Tag: Leadership

Leading Small Group Discussions

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Beginning in 2011, King’s Grant is preparing to “Hear God’s Voice” and then “Take Steps of Faith.” I’ll post the emphasis is detail later, but for now, my main concern is to invite people to become a part of the journey. My desire is for people to get involved in what God is doing at KGBC, and from where I stand, we need people involved in the leadership of small groups. That is where theological belief meets practical living. In our winter semester (starting in February), I plan on helping our people to improve at what they are doing in small groups, and also to invite new people to investigate if this type of service is for them.

How To Lead Small Group Bible Study Discussions: Why do some Bible study discussion groups sparkle with interest and worthwhile discoveries, while others seem to drag-even though all are studying the living word of God?

Guidelines – To lead a Bible study group successfully and to make this time of fellowship in God’s word a highlight of everyone’s week, consider these guidelines:

  1. Keep the group small (four to eight persons is probably best).
  2. Discuss only the Bible and its application to life.
  3. As the discussion leader, be a chairman rather than a lecturer or teacher.
  4. Before the discussion time, write out a list of questions that will stimulate active discussion.
  5. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s guidance as you lead.
  6. Pray, prepare, pray.

Why Keep it Small?
A small group encourages even quiet members to talk about what they discover in the Bible, and to share problems and to ask questions. They will grow in their ability to speak comfortably about spiritual issues.

With this kind of discussion setting in which all participate, the members will be more motivated to complete their individual study preparation beforehand. They’ll become more personally involved with what God says in the Bible, and will also profit greatly from hearing the rich discoveries that others in the group are making.

A face-to-face Bible discussion group also provides opportunity for members to get to know one another better, with God and his word at the center of their relationships.

Finally, since the leader of such a group acts as a chairman rather than a teacher, it isn’t necessary for him to know a great deal more about the subject than others in the group. Leading Bible study groups is therefore an excellent ministry opportunity for laymen.

What Should We Aim For?
Perhaps your most important aim is to study the Bible itself. “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching the faith and correcting error, for resetting the direction of man’s life and training him in good living. The Scriptures are the comprehensive equipment of the man of God, and fit him fully for all branches of his work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17 , Phillips).

Because of this supreme value of Scripture, we want to discover the truths of the Bible, and to understand or interpret their meaning and relevance, This should be the focus of the group’s time together.

Another important aim is to apply the Bible to our daily lives. God wants to change us, not just inform our minds. Keep thinking about these questions.

  1. Which of the these truths in the Scriptures do we need to act on now?
  2. What are we already doing about this, and where are we failing?

Application can also mean using what you have learned to help someone else, or remembering such things as important scriptural doctrines, God’s attributes, and his promises. The three basic aims of Bible study and discussion are:

  1. Discover—finding out what the Bible says,
  2. Understanding—recognizing what it means,
  3. Application—doing, using, and remembering what it says.

What Does the Leader Do?
The Bible discussion leader asks questions which help each group member become a “discoverer.” The leader is not a teacher. He is a guide and a participant himself He uses questions that help the group members discover, understand, and apply biblical truths. He does this by:

  1. Launching the discussion
  2. Guiding the discussion
  3. Summarizing the discussion

A good launching question is one that simply asks the group members what they discovered on their own in a particular section or question of their Bible study preparation. This means using phrases such as “What did you learn?” “What did you observe?” “What did you discover?” “What impressed you?” For example: “What did you learn from this section about prayer?”

To guide the discussion means keeping it moving, and drawing out the principal thoughts the group is sharing. You can ask questions like these! “Who else would like to comment on that?” “What does someone else see in this verse?” “Does anyone else want to add something?”

When the discussion wanders away from the Bible, you may need to get the group back on track by saying, “What we’re discussing is interesting, but we’ve left our topic. Perhaps we could discuss this more at a different time.” Then you could present a thought-provoking question that draws the group back to the biblical issues you were discussing.

Summarizing the discussion is something you may want to do frequently throughout the group’s time together. Your summary will serve as a brief review and as a transition to another topic. Remember to summarize what the group has discussed, rather than your own insights. Don’t preach.

How Do I Ask Questions?
Questioning is a powerful method of stimulating thought. So the more you plan and evaluate the questions you ask in a Bible study group, the greater will be your effectiveness as a leader.

One of the main reasons for asking questions is to help people understand biblical principles. Our questions can help them grasp the basic issue a particular verse or passage is addressing.

