Category: Discipleship

Hidden Anger

Posted on by

Many people live life unaware that they have hidden anger, or suppressed anger that only occasionally surfaces. While hidden anger is usually rooted in past childhood hurts, the underlying effects are always ready to surface at any time. For example, when someone says or does something wrong, the one with suppressed anger often overreacts. When someone makes an innocent mistake, the magnitude of anger is out of proportion to the mistake.

If you have hidden anger, you can find yourself at one extreme or another; from feeling hopeless to feeling hostile, and can be totally unaware of why you are experiencing these feelings. The Bible makes it clear that some of our motives and emotions are hidden from our own view. “Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults.” (Psalm 19:12)

CLUES TO FIND HIDDEN ANGER

  • Do you have irritability over trifles?
  • Do you smile on the outside, while you hurt on the inside?
  • Do you find your identity and worth in excessive work?
  • Do you deny ever being impatient?
  • Do you have to have the last word?
  • Do those close to you say that you blame others?
  • Do you feel emotionally flat?
  • Do you find yourself quickly fatigued?
  • Do you have a loss of interest in life?
  • Do you become easily frustrated?

If you find that you have hidden anger, resolve to follow the Lord’s directive to these Christians in Colossae, “You must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” (Colossians 3:8)

[print_link] [email_link]

This information comes from Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Anger: Facing the Fire Within, Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.

Unresolved Anger

Posted on by

The emotion of anger is not a problem in itself, but anger becomes a problem when left unresolved. Prolonged anger brings bitterness and unforgiveness. One way you can choose to harbor anger is by refusing to face your feelings in a healthy way. This unresolved anger not only creates a rift between you and God, but also damages your body, destroys your emotions, and demoralizes your relationships.

Whether you recognize it or not, extended anger can cause significant physical, emotional, and spiritual problems. Jesus said, “I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.” (Matthew 5:22)

Unresolved anger is known to produce in many people some of the following physical, emotional, and spiritual symptoms:

Physical Symptoms: High blood pressure, Heart disease, Stomach disorders, Intestinal disorders, Headaches, Blurred vision, Insomnia, Compulsive eating

Emotional Symptoms: Anxiety, Bitterness, Compulsions, Depression, Fear, Insecurity, Phobias, Worry

Spiritual Symptoms:

  • Loss of Perspective
  • Allowing your emotions to distort your thinking
  • Loss of Vision
  • Losing a sense of purpose for your life
  • Loss of Sensitivity
  • Failing to hear the Spirit of God speaking to your heart
  • Loss of Energy
  • Lacking strength for your service to God and others
  • Loss of Freedom
  • Becoming a prisoner of your circumstances
  • Loss of Confidence
  • Feeling insecure about your response to difficulties
  • Loss of Faith
  • Failing to trust that God is working in your life
  • Loss of Identity
  • Becoming like the person toward whom you are bitter

Unresolved anger produces bitterness. And the Bible links bitterness with being in bondage to sin. “I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.” (Acts 8:23)

[print_link] [email_link]

This information comes from Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Anger: Facing the Fire Within, Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.

Action or Reaction in Anger

Posted on by

It’s time for some self-evaluation… ask yourself these questions:

  1. When you are angry, does reason rule the day or do tense emotions take over?
  2. Do you allow the mind of Christ within you to determine how best you should act, a choice that leads to appropriate action … or do you have a knee-jerk reaction that leads to inappropriate reaction?

If you have never evaluated what happens when you feel angry or if you lack insight as to how others perceive you when you are angry, seek God’s wisdom and understanding. “If you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” (Proverbs 2:3–6)

An appropriate action is expressing your thoughts and feelings with restraint, understanding, and concern for the other person’s welfare. “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.” (Proverbs 17:27)

An inappropriate reaction is expressing your thoughts and feelings in such a way that stirs up anger in others so that it produces strife. Proverbs, the book on wisdom, paints this graphic picture, “As churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.” (Proverbs 30:33)

To help assess whether you act or react, take time to answer the following questions:

Anger ActionsEven though a situation may evoke anger, those who allow the Lord to be their strength will respond appropriately. “As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” (Colossians 3:12)

[print_link] [email_link]

This information comes from Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Anger: Facing the Fire Within, Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.

