” Our time and energy needs to be fruitful, not frivolous. We all have areas of life that are uncultivated and unfruitful. Often all it takes is for a seed to be planted and we can turn that around.
  3. Refuse to live an average lifestyle: Average leaders don’t stop to examine what they are doing. They live by their emotions and take the path of least resistance. To be above average, you may need to watch less TV, read more books, set goals, take care of your health, eat better, exercise more, forgive, encourage, and take more risks. Of course, this also means you get to see God do more in and through you than the “average” person might.

The reality is average, status-quo, ordinary living doesn’t inspire others to follow Christ more closely. Radical, above-average, extraordinary living does! This can be a challenge. Average seems so comfortable, appealing, safe. Not to mention, it’s what everyone else is doing, so it makes life easier (or so it seems).

Are you ready to be above average? I hope the answer is yes, because that means you will be able to reach more people with the love and encouragement of Christ, and lead them to grow and mature into His image. That is worth the inconvenience of letting go of the status quo.

When Life is Unscripted

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Paul was steadfast in his goal; he was going to Jerusalem (Acts 21:13) and when he arrived, he met with mixed reviews.

First they met acceptance (Acts 21:17): the brothers welcomed Paul and his companions warmly. Don’t miss Luke’s terminology, he said when “we” arrived. We might not have faulted his friends if they did not go to Jerusalem with Paul.  He was intent on going to Jerusalem, but his companions could have told him to go on ahead if you want to, but we’re not going! You can throw a rock at that hornets’ nest but I’m not going to stand around here while you do it. But they went with him. It’s almost like Thomas when he said, “Let us go on to Jerusalem that we may die with him” (John 11:16). They knew trouble awaited Jesus and they went anyway, same here with Paul.

When he got there, they might have talked a long time since Paul reported in detail all that God had done (Acts 21:19). Their reaction was to praise God, notice they did not praise Paul (Acts 21:20). Have you been warmed and rejuvenated with passion after hearing stories from the mission field?

Next, they met apprehension; they had a little good news, bad news scenario. First the good news, many Jews had believed (Acts 21:20). The bad news was that they were zealous for the Law and believed that Paul taught people they should not live according to Jewish customs (Acts 21:21). So in this situation, they’re saved, but they’re also mad. James must have been in a tough spot caught in the middle. How many times have you been stuck in the middle with believers you love on both sides of an issue?

In this situation, what they were saying was not even true. If people wanted circumcision, they could practice it, but Paul said it had nothing to do with salvation. We might expect unbelievers to misunderstand our theology, but believers can also be fairly cruel. Remember things like the inquisition? Like Paul, we must also seek common ground between differing parties, and we need to remove any barriers or obstacles to people finding faith in Christ. Let’s build witnessing relationships but still maintain our biblical standards.

Paul also met accusation (Acts 21:27) when the troublemaker Jews from Ephesus arrived; remember the guys who started the riot (Acts 19:8-9)? The entire city is in an uproar and they wanted to beat him to death (Acts 21:30, 31). What’s interesting, is that God used Roman unbelievers to rescue people, and they saved his life!

Application: Life can often send things our way that are not on the scheduled itinerary; I call this life unscripted. It just might come down to faith in the One who holds us in the palm of his hand. We want things to go smoothly with no pain, suffering or hardship, but that is not what is promised. God promises to go through life with us, not necessarily to deliver us from the suffering. Paul even prayed that he would not only know Christ, but to also share in the fellowship in his sufferings (Philippians 3:10). Are you at the point where you can accept whatever life or the world throws at you? Can you praise God in the midst of suffering? Can you praise him in the storm? Are you willing to worship God because it is the right thing to do and he deserve it, or do you follow him because of what you get out of it (primarily heaven at the end of this life)? Are there people in your life who will stand by you in the midst of suffering and pain rather than run from it in self-preservation?

Helping, Fixing, or Serving?

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I am a tremendous advocate of servant leadership. As we think about the biblical mandate of serving others (Mark 10:45), we often think of volunteerism; doing something for someone else. I found this article about the motivation and the larger picture behind volunteerism and doing things for other people: whether we should call it helping, fixing or serving others.

