Category: Men of Steel

God Calls us to Sexual Purity

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Last year about this time we began challenging the congregation to read the Bible in 90 Days. As we went through the Old Testament, there were some pretty “R” rated (if not “X” rated) passages. I heard about one family traveling on a trip with the grandchildren, reading the Bible aloud while the other was driving. They had to stop reading out loud because the kids where listening! Grandma just couldn’t read certain passages and speak the words aloud. Leviticus 18 is one of those chapters. As I work with men, statistics tell me that when it comes to sexual purity, men who are in church are not too much different than men outside of the church. Purity is a desire, but impurity is a great temptation.

Leviticus 18 contains a series of laws that have to do with sexual expression (except for Leviticus 18:21, which forbids child sacrifice, which is really a whole other topic). We might wonder why God didn’t simply say, “Have sexual relations only with your spouse,” rather than offer such detail in the form: “Do not have sexual relations with… (you name it).”

The answer to this question comes in Leviticus 18:3. God is leading the Israelites out of Egypt, where various forms of sexual immorality were common, into the land of Canaan, where the people do the very things Leviticus 18 prohibits. As Leviticus 18:27 explains, “All these detestable activities are practiced by the people of the land where I am taking you, and this is how the land has become defiled.” God was concerned that the Israelites would easily be tempted to imitate the Canaanites’ sexual impurity, so he spelled out graphically the relationships in which sexual activity was forbidden. He knew that his people were like young children who needed specific instructions and prohibitions.

Although our context differs a lot from that of the Israelites, we face a pretty similar situation. We live today in a culture that endorses unimaginable sexual activity. Even though our society still agrees with Leviticus 18 about some things, like the wrongness of sex with a close relative, our world presents us with new challenges to our sexual holiness, like readily available pornography.

The New Testament does not really offer an updated list of sexual “don’ts,” like a new rulebook for Christian sexual conduct. Rather, it calls us to holiness in every part of our lives, including our sexuality (see 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8). We should not imitate the ways of our world when it comes to sexual expression, but we are to devote our whole being to God, which includes our bodies. We are to live each day with the realization that our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). So, we have the obligation and privilege of honoring God with our bodies. When we take this calling seriously, each day we will desire to dishonor God with our bodies less and less. We will seek to give him all that we are, all the time, giving Him honor.

Application: In what areas of life are you tempted to compromise in the are of purity? How have you come to realize your weaknesses? What safeguards have you set in place? What in our culture tempts you to set aside God’s standards for sexuality? What helps you to live according to God’s standards? What lures you to adopt the ways of our fallen culture? What has been your track record over the past few months? If you wish to start over, what prevents you from confession, restoration and commitment to purity (1 John 1:9)? Who is the man who holds you accountable? Whom are you holding accountable, your neighbor, brother, son, co-worker?

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There’s Joy in the Journey

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In Acts 21, Paul is on his way from Miletus to Jerusalem, a trip that likely took several weeks. I can imagine that Paul may have wished he could just skip the trip and end up at his destination, but then he would not have had the meaningful encounters had experienced along the way. The journey is just as important as the destination, and God travels every mile with us.

One stop along the way was in Tyre (Acts 21:3) where the ship unloaded its cargo. The missionaries looked up some disciples of Jesus and spent seven days with them (Acts 21:4). This church was planted during an earlier visit and they were a part of the great dispersion (Acts 11:19), believers being scattered away from Jerusalem with persecution. In this story we see the amazing gift of hospitality being exercised by the church, even though they were persecuted, they still had time and the courage to take people in who were in need.

I find it interesting that the Spirit had compelled Paul to go to Jerusalem (Acts 20:22) but here, Luke writes about the disciples in Tyre, “through the Spirit they urged Paul not to go” Acts 21:4). Contradiction in discerning the will of God? More than likely the Holy Spirit had burdened their hearts with an awareness of the trouble that lay ahead for Paul, therefore they concluded that he should then avoid Jerusalem. But to Paul’s credit, nothing could stop him once he was determined to follow God’s leading.

Paul’s second lengthy stop was in Caesarea where he stayed at the house of Philip (Acts 21:8, 6:5), who was a spirit-filled man, full of wisdom and also an evangelist (Acts 8:26-40). No wonder his daughters turned out the way they did (Acts 21:9). This story is similar to Timothy and his heritage (2 Timothy 1:5). Many people can point back to key individuals who shaped their faith: a youth pastors, Sunday school teacher, even a neighbor who took an interest in their spiritual life, but nothing can impact a child more than a believing parent.

