Category: Men of Steel

Always on Call

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Christianity is about being “others oriented.” It’s relational. When Jesus called his closest men, they came out of the everyday work life, fishermen, tax collectors, political activists, rather than the religious community. The problem is that not many people in a local church are called to full time vocational Christian service. Men have their careers and need to make a living, and time is valuable to take care of business, family, chores and relaxation. Who has time for people or anything else?

I remember my younger days and looking forward to the future. Automation and machines would make life so much easier that Americans would have shorter work weeks and lots more free time. With the emergence of the computer and the simpler life we’d enjoy from our modern conveniences, our biggest challenge was supposed to be choosing how to spend all this extra time we’d have on our hands.

I look at life today and think, “What a cruel joke.”

Have you ever seen a day when people were this strung out with work demands, longer hours, tighter deadlines, breakneck schedules, and higher expectations? Whatever little time and energy is left at the end of earning a paycheck, running errands, and keeping our homes in working order usually ends up stretched out on the sofa with a cold drink; and then hope that no one will bother us. At this pace, we just don’t have time for people.

Check out what Jesus said to the disciples in Mark 10:35-45. I believe they may have had their own ideas on theology and what pleased God, and basically wanted to follow God on their own terms, as long as Jesus did what they wanted Him to do (Mark 10:35). When we try the same thing, Jesus reminds us that we just don’t know what we are asking for (Mark 10:38). We don’t get it, just like the Twelve. We always think we know best. In our ignorance and selfishness we would never expect the same answer (Mark 10:39). We don’t expect to be treated in the same fashion as Jesus Himself; abused, beaten, misunderstood, homeless, poor and eventually executed. These never make our to-do lists. We (as did the disciples) want to sit at the left and right hand of God, to have a place of honor and comfort, were we belong (Mark 10:37). Problem is that if Jesus did not spare his closest men from hardship, why should we expect anything less?

So what was the specific instruction of Jesus for the disciples? Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve (Mark 10:45). To me, this means that we are to be “others oriented” and always looking for opportunities to serve people. While men are in a vocation in the real world, we have to realize that we are always “on call.” An opportunity arises and the pager goes off, we must decide to do the right thing or to ignore the page. When you’re on call, ignoring a page is not an option.

What an opportunity, then, for men to make the love of Christ stand out in a crowd—every time you forsake the sofa in order to meet a need, serve a brother, or help a neighbor. The sky light is open for us to “shine like stars in the universe” (Philippians 2:15) and see God’s face light up.

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Resolving Old Conflicts

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David was strongly attached to Absalom and he has been absent for three years, but the fear of public opinion made him hesitant to grant him a full pardon. Joab, David’s general, had obviously witnessed David’s irresponsibility toward Absalom long enough and he devised a plan to get David’s attention.

Think about these questions:

  1. How could David long for Absalom. Absalom had killed his other son, Amnon. Why isn’t he mad at him? (2 Samuel 14:1)
  2. What do we learn about God from 2 Samuel 14:14?
  3. What do you think about the whole ruse orchestrated by Joab. What was the point?
  4. How did David know Joab was involved? (2 Samuel 14:19)
  5. If David longed for Absalom, why did he have to be talked into taking him back? (2 Samuel 14:1, 21)
  6. How is the relationship between father and son now? (2 Samuel 14:21, 24, 28, 33)
  7. If you were casting Absalom in a movie, what actor might you choose? (2 Samuel 14:25)
  8. Tamar, we have heard that name before. Who was Tamar? (2 Samuel 14:27)
    There used to be a song called, “We didn’t start the fire.” Who did start the fire? (2 Samuel 14:30) What is the fire about?
  9. Have you heard the adage, “negative attention is better than no attention”? How do you see that demonstrated here? Where have you seen this demonstrated in real life?
  10. Is all better now? (2 Samuel 14:33). There may be forgiveness and reconciliation, but is it all sealed with a kiss?

Let’s look at some details in this chapter:

Joab sets up a story about a woman and her prodigal son (2 Samuel 14:2, 3). It could work; after all, he saw Nathan use a story to get David’s attention back in 2 Samuel 12:1-7.

