Category: Men of Steel

A Father's Blessing, Part 1

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Have you ever considered the biblical practice of “the blessing?” Authors Smalley and Trent wrote a book about it called, The Blessing, which is the industry standard on the topic. We can go back to Genesis 27 to see how it was used. Jacob stole this older brother’s blessing (Genesis 27:1-29) and then Esau comes to get his blessing, only to find out it was taken (Genesis 27:30-38). When the blessing is withheld, notice how Esau responds (Genesis 27:34, 38). He was not an emotional, fragile, feminine man. He was a hunter, fisherman and gamesman; I’m thinking like Jeremiah Johnson.

How did the Father communicate His blessing to Jesus? Matthew 3:16-17 is a fine example, He expressed words of affirmation; the Father spoke openly of his pleasure in the Son. Not a bad example for us today. Here is a brief list of what Smalley and Trent teach about how to bless our children:

Meaningful Touch (Genesis 27:26-27): Jacob is 40 years old or more and his daddy is kissing him? Yes. There is a healing, affirming and nurturing dimension to appropriate physical touch in the home. Men, we need to show love by your actions, but don’t leave this out. It may be uncomfortable for you, but think of your kids. Jesus blessed children as well, by bringing them close and touching them (Mark 10:13-14, 16).

Spoken Words (Proverbs 18:21, 12:18, 15:4): A blessing is not a blessing until it is spoken. The tongue has the power to give life or destroy. Let’s speak words of affection (like, I love you), or words of reconciliation (like, I’m sorry, I was wrong, forgive me), or words of vision (like, you’re going to do something great with your life, you’re going to make a difference), or words of security (like, you’re mine, and you’re special, helping them to sense God created them for a purpose). Don’t withhold your words (Proverbs 3:27).

Affirming Your Child’s Value (Genesis 27:27, 28, 29): What happened after Isaac kissed Jacob? Yes, he smelled him, but what did that (and the words that followed) mean? It was like daddy was saying, “Do you know what I think of when I think of you, my son? I think of a field with grain growing. I hear birds singing. I see sun shining. You’re in the middle of the field, tall and strong.” It’s like a word picture; it takes a little creativity, but you can do it. Use an everyday object and then match the emotional meaning of the trait you are praising to the object you’ve picked.

Picturing a Special Future (or Spiritual Vision) (Genesis 27:28): May God give you… basically, spiritual transformation, like a metamorphosis. Where do you see you child when they get older? Wonderful verses of blessing are Psalm 127:3-5, Jeremiah 24:7

Active Commitment (to a Prosperous Vision) (Genesis 27:29): They would be the master of their opposition, their role in life, their finances… and not the reverse. Present your children being blessed to the Lord.

A few final questions… Can you trust God with your most treasured possession? Can you commit your children to their best interest (Proverbs 22:6)? Do you understand their particular bent? Have you become a student of your child? Do you know their friends, activities: do you know their heart? Try asking yourself these questions about your kids:

  • What do they most often daydream about?
  • When they think of their years as a young adult, what would they really enjoy doing?
  • Of all the people they have studied in the Bible, who is the person they would most like to be like? Why?
  • What do they believe God wants them to do?
  • What type of boy/girlfriend are they most attracted to?
  • What is the best/worst part of their school day?

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Only 40 Days to Live

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At the Men’s Breakfast last weekend, Terry Rae, Executive Director of Africa for Christ, gave a challenging talk, hitting the hearts of men. He asked a blunt question, “What would you do if you knew you had only 40 days to live?” I thought a hard sell evangelistic message was on the way, but I really appreciated the insight he shared directed toward men. He pointed our attention to Jesus, between his resurrection and his ascension… 40 days, and what Jesus did with the time he had left.

Jesus expressed love to people: he found Mary at the tomb and expressed love for her and the others. She did not recognize him at first; she thought he may be the gardener (John 20:14-16). How often do we not see those around us who are in need of an encouraging word, a thoughtful deed, or a random act of kindness? Men need to express love to those around them, especially to your wife and children. Rae said that the essence of love is giving. If we open our hearts to God’s love, then we will be able to receive it and share it with others.