These daughters were prophetesses (Acts 21:9). Paul was the first to recognize this gift in women, much to the surprise of those who believe Paul was anti-women with some of his culturally-based and church specific teachings (1 Corinthians 11:5, 6, 15, 14:34, 35, 1 Timothy 2:9, 11-12) but he was actually supportive of women in ministry. Had Paul been disapproving of Philip and his daughters, he would have said so.

The word for prophesying is propheteuo meaning “to declare truths through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, to tell forth God’s message.” It is not so much foretelling the future as forth-telling God’s message. In essence, these women were some of the first Christian speakers or preachers. God was doing something old (prophecy) in a new way (with women).

At Philip’s house Paul finds an Ezekiel-like character named Agabus (Acts 21:10), who took his own belt and bound his hands and feet as a message to Paul (Acts 21:11). He enacted a parable much like we see in Ezekiel. This must have been more convincing that just the Phoenician disciples plea (Acts 21:4) because all the people urged Paul not to go (Acts 21:12). But Paul never wavered in his resolve; even when he was urged by the disciples in Tyre, the elders of Ephesus, Luke, Timothy and others. There was weeping and expressions of grief, but this was not just crying (which is not so manly for most of us) but it is one of the strongest expressions of grief, sobbing (Acts 21:13). Paul voiced his determination not only to be bound, but to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus. I’m not sure this statement made anyone feel any better.

Application: What heritage are you passing to your children? What do you see as their calling or mission in the world (no matter what their chosen vocational goal)? Have they caught your passion for God, and His mission in the world? Are you even passionate about God, or just a believer? … Examine yourself to see where you fit on this one. Do you recognize that the journey is just as important as your destination? This life is preparation for the next. How have you prepared yourself to see God at work in the routine of your life’s journey, or to hear His voice in the midst of the all the noise we hear every day? When have you been so resolute to stand and not waiver on what you know to be true? Is God leading you toward something that may or may not make sense to others? In the everyday events of life, how can you become more aware of God’s involvement in your life? Do you have people around you who can speak truth into your life? Do you have other men who can strengthen and challenge you when you fall, or protect you when you are tempted? How can you know when God is speaking to you to do something extraordinary or when it is only a foolish impulse on your part? Remember that we all will leave a legacy, but the goal is to leave one that will make God smile and of which our children will be proud. There is joy in the journey, so become more aware of God’s presence in your life, and get involved in the lives of others.

The Sad Goodbye

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Paul intentionally sails past Ephesus and requests the elders to meet him in Miletus (Acts 20:15, 16). There was a deep affection for the people in Ephesus and their leaders. When they met, notice the attention he pays to them:

You know that from the day I set foot in the province of Asia until now I have done the Lord’s work humbly and with many tears. I have endured the trials that came to me from the plots of the Jews. I never shrank back from telling you what you needed to hear, either publicly or in your homes. (Acts 20:18-20)

He was attentive to them because he became involved with them emotionally and spiritually. They saw his humility, which is the confession of sin and a deep realization of his unworthiness to receive God’s grace. He was open about his past. They also saw his heart, not hiding the pain of his hardships and the risk he took in developing friendships with others. They knew Paul was genuine.

Paul held nothing back (Acts 20:27) but preached the whole message God wanted them to know, even the hardships of being a follower of Christ. He even told them about his immediate future and going to Jerusalem (Acts 20:22, 23). Paul had been warned about what lay ahead for him, but was drawn toward the mission like a moth to a lamp. If he received such opposition in all these other cities, why would Jerusalem be an exception?

Paul has an assumption, too. He believed he would never see the Ephesians again, you can see this as you read the whole farewell speech (Acts 20:38).

Paul also had one ambition, one life verse that kept him going (Acts 20:24), that he would finished the race and complete the task God had given him. Nothing would move him off course.

Fear is a powerful tool, but Paul’s love for Christ and others far exceeded his fear of suffering and death. He knew the task was given to him, and he was not supposed to finish the task given to Barnabas, Peter or Timothy. I am reminded of Paul’s challenge in Ephesians 2:10, that we are His workmanship created for good works, which God prepared in advance. God desires for us to encourage others (Hebrews 10:24, 25) but we are responsible for completing our own task.

Now Paul gives them an admonition, to expect wolves to creep into the fold and devour the flock (Acts 20:25-31). They are told to guard two groups, “themselves and God’s people” (Acts 20:28). One cannot guard others if you cannot guard yourself. The word used to “keep watch” or to guard is prosecho, a nautical term that means to veer off course. Leaders cannot lead people beyond where they themselves have been led. Leaders can have a difficult time staying on course, and can even get caught up in sinful activity, but the admonition of Paul is to stay on course.