The woman tells the story (2 Samuel 14:4-7) and David tries to blow her off (2 Samuel 14:8), perhaps David doesn’t want to be blamed for defending a guilty son!

She says that she will take any blame from sparing the son (2 Samuel 14:9). David tells the woman to bring her persecutors before him (2 Samuel 14:10).

The avenger of blood (2 Samuel 14:11) is a specific term identifying the nearest relative of the deceased who would seek to put to death the murderer (Numbers 35:6–28; Deuteronomy 19:1–13; Matthew 27:25).

She mentions that death is irreversible and that God acts in accordance with mercy (2 Samuel 14:14) as in David’s own experience (2 Samuel 12:13), and the king should do the same.

Those who were wanting to kill the woman and her son were like the people David feared whom resented what Absalom had done and would have stood against a pardon for him (2 Samuel 14:15, 16).

David finally gets it (2 Samuel 14:19), that Joab is behind this woman and her story.
Joab is excited that Absalom is coming back, as selfish as his motives really were (2 Samuel 14:22).

While Absalom returned to Jerusalem, the estrangement continued (2 Samuel 14:24, 28). Everything looked good on the outside, but none of it came form the heart. David summoned Absalom to appease him, not to accept him. Absalom wanted David to look him in the eye rather than to beg for forgiveness. He requests an audience with the king, but nothing, he finally sets fire to Joab’s field to get his attention… like acting out, or manipulation of others. It was like Absalom was saying, “accept me or kill me.” By the time David finally received Absalom, (2 Samuel 14:33) his son’s heart had already grown cold and bitter (see chapter 15).

Application Questions:

  1. This story is a story about resolving old conflicts. What could David or Joab or Absalom done to make this better?
  2. Have you known anyone who kept a fire of conflict stoked for decades?
  3. How can we settle old conflicts?

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Ten Leadership Lessons

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I recently read from Chuck Swindoll, and he shared ten life and leadership lessons woth passing on.

  1. It’s lonely to lead.
  2. It’s dangerous to succeed.
  3. It’s hardest at home.
  4. It’s essential to be real.
  5. It’s painful to obey.
  6. Brokenness and failure are necessary.
  7. My attitude is more important than my actions.
  8. Integrity eclipse image.
  9. God’s way is always better than my way.
  10. Christlikeness begins and ends with humility.

God Making Mistakes?

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I was reading a blog recently and the author posed this question, “Have you ever felt like God made a mistake?”

Well, the Bible does record that He was sorry for ever creating mankind in the first place (Genesis 6:6-7, see also Exodus 32:14, 1 Samuel 15:11, Jeremiah 26:3). Sin sorrows God who is holy, blameless and without sin (Ephesians 4:30), so don’t sorrow Him by the way we live. The Lord’s sorrow does not indicate an arbitrary change of mind, though it seems that way to man. Rather, it indicates a different attitude on God’s part in response to some change in man’s behavior. Because He is holy, He must react against sin. The description “was sorry” expresses God’s change of action (Genesis 6:7) in terms understandable to man. God would no longer be longsuffering with such widespread wickedness. Sin impacts the work which the Spirit does (Ephesians 4:30).

Back to the question, “Have you ever felt like God made a mistake?” That is how the Israelites felt with the Egyptian army breathing down their necks and the Red Sea staring them in the face (Exodus 14:2, 3, 9, 10). Here’s the kicker: God led them there. From a military standpoint, they should not have been there. They have no escape route. They couldn’t retreat or advance. It seems like God has made a mistake, and the Israelites let Moses know about it. But God had them right where he wanted them.

Sometimes God leads us to a place where we have nowhere to turn but to Him, and that is often the last place we want to be. But it’s the best place to be. Here is the great irony: all of us want to experience a miracle, we just don’t want to be in a situation where it is needed. Sometimes you need to be between the Pharaoh and the Deep Red Sea so God can reveal more of His glory (Exodus 14:4).

We often know what to do, but we cry out to God anyway. God’s response to Moses was, “Why are you crying out to Me? Tell the people to get moving.” (Exodus 14:15). Just when you think God has made a mistake, He parts the water (Exodus 14:16).