Jesus healed broken relationships: Peter had denied Jesus in the temple courtyard, something he strongly denied he would ever do. Once the predicted event happened, Peter was in turmoil over what he had done (Matthew 26:33-34). After the resurrection, Jesus finds the disciples fishing and invited them to the shore for a little breakfast in Galilee. Peter was asked if he loved Jesus, three times, and he was able to be restored into good relationship with his Savior (John 21:15, 16, 17). What relationships do you have in our life that need extra attention and reconciliation?

Jesus left a memory box: As the two men were on the road to Emmaus, Jesus caught up to them and asked the topic of their discussion. They did not recognize Jesus all day, until the time of the evening meal, when Jesus took the bread and blessed it. Then they recognized their guest to be Jesus. The memory box was the Lord’s Supper, to be done as often as we remember the sacrifice of Christ (Luke 22:19, 1 Corinthians 11:24, 25). It is a memorial. For men, husbands and fathers… what will you leave to your family? What legacy are you building in your children? For what will your family remember of you after you’re gone? May I recommend a letter? This summer I intend to challenge each of us to become letter-writers; one each to your wife, children, parents and finally one to be left behind when you leave this world. I’ll share more about writing letters this spring.

Jesus spoke about the kingdom: He had a message of life after death, and he spoke about declaring this message throughout the whole world… it is called the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20, Acts 1:8). We must also ask how we are personalizing this final word of Christ, and how we might help others to understand the reality of the Christian faith.

Jesus paid out debts: On a spiritual level Jesus sacrificed himself in order to bring salvation to a lost and dying world (2 Corinthians 5:20-21). Practically, how can we make sure what we leave behind to our family is debt free? I dare say this will also involve sacrifice of our personal desires for more toys and pleasures. We need to also pass on to our kids the passion to stay out of debt… a worthy goal having been through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University! (see Proverbs 22:6, 7)

Next time I intend to address the issue of a father’s blessing on his children. Have a great week, our next get together is on Saturday, March 27 at 7:30.

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American Men in Need

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It doesn’t take much to see that American men are in crisis. There’s little peace at home, no satisfaction in work, feelings of uselessness and discouragement are commonplace. The cry of the preacher (teacher) in Ecclesiastes sounds very familiar to us:

“Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!” What do people get for all their hard work under the sun? … I devoted myself to search for understanding and to explore by wisdom everything being done under heaven. I soon discovered that God has dealt a tragic existence to the human race. I observed everything going on under the sun, and really, it is all meaningless—like chasing the wind. (Ecclesiastes 1:2-3, 13, 14)

I found a good description of what seems to be happening to American men, husbands and fathers.

American men are confused. They’re confused over what it means and doesn’t mean to be a man. Every ten years, the model changes. For a while it was the John Wayne “tough guy.” Then it was the James Bond “womanizer.” Then the Phil Donohue “sensitive male.” Then the Michael Douglas “Wall Street climber.”

American men are friendless. The average man over thirty-five doesn’t have one close friend he can call in the middle of the night.

American men are sexually addicted. With the Internet making this addiction private, men spend more and more time in front of the computer staring at touched-up images of “perfect” women. And Christian men haven’t escaped this addiction.

American men are emotionally isolated. When asked what he’s feeling, the average guy will say either “good” or “bad.” The problem is, neither of these is a feeling. Men struggle with identifying and expressing their emotions in a healthy manner. Most funnel every emotion through anger. So whether they’re sad, scared, frustrated, fearful, or joyful, they still kick the cat when they get home.

American men are searching spiritually. In the midst of this gloomy picture of men, one thing is true: They’re looking for something beyond themselves to make sense out of the world they live in and the problems they face. For this reason, men need a place they can go to deal with life’s issues. They desire a place of safety and refuge where they can be who they are and accepted as they are. In his book, Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them, John Ortberg says that we’re all born with a tag on us that reads, “As Is.”

Lowes has a great slogan, “Let’s Build Something Together.” Building is in the male DNA, something indicates our quest, and together is what the church is all about. Men don’t have to go through this life searching all alone. There are answers to a better marriage, help in raising our kids and finding satisfaction at work. The Home Depot used to tell us that, “You can do it, we can help.” King’s Grant stands here with that same offer! That’s what King’s Grant and the Men of Steel can become, a Home Depot for men; encouraging, equipping, training, leading, reaching, uniting, practicing, impacting and sharing life together, for the kingdom’s sake.

