Category: Men of Steel

What Do You Hate?

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I grew up learning that we aren’t supposed to hate. The word “hate” gets lumped in with other 4-letter words we aren’t supposed to say. There are prohibitions on hate speech, and there is legislation making the punishment for hate crimes more severe, and don’t forget that Jesus emphasizes how much we are supposed to love (they will know we are Christians by our live – John 13:35). The Bible give us plenty of things to hate, for instance…

  1. Job hated his life (Job 3:11, 10:18-19)
  2. Job believed that God hated him (Job 16:9)
  3. Psalm 97:10 instructs us to hate evil.
  4. Proverbs 13:5 tells us to hate lies.
  5. According to Malachi 2:16, God hates divorce.
  6. Psalm 5:5 tells us that God also hates those who do wrong.

Think about what Proverbs 6 outlines for us… “six things that God hates, seven are an abomination to Him:”

  1. Haughty eyes
  2. Lying tongue
  3. Hands that shed innocent blood
  4. A heart that devises wicked plans
  5. Feet that run rapidly to evil
  6. A false witness, and
  7. One who spreads strife

Six things or seven? I’d have to explain Hebrew poetry; but that is for another time. These seven detestable sins provide a profound glimpse into the sinfulness of men, and act as a summary of the previous warnings in Proverbs 6:12-14.

It appears that God is passionate about our avoiding sinful activity. A common question that any pastor, counselor or motivational speaker loves to ask is, “What are you passionate about?” Many times that question is met with blank stares because we don’t know how to properly identify our passions.

Some people seem passionate about everything from American Idol to Jesus, while others find it safer to stay neutral and not express passion for anything. Can we accomplish anything great for the kingdom with such a casual attitude? It is important to find out how God has wired us, or what “spiritual gift” the Holy Spirit has given us.

A spiritual gift is something that allows us to do the ministry of God with a certain ease and effectiveness. The idea is to find out what we are good at, and seek ways to exercise that gift for the benefit of God’s kingdom. We are designed to serve others, not to simple sit and soak in the church.

Here’s a great site to explore the topic and discover your own spiritual gift.

Maybe a simpler way to discover our passions is from the perspective of hate. What do you hate? What kind of holy hatred has God given you for things that aren’t right in the world around you? Then we can look around and see what can be done to make positive change in our community and the world.

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A Model for Christianity

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The other Sunday I was able to give a message on unleashing the superhero inside you, and the main text was from Luke 10:30-37, the parable of the Good Samaritan. I mentioned that each person in the room would identify with one character in the story, perhaps a couple of characters at different points in life. We are to be good stewards of the life that we have been given, so what are these four attitudes that we can have?

The certain man – “What’s mine is mine if I can keep it.”

The corrupt men – “What’s yours is mine if I can take it.”

The clergy men – “What’s your is yours and you can keep it.”

The committed man – “What’s mine is yours if your have it.”

Rather than go into the details of these four, I believe that the parable of the Good Samaritan is a great model for living as a Christian, so let’s take a look at him for a moment. It’s a familiar story. Jesus tells this story in response to the question “who is my neighbor?” Here’s the summary of the story. A man is robbed and left by the side of the road. Two people pass him by without helping. Finally the Good Samaritan walks by and is the example to follow in Jesus’ story.

What if Christians followed this model for being a neighbor to the world around them? What do we need to make such a positive impact on our community?

Alert eyes (Luke 10:33) – As this man traveled, he saw him. This certain man is going about his daily routine, not on a mission trip or a service project or a church event. His eyes are scanning his surroundings looking for where God is at work and desires to join God in what He is doing. The Samaritan doesn’t have his iPod on tuning out the world and thinking only of himself.

Compassionate heart (Luke 10:33) – After he saw the man in need, he felt compassion for him. His heart was filled with concern, empathy, and kindness. He was selfless. God was at work before this moment of crisis to prepare the Samaritan’s heart to not be cold and distant, but to be warm and open.

Quick feet (Luke 10:34) – The Samaritan went to him; his feet took him closer to where there was a need. He didn’t just care from a distance, or send money to help the injured man; he was willing to get close, to take a risk, to interrupt his busy schedule, to go out of his way. He didn’t just say, “I’ll pray for you brother.” His encounter was an up close and personal.