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Family Secrets

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This is a story of a dysfunctional family, passive parenting, sexual sin and cover up, revenge and murder; all the great stuff movies are made of, but this is real life for the family of David, found in 2 Samuel 13. Amnon rapes his half-sister, Tamar. Absalom avenges Tamar (his full sister) and flees to his maternal grandfather’s home. Then later, David permits Absalom to return to Jerusalem but bars him from the palace. David eventually meets with Absalom and is reconciled to him for a time.

Here are a few points or lessons that men are able to take away…

  1. We need to keep our sons away from, or at least discourage them from choosing “friends” that are no good for them, or will offer them poor advice (2 Samuel 13:3, 5).
  2. We need to walk the walk, because Absalom followed in his father’s footsteps; ploting to kill another person, and even bringing in other people to do our dirty work (2 Samuel 13:28).
  3. We need to protect out daughters from worthless men, and stand up for them when they have been wronged (2 Samuel 13:7, 20, 21).
  4. We need to spend time with our sons to get to know them and guide them in life (2 Samuel 13:5, 6), perhaps David did not spend much time even when he seemed to visit Amnon regularly.

Questions for your Consideration:

  • Whom did you consult regarding your love life back in school?
  • What was some of the worst advice, or best advice?
  • From what you know of blended families, what complicated love-hate relationships could occur?
  • How are blood ties stronger than anything else that binds a family?

The Main Characters in Our Story:

Tamar – A daughter of David raped by her half brother, Amnon (2 Samuel 13:14). The act was avenged by her full brother, Absalom, when he had Amnon murdered (2 Samuel 13:28, 29). These acts were part of Nathan’s prophecy that the sword would never depart from David’s house (2 Samuel 12:10).

Amnon – meaning, “trustworthy, faithful.” He was the firstborn son of King David (2 Samuel 3:2). He raped his half-sister Tamar. Tamar’s brother Absalom avenged this outrage by killing Amnon (2 Samuel 13:1-20). This incident marked the beginning of the decline of David’s family following his adulterous relationship with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah.

Absalom – meaning, “father of peace.” He was the third son of King David, who rebelled against his father and was murdered by Joab, David’s commander (2 Samuel 3:3; 13–19). Absalom apparently resented being ignored by his father and resented his brother Ammon going unpunished for raping Tamar, Absalom’s full sister. Being overindulged and ambitious, Absalom became the spokesman for the people (2 Samuel 15:1-6). They, in turn, gladly proclaimed him king in Hebron (2 Samuel 15:10), where David was first crowned (2 Samuel 2:4). Battle ensued. David left Jerusalem and sent his army to find Absalom but not to hurt him (2 Samuel 18:5), but Joab murdered him (2 Samuel 18:14). David’s lament over Absalom shows the depth of a father’s love over the loss of a son as well as regret for personal failures which led to family and national tragedies.

A few chapters from now, we will be reading of Absalom’s rebellion, civil war, and eventual death. As you read this passage look for how it all started.

Questions for Class This Sunday:

  1. How were Amnon, Tamar and Absalom related?
  2. How do you account for Amnon’s “lovesickness” regarding Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1-4)?
  3. At first blush, does this strike you as innocent “puppy love,” perverted, or what?
  4. Did Amnon have a choice as to whether or not to fall in love with Tamar?
  5. What advice does Jonadab offer to woo Tamar (2 Samuel 13:5)? Summarize Amnon’s scheme for getting Tamar?
  6. What was he thinking? What kind of good out come could he have possibly imagined?
  7. How does David unknowingly collaborate in the charade (2 Samuel 13:6-7)?
  8. Had David been visiting with Amnon regularly (2 Samuel 13:5)?
  9. Why did Amnon seek to deceive his father? How was Tamar’s statement about David (2 Samuel 13:13) a rebuke to this?
  10. What was Tamar’s suggestion? Was it a good one?
  11. How did attraction turn to hatred so quickly (2 Samuel 13:15)?
  12. Why does Tamar refuse to be banished (2 Samuel 13:16)? What greater wrong has she just experienced (Deuteronomy 22:28, 29)?
  13. How do you think Absalom knew (2 Samuel 13:20)?
  14. How does Absalom react to his sister’s rape, now (2 Samuel13:20) and two years later (2 Samuel 13:23, 28)?
  15. How does David respond? What did he feel? What did he do (2 Samuel 13:21)?
  16. Why does he not do what any self-respecting king and father would have done? Why did David do nothing but get angry? What should he have done (Leviticus 20:17)?
  17. Was it right what Absalom did?
  18. What did David do about what Absalom did?
  19. What character flaw in David do you see from this story? How might David’s character and credibility have been compromised (2 Samuel 11:4, 15, 12:9, 10, 11)?
  20. What can hyper-passivity cost us?
  21. Why do we sometimes slip into passivity when we need to take action?

