I recently read about this list the 10 transformative insights from the Willow Creek Leadership Summit. The insights are mostly paraphrases from each speaker’s respective talks, with their names in parentheses.
Margin: Make margin and Jesus will throw stuff in. (Bob Goff) Bob made me ask myself if my busyness sometimes hinders Jesus from throwing some really important stuff my way. Or, my busyness causes me to miss what He has already thrown my way.
Perspective: See people for who they are becoming. Jesus called Peter, even with his impulsive nature, the rock upon which the Church would be built. He did not view him as a wuss. (Bob Goff)
Courage: You can either choose courage or comfort. (Dr. Brene Brown) Wow, what a powerful quote.
Leadership: I’ve never told anybody “That’s an order.” (General Colin Powell) This one made me think that if we as pastors must remind others that we are in charge, maybe we aren’t.
Optimism: Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier. (Colin Powell) There’s a lot of brain science that supports this one.
Vision: Every vision God gives you will face resistance. Many visions die a silent death and are aborted because of fear. Visions from God are holy commodities and must be treated as such. You can’t wait for everybody to get it before you move on your vision. (Bill Hybels) If I live for my own generation then my vision will die with that generation. (Oscar Murio)
Staff culture: Staff culture is only as healthy as the senior pastor wants it to be. (Bill Hybels) This statement reminded me that we can’t delegate to somebody else our responsibiity to take the lead to create a healthy staff culture.
Quitting: Some of the most rewarding experiences come late in the marathon of leadership and life. (Bill Hybels) This reminded me that of Peter Drucker’s 39 books (he’s considered the founder of modern management) he wrote 2/3’s of them after his mid-sixties.
Developing others: Multipliers get on average two times more productivity than what diminishers get from their followers. (Liz Wisemen) Perhaps the challenge in growing churches is not simply to hire more staff, but for leaders to hone their skills as multipliers, thus increasing their current staff’s productivity.
Influence: The size of the harvest depends on the number of leaders. Otherwise, my reach of influence will be limited by my capacity. (Oscar Murio) This one challenged me to up my investment in rising leaders.
by Charles Stone of Stonewell Ministries
I suppose that when someone mentions modeling, the image of a too-skinny woman swaggering down a runway might come to mind, but I submit to you that modeling is what we do as Christians. We are to live out what we say we believe.
As a minister of the gospel, and an employee of a local congregation, leadership is a defining quality of whether one is doing a good job or not. I have always believed that if I am to do a good job, I should work myself out of a job; and that involves building up other people.
If you want to be a people builder, you have to start by giving people an example to follow. Paul and Peter wrote about this (Acts 20:35, Philippians 3:17, 1 Thessalonians 1:7, 1 Timothy 4:12, Titus 2:7, 1 Peter 5:3). Leadership begins with you and with how you live. At its most basic level, leadership is about being a model for others.
Why? I believe that you can only take a person as far as you have gone yourself. People can go beyond where you are, but you are not going to be the one leading them there. You can’t teach what has not already impacted you, and has already changed your life.
One problem is that we don’t always know the difference between being a leader and a boss. Dictators demand. Leaders model. You don’t lead by telling people what to do; you lead by example. The Bible says, “Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care but lead them by your good example.” (1 Peter 5:3 NLT)
Jesus never asked anybody to do anything he hadn’t already done, wasn’t already doing, or wasn’t willing to do. The Bible says in John 13:15, “I’ve given you an example to follow. Now do as I have done to you.” Jesus said he did it, now you do it. In this particular case, he had just washed the feet of the disciples and modeled servanthood. Now he expected his followers to do it. He modeled it first.
Application: Men, in what ways are you modeling for others? How are you serving others? How can people follow your lead in different areas of life? Paul gives us five particular characteristics of leadership in 1 Timothy 4:12:
- Speech – How do you talk to people?
- Life – How do you live your life?
- Love – How do you really show love to other people?
- Faith – How do you really trust God?
- Purity – How do you live a life of integrity?