Active hands (Luke 10:34) – Wounds were bandaged, the injured was brought along with him, and the Samaritan cared for hi. This Samaritan guy was willing to get his hands dirty as he bandaged the wounded man. Can you imagine tending to the wounds of a stranger?

Focused on others (Luke 10:34) – He put the injured man on his own beast, giving up his contented seat for the sake of the man in need. The Samaritan left his comfort zone. Paul tells us to consider the needs of others more than ourselves (Philippians 2:3-4).

Giving time (Luke 10:35) – The Bible says “The next day…” This was not simply a brief encounter at one point in time; the Samaritan followed up to make sure the injured man was cared for. He would even follow up on the return trip.

Generosity (Luke 10:35) – To top it all off, he was generous with his money by paying for the man to stay at the inn, and even for the innkeeper to take care of the injured man.

That’s Jesus’ definition of a neighbor. What if Christians lived each day with alert eyes, compassionate hearts, quick feet, active hands, focusing on others, giving time with a generous attitude?

Being a Better Man

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Gentlemen, perhaps you have seen the movie, As Good As It Gets, which has a scene where Jack Nicholson gives Helen Hunt “a compliment.” He fumbles around telling a disjointed story about how his “shrink” tells him about some pills, that if he is willing to take (which he HATES!) will improve his demeanor and personality for her. As he struggles to explain himself to her and her annoyance with him grows (because she does not understand how his story is a compliment for her), he finally says to her, “You make me want to be a better man.” (Check the video of the week).

So guys, I wonder, what is it that makes you want to be a better man? Is it…

  1. Your children
  2. Your wife
  3. Your frustration with work
  4. The addiction or habit that is kicking your tail
  5. Your appreciation for God’s mercy, protection, or provision on your life
  6. Your identification with Paul’s statement, “I am chief among sinners.” (1 Timothy 1:15)

We may have different motivations to want to be a better man, and the world may sell you all sorts of solutions for “better manhood,” but, the only true way to become a “better man” is to be on a journey with Jesus Christ. This journey with Christ isn’t easy. There are many distractions. It’s difficult to stay focused on that journey without the help of other men. That’s why Solomon told his sons, “As Iron Sharpens Iron so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17).

That’s why the Men of Steel exists. That’s why I write an encouraging word each week. That’s why on April 24th we are going to the Iron Sharpens Iron Conference in Richmond. Hundreds of men will be blessed and will begin or continue living as “better men” because they’ve chosen to walk with Christ and/or made connections with men and resources that can help them on their journey.

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A Father’s Blessing, Part 2

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All of chapter 49 of Genesis records the individual blessings Jacob gave his sons. Each one is an example of a father’s careful observation of his son’s character and potential.

“These are the twelve tribes of Israel, and this is what their father said as he told his sons good-bye. He blessed each one with an appropriate message.” Genesis 49:28

Blessings were serious business in Old Testament families. What about today? Could we make a huge impact on our children if we made it a point to voice a parental blessing as part of our regular family life? Authors Gary Smalley and John Trent have written extensively on this subject and their books have a lot of practical suggestions.

One change we can make in our family thinking is to expand the way we treat occasions like birthdays, graduations, holidays, weddings, and other special events. How can we add to these occasions an intentional moment of blessing? Can we find a way to include an “appropriate message” and if so, where can we start?

Some blessings involve tangible gifts (that’s probably where the idea of giving gifts originated), but most blessings are precious, thoughtful and truthful words. A parent’s heart speaks into his or her child’s heart. We often subconsciously attempt to do this by the cards we choose to give. We find one with a message that seems to “fit” how we feel or what we see in our child. These messages can become blessings.

I read about a father who decided that he wanted to influence his kid’s lives on the occasion when each one left home. In his case one left for the military and the other two left for college. In the days before each child’s departure he wrote a small note where he told them it was his “wallet blessing.” On the paper he wrote out his observations regarding their character qualities, his hopes for their future, and a verse of Scripture that reminded him of them. He gave them with little fanfare; and in the middle of all their departure details, he wasn’t sure if the notes had made any impact.

Almost a decade after giving out these blessings, he asked his sons about the notes during a lunch together. Each boy immediately produced his note from his wallet. One had a Xerox copy because the original had gotten worn from use. The men shared a bonding moment around the table that day. Blessings make a difference in our kids’ lives. They are valuable expressions of a loving parent’s heart.