Personal Meaning from This Lesson:

  • When someone wrongs you or someone close to you, what is your typical reaction? Does your reaction look more like that of David, Tamar or Absalom?
  • In what ways have you been impacted by sexual sins in the past (yours or another’s)?
  • How have you managed to control the damage? Forgive the sinner? To be forgiven?
  • Who have you ended up hating when you started out loving? How do we account for this total and sudden reversal in the relationship?
  • How can you be more reconciled with this person in your past?
  • As a parent, how do you evaluate your present example for future generations?
  • How do you identify with “David the dad” in this passage?

If We Have Time:

  1. How did Absalom arrange for Amnon’s death?
  2. Why does Absalom ask David, his officials and his sons to join him (2 Samuel 13:23, 24, 25)?
  3. Why was sheep-shearing a big event (1 Samuel 25:7, 8)?
  4. If you were David or Amnon, would you be suspicious of Absalom’s invitation (2 Samuel 13:26, 27)?
  5. Why is revenge still on Absalom’s mind? What is significant about the timing (“two years later” or when “he was in high spirits”)?
  6. What do you think of his tactics? How parallel are these tactics like Amnon and Jonadab two years earlier?
  7. Over whom was David mourning after the first report (2 Samuel 13:30)? The second report (2 Samuel 13:32, 33)? The third report (2 Samuel 13:35)?
  8. Where does Absalom go (2 Samuel 13:37, 3:3)? What might he get from his grandfather that he dare not ask for from his father?

Application:

  • How has conflict affected your family and relatives? What long-term grudges have taken their toll on your family?
  • With whom are you not on good speaking terms right now?
  • How can you bury the hatchet instead of using one?
  • From what hurts do you feel like running away? Where would you go?

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Do Men Have Emotional Needs?

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First off, let’s check out what King David wrote in Psalm 22:14 that his heart melted like wax in the most inner places of his body / soul.

Have you ever asked yourself, “What’s the harm in keeping my fears and my emotional needs to myself?” Well, it’s because that which you use to hide your fears and emotional needs from others will eventually become your prison. It will lock you up, freeze you up, bottle you up… the bottom line is that it will keep you from moving toward possessing all that God has for you in your life.

  • Some men turn to alcohol or drugs—in an effort to hide themselves from their fears and emotional needs.
  • Some turn to porn or prostitutes—they won’t trust their wives with their emotions, but they’ll trust a total stranger with their bodies, their potential, and their reputations.
  • Some turn to overwork—putting all of their energy into the job and “burning the midnight oil”—in an effort to avoid the need to relate to people.

Eventually, each of these “escapes” becomes a prison. It traps you even further into a cycle of secrecy, because once men are trapped by their particular escape mechanism, they won’t tell anybody about that trap either. Your fear only grows greater as your silence grows deeper.

The fact is, God created men with emotions. He created men with a need to feel, to touch, to express, to have an emotional outlet and release. Look at most any little boy… he is free to express himself, to vent his feelings, to hug and kiss and be hugged and kissed in return. He hasn’t yet learned to hide. Adam was hiding when God called to him; which turned out to be a learned response (Genesis 3:10).

  • What happened to you on your way to becoming a man?
  • Where are you?
  • What caused you to feel that you need to run and hide?

There’s another man behind the mask we put up.

  • He needs to be touched just as much as the next guy.
  • He needs to be held.
  • He needs to hear loving words, spoken in a gentle way.