Once the group has identified this biblical principle, you can ask a follow-up question that ties in this principle to a specific situation This can be a real-life situation or a hypothetical one, but it should help the group realize how the principle can be practically applied. Then they can see more clearly how the Scriptures can actually change our lives.

When you ask a question, look around the group until someone answers it. Then you can ask “What did others of you find?” or “What did someone else discover?” Again, look around the whole group, watching for anyone who wants to speak instead of pointing out a specific individual.

To begin with, the group members will probably look directly at you as they give their replies. But if you patiently persist with good guiding questions, the members will begin responding to the group instead of to the leader. Thus, true discussion will begin. Rather than being leader-centered, they will become group-centered.

The best way to learn these methods is to write out your discussion questions beforehand.

Common Errors – Try to Avoid These Things:

  1. Not making the questions sound conversational. Even though you prepare and write out your questions beforehand speak them in a conversational tone. And use your own natural vocabulary.
  2. Being afraid of silence after ask a question. Don’t be impatient or nervous. Give everyone time to think.
  3. Limiting yourself to asking questions. The leader is also a participant in the group. Share freely your answers and observations, but don’t dominate the discussion.
  4. Combining two questions in one. Ask one question at a time.
  5. Not explaining what you want the group to do. You’re in charge. Don’t hesitate to step in from time to time to influence the direction of the discussion, to end the discussion on time, to call on someone to pray, and so on.
  6. Trying to maintain too much control. If the discussion “takes off,” don’t worry about it as long as the group doesn’t wander too far from the Scriptures.
  7. Asking a question which can be answered “yes” or “no.” This type of question hinders discussion.
  8. Asking questions that are too complex. State each question simply and clearly.
  9. Emphasizing your own viewpoint or application. Don’t expect everyone to be deeply impressed with the same things in Scripture that deeply impressed you.

A Checklist – Here are Questions to Ask Yourself After Each Group Discussion:

  1. Was I familiar enough with the material to feel free in leading the discussion?
  2. Did everyone take part in the discussion? Or was it a lecture (with me doing most of the talking), or a conversation among only two or three of us?
  3. Did we keep to the subject without wandering?
  4. Did I frequently summarize the main ideas that were brought up by the group?
  5. Did the discussion lead to further understanding of the truths the group members discovered in their personal Bible study?
  6. Did we discuss adequately how we can apply what we learned to our lives?
  7. Did the discussion end on time?

This is an article from Discipleship Journal, November 1981. [print_link] [email_link]

LifeShape 4 the Square

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This information is not original with me, but from a fascinating book I found entitled, “The Passionate Church: The Art of Life-Changing Discipleship.” Since I am a visual learner, I have included my personally designed diagrams along with my own notes to help in my disciple-making and teaching efforts.

The square lays out the stages every disciple experiences and gives you the corresponding style of leadership.

You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant. –Mark 10:42-43

The leadership of Jesus provides us with powerful tools for leading the church through the challenges of cultural change. Leadership style is not about position, but about how we relate to one another.

We are in a management-oriented society that is in need of leaders. We can manage growth, productivity and human resources, but in times of crises people do not look to managers, but to leaders.

A true leader looks like a sheep from the front and a shepherd from behind.

“The time promised by God has come at last!” he announced. “The Kingdom of God is near! Repent of your sins and believe the Good News!” One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” And they left their nets at once and followed him. A little farther up the shore Jesus saw Zebedee’s sons, James and John, in a boat repairing their nets. He called them at once, and they also followed him, leaving their father, Zebedee, in the boat with the hired men. —Mark 1:15-20

Stage one: (Jesus does not really choose these guys based on their resumes or spiritual gift inventories, but they join up ready to take on the world). When we start out on a new trail, we need a strong confident leader to show us the way.

Disciple Style D1 = Confident / IncompetentLeadership Style L1 = Directive / Set Example
  • High enthusiasm
  • High confidence
  • Low experience
  • Low competence
  • High direction
  • High example
  • Low consensus
  • Low explanation

“So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom. “Sell your possessions and give to those in need. This will store up treasure for you in heaven! And the purses of heaven never get old or develop holes. Your treasure will be safe; no thief can steal it and no moth can destroy it. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. —Luke 12:32-34

Stage Two: (Reality sets in when they discover they have no idea what they are doing, and they hit rock bottom. They are not having fun anymore). When a person is in a time of discouragement and despair, vision is critical.