”Fixing and helping create a distance between people, but we cannot serve at a distance, We can only serve that to which we are profoundly connected.”

Helping, fixing and serving represent three different ways of seeing life. When you help, you see life as weak. When you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life as whole. Fixing and helping may be the work of the ego, and service the work of the soul.

Service rests on the premise that the nature of life is sacred, that life is a holy mystery which has an unknown purpose. When we serve, we know that we belong to life and to that purpose. From the perspective of service, we are all connected: All suffering is like my suffering and all joy is like my joy. The impulse to serve emerges naturally and inevitably from this way of seeing.

Serving is different from helping. Helping is not a relationship between equals. A helper may see others as weaker than they are, needier than they are, and people often feel this inequality. The danger in helping is that we may inadvertently take away from people more than we could ever give them; we may diminish their self-esteem, their sense of worth, integrity or even wholeness.

When we help, we become aware of our own strength. But when we serve, we don’t serve with our strength; we serve with ourselves, and we draw from all of our experiences. Our limitations serve; our wounds serve; even our darkness can serve. My pain is the source of my compassion; my woundedness is the key to my empathy.

Serving makes us aware of our wholeness and its power. The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in others and the wholeness in life. The wholeness in you is the same as the wholeness in me. Service is a relationship between equals: our service strengthens us as well as others. Fixing and helping are draining, and over time we may burn out, but service is renewing. When we serve, our work itself will renew us. In helping we may find a sense of satisfaction; in serving we find a sense of gratitude.

Harry, an emergency physician, tells a story about discovering this. One evening on his shift in a busy emergency room, a woman was brought in about to give birth. When he examined her, Harry realized immediately that her obstetrician would not be able to get there in time and he was going to deliver this baby himself. Harry likes the technical challenge of delivering babies, and he was pleased. The team swung into action, one nurse hastily opening the instrument packs and two others standing at the foot of the table on either side of Harry, supporting the woman’s legs on their shoulders and murmuring reassurance. The baby was born almost immediately.

While the infant was still attached to her mother, Harry laid her along his left forearm. Holding the back of her head in his left hand, he took a suction bulb in his right and began to clear her mouth and nose of mucous. Suddenly, the baby opened her eyes and looked directly at him. In that instant, Harry stepped past all of his training and realized a very simple thing; that he was the first human being this baby girl had ever seen. He felt his heart go out to her in welcome from all people everywhere, and tears came to his eyes.

Harry has delivered hundreds of babies, and has always enjoyed the excitement of making rapid decisions and testing his own competency. But he says that he had never let himself experience the meaning of what he was doing before, or recognize what he was serving with his expertise. In that flash of recognition he felt years of cynicism and fatigue fall away and remembered why he had chosen this work in the first place. All his hard work and personal sacrifice suddenly seemed to him to be worth it.

He feels now that, in a certain sense, this was the first baby he ever delivered. In the past he had been preoccupied with his expertise, assessing and responding to needs and dangers. He had been there many times as an expert, but never before as a human being. He wonders how many other such moments of connection to life he has missed. He suspects there have been many.

As Harry discovered, serving is different from fixing. In fixing, we see others as broken, and respond to this perception with our expertise. Fixers trust their own expertise but may not see the wholeness in another person or trust the integrity of the life in them. When we serve we see and trust that wholeness. We respond to it and collaborate with it. And when we see the wholeness in another, we strengthen it. They may then be able to see it for themselves for the first time.

One woman who served me profoundly is probably unaware of the difference she made in my life. In fact, I do not even know her last name and I am sure she has long forgotten mine.

At twenty-nine, because of Crohn’s Disease, much of my intestine was removed surgically and I was left with an ileostomy. A loop of bowel opens on my abdomen and an ingeniously designed plastic appliance which I remove and replace every few days covers it. Not an easy thing for a young woman to live with, and I was not at all sure that I would be able to do this. While this surgery had given me back much of my vitality, the appliance and the profound change in my body made me feel hopelessly different, permanently shut out of the world of femininity and elegance.