Don’t deny your emotional needs. David wasn’t afraid to admit to himself and to God that he was weak, afraid, sorrowful, angry, or in need of love. He even said that his heart melted like wax (see Psalm 22:14). In fact, the entire twenty-second psalm is filled with emotion. It is a psalm of David, but it mirrors the experience of Christ’s crucifixion.

The Bible says Jesus was a man “who in the days of his flesh … offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears” (Hebrews 5:7.) Jesus was a man who knew how to express His emotions.

  • Tell God you need Him.
  • Tell Him you love Him.
  • Tell Him you are in trouble in your life.
  • Tell Him where you ARE.

Answering God's First Question

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God called to Adam and asked him, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9) and here’s how the first man answered the first question that God had asked him: “I heard… I was afraid… I was naked… I hid.” (Genesis 3:10).

Most men don’t like open confrontation. I have known some physically big and powerful men who were afraid to go home to their five-foot-two-inch wife because they knew they would be facing a confrontation with her the minute they walked in the door.

Many men come across to their wives and children as being fearless, but the fact is, men are very afraid of themselves and of being confronted with who they really are. We know what is deep down inside. Men rarely face themselves because they really don’t know who they are or where they are—and I think they are afraid that somebody might discover the darkness that they secretly know is inside them.

Men tend to talk very easily about things that don’t really matter; seems most of us clam up when the talk turns to the things that matter the most. So we hide.

Here is the nature of relationships: you can’t have a relationship with someone if you are hiding from them.

  • Not a relationship with God.
  • Not a relationship with your wife.
  • Not a relationship with your child.
  • Not a relationship with the guy who stands next to you in the church service.

Relationships are built when we stop hiding and honestly face ourselves, and then allow ourselves to become vulnerable and open with other men. It doesn’t happen in a large group like a church service, but in small groups. That is why our small group ministry is so important.

A man sometimes acts as if he can’t hear, or as if he hasn’t heard, but the fact is, he heard—he what was said but just didn’t like what he heard.

  • He heard his wife when she said she needed more time, attention, or consideration.
  • He heard his kids when they complained that Dad wasn’t around very much.
  • He heard his daughter when she said, “I love you, Daddy,” and he heard her sigh when Daddy didn’t say anything back.

He ran and hid emotionally because he didn’t know how to give to other people what they needed. It is a cruel fact of life that we cannot pass on that which we do not possess: not leadership, compassion, integrity, confidence, love or peace.

A man who is afraid and doesn’t know what to do is a man who feels exposed, naked if you will. He will go to great lengths to hide himself…

  • To bury himself in his work
  • To get involved in an affair that doesn’t require any vulnerability on his part
  • To put up a brick-wall facade around his heart to hide his true emotions.

So men end up afraid, frustrated, whimpering inside, locked up, and impotent. And all the while, they are doing everything they can to cover up their inner feelings and emotional inadequacies.

Truth requires that you open up and share who your really are and where you really are. It requires an honest answer to God’s question, “Where are you?” rather than an excuse rooted in our own fear.

Did That Just Happen?

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Men, if you’re like me, you catch the news fairly regularly.  Then perhaps you’ve heard about or seen Kanye West’s wildly inappropriate outburst at the MTV Video Music Awards. This is not what you would call a great career move, but I guess the silver lining for Kanye is his honorable mention in the Urban Dictionary for September 17 (be warned that the language on that site is appalling):

Imma let you finish [eye-ma-let-yoo-fin-ish]:

1. Obnoxious way to interrupt someone and steal their moment, while wryly mocking that media train wreck that is Kanye West.

Based on West’s instantly infamous interruption of Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards for Best Female Video with his insane microphone-stealing shout out to Beyonce.

Bob: Thank you Mr. Brown for having us in to give this sales presentation. We’d like to talk to you today about…

Alfred: Yo, Bob, I’m really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but I just got to say our product is one of the best products there is!

I guess West did let Taylor finish…sort of, but the cool part was the moment Beyonce recognized Swift and gave her a chance to have her moment of glory.