A Warning From the Past

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During the Exodus, Moses and the children of Israel escaped the slavery of the Egyptians. As they traveled toward the Promised Land, they witnessed a lot of miraculous things.

  1. God parted the waters of the Red Sea and the Egyptian army was wiped out.
  2. God guided them with a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night.
  3. God directed their path as Moses was out in front of them, leading.
  4. God provided food to eat; manna from heaven and water from a rock.

They were surrounded by unmatched privileges. God was constantly in their presence. His working in their midst was evident. In fact, I think these people should have been the epitome of godliness, if for no other reason than out of gratitude for what God had done for them, but they weren’t. The apostle Paul wrote about these people, “Yet God was not pleased with most of them, and their bodies were scattered in the wilderness” (1 Corinthians 10:5). As they journeyed from Egypt to the Promised Land, they played games with their lives and with their God.

I believe this is dangerous business.

Just what happened to God’s own people? What caused their bodies to be scattered in the wilderness? Paul tells us the reason for their tragedy and downfall, “The people celebrated with feasting and drinking, and they indulged in pagan revelry” (1 Corinthians 10:7). Many of you were in college; doesn’t this sound like a fraternity party?

What was the real problem? I submit to you that:

  1. They lost their sense of wonder and awe in God’s presence.
  2. They lost their wonder; the supernatural became commonplace.
  3. They were good at God-talk (which was plentiful), but they lacked a reverence and respect for God.
  4. They became calloused to the divine.
  5. They became indifferent in their values.
  6. They compromised their religious beliefs.
  7. They forgot their heritage.
  8. They were apathetic about spiritual matters and God’s Law.
  9. They did not mean business with God.
  10. They had a relationship with God that became a farce.

Never in the history of the world has one country been so blessed. Sound familiar? Now take a look at America. We are inundated with churches, Christian radio and television programs, Christian magazines and books, Christian schools, Christian conferences and seminars. Never has the potential for religious instruction been so prominent. Our churches should be overflowing with godly men and women intent on fulfilling the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20) and the Great Commandment (Matthew 22:36-40). We cannot blame it on the government for taking God out of the public school; remember that we are the ones who should be salt and light in the world, making a difference in our society.

But are we? All too often, Christians walk down the same paths of carnality as these ancient Israelites. Non-believers can’t tell the difference between church people and anyone else in society. We make light of what we should honor. We wink at that which we should weep. We play with what we should take quite seriously. And our families suffer the effects of our shallow faith.

The children of Israel serve as a warning to every believer. Heed the warning of Paul who tells us that God was not pleased with them. Pleasing God should be the desire of each follower of Christ, to please the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). Let’s take God seriously.

Remember God's Faithfulness

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Memories of God’s miracles and faithfulness sustained Israel through its difficulties. The Israelites knew that God was capable and trustworthy. Hear the message of this Psalm:

My voice rises to God, and I will cry aloud (Psalm 77:1)

In the day of trouble I sought the Lord, and my soul refused to be comforted (Psalm 77:2)

When I remember God, then I am disturbed (Ps 77:3) An odd statement but it makes sense when it points to Psalm 77:7-9, he had feelings that God had rejected him, God was angry with him, God stopped loving him, that God would not keep His promises.

I am so troubled that I cannot speak (Psalm 77:4)

I grieve over God’s change of heart concerning me (Psalm 77:10)

Life is hard: work, the economy, kids, marriage, and so many times we feel like God is nowhere to be found. When it seems like God is MIA, perhaps we can have the same action plan as the psalmist, we should remember.

But then I recall all you have done and remember your wonderful deeds of long ago. They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works. (Psalm 77:11-12)

What God is like our great God? You work wonders and have demonstrated your strength (Psalm 77:13-14)

God has the power to redeem His people (Psalm 77:15)

Remember the details of the defining moment when God came through (Psalm 77:16-20), for Israel, it was the deliverance from Egypt.

When you meet new trials in your life, review how good God has been to you, and this will strengthen your faith. In your thoughts today, go back to the main time when came came through for you. Remember what He did, and have hope for the future.