At the beginning, before I could change my appliance myself, it was changed for me by nurse specialists. These white-coated experts were women my own age. They would enter my hospital room, put on an apron, a mask and gloves, and then remove and replace my appliance. The task completed, they would strip off all their protective clothing. Then they would carefully wash their hands. This elaborate ritual made it harder for me. I felt shamed.

One day a woman I had never met before came to do this task. It was late in the day and she was dressed not in a white coat but in a silk dress, heels and stockings. She looked as if she was about to meet someone for dinner. In a friendly way she told me her first name and asked if I wished to have my ileostomy changed. When I nodded, she pulled back my covers, produced a new appliance, and in the most simple and natural way imaginable removed my old one and replaced it, without putting on gloves. I remember watching her hands. She had washed them carefully before she touched me. They were soft and gentle and beautifully cared for. She was wearing a pale pink nail polish and her delicate rings were gold.

At first, I was stunned by this break in professional procedure. But as she laughed and spoke with me in the most ordinary and easy way, I suddenly felt a great wave of unsuspected strength come up from someplace deep in me, and I knew without the slightest doubt that I could do this. I could find a way. It was going to be all right.

I doubt that she ever knew what her willingness to touch me in such a natural way meant to me. In ten minutes she not only tended my body, but healed my wounds. What is most professional is not always what best serves and strengthens the wholeness in others. Fixing and helping create a distance between people, an experience of difference. We cannot serve at a distance. We can only serve that to which we are profoundly connected, that which we are willing to touch. Fixing and helping are strategies to repair life. We serve life not because it is broken but because it is holy.

Serving requires us to know that our humanity is more powerful than our expertise. In forty-five years of chronic illness I have been helped by a great number of people, and fixed by a great many others who did not recognize my wholeness. All that fixing and helping left me wounded in some important and fundamental ways. Only service heals.

Service is not an experience of strength or expertise; service is an experience of mystery, surrender and awe. Helpers and fixers feel causal. Servers may experience from time to time a sense of being used by larger unknown forces. Those who serve have traded a sense of mastery for an experience of mystery, and in doing so have transformed their work and their lives into practice.

Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. is Associate Clinical Professor of Family and Community Medicine at U.C.S.F. Medical School and co-founder and medical director of the Commonweal Cancer Help Program. She is author of the bestseller, Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal.

[ Helping vs. Serving – Noetic Science Review (PDF) ]

The Family Christmas Card Photo

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What is it about the family Christmas card photo that brings out the worst in people? This is an insightful interpretation about the lessons we can learn. The camera captures a typical family as they really are, but the card’s end result is a snapshot of who we can be through the hope of Jesus’ birth.

The Discipleship Method of Jesus

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At King’s Grant, I am the Pastor of Discipleship. While not an expert on all matters of discipleship, I have a passion and goal for people to grow in their faith and relationship with Christ. I believe that all followers of Christ need to be FAT (faithful, available and teachable). If we are no longer learning, we fail to be a disciple. The vision of the discipleship ministry is to “move people toward higher levels of commitment to Christ and his church.”

We measure maturity a lot of different ways in our churches. Sometimes it’s measured by church attendance. Other times it’s measured by Bible knowledge. But the biblical evidence of maturity is fruit. (For a great study on what it means to bear fruit, check out the teaching of Bruce Wilkinson’s Secrets of the Vine). In Matthew 7:17-20 Jesus says, “Every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit, thus by their fruit you will recognize them.” Maturity is all about fruit. I like what Rick Warren has to say about authentic discipleship.

How many times have you heard that “God doesn’t expect us to be successful. He expects us to be faithful.” That’s only half true. The Bible makes it very clear that God expects far more than faithfulness. He also expects fruitfulness. This is taught all throughout the New Testament. Many people will be surprised when they get to heaven and God says, “You didn’t bear any fruit?” Remember, Jesus cursed the fig tree because it didn’t bear fruit (Mark 11:12-14)!