Have you ever been completely and rudely interrupted? I’m thinking that most of us can relate, but how about being interrupted during an extremely important moment in your life by someone who obviously doesn’t care about you or your mission at that moment?

Think about it…have you ever stopped to take time to pray, and suddenly your thoughts are bombarded with anxiety or unpleasant memories? Or have you planned your devotional time to read the Bible, and suddenly the phone rings, or you remember something you just have to take care of first? What about sharing the gospel with someone and then other people start cutting into the conversation which distracts this person from hearing the best message on earth?

This is not a coincidence…we have an enemy (Satan, meaning, the adversary) who is completely dedicated to stopping any efforts on your part to connect with God, like through prayer and reading the Bible, and he is literally hell-bent on halting even a single word about Jesus Christ from escaping your lips.

Just check out a few descriptions of this from God’s Word:

    1. Satan, who leads the whole world astray… (Revelation 12:9).
    2. Satan disguises himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14).
    3. We wanted very much to come to you, and I, Paul, tried again and again, but Satan prevented us (1 Thessalonians 2:18).

      See what I mean? Satan just sits back and waits until you try to take the stage for Jesus Christ, then he jumps in and steals your microphone and your chance to glorify God.

      Oh get this – Satan doesn’t let you finish.

      Here’s the great news though. If you can see an interruption coming, you can usually prevent it or ignore it. When you know that spiritual disturbances are headed your way whenever you try to connect with God or share the gospel of Jesus Christ, you can be more prepared.

      First, recognize the interruption for what it is and take it to God. That way, what Satan meant for evil will actually focus your thoughts more on God! Pray something like: “Father, I know that what’s happening right now is an attempt to keep me from connecting with you. Please help me keep my thoughts and spiritual eyes focused only on You.”

      Second, resist Satan, and you can be sure of this promise: Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you (James 4:7-8).

      Here’s the way The Message version of the Bible puts it: Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time.

      Finally, refuse to give up. When you stop praying, you miss out on God’s peace and blessing. When you stop reading the Bible, you lose out on God’s truth and strength. And when you stop sharing the gospel, you trash the opportunity to lead someone to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

      Bottom line: stay the course, connect with God, read His word, and share your faith. Refuse to be interrupted and never give up. On Judgment Day, God will call you back on stage and you’ll hear the words from Jesus that are more valuable than any earthly praise: “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master” (Matthew 25:21). Now that is how you should finish.

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      Where Are You, Really?

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      After hearing the Game Plan for Life conference on September 12, I could not help but think about the overall underlying issue that permeated the event… do men of today really know who they are? So let’s get personal. Are you in touch with where you are? How you feel? Have you faced your faults? Do you know your great assets?

      In Genesis 3:9, we find God asking an interesting question. When God called to Adam in the Garden of Eden, He wasn’t trying to find Adam. God knew where Adam was because no one can hide from God. I think that God wanted Adam to admit where he was. He wanted Adam to recognize fully who he was and what he had done.

      One of the most important questions you can ever ask yourself is, “Where am I in my life?” Men get into trouble when they don’t know where they are.

      When we hide, we turn phony. We act out a charade and put on a mask and participate in our own masquerade. Only two things are worse than being phony with other people; it’s being phony with yourself and being phony with God.

      If you haven’t faced up to who you are and what you have done, you will find it very difficult to enter into genuine praise and worship. I suspect that you’ll also find it very difficult to relate to other men, or to your wife and children.

      Until you face up to your flaws and failures (openly admitting them to yourself and to God, accepting the fact that you aren’t perfect) you’ll never be able to allow other people to know, much less accept, your imperfections. If you aren’t open to that kind of accountability, you will always feel cut off, estranged, isolated, lonely, deprived, and alienated from other people.

      Many men spend a lot of time and energy asking about the other men around them, “Where are they?”

      • What does that man have that I don’t have to get that kind of woman?
      • What does that man do to be able to afford that kind of car and live in that kind of house?
      • How is it that HE has that kind of job and authority and power?
      • Why does God bless HIS ministry since he is really not that impressive?