This summer I intend to introduce a letter writing process called, “Letters from Dad” where we will write four intentional letters; one to our wife, children, parents and one for after we depart this world. I hope to include dozens of men from the church and our friends in the community. Imagine the impact we can have on our families.

Then in the fall, we will have a special emphasis called, “To Save a Family.” There are a lot of great things happening at KGBC, hold on for a wild ride.

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A Father's Blessing, Part 1

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Have you ever considered the biblical practice of “the blessing?” Authors Smalley and Trent wrote a book about it called, The Blessing, which is the industry standard on the topic. We can go back to Genesis 27 to see how it was used. Jacob stole this older brother’s blessing (Genesis 27:1-29) and then Esau comes to get his blessing, only to find out it was taken (Genesis 27:30-38). When the blessing is withheld, notice how Esau responds (Genesis 27:34, 38). He was not an emotional, fragile, feminine man. He was a hunter, fisherman and gamesman; I’m thinking like Jeremiah Johnson.

How did the Father communicate His blessing to Jesus? Matthew 3:16-17 is a fine example, He expressed words of affirmation; the Father spoke openly of his pleasure in the Son. Not a bad example for us today. Here is a brief list of what Smalley and Trent teach about how to bless our children:

Meaningful Touch (Genesis 27:26-27): Jacob is 40 years old or more and his daddy is kissing him? Yes. There is a healing, affirming and nurturing dimension to appropriate physical touch in the home. Men, we need to show love by your actions, but don’t leave this out. It may be uncomfortable for you, but think of your kids. Jesus blessed children as well, by bringing them close and touching them (Mark 10:13-14, 16).

Spoken Words (Proverbs 18:21, 12:18, 15:4): A blessing is not a blessing until it is spoken. The tongue has the power to give life or destroy. Let’s speak words of affection (like, I love you), or words of reconciliation (like, I’m sorry, I was wrong, forgive me), or words of vision (like, you’re going to do something great with your life, you’re going to make a difference), or words of security (like, you’re mine, and you’re special, helping them to sense God created them for a purpose). Don’t withhold your words (Proverbs 3:27).

Affirming Your Child’s Value (Genesis 27:27, 28, 29): What happened after Isaac kissed Jacob? Yes, he smelled him, but what did that (and the words that followed) mean? It was like daddy was saying, “Do you know what I think of when I think of you, my son? I think of a field with grain growing. I hear birds singing. I see sun shining. You’re in the middle of the field, tall and strong.” It’s like a word picture; it takes a little creativity, but you can do it. Use an everyday object and then match the emotional meaning of the trait you are praising to the object you’ve picked.

Picturing a Special Future (or Spiritual Vision) (Genesis 27:28): May God give you… basically, spiritual transformation, like a metamorphosis. Where do you see you child when they get older? Wonderful verses of blessing are Psalm 127:3-5, Jeremiah 24:7

Active Commitment (to a Prosperous Vision) (Genesis 27:29): They would be the master of their opposition, their role in life, their finances… and not the reverse. Present your children being blessed to the Lord.

A few final questions… Can you trust God with your most treasured possession? Can you commit your children to their best interest (Proverbs 22:6)? Do you understand their particular bent? Have you become a student of your child? Do you know their friends, activities: do you know their heart? Try asking yourself these questions about your kids:

  • What do they most often daydream about?
  • When they think of their years as a young adult, what would they really enjoy doing?
  • Of all the people they have studied in the Bible, who is the person they would most like to be like? Why?
  • What do they believe God wants them to do?
  • What type of boy/girlfriend are they most attracted to?
  • What is the best/worst part of their school day?

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Only 40 Days to Live

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At the Men’s Breakfast last weekend, Terry Rae, Executive Director of Africa for Christ, gave a challenging talk, hitting the hearts of men. He asked a blunt question, “What would you do if you knew you had only 40 days to live?” I thought a hard sell evangelistic message was on the way, but I really appreciated the insight he shared directed toward men. He pointed our attention to Jesus, between his resurrection and his ascension… 40 days, and what Jesus did with the time he had left.

Jesus expressed love to people: he found Mary at the tomb and expressed love for her and the others. She did not recognize him at first; she thought he may be the gardener (John 20:14-16). How often do we not see those around us who are in need of an encouraging word, a thoughtful deed, or a random act of kindness? Men need to express love to those around them, especially to your wife and children. Rae said that the essence of love is giving. If we open our hearts to God’s love, then we will be able to receive it and share it with others.