Keep the Son in your eyes, -Scott

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Cultivating Courage

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Men are supposed to be brave. We are supposed to be like Jack Bauer (on the TV show 24), willing to step up when the need arises, no matter what the cost, no matter what the pain, just because the mission is more important than any personal comfort or safety. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it is essential.

Courage makes a good theory, but sometimes we need help to practice it. We have many opportunities each day to step out of our comfort zone to serve God. When we don’t have courage, we need to be reminded of God’s promise in 2 Timothy, and we need others’ encouragement to take the leap of faith.

Perhaps you need someone to tell you: Volunteer for that job at church because they need you. Teach that class. Have lunch with your co-worker to discuss matters of faith. Maybe you should join that small group, or the Men of Steel. Remember the mission that Christ gave to us, to make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20). First we seek the lost (Luke 19:10), because God is seeking true worshipers who will worship Him in spirit and in truth (John 4:23).

We recently read the book of Esther, which tells a story of love, sacrifice, and God’s timing. Mordecai, a Jew in exile, refused to bow to Haman, second in command to King Ahasuerus. Haman became furious and plotted to destroy Mordecai and all the Jews. So Haman deceived the king and persuaded him to issue an edict condemning the Jews to death. When Mordecai told his cousin Queen Esther about the edict, he urged her to intervene. “Who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” he said (4:14). Approaching the king uninvited was punishable by death. But Esther seized the moment to save her people!

When we are able to rescue others, we should do so at all costs. Ask God for His direction and act! He may have placed you here “for such a time as this.”

Be courageous for Jesus. Be obedient to the point of risk. Sometimes it takes just that first step of courage to serve our wonderful Savior.

Erwin McManus has something to say about courage.

Try these steps for size:

  1. Identify your calling.
  2. Identify your fears.
  3. Consider how your fears will thwart your calling.
  4. Consider the authority of Christ over your fears.
  5. Trust God’s ability rather than your limitations.
  6. Decide whether you want a life of compliance or rebellion.
  7. Always choose obedience in the face of fear.
  8. Join forces with others of similar calling.
  9. Remind yourself that God’s side wins.
  10. Embrace the adventure of a life of significance.

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Teaching Values to Our Kids

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Did you know that parents are the most valuable tool when it comes to teaching values to children? I used to think that the way you taught values was to sit your kids down and talk to them about values. But I was wrong. Our children constantly see us living out our values and they learn their values from us whether we want them to or not!

As missionaries in Zambia, Kim, Stephen and I took a trip to Harare, Zimbabwe for a little holiday. It used to be a great place to enjoy a nicer restaurant, catch a movie, visit a game park, stuff like that. It was good to get away together as a family. One day we saw that a sequel to a movie we enjoyed in the States came to a downtown theatre. It was Disney’s White Fang 2, and we saw the rating was PG-13, for some unreasonable African reason. In a moment of weakness and selfishness, we lied about Stephen’s age (he was 11 at the time). Our rationalization was that it was a Disney film and we knew better. You know what? I taught more about values in that single action than in all of our father-son chats through the years. I grieved the situation later that day, and even today called Stephen to apologize for that poor example of integrity.

As parents we must get our own values right and then live by those values, because our children will quickly learn our values in action. How does it happen? They learn the value of prayer when they see you kneeling in prayer instead of coming apart at the seams when you face a crisis. They learn the value of fidelity when they see their parents remain faithful to each other even in tough times. They learn the value of honesty by seeing their parents remain honest even in the tough times. Parents are the tools of God to teach values to children. So live wisely – you’re being watched!

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Outsourcing Our Faith

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Brian Mosley, president of BluefishTV, had an interesting article about our living in the age of outsourcing. We pay someone to change our oil, cook our food, care for our yard, clean our clothes and anything else we don’t want to do. And of course we’ve all read the news reports of companies outsourcing business needs to countries around the world. So, he asks, “Is it possible that we are outsourcing our faith?”

We live in a consumer-driven culture that tells us that the customer is number one. The customer is always right. I can have it my way. I deserve the best. Consumerism has also crept into the church and turned church members into customers. The church exists to serve me and my family. To meet my needs. To feed me spiritually. To provide relationships for me. I dare say, to entertain me?

