Tag: Addiction

Everyone Needs Recovery

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I’ve been thinking about how our church might better reach into the neighborhood, what needs to we see? Marriages need to be strengthened, kids are involved in recreational drugs, pornography attacks half of the male population (according to the national average)… what is a church to do in order to impact our community with the gospel?

The Home Run movie came out on April 19 this year, and I sense THIS is the next wave of hands-on help that can make life transformation practical and possible for so many people.

Here is some introductory research into that which Celebrate Recovery is based:

The Eight Principles of Recovery:

1.   Realize I’m not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. — Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.  (Matthew 5:3)

2.   Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover. — Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. (Matthew 5:4)

3.   Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control. — Happy are the meek. (Matthew 5:5)

4.   Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust. — Happy are the pure in heart. (Matthew 5:8)

5.   Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects. — Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires. (Matthew 5:6)

6.   Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others. — Happy are the merciful. Happy are the peacemakers. (Matthew 5:7, 9)

7.   Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.

8.   Yield myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and by my words. — Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires. (Matthew 5:10)

The Twelve Steps with Biblical Comparison:

1.    We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable. — I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. (Romans 7:18)

2.    We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. — For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. (Philippians 2:13)

3.    We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God. — Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. (Romans 12:1)

4.    We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. —  Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD. (Lamentations 3:40)

5.    We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. — Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5:16)

6.    We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. — Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:10)

7.    We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings. — If we confess our sins, he is faithful and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

8.    We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. — Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:3 1)

9. We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. — Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24)

10.   We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. — So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! (1 Corinthians 10.12)

11.   We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out. — Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. (Colossians 3:16)

12.   Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. — Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself or you also may be tempted. (Galatians 6:1)

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National Porn Sunday

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Statistics says that pornography use is rampant in America, and the American church is not exempt. It is sort of the elephant in the pew. Take a look at this:

  1. Men admitting to accessing pornography at work-20%
  2. U.S. adults who regularly visit Internet pornography websites-40 million
  3. Promise Keeper men who viewed pornography in last week-53%
  4. Christians who said pornography is a major problem in the home-47%
  5. Adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction-10%
  6. Breakdown of male/female visitors to pornography sites is 72% male & 28% female
  7. Internet Pornography Sales-$4.9 billion
  8. Pornographic websites-4.2 million (12% of total websites)
  9. Pornographic pages-420 million
  10. Daily pornographic search engine requests-68 million (25% of total search engine requests)
  11. Daily pornographic e-mails-2.5 billion (8% of total emails)
  12. Internet users who view porn-42.7%
  13. 89% of porn is created in the U.S.
  14. $2.84 billion in revenue was generated from U.S. porn sites in 2006
  15. Over $3k a second is spent on porn worldwide.
  16. 72% of porn viewers are men.
  17. 260 new porn sites go online daily.

Source: www.XXXchurch.com

National Porn Sunday – Super Bowl Sunday, February 6

I’ve been thinking about this event, King’s Grant has outreach Super Bowl parties scheduled, but what if the Men of Steel took this farther?

Over 300 churches throughout the country have taken part in Porn Sunday. This is the chance to bring hope to those who are struggling with pornography. For some it is ludicrous to link three X’s with church and for others it is long overdue. The one undeniable truth that can’t be ignored is the blatant push for all things sexual in our society. Porn Sunday seeks to drive the conversation about pornography into our churches, families and lives. This weekend service brings healing to those sitting in churches who are caught up in pornography.

F.A.Q’s

  1. Will this prepare my church to have accountable relationships? Yes.
  2. I don’t know if my church is ready for this yet. Take a risk. The freedom and healing for the people in pew is worth it.
  3. Can I use the kit just as a resource for my congregation? Yes.
  4. Doesn’t the title and approach trivialize a serious topic? It actually does the opposite. People will laugh a little but in the end they will walk away equipped to deal with a tough issue in their lives.
  5. Why is an elephant the mascot? Porn is the elephant in the pew. The thing everyone wants and needs to hear from the church on, but continually does not.
  6. Will the press show up at my church? Maybe. If you send out a press release (included) and promote the weekend well.
  7. Will some people in my church not understand why we are addressing this issue? Yes, but a few should not hold us back from helping the majority.
  8. Isn’t pornography a men’s only issue and be dealt with at a mens breakfast? Definitely not. There are women who struggle greatly with pornography and also there are women who need to hear a message of hope because their husbands are in way too deep.
  9. What age group is PornSunday appropriate for? Middle school and up appropriate. The average age a child sees pornography is age 11.