The only way to stay on course is to know the Word of God. In Acts 20:30 Paul tells them that men will rise up and distort the truth; twisting it to suit themselves, just like Adam and Eve back in the Garden (Genesis 3:1).

Paul also showed his affection for them (Acts 20:36-38). This same Paul taught that love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8 NASB), perhaps at this moment he would also testify that love never fails to hurt. We become vulnerable when we choose to enter into relationships. It is a risky thing to open yourself up to the potential hurt that can come when we genuinely care for another person. Was it hard for Paul to leave them? Just read the opening verse of the next chapter (Acts 21:1 NIV). I think that Luke, who was waiting on the boat (Acts 20:13), had to literally go ashore to tear Paul away from them.

Application: Are you willing to make friendships that go beyond discussions about the weather or football? In what ways are you sharing life with other people, and I’m not talking about spending time at work with co-workers (unless you’re intentionally investing time as well as emotional and spiritual energy into the relationship). Do you talk about the deep things of life, marriage, raising children, God’s plan, and God’s will? Take a risk and invest yourself into another man until he is ready to invest himself into the life of another man. Who sees your humility and who knows your heart? With whom are you holding back? Have you discovered the task God has given to you, and to you alone? Express that to someone else today. Have you embraced a life verse that keeps you on track? Have you veered off course and need to get back on course? With whom are you accountable and therefore have guarded your life from the enemy?

He Died in the Service

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You’ve heard the joke… a boy sees a plaque in the foyer of the church honoring “those who died in the service.” While shaking the hand of the pastor at the end of the worship service, the little boy asks, “were they in the 8:30 or the 11:00 service?” I don’t know too many stories about people dying in church, but the Bible records one such story when Paul turns into a long-winded preacher in a place called Troas (Acts 20:7-9).

Paul left Ephesus and traveled through Macedonia and into Greece, where he stayed three months (Acts 20:1, 2, 3). Under more persecution, the small group (Acts 20:4) caught up with Luke at Troas (Acts 20:5, 6).

Luke was a man short on elaboration when it came to details, but as Paul preached on and on past midnight, a boy name Eutychus fell asleep sitting on a third floor window sill, fell out and “was picked up dead” (Acts 20:9). It appears that Paul’s enthusiasm exceeded the stamina of his audience.

As one with a spiritual gift of teaching, I understand the dilemma, wanting to pass on everything that I learn to others. I often wonder about my writing too much on this blog, but then justify the length at times for a few reasons:

  1. People will read only what they choose to read.
  2. If people want to know more they have it available right now.
  3. If people choose not to read it, I still have it on my blog as an electronic filing cabinet for my future reference!

I can imagine some of you reading this getting a kick out of Acts 20:9 where Luke mentions, “Paul kept talking on and on.” Perhaps you are thinking the same about me, going on and on, but I hope what I share with you is worth your time!

Back to the story. Had this boy not fallen asleep and out the window, Paul would not have had the opportunity to raise the dead. The message went on and on, the room was so crowded they had to sit people in the window to hear. The lamps and bodies made the room warm. Most of the listeners had risen at dawn that morning, so it was a very long day. I imagine the boy (and others) had to prop their eyelids open.

Perhaps a dream caused the boy to twitch and he fell out the window. It would not be such a funny story if it were not for the happy ending, Paul runs down and declares the boy is alive (Acts 20:10). Another humorous part for me is that after he raises the boy, Paul goes back upstairs and continues talking until morning (Acts 20:11).

The moral of this story, don’t sit too close to a window as you read my lessons… did I make this one a little shorter?

God’s Grace – the Bridge

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This is an unbelievable illustration of what the Father has done for us. He sacrificed his own Son so that all might have life. God’s gift of grace came at a very high price. This bridge operator sacrificed the life of his own son because he knew that the lives of countless others hung on his decision. The people pass over the bridge without a care in the world, oblivious to the sacrifice paid for their salvation. How you see the price God paid to express his grace?