Disciple Style D2 = Unenthusiastic / IncompetentLeadership Style L2 = Visionary / Coach
  • Low enthusiasm
  • Low confidence
  • Low experience
  • Low competence
  • High direction
  • High discussion
  • High example
  • High accessibility

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. This is my command: Love each other. —John 15:12-17

Stage Three: (Jesus turns away from the crowds to spend more time with His disciples, to boost confidence based on experience). Friends have common objectives and share their lives together.

Disciple Style D3 = Growing ConfidenceLeadership Style L3 = Pastoral / Consensus
  • Increasing enthusiasm
  • Growing experience
  • Intermittent confidence
  • Growing competence
  • Lower direction
  • Higher consensus
  • High discussion
  • High accessibility

Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” —Matthew 28:18-20

Stage Four: (Jesus is taken away and He has prepared them to carry on the ministry without Him, confident in partnership with them in reaching the world). Good leaders always get people to the stage where they are ready to accept delegated responsibility.

Disciple Style D4 = The end is in sightLeadership Style L4 = Delegation / Partnership
  • High enthusiasm
  • High confidence
  • High experience
  • High competence
  • Low direction
  • High consensus
  • Low example
  • High explanation

Summary of the Four Stages:

  1. I do, you watch
  2. I do, you help
  3. You do, I help
  4. You do, I watch

Disciple-Making Pastor, Part 3

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The Conflict Regarding Disciple Making and Churches:

The characteristics of disciple making are intentional, measurable, clearly communicated ministry.

Liberal Church:
This generally came out of the breakdown of absolute truth rooted in Scripture. It wanted to change the world through social action without much of a call toward salvation of the people in society.

Misconceptions About Discipleship:
It’s more than a trendy evangelical term, or getting serious about Christ, or mastering certain basics in Christianity, or skills training, program participation.

Weak Non-Professional Leadership:
Leadership from the marketplace is needed to make an impact in that marketplace, making changes in their circles of influence.

Churches Have Not Taken Seriously the Great Commission:
Perhaps the average church member has not been taught that the Great Commission is for all people, not just the church in general.

Accommodation to Culture:
This is the belief system of society, through media and the mind, morality, secular methodologies, superficial Christianity.

Ways to Influence People

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Leadership can be defined as exerting influence over people; which puts just about all of us into a leadership position. We influence people all the time; thus making us leaders. There is an art and a science to leading others; and the best example of leadership is Jesus himself.

Quotes:

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. — Henry Drummond

We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have–for their usefulness. — Thomas Merton

Top 10 Ways to Influence People:

  1. Respect other people’s time, space and values.
  2. Listen beyond words to someone’s heart.
  3. Ask questions in order to get to know someone.
  4. Be vulnerable with people closest to you.
  5. Make time for people, not just projects.
  6. Spend time in prayer with people you love.
  7. Go beyond chit-chat to real issues.
  8. Know your friends’ real dreams and intimidations.
  9. Take a road trip to build a friendship.
  10. Have fun together in spontaneous ways.

Leadership and Wisdom

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After the Word of God was growing and prevailing Ephesus (Acts 19:20) Paul decided that he needed to go to Jerusalem and then to Rome (Acts 19:21). While in Ephesus, the Emperor Claudius was poisoned and the Empire fell into the hands of a 16-year-old boy named Nero (in AD 54). It’s almost like Paul needed to witness to the new Emperor; maybe he thought it would be a great opportunity to change the Empire.

Paul was used by God in a mighty way and the enemy would not give up without a fight, so Paul encountered more trouble before he left Ephesus (Acts 19:21, 23). We are also told that Paul was again alone, having sent Erastus and Timothy into Macedonia (Acts 19:22).

It was normally the Jews causing Paul grief, but we read of two Gentile groups rising up against him: in Philippi (Acts 16:16-19) and here in Ephesus (Acts 19:23-41). It seems the gospel was a threat to the local idol making industry (Acts 19:24-25). Paul was hurting their trade and needed to be stopped; reasoning that he was robbing Artemis of her majesty (Acts 19:27). She was believed to be the daughter of Zeus and her temple was in Ephesus (one of the seven ancient wonders of the world). The silversmiths had made little statues in her likeness so I believe that these businessmen cared little about her majesty and more about their profits. The gospel and Paul were bad for business.