      These are all variations of asking, “Where are they?” The answer to that question leads to a dead end. It results in jealousy, competition, hatred, distrust and suspicion, all of which result in a murderous attitude (remember what happened in the story of Cain and Able – Genesis 4:3, 4, 5, 8). Peter had a similar jealousy with John. After hearing about a difficult destiny for himself, Peter asks Jesus, “Lord, and what about this man?” (John 21:21-22).

      Instead, ask yourself, “Where am I?” That’s the question that can lead to life. That’s the question that will lead us all to repentance before God, to an ability to get close to other people, and to fulfillment and true satisfaction in life.

      Joe Gibbs challenged us to be in touch with the Head Coach, to interact with other players, and to get to know the Playbook. You might be in the first half, or at halftime, or maybe late in the fourth quarter, but it’s time to know who you are and where you stand in the game of life.

      Another Moral Failure?

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      Over the past month, I have come across a couple of articles written by pastors reacting to a moral failure in a fellow pastor. My first reaction was disbelief. Leaving the theological and moral arguments aside, what pastor who is doing his job even has time for adultery?

      I read Chuck Swindoll just this morning, regarding occupational hazards in the ministry. He warns against four “occupational hazards” that can easily bring down people who serve the public as God’s representatives… silver, sloth, self and sex.

      Trace the reasons great men and women have fallen… search for the common threads in the tapestry of tragedies. You will find most often a breakdown in the realm of personal morality.

      It’s important for us to remember that a moral breakdown never occurs suddenly. It comes about slowly, almost imperceptibly, like a slow leak in one of your tires. Some things are tolerated that were once not allowed. We lose the edge… we begin to slip… we shrug it off and smile instead of facing the truth. Time passes. By and by, sneaky acts of disobedience slip in, but because they are hidden and rationalized, we deny how far we’ve drifted.

      It’s a slow fade into darkness. None of us would have this destination on our itinerary. Swindoll continues:

      Some time back I came across an excellent list of questions a small group of men regularly asked one another. Read the questions slowly. I think you’ll agree that they are on target.

      1. Have you been with a person of the opposite sex this week in an inappropriate way?
      2. Have you been completely above reproach in all your financial dealings this week?
      3. Have you exposed yourself to any sexually explicit material this week?
      4. Have you spent time daily in prayer and in the Scriptures this week?
      5. Have you fulfilled the mandate of your calling this week?
      6. Have you taken time off to be with your family this week?
      7. Have you just lied to me?

      Before you pass over it too quickly, answer each one for yourself. If you do it often, it will help you avoid the four pitfalls. All of them are addressed in those questions.

      Men of Steel, the statistics are against us; in America…

      • Ten out of ten of us are struggling with how to balance work and family.
      • Nine will have children that will leave the church.
      • Five will have a serious problem with pornography.
      • Four will get divorced; affecting over one million children.
      • Only one has a biblical worldview.

      We are in a battle for our souls, for our marriages, for our purity, for our children, for our integrity, for our witness in the world. Don’t let the enemy have a foothold in your life and don’t give the devil an opportunity (Ephesians 4:27). Don’t allow Psalm 69:2 to become a reality in your life.

      My Sunday Bible study lesson from this past week was about David and how he walked down the pathway of heartache with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11). So on Saturday, let’s discuss where David went wrong.

      1. He was not where he was expected to be – 2 Samuel 11:1 (he was at home rather than in battle)
      2. He put himself in a vulnerable position – 2 Samuel 11:2 (he got up from his bed, opening himself to boredom and temptation).
      3. He failed to protect himself with a network of accountability – 2 Samuel 11:1, 4 (answering to no one; he grew accustomed to wanting and getting).
      4. He was lonely and made a plan, rather than falling into sin.
        • Sinned in thought – 2 Samuel 11:2
        • Sinned in word – 2 Samuel 11:3
        • Sinned in deed – 2 Samuel 11:4
      5. Could Bathsheba have prevented this from happening? This is a moot point to a man who is out of control.

      I look forward to seeing you all on Saturday at 7:30 in the Welcome Center, and then several of us are going to the Game Plan for Life with Joes Gibbs, randy Alcorn, Tony Evans and Ravi Zacharias, leaving at 8:30.

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