The Magnitude of Anger

Posted on by

Anger, like heat, has many degrees ranging from from mild, controlled irritation to a hot, uncontrolled explosion. Anger covers many levels of the emotion. “Simeon and Levi are brothers—their swords are weapons of violence. Let me not enter their council, let me not join their assembly, for they have killed men in their anger and hamstrung oxen as they pleased. Cursed be their anger, so fierce, and their fury, so cruel! I will scatter them in Jacob and disperse them in Israel.” (Genesis 49:5–7)

Indignation is simmering anger provoked by something appearing unjust or unworthy and often perceived as justified. Jesus became “indignant” when the disciples were preventing parents from bringing their children to Jesus so that He might touch and bless them. “When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.’ ” (Mark 10:14)

Wrath is burning anger accompanied by a desire to avenge. Wrath often moves from the emotion of anger to the outward expression of anger. In Romans 1:18, God expresses His wrath as divine judgment on those who commit willful sin. “The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness.” (Romans 1:18)

Fury is fiery anger so fierce that it destroys common sense. The word fury suggests a powerful force compelled to harm or destroy. Some members of the Sanhedrin were so angry with Peter and the other apostles for proclaiming that Jesus was God that “they were furious and wanted to put them to death” (Acts 5:33). That is why the Bible says, “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming.” (Proverbs 27:4)

Rage is blazing anger resulting in loss of self-control, often to the extreme of violence and temporary insanity. After an outburst of rage, how many times have we heard this cry of remorse, “I can’t believe I did that!” Yet those who continue to vent their rage toward others, including toward God, find themselves defeated by their own destructive decisions and ruined relationships. “A man’s own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the LORD.” (Proverbs 19:3)

[print_link] [email_link]

This information comes from Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Anger: Facing the Fire Within, Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.

The Meaning of Anger

Posted on by

In a fire, things can get out of control pretty quickly, so take action at the first signs of becoming angry before it consumes your life and destroys your relationships. “A quick-tempered man does foolish things.” (Proverbs 14:17)

  1. Anger is a strong emotion of irritation or agitation that occurs when a need or expectation is not met. “An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.” (Proverbs 29:22)
  2. Anger is the fuel for what the Bible describes as a hot-tempered or quick-tempered person. “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.” (Proverbs 15:18)
  3. Anger in the Old Testament is most frequently the Hebrew literally meaning “nose or nostrils” and, figuratively, picturing nostrils flaring with anger. Later, the word came to represent the entire face as seen in two ancient Hebrew sayings:
    1. “Long of face” (or nose) meaning … slow to anger. “The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.” (Psalm 145:8)
    2. “Short of face” (or nose) meaning … quick to anger. “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered.” (Proverbs 22:24)
  4. Anger in the New Testament is a Greek word which originally meant any “natural impulse or desire,” but later came to signify “anger as the strongest of all passions.” It is often translated as “wrath” because of its powerful, lasting nature. “For those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.” (Romans 2:8)

[print_link] [email_link]

This information comes from Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Anger: Facing the Fire Within, Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.

Happiness is Not Our Goal

Posted on by

This is a hard subject, but we in the West often believe that the primary goal of our life is to be happy. The Declaration of Independence for the United States of America promotes the concept that mankind is endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But is happiness the goal in life?

You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. (2 Timothy 2:3-4)

The fact that we are born to be happy is rarely questioned by anyone. No one bothers to prove that fallen human beings have ANY moral right to happiness, or that they are any better off happy. The goal is often to get the most happiness out of life.

I was read A. W. Tozer and he writes that “the whole hectic scramble after happiness is an evil as certainly as is the scramble after money or fame or success….”

This can be easily discovered by simply reading the New Testament. The emphasis of God is not upon our happiness but upon our holiness. God is more concerned with the state of people’s hearts than with the state of their feelings.

The soldier does not seek to be happy in the field; he seeks rather to get the fighting over with, to win the war and get back home to his loved ones. When he gets home, it is there that he or she may enjoy life to the fullest. While the battle is raging, his most pressing job is to be a good soldier regardless of how he feels. (from “Of God and Men” pp. 48-49)

Ask yourself a few direct questions…

  1. Do you seek your holiness more than your happiness?
  2. Will you reorganize your priorities to reflect your commitment to Christ and his kingdom?
  3. Will you allow God to speak to you through your reading his Word, so you better know the leadership of the Holy Spirit in your life? [ Read the Bible in 2014 ]
  4. Who in your life will hold you accountable for the commitments you know that you need to make?

[print_link] [email_link]

Why People Resist Change

Posted on by

Change is hard, people will fight to keep things the same, but why? Why is change so difficult? I was reading an article by Lynn Hardaway (with The Bridge Network of Churches) that brings a few key insights.

What can be done when your church’s core values have drifted away from what makes a church healthy? How can a pastor lead people back to Great Commission values? The first step is to understand why people in an established congregation resist change.

1. They do not feel a need to change.
Unless the church is in crisis, most members believe “all is well” and will not be responsive to the pastor’s pleas to adopt different values. An old adage from the farm says, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink; you can, however, mix a little salt with its oats!” Show them the benefits of change and the danger of refusing to change.