There was a town hall gathering in the theater in Ephesus and a couple believers are dragged to the meeting (Acts 19:29). Paul wanted to go there and speak to the crowd but his friends persuaded him not to go (Acts 19:30). Sometimes Paul had more passion and courage than sense. What I like here is that the disciples were not afraid to disagree with the apostle; Paul did not surround himself with yes-men and they had the freedom to speak their minds. Paul let the wisdom of others take priority over his own desires. He was not only a preacher and teacher but Paul was a good discussion leader (Acts 19:9). It is my observation that leaders who are afraid of others disagreeing with them leave little room for discussion. I am encouraged by leaders who do not think they always have to be right.

Not only did the friends of Paul not want him to go tho the theater, the city officials begged him not to go (Acts 19:31). Then the Jews got a man named Alexander to stir up the crowd chanting “Great is Artemis of the Ephesians” for about two hours (Acts 19:34), which is an odd thing for the Jews to do… to encourage the practice of idolatry (Exodus 20:3-4).

A little history: the people believed that Artemis had fallen to earth in the form of a meteor, like a multibreasted woman, who was proclaimed as the patron deity of childbirth. After a little research, I discovered she was the goddess of the hunt, wild animals, wilderness, childbirth, virginity and young girls, bringing and relieving disease in women; often depicted as a huntress carrying a bow and arrows. I am still amazed at what people will believe; sort of like believing that we all evolved from primordial muck by chance over time. It takes more faith to believe this universe just happened by accident than to believe in a divine creation. The universe is way to complex for there not to be an Intelligent Designer behind it all. Paul brought the message that the Messiah came down from the Father who offers everlasting life to those who believe; a much more believable story than a goddess falling as a rock from space.

Application: How many men today have another man beside them to guide them along life’s journey? Men who will speak truth to them, to help them avoid danger and temptation? How many of us are as passionate as Paul, compelled with a mission that must be accomplished? How many of us who are in leadership are humble enough to listen to others? Are we ever strong enough to admit, and even confess, that we were wrong? To our employees, our wives, our children? Do you surround yourself with yes-men or those who will challenge you and speak the truth to you in love?

How to Fulfill Your Calling

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I am participating in the Dave Ramsey EntreLeadership event at Regent University this Friday (November 5), so I was already thinking about leadership. I was recently reminded about Isaiah 1:19, which has always been one of my favorite leadership Scriptures. The NIV says it this way, “If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land.”

Add the next verse in Peterson’s paraphrase and we get this, “If you’ll willingly obey, you’ll feast like kings. But if you’re willful and stubborn, you’ll die like dogs. That’s right. God says so” (The Message) – Isaiah 1:19-20.

The word eat means satisfied, fulfilled, content, and to enjoy. I suppose that is something all of us want out of life. Sometimes I read on Facebook where a friend might say, “I love my life,” but can I honestly say that? Or do I allow disappointments, stress or unrealistic expectations to distract me from the pure pleasure of ministry; serving God and others?

This verse promises we can live fulfilled, enjoyable lives. But there’s a catch! First, we must be willing and obedient; willing to do things God’s way and be obedient to His leadership. As a leader (or parent, spouse, boss, deacon, employee, worship leader, children’s teacher, or whatever) we must be willing to do things that others are not doing. It sort of comes with the territory. Leaders do what is necessary to get the job done, not looking for credit or passing blame.We see a need and we do whatever it takes to meet that need.

The question then becomes, “When others criticize, or disappoint, or abandon you, are you still willing to let God shape you through His refining process?” In other words, are you willing to be stretched? Are you willing to do things that you know are beyond your abilities. Wait a minute! If we do things beyond our abilities, it seems that we are allowing God to work through us; using our weaknesses for His glory and His kingdom. It’s hard to boast about ourselves when there is no doubt that God accomplished the task (through us).

Consider 1 Peter 5:10 “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace … will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”

Being stretched by God means you will:

  1. Be uncomfortable: allow God to push you beyond your comfort zone, forced to grow, change, and be vulnerable to others.
  2. Give up your rights: to be offended, to not forgive, to be right, to judge, to not care or walk away when things get tough.
  3. Discipline your flesh: change your habits, introduce new disciplines, deal with stress in a healthy manner.
  4. Only do now that which you can live with tomorrow: always keep the big picture in mind, even when you want to react to the moment.
  5. Turn your back on the ordinary: accept the fact that God has extraordinary things for you, and be willing to take steps of faith in that direction.