Brian goes on to ask, how many people put their money into an offering plate with the thought that “I have done my part, now it’s up to the church staff (professional Christians) to take care of the rest.” I pay them to tell me what the Bible means, to organize programs for my kids, to run evangelism and outreach projects to reach non-believers … to ______________ (fill in the blank with whatever product or service you think the church should provide).

Mosley also gives five reasons a business outsources and how the church might be doing the same with our faith:

1. Cost Savings
It’s costs me time and energy to study the Bible, serve others and be a disciple. If the pastor will do the heavy lifting, then I can save some of this time and energy for other things I enjoy doing.

2. Focus on Core Business
The pastor’s core thing is ministry. Mine is work and caring for my family. It will work best if we both stick to our core business.

3. Improve Quality
I am not really qualified to do ministry. I haven’t been to seminary or Bible college and my knowledge of the Bible isn’t great. I should leave real ministry to the professionals.

4. Risk Management
Ministry is messy. To really get engaged in ministry could lead to rejection, heartache and additional work to my already busy life. I’d rather not risk it.

5. Tax Benefit
The most measurable way for me to minister is to give money. It’s trackable and the more I give, the more I can claim as a deductible to the IRS.

Have you ever felt like this? How can we turn this around? How can we challenge people toward higher levels of commitment to Christ and His church? As Rick Warren wrote in his Purpose-Driven Life, “It’s not about you.” So, how can we help church members understand that the church exists for those who are not yet a part of the church? We are here to serve, and not to be served (Mark 10:45). We are not to be conformed to this world, but must be transformed (Romans 12:2). Don’t be normal, stand out.

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When Rebellion is a Good Thing

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Rebellion occurs when oppression reaches a level that we can no longer tolerate in good conscience. It occurs when our vision for extraordinary living is more compelling than our urge for comfort and status quo. Materialism, toys and pleasure numb us while distraction and apathy work on us from the inside. Complacency will not help us to fight the good fight of faith (1 Timothy 1:18, 6:12).

It’s tough to live in America. With all the comforts, conveniences and choices, you may think I’ve lost my mind, but stay with me for a little bit. Those of use who have made a commitment to Christ, who have voluntarily chosen to follow Jesus as one of his disciples, who have chosen the narrow path over the lure of the wide and broad way (Matthew 7:13-14), we understand that our walk with Christ and our mission in the world are much more important than anything on this planet. We exist for a different purpose than the world around us. In everything we do, we seek to bring honor and glory to the God of our salvation (1 Corinthians 10:13, Colossians 3:17). The world desires to squeeze us into its mold, but we are to be transformed by the renewal of our minds (Romans 12:1), and this can happen only through the power of God.

We need to be rebellious enough to go against the current culture in America. Culture expects us to be sex-crazed, power-hungry, domineering, lovers of money, success, women, fortune and fame. Our culture tells us, “If it feels good, do it,” and to climb the ladder of success one rung at a time, no matter what the cost. Men all across the country have sacrificed their marriages, children and souls for temporal success, pleasure, comfort, fame or fortune. The one who has come to Christ has a new desire, mainly to be set free from the slavery of sin, its power and its consequences. Success must be redefined as faithfulness and integrity, rather than by the neighborhood in which we live, the club to which we belong, or the BMW in the driveway.

Are you someone who is disillusioned with pop culture and half-hearted Christianity? Would you consider partnering with God to change His world? The rebellion of which I speak is for those who are intensely passionate about Jesus and are determined to live a life of purpose. We must have a nothing-is-impossible mindset. Jesus is not meek and mild, but mighty and wild!

Consider these top 10 reasons to join me in this rebellion:

  1. You are intensely passionate for Jesus and His kingdom.
  2. You really want to live a life of eternal significance.
  3. You resent the apathy that derails many of Jesus’ followers.
  4. You’re willing to swim against today’s social currents.
  5. You know God is already stirring your heart for action.
  6. You’re looking for tools to empower your purpose.
  7. You want to live out God’s ancient wisdom in a relevant way.
  8. You desire to experience God and invite others into that experience.
  9. You’re absolutely dedicated to Christ’s lordship in your life.
  10. You’re ready to move in the power and authority of God.