God expects fruitfulness in our lives, and he says it over and over and over again. But how do we help people bear spiritual fruit in their lives? How do we turn them into mature, mission-minded believers who minister to others? I’m not interested in the modern way, the postmodern way, the emergent way, the missional way, the seeker way, the charismatic way, or even the purpose driven way. I’m interested in how Jesus helped people become fruitful.

In Jesus’ prayer in John 17:4 he says, “I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.” He hasn’t gone to the cross yet, so what work has he completed? It’s the finished work of Christ that most churches never understand – making disciples.

How did he finish the task? His prayer in John 17 tells us.

1. He led them to salvation: Jesus prayed, “For you granted him authority over all men that he might give eternal life to all those you have given to him” (John 17:2). This should be obvious. Discipleship begins with evangelism. Of course, we want to disciple people who are already Christians. But remember, Jesus started with lost people. We’ve got to win people to Christ before we can train them. The spiritual birth always precedes spiritual growth.

2. He taught them the Word: Jesus taught his disciples the Word of God. There is no spiritual growth that’s not based on God’s Holy Scripture. In John 17:8 Jesus prays, “For I gave them the words that you gave me and they accepted them.” And in John 17:14 he says, “I have given them your word.” The Word of God is the foundation for all discipleship. Want people to grow spiritually and be fruitful? Get them in the Word every day. Just sitting in church and listening to sermons won’t help people be as fruitful as getting them into the Word for themselves.

3. He prayed for them: To see people grow spiritually, we need to pray for them. Jesus said, “I pray for them. I’m not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours” (John 17:9). We need to pray with them and pray for them. Paul followed this example of Christ as well. In fact, he starts almost every letter in the New Testament he wrote with a prayer for the church.

4. He checked up on them: Jesus says, “While I was with them…” (John 17:12). We can’t disciple somebody that we’re not with. We’ve got to be with people if you want them to grow spiritually. We’re not going to be able to personally check up and mentor everyone, but our church needs a system of coaching, mentoring or discipling. We need small group leaders who will follow up on people. Jesus protected his disciples from false teaching and kept them from backsliding. He guarded them. At the end of his ministry on earth, he says “I haven’t lost a single one of them – except Judas to fulfill Scripture (John 17:12). If we want people to grow, we need some sort of accountability in our ministry.

5. He sent them on mission: Then Jesus says, “As you sent me into the world I have sent them into the world” (John 17:18). Who do we think are the most mature people at our church? Could it be the people who’ve gone overseas on mission. It changes people. When they come back, they’re not thinking about materialism or consumerism anymore. Once people have served around the world, it changes our value system. We care more about people overseas, and we care about people in your own community, too. These short-term missionaries have come back and loved the poor, and get involved in the lives of others. Now that’s maturity.

The goal of discipleship in any church must be ministry and mission. Maturity is never an end in itself. In fact, you can’t be mature until you’re ministering and living on mission. Jesus said “I didn’t come to be served. I came to serve and to give my life as a ransom” (Mark 10:45). The words give and serve define the Christian life. If we want people to be like Christ, teach them to give and serve.

6. He expected reproduction: We know he expected reproduction because in John 17:20 he says, “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message.” He not only sent the disciples out into the world, but he implied that he’s expecting reproduction. Because they went out, there are nearly two billion people who claim the name of Christ around the world.

7. He focused on character: Jesus didn’t simply expand the knowledge, perspective, skills, or conviction of the disciples. He focused on their character. Spiritual maturity is about character and conduct, not just content. We don’t want to just fill up people’s minds with facts and figures. Paul says, “I want to present every man perfect in Christ” (Colossians 1:28). If people we’re training aren’t more like Jesus after we’ve worked together, we’ve missed the point.

8. He loved them: Jesus said, “You sent me and I have loved them as you have loved me” (John 17:23). This is so typical of Jesus. All that Jesus did for his disciples was in a spirit of love. We must love those we train. If we don’t love them, it doesn’t count. If we don’t have a sincere abiding love for the people in our church, then do you know what discipleship is? It’s manipulation. We’re just manipulating them toward a goal.