To fulfill our calling as leaders, we don’t have the luxury of staying the same lovable person we are today! Remember that while this stretching ultimately glorifies God in our lives; our fulfillment and enjoyment comes as we are better able to impact others for the Kingdom.

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Leaders in a Dark Valley

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I read just yesterday about several pastors who resigned their churches and “are available for interim or other full time work.” It broke my heart because I interpreted this to mean they had no other choices but to leave their position due to some sort of issue(s). I talked to a former pastor friend of mine the other evening and he left his pastorate for personal reasons but we talked about a lot of the dysfunction that is in the DNA of the congregation.

I read this leadership devotion just this morning and wanted to pass it on to you. Taking courage because His presence will not leave you:

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

Life in general is filled with highs and lows, but it can especially be apparent for those in Christian ministry leadership positions. Just look at how many pastors, youth ministers, and worship directors eventually leave ministry. The work wears on a person. The constant complaints of doing too little of this or too much of that can drain anyone. As a leader, you are expected to be there for everyone at every moment of the day. No one is able to be there at all times. Still, guilt fills the mind and causes you to doubt your ministry and your effectiveness.

Yet, we are not left alone in this world. Through the darkest valleys of life, through the most difficult times of ministry, God is with us. As we lead his people, we can rest knowing that God leads us. When things get tight, the problems don’t seem to go away, and we struggle with guilt–the false guilt of not being able to be there for everyone–God will comfort us. He shields us even during the assaults of bitter people and harsh words. He will always lead us in a path meant to protect us and keep us strong.

When the road is dark and tough, God will guide and protect you. When you feel overwhelmed with loneliness, the Lord is close beside you. When your heart is asking hard questions and you feel beaten down, God will sustain you. We don’t need to live in fear, for God is always with you. He is willing to comfort and protect you. He guides you through every mountain and valley of life. He is your true Leader/Shepherd. And the more you trust him as Lord, the more you will experience the wonder of having a Shepherd.

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How to Hear from God

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In January 2011 we will have a special emphasis on hearing from God. It is a critical that we understand this concept. How in the world can we know God’s will and do God’s will if we cannot hear God’s call? Volunteerism begins with a calling of God, not with the needs of people (or the church). If people serve only because we have a need, burnout or boredom will follow closely behind. However, if we serve or volunteer because we have heard a word from God, or we have a passion for that type of service, we will have much greater success in our work. Sometimes the calling of God is the only thing that keeps missionaries on the field; same for regular volunteers in church ministries.

Let’s take a quick look at Noah who built the ark in faith.the Bible says that “He obeyed God, who warned him about things that had never happened before…” (Hebrews 11:7). How did he believe these things that had never happened before would actually happen? Faith, of course, but I believe there’s more.

Noah believed because he could hear God. So, how do we do that? By listening of course. Perhaps you might want to trust God, but you don’t hear him. Here’s the key – to hear God you have to get near God.

  1. You don’t hear God when the TV is on.
  2. You don’t hear God when you are listening to your iPod.
  3. You don’t hear God when you are listening to the radio.
  4. You don’t hear God when your mind is filled with a thousand other distractions.
  5. You’ve got to get alone with God and be quiet.

The Bible says, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). That means we need to solitude and just be quiet with your Bible, and then ask God if there is anything He wants to say to you. This is a quiet time where you can read God’s Word and talk to him about what’s on your heart.

The Bible has a term for this “being with God,” it is called, “walking with God.” Noah walked in close fellowship with God, so if you want to hear God, you’ve got to walk with him. That’s the aim of discipleship; that we walk with God, and develop a closer relationship with Him every day.

Isn’t it time to begin hearing from God and stepping out in faith? Sometimes we are afraid to step out in faith, or to get involved in a certain ministry. But what is the result of walking with God? You fear nothing. Why? Because when God is near, you lose your fear (2 Timothy 1:7).

  1. If you are fearful about getting involved in a ministry with children or preschoolers, you are not walking with the Lord.
  2. If you are fearful about leading a small group, you are not walking with the Lord.
  3. If you are fearful about your future, you are not walking with the Lord.
  4. If you are fearful about your finances, you are not walking with the Lord.
  5. If you are fearful about your marriage, you are not walking with the Lord.