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National Porn Sunday

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Statistics says that pornography use is rampant in America, and the American church is not exempt. It is sort of the elephant in the pew. Take a look at this:

  1. Men admitting to accessing pornography at work-20%
  2. U.S. adults who regularly visit Internet pornography websites-40 million
  3. Promise Keeper men who viewed pornography in last week-53%
  4. Christians who said pornography is a major problem in the home-47%
  5. Adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction-10%
  6. Breakdown of male/female visitors to pornography sites is 72% male & 28% female
  7. Internet Pornography Sales-$4.9 billion
  8. Pornographic websites-4.2 million (12% of total websites)
  9. Pornographic pages-420 million
  10. Daily pornographic search engine requests-68 million (25% of total search engine requests)
  11. Daily pornographic e-mails-2.5 billion (8% of total emails)
  12. Internet users who view porn-42.7%
  13. 89% of porn is created in the U.S.
  14. $2.84 billion in revenue was generated from U.S. porn sites in 2006
  15. Over $3k a second is spent on porn worldwide.
  16. 72% of porn viewers are men.
  17. 260 new porn sites go online daily.

Source: www.XXXchurch.com

National Porn Sunday – Super Bowl Sunday, February 6

I’ve been thinking about this event, King’s Grant has outreach Super Bowl parties scheduled, but what if the Men of Steel took this farther?

Over 300 churches throughout the country have taken part in Porn Sunday. This is the chance to bring hope to those who are struggling with pornography. For some it is ludicrous to link three X’s with church and for others it is long overdue. The one undeniable truth that can’t be ignored is the blatant push for all things sexual in our society. Porn Sunday seeks to drive the conversation about pornography into our churches, families and lives. This weekend service brings healing to those sitting in churches who are caught up in pornography.

F.A.Q’s

  1. Will this prepare my church to have accountable relationships? Yes.
  2. I don’t know if my church is ready for this yet. Take a risk. The freedom and healing for the people in pew is worth it.
  3. Can I use the kit just as a resource for my congregation? Yes.
  4. Doesn’t the title and approach trivialize a serious topic? It actually does the opposite. People will laugh a little but in the end they will walk away equipped to deal with a tough issue in their lives.
  5. Why is an elephant the mascot? Porn is the elephant in the pew. The thing everyone wants and needs to hear from the church on, but continually does not.
  6. Will the press show up at my church? Maybe. If you send out a press release (included) and promote the weekend well.
  7. Will some people in my church not understand why we are addressing this issue? Yes, but a few should not hold us back from helping the majority.
  8. Isn’t pornography a men’s only issue and be dealt with at a mens breakfast? Definitely not. There are women who struggle greatly with pornography and also there are women who need to hear a message of hope because their husbands are in way too deep.
  9. What age group is PornSunday appropriate for? Middle school and up appropriate. The average age a child sees pornography is age 11.

A Word from XXXchurch.com

The reality is that as men we all struggle. And for some it’s an overwhelming struggle with pornography. We know where to find porn and we know how to keep it hidden. In our culture the line has been blurred on what is porn. The magazines, TV and the Internet put it right in front of us every day of our lives.

It is time to make some decisions. What are we doing with all the junk that is coming at us? Consume it, get in way over our heads or are we going to live for things that are greater? There is a point in which we have to acknowledge that what we keep hidden from our wives, girlfriends, children and even closest friends we are not proud of. The question is simply will you live a life that is transparent?

At the core of consuming porn is selfishness. I will get my fix. No one will know. It is my secret. It is what I do in private. My dad did it. Everyone does it and I am going to as well.

Porn is a fantasy designed to do one thing, keep you completely to yourself. It is a lie. Porn tries to tell you what sex should feel like and look like. Porn will destroy the relationships around you. You will pull away from reality because of this dirty little secret. As you consume porn, it becomes your life and you will eventually lose control to addiction. Stop now. Be done with it all. Change today because there are much greater things than porn to give your time, money and energy to.

Next Steps:

1. Confess
Go before God with everything. Confess your struggles through prayer. He already knows it all anyway, right? You have to put all your junk out on the table and acknowledge that you can’t handle it anymore-you need God. You cannot handle it on your own.

2. Get Accountable
Find someone in your life that you trust and let him or her in on your struggles. Such as a close friend, pastor or family member. You are not alone. You are not supposed to deal and carry this on your own. God has placed people around you that will walk with you as you move toward freedom. As men we naturally want to keep it all to ourselves. It it is time to own up to those closest to you.

Download XXXchurch’s free accountability software X3watch. It’s simple and completely free. This software monitors what is accessed online and sends a report of any questionable websites to your accountability partners e-mail addresses.

Download X3watch – www.x3watch.com.

3. Clean It Up
Throw away the porn stash. Delete it all. Literally get rid of the things that are tripping you up. It is time to break that pattern of the things that make you stumble, the things you go right back to.