2. People prefer the status quo.
It is safe, comfortable and familiar; moving out of that safe zone to a new place risks giving up control and feeling vulnerable. You should lead them to stop looking at what “is” and to start looking at “what can be” and “what should be.”

3. They have vested interests.
Because some people have been resident members of the congregation for an extended period of time, they have accrued positions of power and influence. You and your ideas for change are new on the scene and, in many churches, you are merely the current pastor who will probably leave within a few years; why should they change their values for a temporary leader? This leads to the next reason people resist change:

4. They do not trust you, yet.
You will need some time and successes to build your credibility in their eyes before they will let you make organizational and behavioral changes. People want to know if you can be trusted, if you know where you are going, and if you are capable of leading them there.

5. Old values and traditions have become sacred to them.
Whether those traditions are grounded in the Scripture or not is irrelevant; they are closely tied to how your people understand and relate to God. We all know pastors who found themselves ostracized because they dared to challenge the “sacred cows” in a congregation. Preach the Word of God compassionately, carefully lead the people to understand the difference between biblical values and cultural forms of worship, and you may be able to lead them away from this unhealthy mindset.

6. People prefer the simple over the complex.
When you introduce healthy systems, such as assimilation and evangelism, it can create confusion and frustration in the minds of your members, and they will naturally resist what they do not understand. They do not have the time or expertise to grasp novel concepts, so you must go the extra mile in clarifying and simplifying the process for them.

7. All human beings are basically self-centered.
While Christian people aspire to selflessness, most of us will react to a new value or idea with the question, “How will this affect my life?” You must remind your people regularly that life is not about them; life is about God’s great passion to see lost people become fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ.

Once you understand these seven reasons people resist change, you can begin the process of moving them from unhealthy values to healthy values.

[print_link] [email_link]

Daily Bible Study Form

Posted on by

In order to get the most out of personal Bible study, try using a form like this one, a Chapter A Day / Verse A Day. Read a whole chapter but focus on one verse in this chapter that really speaks to you today:

Chapter Study Form

God wants the Word of Christ to richly dwell in us (Colossians 3:16) and his Word change our lives. Many times we don’t know where to begin… start in Genesis? Matthew? John? Revelation? Some say to read for content, doctrine, or instruction and rules, while others say to read the Bible devotionally. With this method you can study the Bible for APPLICATION. The emphasis is on what the Bible says, and also on what God is saying to YOU.

Where to start? How about in the gospels in order to meet Jesus fresh each day at the very beginning? John, Mark, Luke, then Matthew. You can mix up your chapters by reading from the Old Testament some weeks and then back to the New Testament.

This is not about checking off these chapters in your “read the Bible through in a year” plan, it is about seeking the God of the Bible. The idea is to meet with God daily (Luke 9:23).

This is an adaptation of CAD/VAD, 1989, College Park Ministries, Carmel IN

Remember Failure is not Final

Posted on by

Take a moment and think about some of the familiar stories we heard as children (like “Cinderella” or “The Ugly Duckling”). What do they have in common? They are stories of transformation.

There’s a story of true transformation you will find in Genesis 28, where Jacob turned out to be one of the brightest stars in the Hebrew heaven, but he didn’t start out that way. He began as a failure with so much going against him.

Jacob had a lot of family problems. His father, Isaac, loved God, but he was a very sensual man. His mother, Rebekah, was a scheming woman who helped Jacob deceive his father (Genesis 27:5-17). Jacob’s twin brother, Esau, was a self-sufficient, self-centered brute who didn’t care at all about the things of God.

Jacob also had internal problems. His name originally meant “trickster” or “liar,” and that’s what he was by nature. It was hard for him to do right. He was just moving through life from one failure to another, but I want you to see God’s grace in Jacob’s life.

With all Jacob had against him, he did have a couple of redeeming factors.

The first thing he had going for him was that God loved him. The Bible tells us clearly in Romans 9:13 that God said, “I loved Jacob.” He didn’t love him because of his faults, but in spite of his faults. God didn’t change him in order to love him. God loved him so he could change him.

The second thing Jacob had going for him was that he had a spiritual hunger; he wanted to know God. Early in his life, he had cheated his brother out of the birthright which was the spiritual blessing (Genesis 25:19-34). Although Esau didn’t really care about the spiritual blessing, Jacob wanted it, but went about getting it in the wrong way.

Because of these two factors, Jacob experienced a transformation in his life (Genesis 28:10-22). Jacob had left his home because Esau was trying to kill him. He had been gone for many years and on his return trip he spent the night in the desert and had a dream about a ladder that came down from heaven with angels ascending and descending on it.

Up to this point, Jacob had been a religious man, but I don’t think he was a saved man. He was like a lot of people: he knew ABOUT God, but he didn’t KNOW God personally. He was separated from God, separated by his deceitfulness and sentenced to death.