Because the more your life is filled with the power and love of God, the less fear you have in your life. Love and fear don’t operate in the same heart at the same time.

Listen for the voice of God to speak to your soul, and then allow God to move you into action. There are places of service throughout King’s Grant Baptist Church; could God be directing you to take the lead?

Criticizing God’s Leaders

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Not that it’s happening in our church, but I thought I’d stroll through the Bible to find out what happens when people choose to criticize God’s leaders. Consider the consequences for these men and women:

  1. Miriam: she mocked Moses because he had a Cushite wife and was struck with leprosy (Numbers 12:1-2, 10)
  2. Korah and followers: He led the people of Israel to rebel against Moses’ leadership and was swallowed up by the earth (Numbers 16:1-2, 31-32, 33, 34)
  3. Michal: she despised David because he danced before the Lord and remained childless her whole life (2 Samuel 6:16, 20, 23)
  4. Shimei: he cursed and threw stones at David and was executed at Solomon’s order (2 Samuel 16:6-8, 9-10, 1 Kings 2:41-42, 44, 46)
  5. Some Youth: they mocked Elisha and laughed at his baldness and got killed by bears (2 Kings 2:23-24)
  6. Sanballat and Tobiah: they spread rumors and lies to stop the building of Jerusalem’s walls and got frightened and humiliated (Nehemiah 2:19, 4:1, 6:2, 5, 12, 13, 14).
  7. Hananiah: he contradicted Jeremiah’s prophecies with false predictions and died two months later (Jeremiah 28:15-17).
  8. Bar-Jesus, a sorcerer: he lied about Paul in an attempt to turn the proconsul against him and was struck with blindness (Acts 13:6-12).

The Son of a Pharisee

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It’s probably a verse you have come to know over the course of your Christian life. We quote it around Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and use it to remind parents of their responsibility to raise godly children; it does not happen just because we take our kids to church.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22:6

For the parents of the apostle Paul, these were not simply words of a short verse worth memorizing; they were the foundation of family life. In a Jewish home, it was not the job of the mother to teach spiritual things to the kids, it was the father’s responsibility, who learned it from his own father.

Philippians 3:5 tells us a bit of Paul’s early childhood: circumcised on the eighth day, a part of the children of Israel, the tribe of Benjamin, and even a “Hebrew of Hebrews.” The readers understood that Paul meant nothing but Jewish influence surrounded him in those early years.

The Code of Jewish Law states that “it is the duty of every father to train his children in the practice of all the precepts, whether biblical or rabbinical” and “to guard his children against any forbidden act.” Paul’s father took this responsibility very seriously.

Looking back through New Testament eyes, we tend to put Pharisees in a negative light, since Jesus had so much conflict with them and they ultimately schemed the crucifixion of Christ, but in the first century the Pharisees held a position of great honor. I wonder if Paul spoke from experience when he penned the words to the Ephesian church that fathers must not exasperate their children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

The Jewish historian Josephus (under contract with the Roman Empire) wrote the Jews lay greater stress on the training of children than on anything else; as one of the most important duties.

Being a Hebrew was not just about religion, or a way of life, but it defined who you were, how you thought and how you felt about life. It affected how you dressed (even the wearing of phylacteries – Exodus 13:9) to what you celebrated (the regular ritual and feasts).

So men, has there been a time in your life when you delegated the task of spiritual instruction to your wife, thinking that religious stuff was for women, or raising the kids is primarily woman’s work? I challenge you to make sure you rethink that position and learn from the life of Paul that religious instruction is the father’s role in the family. There is a phrase that should haunt each of us, “Like father, like son.”

While I don’t want to discount a miracle of God working in our kids lives, but how can we expect our children to mysteriously be right with God one day, or stand up for godly principles, if we ourselves are not right with God? We must model what a relationship with God is all about and train our kids in the way they should go. They might choose another path later on, but it won’t be for a lack of instruction on the father’s part when they were young.

So, what do you need to do to better model what a relationship with Jesus is all about? How well do you know the Bible and the teachings of Christ? Can you pass on the stories and teachings at appropriate times throughout the day, helping your kids know that Christianity is not just something we do on Sundays? Can you quote Scripture in front of your kids, and challenge them to memorize verses as well? How can you relate the teaching of the Bible to the struggles and situations in their daily lives? Have you set up a time each day to read Scripture, a devotional thought and pray? It’s never too late to get on the right path.