Is this the anthem for the Men of Steel? Can we be radical and rebellious for the cause of Christ, changing the world, one man at a time?

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Real Men Show Up in the Snow

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Churches have made the tough call on whether to hold services these past two weekends, due to the unusual snow storms in our area. While far from what the rest of the country may be going through, six inches of snow at the beach is unusual… good thing that the area is pretty flat! Our concern was for our people who could get involved in a car accident or even slip in our parking lot. So, we also made adjustments to our meeting schedule.

But real men can make it through the snow and do what needs to be done! Check out this story of Benaiah, one of David’s mighty men (2 Samuel 23:20).

There was also Benaiah son of Jehoiada, a valiant warrior from Kabzeel. He did many heroic deeds, which included killing two champions of Moab. Another time, on a snowy day, he chased a lion down into a pit and killed it. Once, armed only with a club, he killed a great Egyptian warrior who was armed with a spear. Benaiah wrenched the spear from the Egyptian’s hand and killed him with it. — 2 Samuel 23:20-21

This was a tough guy. Notice that he not only was a valiant warrior on the battlefield, but he went down into a pit to kill a lion… on a snowy day. Snow does not stop real men from doing what needs to be done.

Isn’t it funny how some people will call in to work and say they can’t come in due to the snow, but it always seems that people can leave work in the snow and make it home?

As men, you understand the need to do whatever it takes to provide for your family (1 Timothy 5:8), but do not neglect the need to feed your spirit, and grow in Christ (Ephesians 4:13, 14, 15). You are not the man that God intends for you to be if you are not leading your family in becoming fully devoted followers of Christ (Matthew 22:36-40). Think about ways you personally lead your family in “knowing Christ and making Him known?”

Speaking of snow and the weather (and perhaps chasing a rabbit), it’s been a crazy winter weather these past two weekends, especially when you hear the global warming alarmists still making the case how the planet is doomed because mankind is causing the earth to heat up. I believe that we are to be good stewards of the planet and its resources, that we should not pollute our water and air, but if we really believe that God is the sustainer of life and the universe (Colossians 1:17), we should not be alarmists with a political agenda. We should simply promote good conservation and environmental awareness. But what is a Christian to do in this age of political activism?

There is a difference between the biblical view of the environment and the political movement known as “environmentalism” (I wrote something on Earth Day a couple of years ago). Understanding this difference will shape our view of global warming. The Bible is clear that the earth and everything in it was given by God to man to rule over and subdue (Genesis 1:28). Because we are created in God’s image, He gave men and women a privileged place among all creatures and commanded them to exercise stewardship over the earth (Genesis 1:26-28; Psalm 8:6-8). Stewardship implies caretaking, not abusing. We are to intelligently manage the resources God has given us, using all diligent care to preserve and protect them.

In my recent Bible in 90 Days reading, I see this in the Old Testament where God commanded that the fields and vineyards would be sown and harvested for six years, then left fallow for the seventh year in order to replenish the soil’s nutrients, both to rest the land and to ensure continued provision for His people in the future (Exodus 23:10-11; Leviticus 25:1-7).

But are too many people on the earth causing a problem, resulting in polar ice caps to melt and coastal areas to be wiped out? Perhaps it is more of a management problem. God has placed on this planet everything needed to feed, clothe, and house the billions of people who have lived on it since the Garden of Eden. Most all the resources God has provided for our needs are renewable, and He continues to provide the sun and rain necessary to sustain and replenish those resources.

At the same time, the earth we inhabit is not a permanent planet, nor was it ever intended to be. The environmental movement is consumed with trying to preserve the planet forever, and we know this is not God’s plan. He tells us in 2 Peter 3:10 that at the end of the age, the earth and all He has created will be destroyed. The physical, natural earth in its present form, with its entire universe will be consumed and God will create a “new heaven and a new earth” (2 Peter 3:13; Revelation 21:1).

Seems to me that rather than trying to preserve the earth for thousands or even millions of years, we should be good stewards of it for as long as it lasts, which will be as long as it serves God’s sovereign plan and purpose.

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