Jesus healed broken relationships: Peter had denied Jesus in the temple courtyard, something he strongly denied he would ever do. Once the predicted event happened, Peter was in turmoil over what he had done (Matthew 26:33-34). After the resurrection, Jesus finds the disciples fishing and invited them to the shore for a little breakfast in Galilee. Peter was asked if he loved Jesus, three times, and he was able to be restored into good relationship with his Savior (John 21:15, 16, 17). What relationships do you have in our life that need extra attention and reconciliation?

Jesus left a memory box: As the two men were on the road to Emmaus, Jesus caught up to them and asked the topic of their discussion. They did not recognize Jesus all day, until the time of the evening meal, when Jesus took the bread and blessed it. Then they recognized their guest to be Jesus. The memory box was the Lord’s Supper, to be done as often as we remember the sacrifice of Christ (Luke 22:19, 1 Corinthians 11:24, 25). It is a memorial. For men, husbands and fathers… what will you leave to your family? What legacy are you building in your children? For what will your family remember of you after you’re gone? May I recommend a letter? This summer I intend to challenge each of us to become letter-writers; one each to your wife, children, parents and finally one to be left behind when you leave this world. I’ll share more about writing letters this spring.

Jesus spoke about the kingdom: He had a message of life after death, and he spoke about declaring this message throughout the whole world… it is called the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20, Acts 1:8). We must also ask how we are personalizing this final word of Christ, and how we might help others to understand the reality of the Christian faith.

Jesus paid out debts: On a spiritual level Jesus sacrificed himself in order to bring salvation to a lost and dying world (2 Corinthians 5:20-21). Practically, how can we make sure what we leave behind to our family is debt free? I dare say this will also involve sacrifice of our personal desires for more toys and pleasures. We need to also pass on to our kids the passion to stay out of debt… a worthy goal having been through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University! (see Proverbs 22:6, 7)

Next time I intend to address the issue of a father’s blessing on his children. Have a great week, our next get together is on Saturday, March 27 at 7:30.

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American Men in Need

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It doesn’t take much to see that American men are in crisis. There’s little peace at home, no satisfaction in work, feelings of uselessness and discouragement are commonplace. The cry of the preacher (teacher) in Ecclesiastes sounds very familiar to us:

“Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!” What do people get for all their hard work under the sun? … I devoted myself to search for understanding and to explore by wisdom everything being done under heaven. I soon discovered that God has dealt a tragic existence to the human race. I observed everything going on under the sun, and really, it is all meaningless—like chasing the wind. (Ecclesiastes 1:2-3, 13, 14)

I found a good description of what seems to be happening to American men, husbands and fathers.

American men are confused. They’re confused over what it means and doesn’t mean to be a man. Every ten years, the model changes. For a while it was the John Wayne “tough guy.” Then it was the James Bond “womanizer.” Then the Phil Donohue “sensitive male.” Then the Michael Douglas “Wall Street climber.”

American men are friendless. The average man over thirty-five doesn’t have one close friend he can call in the middle of the night.

American men are sexually addicted. With the Internet making this addiction private, men spend more and more time in front of the computer staring at touched-up images of “perfect” women. And Christian men haven’t escaped this addiction.

American men are emotionally isolated. When asked what he’s feeling, the average guy will say either “good” or “bad.” The problem is, neither of these is a feeling. Men struggle with identifying and expressing their emotions in a healthy manner. Most funnel every emotion through anger. So whether they’re sad, scared, frustrated, fearful, or joyful, they still kick the cat when they get home.

American men are searching spiritually. In the midst of this gloomy picture of men, one thing is true: They’re looking for something beyond themselves to make sense out of the world they live in and the problems they face. For this reason, men need a place they can go to deal with life’s issues. They desire a place of safety and refuge where they can be who they are and accepted as they are. In his book, Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them, John Ortberg says that we’re all born with a tag on us that reads, “As Is.”

Lowes has a great slogan, “Let’s Build Something Together.” Building is in the male DNA, something indicates our quest, and together is what the church is all about. Men don’t have to go through this life searching all alone. There are answers to a better marriage, help in raising our kids and finding satisfaction at work. The Home Depot used to tell us that, “You can do it, we can help.” King’s Grant stands here with that same offer! That’s what King’s Grant and the Men of Steel can become, a Home Depot for men; encouraging, equipping, training, leading, reaching, uniting, practicing, impacting and sharing life together, for the kingdom’s sake.