New Consciousness: God began to reveal Himself to Jacob, and suddenly he had a new consciousness of God. Genesis 28:16 says Jacob awakened out of his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I wasn’t even aware of it!” God revealed himself to Jacob but he almost missed him!

New Communion: Along with a new consciousness, Jacob also had a new communion with God. Genesis 28:17 says he was afraid. He said, “What an awesome place this is! It is none other than the house of God, the very gateway to heaven!”

Then Jacob rose up early in the morning, took the stone that he had used for his pillow and set it up for a pillar. He poured oil on the top of it and worshiped God. Jacob then changed the name of the place as it’s told in Genesis 28:19, “He called the name of that place Bethel: but the name of that city was called Luz at the first.”

  • Luz means “separation,” which is what it used to be.
  • But now he calls it Bethel, which means “the house of God.”

Bethel is the place where he met the Lord. Meeting God at Bethel transformed Jacob’s life.

Do you have a Bethel? Do you have a place where you moved from separation to fellowship with God? From failure to success? God loved Jacob, and he loves you. Even though you may see yourself as having so much against you, you have the same thing going for you that Jacob did, and that is that God loves you.

Do you have a hunger for God? God would not just let things go. He saw in Jacob a hunger for himself. It was likely there all along, but God had to awaken this knowledge in Jacob. Do you have a hunger for God?

Do you have the ladder? There’s a ladder that goes from Earth to heaven and his name is Jesus. He said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” (John 14:6) and he wants to transform you from a failure into a success.

[print_link] [email_link]

Defining Success

Posted on by

Have you ever asked this question in a group of church people? “How do you know if the church is being successful?”

Generally there is silence and a perceived need for clarification, so let’s rephrase the question: “How do you measure the success of your ministry?” Generally more silence. Either people are afraid to say what they think, or they have no definitive answer.

We’re wired with a desire to succeed, whether it’s a relationship, the classroom, the marketplace, the athletic field, or ministry. Since success is so important to us, we should have a way to measure it.

Consider these four questions, which are intended for every believer, not just pastors and church staff, because God wants us all to pursue success as He defines it.

Question 1: Are You Being Faithful?
I read a book long ago called Liberating Your Ministry from Success Syndrome. In that book the author challenged the reader to step away from the numbers game. Pastors love to play this game at the Convention… “We grew by 55% this past year,” or “We baptized 30 new believers.” But the pastor of a small church who faithfully preaches the gospel, witnesses in the community and shepherds his local congregation year after year with little results, what about him? The numbers indicate that he is not successful like these other churches.

I suppose that we would declare the apostle Paul as unsuccessful… after all, he was a jail bird who was run out of town on several occasions, causing riots and turning the world upside down. But I suspect that none of us would classify Paul as a failure.

We all want to hear God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Hearing those words would shout success. In the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30), it’s profound to note that the master commended faithfulness: What did you do with what I gave you? The second servant received the exact same commendations as the first servant, even though he produced less of a return. Jesus is making the point that being a faithful steward of what you’ve been given is what matters most. Are you being faithful?

Question 2: Are You Bearing Fruit?
In John 15:1-11, Jesus taught that it’s God’s will that we bear much fruit. As we do so, God is glorified, and we prove to be Christ’s disciples. The New Testament speaks of two kinds of fruit:

  1. The fruit of Christ-like character (Galatians 5:22-23). The fruit of the Holy Spirit includes nine characteristics that should fittingly describe those who call themselves Christians.
  2. The fruit of Christ-like influence (Acts 10:38). We’re called to make a difference in the world in the name of Jesus.

So, are you bearing fruit?

Question 3: Are You Fulfilled?
My dictionary defines fulfill as, among other things, “to make full.” Is your life or ministry making you full of joy. Looking again at the parable of the talents, the master told his faithful servants, “Enter into the joy of your master” (Matthew 25:21, 23). Joy is one of the primary blessings of faithful and fruitful service.

This is exactly what Jesus indicated as He concluded His remarks in John 15 about fruit-bearing: “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full” (John 15:11). Jesus taught them to bear fruit so they would know His joy, and experience it in the fullest way. Are you fulfilled?

Question 4: Are You Making God Famous?
God wants us to be faithful, to bear fruit, and to experience fulfillment (his joy) in a way that makes him famous. Peter teaches that the faithful exercise of our gifts is “so that in all things God may be glorified” (1 Peter 4:10-11). Jesus tells us, “My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16). Are you making God famous?

Imagine for a moment what your church or ministry would be like if every believer was successful in biblical teams: faithful, fruitful, fulfilled, and engaged in making God famous. While such an objective may not be as quantifiable as other measures, it’s worth pursuing because it’s God’s measurement of success.

[print_link] [email_link]