A Word from XXXchurch.com

The reality is that as men we all struggle. And for some it’s an overwhelming struggle with pornography. We know where to find porn and we know how to keep it hidden. In our culture the line has been blurred on what is porn. The magazines, TV and the Internet put it right in front of us every day of our lives.

It is time to make some decisions. What are we doing with all the junk that is coming at us? Consume it, get in way over our heads or are we going to live for things that are greater? There is a point in which we have to acknowledge that what we keep hidden from our wives, girlfriends, children and even closest friends we are not proud of. The question is simply will you live a life that is transparent?

At the core of consuming porn is selfishness. I will get my fix. No one will know. It is my secret. It is what I do in private. My dad did it. Everyone does it and I am going to as well.

Porn is a fantasy designed to do one thing, keep you completely to yourself. It is a lie. Porn tries to tell you what sex should feel like and look like. Porn will destroy the relationships around you. You will pull away from reality because of this dirty little secret. As you consume porn, it becomes your life and you will eventually lose control to addiction. Stop now. Be done with it all. Change today because there are much greater things than porn to give your time, money and energy to.

Next Steps:

1. Confess
Go before God with everything. Confess your struggles through prayer. He already knows it all anyway, right? You have to put all your junk out on the table and acknowledge that you can’t handle it anymore-you need God. You cannot handle it on your own.

2. Get Accountable
Find someone in your life that you trust and let him or her in on your struggles. Such as a close friend, pastor or family member. You are not alone. You are not supposed to deal and carry this on your own. God has placed people around you that will walk with you as you move toward freedom. As men we naturally want to keep it all to ourselves. It it is time to own up to those closest to you.

Download XXXchurch’s free accountability software X3watch. It’s simple and completely free. This software monitors what is accessed online and sends a report of any questionable websites to your accountability partners e-mail addresses.

Download X3watch – www.x3watch.com.

3. Clean It Up
Throw away the porn stash. Delete it all. Literally get rid of the things that are tripping you up. It is time to break that pattern of the things that make you stumble, the things you go right back to.

Maybe you need to cancel your cable or internet altogether, move the computer out of the basement to the kitchen or get a filter on your computer. Take solid action steps toward moving away from your places of struggle. The process of cleaning it up is continuous and will not happen overnight. Define the specific situations you struggle and take tangible steps to eliminate those places from your life.

Source: www.XXXchurch.com

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American Men in Need

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It doesn’t take much to see that American men are in crisis. There’s little peace at home, no satisfaction in work, feelings of uselessness and discouragement are commonplace. The cry of the preacher (teacher) in Ecclesiastes sounds very familiar to us:

“Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!” What do people get for all their hard work under the sun? … I devoted myself to search for understanding and to explore by wisdom everything being done under heaven. I soon discovered that God has dealt a tragic existence to the human race. I observed everything going on under the sun, and really, it is all meaningless—like chasing the wind. (Ecclesiastes 1:2-3, 13, 14)

I found a good description of what seems to be happening to American men, husbands and fathers.

American men are confused. They’re confused over what it means and doesn’t mean to be a man. Every ten years, the model changes. For a while it was the John Wayne “tough guy.” Then it was the James Bond “womanizer.” Then the Phil Donohue “sensitive male.” Then the Michael Douglas “Wall Street climber.”

American men are friendless. The average man over thirty-five doesn’t have one close friend he can call in the middle of the night.

American men are sexually addicted. With the Internet making this addiction private, men spend more and more time in front of the computer staring at touched-up images of “perfect” women. And Christian men haven’t escaped this addiction.

American men are emotionally isolated. When asked what he’s feeling, the average guy will say either “good” or “bad.” The problem is, neither of these is a feeling. Men struggle with identifying and expressing their emotions in a healthy manner. Most funnel every emotion through anger. So whether they’re sad, scared, frustrated, fearful, or joyful, they still kick the cat when they get home.

American men are searching spiritually. In the midst of this gloomy picture of men, one thing is true: They’re looking for something beyond themselves to make sense out of the world they live in and the problems they face. For this reason, men need a place they can go to deal with life’s issues. They desire a place of safety and refuge where they can be who they are and accepted as they are. In his book, Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them, John Ortberg says that we’re all born with a tag on us that reads, “As Is.”

Lowes has a great slogan, “Let’s Build Something Together.” Building is in the male DNA, something indicates our quest, and together is what the church is all about. Men don’t have to go through this life searching all alone. There are answers to a better marriage, help in raising our kids and finding satisfaction at work. The Home Depot used to tell us that, “You can do it, we can help.” King’s Grant stands here with that same offer! That’s what King’s Grant and the Men of Steel can become, a Home Depot for men; encouraging, equipping, training, leading, reaching, uniting, practicing, impacting and sharing life together, for the kingdom’s sake.

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