Are you modeling those behaviors for your family? Are you modeling them for our congregation?
Leadership is a choice. The role of the leader doesn’t come automatically when we’re given a title. There are plenty of people in leadership positions who aren’t leaders. But you can be a leader. It starts by making choices that other people choose not to make, and providing an example to others.
Anyone can be a leader; John Maxwell says that leadership is influence. Think of all the people over whom you have influence. Now go lead them.
I saw this today and needed to pass it on. Be warned, I consider this R-rated. I don’t condone any of the ugliness you will see here, but in order to help parents see how their behaviors and attitudes are passed down to the next generation, it is extremely important to view this.
Parent Advisory Warning: this is disturbing video, and there is a vulgar gesture in one part. But if this video disturbs you, then it has been a success. Make changes as needed.
As Christian men and parents, let’s commit ourselves to move toward kindness, love, compassion, patience, peace, forgiveness, tolerance and respect… qualities which are not present in this video. “Don’t be that guy.”
John Maxwell writes about several things about people whom he considers to be great communicators. He was attending a conference and evaluated those who connected and those who did not:
- First: a politician who spoke in monotone, droned on and on, devoid of passion or conviction.
- Second: a another politician who spoke 50 minutes and said absolutely nothing.
- Third: A journalist who spoke down to the audience, feeling superior, making people feel like he knew something the audience did not.
- Fourth: a business book author who spoke with an angry demeanor, with body language, facial expressions and negative attitude.
- Mark Russell: a DC insider with a lot of humor.
- Mario Cuomo: eclectic, others could feel what he felt, he moved the audience.
- C Everett Koop: a master of illustration, with logical arguments.
- Elizabeth Dole: she made everyone feel like they were friends, possessing an easy confidence.
- Steve Forbes: he made everything he talked about sound new.
- Colin Powell: put everyone at ease, gave a sense of security, had a confident demeanor that instilled confidence in others, he gave hope.
What Makes People Listen? We must learn to connect with others by making the most of whatever skills and experience we have.
- Relationships – who you know: Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil made it big because of who they know (Oprah). The audience had confidence in her so they put confidence in the doctors. They possessed borrowed confidence.
- Insight – what you know: most people want to improve their situation in life. When they find someone who can communicate something of value to them, they will usually listen. If you have an area of expertise and generously share it with others, you give people reason to respect you and develop a sense of community with you.
- Success – what you have done: many people will come to hear a speaker for no other reason than because of what they have done in the past. America is a success culture and people will seek out others who can help them along the way.
- Ability – what you can do: those who perform at a high level will gain instant credibility with others. People admire them and want to be like them. Many times they want advice on topics that have nothing to do with their area of expertise. Michael Jordan made more money with endorsements than he did playing basketball.
- Sacrifice – how you have lived: People followed Mother Teresa because she had street cred, she lived out what she preached. If you have made sacrifices, suffered tragedy or overcome painful obstacles, many people will relate to you.
The Art of Connecting:
- Possess Great Confidence: if you don’t teach with confidence, your students will remain unconvinced.
- Exhibit Authenticity: to connect with people you must be yourself, at your best; walking with integrity.
- Prepare Thoroughly: you must be familiar with your topic and lesson. A great connector cannot simply wing it.
- Utilize humor: rare is the communicator who is able to connect with people without using humor. Use stories from your past, or read, or hear.
- Focus on Others: greet all those who come to your class, find out information about them, help them to talk by talking about the subject they know best, themselves.
- Master Speaking and Writing: practice communicating by actually talking to people. Write notes and e-mail to your class, sharing ideas, teaching, encouragement, prayer requests.
Connecting Principle: Connecting is more skill than natural talent.
Key Concept: the skills you learn to connect at one level can be used to start connecting at the next level.
- Have an interest in other people; ask each person questions.
- Place value on that person; and point out their value to others in the group.
- Put their interests above your own; that sounds biblical.
- Express gratitude for that person; in front of other people as well.