Maybe you need to cancel your cable or internet altogether, move the computer out of the basement to the kitchen or get a filter on your computer. Take solid action steps toward moving away from your places of struggle. The process of cleaning it up is continuous and will not happen overnight. Define the specific situations you struggle and take tangible steps to eliminate those places from your life.

Source: www.XXXchurch.com

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Could it Happen to You?

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If you wanted a study of character, nobility, wisdom, courage, and devotion; you could not find a better man than David. The Bible calls him, “… a man after God’s own heart” (Acts 13:22).

Yet there was a dark chapter in David’s life. Even though he was a great man and lover of God, David committed a horrible sin against God and others. He entered into an adulterous relationship with another man’s wife, Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:3, 4). Then, in an attempt to cover his sin, he arranged to have her husband, Uriah, killed (2 Samuel 11:6, 15).

We need to be warned! If it could happen to David, it can happen to us. First Corinthians 10:12 says, “…let him that thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.” So, we need to see how and why this happened in David’s life to help it not happen to us.

Second Samuel 11:1-2 says, “In the spring of the year, when kings normally go out to war, David sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites. They destroyed the Ammonite army and laid siege to the city of Rabbah. However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem. Late one afternoon, after his midday rest, David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace. As he looked out over the city, he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking a bath.”

The Sin of Casualness:
What was David’s sin? In the beginning, it was simply the sin of casualness. The harvest time was over, and there were battles to be fought; yet David remained at home. He did not do anything wrong in itself; he just failed to do what was right. He was a king, but he lay around in bed all day while others fought.

Maybe the battle-scarred veteran thought, “I’ve done my time on the battlefield; I need a little rest and relaxation.” Don’t ever think you have done your service to Jesus and you can quit.

The Sin of dis-Connectedness:

I think David was also alone; he did not have another man to keep him accountable or faithful. A man who is disconnected will fall for lack of focus and counsel. Life unchecked will often lead to ruin. Had David been in an accountability relationship, perhaps this whole scenario could have been avoided. Every man needs to be connected to other men, or he will be led astray by his own desires, passions and weaknesses.

The Sin of Carelessness:
It was also a sin of carelessness. David had failed to keep up his guard. How different David was from Joseph. When tempted by Potiphar’s wife, Joseph immediately fled (see Genesis 39:11-13). He obeyed what later would be an imperative by the apostle Paul, “Flee fornication” (1 Corinthians 6:18). Jesus also warned the apostles in Matthew 26:41: “Watch and pray, that you don’t enter into temptation.”

You will have times in your life when everything is going just fine and you don’t feel any unusual temptation, but watch out for the sin of carelessness.

The Sin of Compulsiveness:
David’s sin was also a sin of compulsiveness. It has been said that sin is an undetected weakness, an unexpected opportunity, and an unprotected life. That was true in David’s life. He didn’t intend to sin; it just happened. He looked over the wall and there she was. He called his servants and said, “Get her for me” (2 Samuel 11:4).

You may say, “Well, that couldn’t happen to me.” David would have said the same thing before he compulsively fell into sin. There are three people seated in your seat right now: the person you are this very moment; the person you could be for God; and the person you could be for evil.

The Sin of Callousness:
The sin of David doesn’t end with Bathsheba. David became calloused and tried to cover his sin. When he found out Bathsheba was pregnant, he attempted to hide the fact that the baby was his. When that failed, he arranged for Bathsheba’s husband to be placed on the front line of battle and killed (see 2 Samuel11:5-17).

Can you imagine this is David doing such a thing? When he committed adultery with Bathsheba, that was bad enough; but it was a hot-blooded sin. Now, what he does to Uriah is cold-blooded murder. See where his carelessness led him. David had been hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

It Could Happen to You!
This is a sad story, and God was grieved by it (2 Samuel 11:27). David also grieved over his sin and finally cried out to God for mercy. And as we read about the rest of his life (2 Samuel 12 through 1 Kings 2), we see that the consequences of David’s sin followed him; but David received forgiveness from God.

You very well might say, “That’s an interesting story; maybe I can pass it on to somebody else who needs it.” Then you missed the point. David got into trouble with the sin of casualness. He didn’t go roaring into sin. Don’t ever think it couldn’t happen to you. Is your heart cold? Get it warm. Have you been lazy? Go to work. Have you been careless? Keep the fire burning for Christ and His mission.

Don’t take that first step toward sin. It will cost you more than you want to pay.