Sometimes we forget that Jesus is the best model we have when it comes to ministry. No one in the history of the world discipled people more effectively. Jesus was able to say at the end of his ministry that he had finished his work. I hope we can all say that as well.

Leaders Know When to Delegate

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Todd Rhoades, editor of Monday Morning Insight, shares insights from an article related to delegation. As he views it, effective delegation involves asking five key questions:

  1. Is there someone else who has (or can be given) the necessary information or expertise to complete the task? Is this a task that someone else can do, or is it critical that you do it yourself?
  2. Does the task provide an opportunity to grow and develop another person’s skills?
  3. Is this a task that will recur, in a similar form, in the future?
  4. Do you have enough time to delegate the job effectively? Time must be available for adequate training, for questions and answers, for opportunities to check progress, and for rework if that is necessary.
  5. Is this a task that I should delegate? Tasks critical for long-term success (for example, recruiting the right people for your team) genuinely do need your attention.

If you can answer “yes” to at least some of the above questions, then it could well be worth delegating this job. Read the whole article.

Which brings us back to time and effort. Looking at this list, it is obvious that delegation, especially first-time delegation, will take some extra time and energy. The payoff is in the long-term. Training someone to do tasks that take up an on-going amount of your time will free you to do things that only you can do. And, in many cases, if you’re like me, most of the things that you should be delegating are things you really don’t enjoy doing in the first place.

One goal of mine at King’s Grant is to get people connected to the church through meaningful volunteerism. I put together a list of tasks that can be delegated to willing volunteers that therefore free ministerial and office staff for other tasks that only they can fulfill. Take a look at the volunteer opportunities.

Our Goal is Getting Connected

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My primary responsibilities on staff involve helping people to get better connected to God and our church, and the development of small groups; I see the two as being compatible. But getting connected is not automatic for a lot of people. Many are content to sit back and receive what the church has to offer, but do not understand that the entire body needs to be functioning if the body is to be healthy.

The world has never been more connected. Companies are laying millions of miles of fiber optics and shooting satellites into space. Kids all around the world are texting each other on cell phones, yet we hear about people all the time who feel more and more disconnected. They feel like they’re out of touch and lonely. Loneliness can come even when we are surrounded by a million people in Virginia Beach.

Our fast-moving lives wreak havoc on our relationships. We don’t feel nearly as connected to each other as people did a generation ago. We are not sitting on the front porch at sundown, watching the kids play and talking to neighbors over the back fence. These days we can close our electronic garage door and step into our house without even greeting our neighbors.

Yet we were created for relationship. The first thing God said was, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” God said that human beings were not made for isolation. We were made for connection. Why? We were created in the image of God. The Bible says God is love. And to love, you’ve got to have somebody else around you.

One of the crucial purposes of our church is to help people get rid of this sense of disconnection. There are people in our facility every weekend who aren’t connected to our church in a meaningful way. That’s why from time to time we offer the Connections Class.

Part of that class emphasizes the four great word pictures of the New Testament church. These metaphors tell us a lot about why God wants us to connect with one another. They give us a picture of what the church should be.

The Bible says that that being spiritually connected means:

We’re built like a building: “In Christ you are built together spiritually into a dwelling place for God” (Ephesians 2:22 NRSV). We are meant to fit together like bricks in a new building. It’s essential that the parts of a building fit together. You aren’t safe otherwise because there’s no support. Those who aren’t connected to the church family in any meaningful way have no support. Life is tough. We all need the support of people who care about us. King’s Grant can provide that for the people in our community.

We’re joined in a body: “Just as there are many parts to our bodies, so it is with Christ’s Body. We are all parts of it, and it takes every one of us to make it complete, for we each have different work to do. So we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others” (Romans 12: 4-5 TLB). That which Jesus did when he was here in his physical body, he wants to do today through our church. We are the body of Christ on Earth. We are his hands. We are his feet. All of us have to play our part. Being part of the body of Christ means we are a part of something bigger than ourselves, and if we don’t play our specific part, the mission of the church is impacted.