A Warning From the Past

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During the Exodus, Moses and the children of Israel escaped the slavery of the Egyptians. As they traveled toward the Promised Land, they witnessed a lot of miraculous things.

  1. God parted the waters of the Red Sea and the Egyptian army was wiped out.
  2. God guided them with a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night.
  3. God directed their path as Moses was out in front of them, leading.
  4. God provided food to eat; manna from heaven and water from a rock.

They were surrounded by unmatched privileges. God was constantly in their presence. His working in their midst was evident. In fact, I think these people should have been the epitome of godliness, if for no other reason than out of gratitude for what God had done for them, but they weren’t. The apostle Paul wrote about these people, “Yet God was not pleased with most of them, and their bodies were scattered in the wilderness” (1 Corinthians 10:5). As they journeyed from Egypt to the Promised Land, they played games with their lives and with their God.

I believe this is dangerous business.

Just what happened to God’s own people? What caused their bodies to be scattered in the wilderness? Paul tells us the reason for their tragedy and downfall, “The people celebrated with feasting and drinking, and they indulged in pagan revelry” (1 Corinthians 10:7). Many of you were in college; doesn’t this sound like a fraternity party?

What was the real problem? I submit to you that:

  1. They lost their sense of wonder and awe in God’s presence.
  2. They lost their wonder; the supernatural became commonplace.
  3. They were good at God-talk (which was plentiful), but they lacked a reverence and respect for God.
  4. They became calloused to the divine.
  5. They became indifferent in their values.
  6. They compromised their religious beliefs.
  7. They forgot their heritage.
  8. They were apathetic about spiritual matters and God’s Law.
  9. They did not mean business with God.
  10. They had a relationship with God that became a farce.

Never in the history of the world has one country been so blessed. Sound familiar? Now take a look at America. We are inundated with churches, Christian radio and television programs, Christian magazines and books, Christian schools, Christian conferences and seminars. Never has the potential for religious instruction been so prominent. Our churches should be overflowing with godly men and women intent on fulfilling the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20) and the Great Commandment (Matthew 22:36-40). We cannot blame it on the government for taking God out of the public school; remember that we are the ones who should be salt and light in the world, making a difference in our society.

But are we? All too often, Christians walk down the same paths of carnality as these ancient Israelites. Non-believers can’t tell the difference between church people and anyone else in society. We make light of what we should honor. We wink at that which we should weep. We play with what we should take quite seriously. And our families suffer the effects of our shallow faith.

The children of Israel serve as a warning to every believer. Heed the warning of Paul who tells us that God was not pleased with them. Pleasing God should be the desire of each follower of Christ, to please the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). Let’s take God seriously.

Remember God's Faithfulness

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Memories of God’s miracles and faithfulness sustained Israel through its difficulties. The Israelites knew that God was capable and trustworthy. Hear the message of this Psalm:

My voice rises to God, and I will cry aloud (Psalm 77:1)

In the day of trouble I sought the Lord, and my soul refused to be comforted (Psalm 77:2)

When I remember God, then I am disturbed (Ps 77:3) An odd statement but it makes sense when it points to Psalm 77:7-9, he had feelings that God had rejected him, God was angry with him, God stopped loving him, that God would not keep His promises.

I am so troubled that I cannot speak (Psalm 77:4)

I grieve over God’s change of heart concerning me (Psalm 77:10)

Life is hard: work, the economy, kids, marriage, and so many times we feel like God is nowhere to be found. When it seems like God is MIA, perhaps we can have the same action plan as the psalmist, we should remember.

But then I recall all you have done and remember your wonderful deeds of long ago. They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works. (Psalm 77:11-12)

What God is like our great God? You work wonders and have demonstrated your strength (Psalm 77:13-14)

God has the power to redeem His people (Psalm 77:15)

Remember the details of the defining moment when God came through (Psalm 77:16-20), for Israel, it was the deliverance from Egypt.

When you meet new trials in your life, review how good God has been to you, and this will strengthen your faith. In your thoughts today, go back to the main time when came came through for you. Remember what He did, and have hope for the future.

Keep the Son in your eyes, -Scott

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