We’re born into a family: “I want you to know how people who are members of God’s family must live. God’s family is the church” (1 Timothy 3:15 GW). I like this one because it doesn’t take any explanation. Most people think that Christianity is a belief system. There are beliefs in Christianity, but it’s so much more. Christianity is a belong system. The Bible says we were born again into God’s family when we became a follower of Jesus. It also says that we have been adopted into God’s family. Both are great metaphors for what it should mean to be a part of the church.

Because those of us who follow Christ are part of God’s family, we should accept one another and love one another. Now let me be very clear here. We don’t approve of everyone’s behavior. That’s not love. If someone is doing something hurtful, approval is the opposite of love. But we must accept and love one another. Your family hasn’t always approved of everything you’ve done, but – I hope – they’ve loved you anyway. That’s a picture of the church that your congregation needs to see.

We’re attached to a vine: “Live in me, and I will live in you. A branch cannot produce any fruit by itself. It has to stay attached to the vine. In the same way, you cannot produce fruit unless you live in me” (John 15:4 GW). Being connected isn’t just a horizontal issue. It’s a vertical one as well. Our people need to be connected to God himself, and Jesus says when we are connected to him it’s like being attached to a vine. Fruit not connected to a vine dies. It’s that simple. Our people can have all the interpersonal relationships possible, but if they are not connected to God, they will not have the life that God wants them to have.

Paul continues Jesus’ metaphor when he talks about the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23. When we’re connected to the True Vine, there will be certain spiritual fruit in our lives. If you’re connected with God, those fruit will characterize your life, and that’s the kind of connection we all want.

From the Connections Class workbook, I teach about six symbols of the church:

  1. The Church is a Fellowship:
    • Acts 2:42 – (they devoted themselves to fellowship, prayer, teaching…).
    • Ephesians 4:3 – (united in spirit, bonded with peace).
    • Romans 14:19 – (aim for harmony in the church, build each other up).
    • John 17:23 – (Jesus desires complete unity, so the world will know that the Father sent the Son, and loves them).
  2. The Church is a Family:
    • First Peter 3:8 – (be of one mind, sympathize with each other, love each other, have compassion, love, humility).
    • Galatians 6:10 – (do good to all, especially to those in the household).
    • Hebrews 2:10-12 – (we are declared to be holy and brothers of Jesus).
    • First Peter 4:17 – (judgment begins with the family or household of God…).
    • First Timothy 5:1-2 – (speak to others as fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters).
    • First Timothy 3:4-5 – (must manage his own family well to lead God’s family).
  3. The Church is a Flock (Jesus’ favorite description for the church).
    • John 10:1-30, Matthew 26:31, Matthew 25:33 – (Jesus’ imagery with sheep).
    • John 21:16-17 – (the flock is led by a shepherd).
    • First Peter 5:1-2 – (overseers and shepherds are leaders of the church).
    • Acts 20:17-18, 28 – (elders are to keep watch over them, like shepherds).
    • Titus 1:5-7, 1 Timothy 5:17 – (elders will direct the affairs of the church).
  4. The Church is a Body (not a business, an organism not an organization):
    • First Corinthians 12:27 – (we are members of Christ’s body).
    • Ephesians 5:23 – (He is Savior of the body, His church).
    • Ephesians 1:22-23, Colossians 1:18 – (and the church is His body, made full and complete).
    • Colossians 2:19 – (Christ is head of the body and He holds it together).
    • Romans 12:4-6 – (the members of the body working together).
  5. The Church is a Bride:
    • Second Corinthians 11:2 – (…I promised you as a pure bride to one husband, who is Christ).
    • Isaiah 62:4 – (Your new name will be “The City of God’s Delight” and “The Bride of God,” for the Lord delights in you and will claim you as his bride).
    • Revelation 19:7 – (…For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself).
    • Revelation 21:9 – (Then one of the seven angels … said to me, “Come with me! I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb”).
  6. The Church is a Building:
    • First Corinthians 3:9-10 – (…you are God’s field, God’s building. … I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care).
    • Ephesians 2:20-21 – (In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit).