Author: Scott Chafee

Scott serves on staff at King’s Grant Baptist Church in Virginia Beach.

Steps to Developing Character

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It’s important to develop a definition of a disciplined person) at each level of disciplemaking. This involves identifying the character qualities and competencies that a disciple needs to develop at each level.

A character quality is developed as we choose to obey a command of Christ habitually despite the difficulties, opposition or circumstances. Long-term habits (good or bad) shape our character.

Character development is a fundamental change in a person’s moral constitution. It involves seeing people who are feeling-oriented become obedience-oriented.

  • Don’t underestimate the challenge of developing a person’s character; it’s a painful process.
  • Paul wrote, “My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you,” Galatians 4:19.
  • Although it may be a painful process, it’s not an impossible task. We can take hope in the fact that the Bible wasn’t just given to us for information but for transformation (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

Rick Warren has written in his book The Purpose Driven Church:

  • Christlike character is the ultimate goal. To settle for anything less is to miss the point of spiritual growth. We are to … “become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ,” (Ephesians 4:13).
  • Developing the character of Christ is life’s most important task because it is the only thing we’ll take with us into eternity. Jesus made it quite clear in his Sermon on the Mount that eternal rewards in heaven would be based on the character we develop and demonstrate here on earth.
  • This means the objective of all our teaching must be to change lives, NOT merely provide information.
  • Character is never built in a classroom; it is built in the circumstances of life. The classroom Bible study is simply the place to identify character qualities and learn how character is developed. When we understand how God uses circumstances to develop character, we can respond correctly when God places us in character-building situations. Character development always involves a choice. When we make the right choice, our character grows more like Christ.

Choices start with thoughts – “Sow a thought and reap an act. Sow an act and reap a habit. Sow a habit and reap a character. Sow a character and reap a destiny.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

THOUGHT + ACT + HABIT = CHARACTER

  • What is character? It is the dynamic orientation toward good or bad.
  • Character is developed through repeated choices that become habits.
  • How do you build character? Building character involves the transformation of the will through repeated choices that become habits that are allowed to shape ones thinking and feelings.

Church consultant Bob Gilliam suggests the following formula can create a sufficient enough commitment in a person’s life that wants to develop life skills (character) or ministry skills (competence).

PRIORITY + DISCIPLINE = COMMITMENT

Discipline is made up of two important dynamics – Relationship and Accountability. If we want to be committed to a habit that will ultimately shape our character then we must have a close relationship with someone that we invite to hold us accountable.

[Based on my classes with Richard D. Leineweber, Jr. c. 2000]

The Truth About Secrets

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Everyone has a story to tell, and every part of our lives make up that story… victories, successes and the mistakes. Author Jeannie St. John Taylor wrote a book called “You Wouldn’t Love Me if You Knew” where a boy did something wrong and is afraid he can never be forgiven. He tries to replace the mistake with a series of good deeds but he never feels good enough. Once he comes clean, he learns a powerful truth about forgiveness.

  1. When was the last time you felt unforgivable? What did you learn?
  2. How often to you feel like that little boy… if we only knew your deepest and darkest most private secrets of your life?
  3. If you are currently keeping a secret, why do you think you are afraid to be honest?
  4. When was a time where you came clean with a secret, how did the most important people in your life respond?
  5. How do relationship suffer or benefit from being vulnerable?

Video Questions:

  1. How did you feel after seeing this scene in the film?
  2. How do you think Hannah felt when Cindy denied her the truth she was seeking? How can you relate?
  3. Has someone close to you ever kept a secret (the truth) from you? How did you feel? How did you respond when you learned the truth?
  4. How can you relate to Cindy’s response in this scene?

Bible Study: (2 Samuel 12:1-17) David is a man that has all of his ups and downs record for the world to see, throughout generations of time. The man after God’s own heart, the adulterous murderer king.

David was a giant among godly leaders, but he remained human as his sin with Bathsheba and Uriah showed. He spied Bathsheba bathing, desired her, and engineered the death of her faithful warrior husband, after committing adultery with her (2 Sam. 11).

Nathan, the prophet, confronted David with his secret sin, and David confessed his wrongdoing. The newborn child of David and Bathsheba died. David acknowledged his helplessness in the situation, confessing faith that he would go to be with the child one day. Bathsheba conceived again, bearing Solomon (2 Samuel 12:1-25).

  1. How is it easier to see the sin in someone else but not see it in ourselves? (2 Samuel 12:5-6)
  2. What did Nathan say would be the result of David’s sin? (2 Samuel 12:10-14)
  3. How did David respond when his sin was uncovered? (2 Samuel 12:16-17)
  4. How are you impacted by knowing that David was forgiven but still had to endure the consequences of his sin?

For the rest of the story: Able to rule the people but not his family, David saw intrigue, sexual sins, and murder rock his own household, resulting in his isolation from and eventual retreat before his son Absalom.

  • David grieved long and deep when his army killed Absalom (2 Samuel 18:19-33).
  • David’s kingdom was restored, but the hints of division between Judah and Israel remained (2 Samuel 19:40-43).
  • David had to put down a northern revolt (2 Samuel 20).
  • The last act the books of Samuel report about David is his census of the people, bringing God’s anger but also preparing a place for the temple to be built (2 Samuel 24).
  • The last chapters of 1 Chronicles describe extensive preparations David made for the building and the worship services of the temple.
  • David’s final days involved renewed intrigue among his family, as Adonijah sought to inherit his father’s throne, but Nathan and Bathsheba worked to ensure that Solomon became the next king (1 Kings 1:1-2:12).

Take a look at Psalm 32:

  1. David writes these psalms as confession of his sin. Psalm 32:3 mentions that he kept silent about his sin, how did that make him feel physically and emotionally? (Psalm 32:3-4)
  2. What are some ways that you see sin and guilt affecting people?
  3. According to Psalm 32:5, what did David do and what did God do?
  4. What lessons did David learn about sin and secrets (Bathsheba, Uriah, the front lines)? (Psalm 32:6-11)

A baby lost his life, a warrior lost his life, a woman lost her husband… but don’t judge David too harshly. How have you been like David the sinner?

Take a look at Psalm 51: this is a deeper confession of David’s sin

How have you been like David the forgiven?

The fact is that we have all done horrible things and we try to put on the false face to hide the truth from other people. Here are a few truths about secrets:

  1. Secrets birth other secrets.
  2. Secrets make us lonely.
  3. Secrets disconnect us from other people.
  4. Secrets are not secrets from God, while they do strain our relationship with him.
  5. Secrets prevent us from being fully alive in Christ.
  6. Secrets lose their power when they are shared.

Assignment and Challenge:

  1. What is there about your personality that not many people know?
  2. What is something you have overcome that not many people know?
  3. What is something with which you struggle that not many people know?

What Does the Bible Say About Keeping Secrets?

A secret can be difficult to keep and equally difficult to share, yet life seems to run on secrets, from concealing birthday presents, to obscuring a difficult past, to protecting the whereabouts of an important political figure. The Bible teaches, indirectly, that secrets can be either good or bad, but it does not clearly delineate the right and wrong uses of secrets.

Throughout the history of Israel, political and military secrets are mentioned without pronouncing any moral judgments for or against them (e.g., 2 Samuel 15:35-36). However, in the story of Samson and Delilah (Judges 16:4-22), Samson reveals the source of his strength, an act which, based on the aftermath of his admission, was awfully stupid. It was a secret he should have kept.

Esther’s story provides a positive example of someone who kept a secret. Her decision to hide her nationality (Esther 2:20) became an integral part of God’s plan to save His people (Esther 4:13; 7:3-6). The same story also supports the morality of revealing a secret that, if kept hidden, would cause great wrong or serious harm (Esther 2:21-23).

Proverbs, the central book among the “wisdom literature” of the Bible, is the most explicit about secrets. Chapter 11 says that “a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:12-13). So, keeping a secret can be noble, but secrets kept for the wrong reason earn a person the title of “wicked,” for “a wicked man accepts a bribe in secret to pervert the course of justice” (Proverbs 17:23), and “whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I put to silence” (Psalm 101:5).

One type of secret is always wrong: trying to hide sin. “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy” (Proverbs 28:13). When it comes to our sin, God wants full disclosure, and He grants full forgiveness (Isaiah 1:18).

Of course, there’s no use trying to hide our sin from God. Nothing can be kept from Him. He is “the God of gods . . . and a revealer of secrets” (Daniel 2:47). Even our “secret sins” are exposed in His light (Psalm 90:8). “For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light” (Luke 8:17).

God Himself keeps some things—likely many things—hidden from us: “The secret things belong to the LORD our God” (Deuteronomy 29:29). Jesus asked several people to keep miracles He had done secret. For example, Jesus healed two blind men and told them to “see that no one knows about this” (Matthew 9:30). When Job realized the immensity of God’s knowledge, he spoke of “things too wonderful for me to know” (Job 42:3).

We can conclude that God does not consider keeping a secret to be sinful in and of itself. There are some things that people should know and some things they should not. God’s concern is how secrets are used, whether to protect or to hurt.

Wrong Ways to Read the Bible

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We always encourage people to read the Bible but how often do people get bogged down in some of the chapters that appear to have nothing to do with real life?

Because the point of the special revelation of the Bible is to illuminate God’s plan for redemption of the world and to glorify Christ, this means there are ways we ought NOT to read the Bible. Here are a few bad ways of reading the Scriptures:

  • Treating its stories as morality tales, where we rush to apply the stories of God’s people to ourselves as if WE were the heroes in God’s story of redemption, not Jesus.
  • Taking parts of the Bible out of their narrative contexts.
  • Reducing the epic story of the gospel of Jesus Christ to a disjointed list of statements, propositions, principles or practical tips.
  • Treating the Bible like it is Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations, or worse, a bag of fortune cookies.

Also, because the point of the Bible is to glorify Jesus and to capture our hearts in worship of Him, we need to be careful we don’t worship the Bible itself. We are to honor God’s Word, trust God’s Word, treasure God’s Word, and believe God’s Word, but we are called to worship God. This means the only Word we ought to worship is Jesus the Word.

What is Christian Character?

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Just as Jesus sought to develop the character of the disciples, not just training them for the task of the Great Commission, we must develop character. It is destructive to have a believer’s competence larger than his character. So what is character?

1. Character Defined:

  • “Character is who you are when no one’s looking” – Bill Hybels
    • It is NOT the same as reputation – what other people think of us.
    • It is NOT the same as success or achievement.
    • It is NOT what we have done, but who we are.
  • The Greek word for character is charakter. It is translated in Scripture as the “express image.” One of God’s primary goals for believers is to transform them into the image of His Son so that they may be a reflection of the character of Christ. – Bill Gothard
  • According to The Complete Word Study Dictionary New Testament, the word “originally denoted an engraver or engraving tool. Later it meant the impression itself, usually something engravers, cut in, or stamped, a character, letter, mark, [or] sign. This impression with its particular features was considered as the exact representation of the object whose image it bore.” In Hebrews 1:3, Christ is referred to as the “express image” of God; He fully expressed the character of God through His life.
  • We can take comfort in God’s purpose when we experience difficulties because “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
  • Character is the inward motivation to do what is right according to the highest standards of behavior in every situation.
  • Character consists of the stable and distinctive qualities built into an individual’s life that determine his or her responses, regardless of the circumstances.
  • Character is the wise response to the pressure of a difficult situation and what we do when we think that no one is watching. It is the predictor of good behavior.

2. Character Needs to be Added to our Lives:

  • 2 Peter 1:5-7, Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply (or add)  moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, 6 and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, 7 and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.

3. Character Needs to Increase in Our Lives:

  • 2 Peter 1:8, For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:9-10, Now as to the love of the brethren, you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another; “for indeed you do practice it toward all the brethren who are in all Macedonia. But we urge you, brethren, to excel still more.

4. Character Development Determines Our Maturity:

  • 1 Timothy 3:2-7, An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. 4 He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity 5 (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), 6 and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. 7 And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
  • 1 Timothy 3:8-10, 12-13, Deacons likewise must be men of dignity, not double-tongued, or addicted to much wine or fond of sordid gain, 9 but holding to the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 These men must also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons if they are beyond reproach… 12 Deacons must be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households. 13 For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a high standing and great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.
  • Titus 1:5-8, For this reason I left you in Crete, that you would set in order what remains and appoint elders in every city as I directed you, 6 namely, if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion. 7 For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, 8 but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled,
  • 1 Timothy 3:11, Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things.

5. Character Deficiency:

  • 2 Peter 1:9-11, For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins. 10 Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble; 11 for in this way the entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be abundantly supplied to you.
  • 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my 3 possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

6. Character is Rewarded:

  • 2 Peter 1:11, for in this way the entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be abundantly supplied to you.

[Based on my classes with Richard D. Leineweber, Jr. c. 2000]

God is the Hero of the Bible

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How do we know that God is the hero of the Bible? Here are examples of God acting for His own renown:

  • For the sake of his name, God did not destroy Israel in the desert (Ezekiel 20:5-9).
  • Pharaoh’s heart was hardened for the glory of God (Exodus 14:4, 18).
  • The beginning of the Israeli monarchy was about the glory of God (1 Samuel 12:19-23).
  • Solomon dedicated the temple for the glory of God (1 Kings 8).
  • Israel became great and powerful among the nations because God was “making himself a name” (2 Samuel 7:23).
  • God did not destroy Israel when it deserved to be destroyed, because he did not want his name blasphemed among the nations (Isaiah 48:9-11).
  • God decided to destroy the Israelites because they would not lay it in their heart to give glory to his name (Malachi 2:2).
  • Jesus’ life and ministry was about the glory of God (John 7:18;  17:4).
  • The cross of Jesus is about the glory of God (John 12:27-28).
  • You and I are saved to the praise of his glorious grace (Ephesians 1:3-6).
  • The Christian life is about the reflection of the glory of God off of our lives into the universe (Matthew 5:16; 1 Corinthians 10:31; 1 Peter 4:11).
  • The second coming is about the consummation of the glory of God (2 Thessalonians 1:9-10).
  • The consummation of all things is that God might be praised (Revelation 21:23).

The Bible screams it from every hilltop and rooftop and into every crook and crevice! The glory of God is God’s vision and his plan for seeing it fulfilled. Habakkuk 2:14 promises that “the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD as the waters cover the sea.” The supremacy of God’s glory is everywhere in the Bible because God’s plan is for his glory to be supreme everywhere in the world.

Church Guests Have Questions

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It’s important to encourage attenders to join our church — because they’ll NEVER grow spiritually without a commitment to live out what the Bible teaches while in a relationship with others.

As we encourage church membership, it’s important to keep in mind these five unspoken needs that prospective members are looking for our church to meet.

  • Will I be accepted at this church? – We meet this need best by establishing affinity groups within our church so that people with similar ages, interests, problems, or backgrounds can find and relate to each other. Everyone needs a niche, and small groups play a crucial role in meeting this need. We must show people that we have a place for them. Our Sunday and Wednesday opportunities are great because they can get involved, and if they have children, there is a quality and comprehensive process for discipling kids.
  • Will I find friends at this church? – People are looking for opportunities to develop relationships within our congregation. People aren’t looking for a friendly church as much as they’re looking for friends. The most common feedback we get off the Connection Cards and e-mail surveys is that we are a friendly and welcoming church. Let’s NOT just be polite but bring people in to our circles of commitment.
  • How will I make a difference at this church? – People want to make contribution with their lives. They want their lives to count. They want to feel that they matter. When we can show people that they can make a difference with their gifts and talents by joining our church, they will want to get involved. What can we dream up to get people involved, that will need all sorts of talents and abilities — not just singers, ushers and small group leaders. Take a look here on ways to get involved.
  • How will I benefit from joining this church? – We must be able to clearly and concisely explain the reasons and benefits of membership. Explain the biblical, practical, and personal reasons for membership. We have put together a simple brochure on what membership is so important.
  • What will be expected of me at this church? We must be able to explain the responsibilities of membership as clearly as we state the benefits of it. People have a right to know what is expected of them before they join. The Connections Class is a great way to get to know people who are on a similar life journey and to understand what King’s Grant membership is all about.

[ Adapted From Rick Warren ]

Worship God’s Name

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It is interesting that in biblical Hebrew, the name represented a person’s character or nature. To call upon one’s name was to seek his presence. So basically, to praise God’s NAME was to praise HIM. Look at these verses and see how this works:

  • Bless his name (Psalm 96:2)
  • Call upon his name (Psalm 80:18)
  • Declare his name (Psalm 22:22)
  • Fear his name (Psalm 86:11)
  • Give thanks to his name (Psalm 106:47)
  • Bring glory to his name (Psalm 86:9)
  • Glory in his name (Psalm 105:3)
  • Hope in his name (Psalm 52:9)
  • Know his name (Psalm 9:10)
  • Lift up hands in his name (Psalm 63:4)
  • Love his name (Psalm 5:11)
  • Praise his name (Psalm 44:8)
  • Rejoice in his name (Psalm 89:15-16)
  • Remember his name (Psalm 119:55)
  • Seek his name (Psalm 83:16)
  • Sing praise to his name (Psalm 7:17)
  • Shout his name (Psalm 66:4)
  • Trust in his Name (Psalm 33:21)

For an authentic worship experience, try using the attached document as a guide. It is a list of all the names of God found in the Bible: Father Son and Holy Spirit. Pronounce each name and allow the name to direct your attention and worship to HIM. Praise him, thank him, give him the glory that he alone deserves.

[ The Names of God ]

Knowing God Through Experience

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You will never be satisfied with just knowing about God. We often try but this always proves to be lacking and deficient. Life is so defeated when we just know about God, just a lot of facts and stats from the Bible. Knowing him comes only through experiencing him as he reveals himself to you.

I love that story of Moses at the burning bush (Exodus 3-4). God initiates a relationship with Moses by speaking through that bush that burned yet was not being consumed. Eventually Moses asks the “elephant in the room” question, “When they ask me the name of this God who sent me, what am I supposed to tell them?” God tells him, “Tell them I AM THAT I AM has sent you” (Exodus 3:13-14). Moses comes to know God more fully through experience.

Abraham similarly came to know God more fully through experience. God asked him to sacrifice his only son, the son of promise, the one he loves. It was a test of obedience. God stopped the sacrifice and provided a ram in place of his son, and Abraham passed the test. The event was significant in the life of Abraham and he named the place, YHWH Yireh, “The LORD will Provide.”

Interestingly enough, Abraham did not use the past tense (since the ram was already provided), he used a “future” language. The significance is that this is the same location that generations from that time, God would provide the ultimate sacrifice of his own Son to provide salvation for the whole world (Genesis 22:14). God’s provision “will be seen.”

The next question is for us, “When and where have you experienced God so fully, intimately, and significantly that you actually are able to NAME that place?” How did you come to experience God? What name did you call him? This story in your life may be your salvation story, or it may be a time since your salvation where God became a real person to you. I’d love to hear your story.

If your interested, I have a list of Names of God throughout the Bible.

How is God Personal?

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This post is a challenge for each follower of Jesus. Are you able to see God in your life and describe that relationship as real, personal and/or practical. Don’t gloss over the question. If you say YES, then HOW is the relationship that way?

The answer is imperative because God’s plan for the advancement of his kingdom depends on his relationship to his people. Here is a sample of a few passages where God is real, personal and/or practical:

  1. Genesis 3:20-21 – Adam and Eve were able to walk with God in the Garden, and after they sinned, they hid themselves; and God provided animal skin coverings for them. (real, personal and practical).
  2. Genesis 16:1-13 – Hagar ran away from her abusive master Sarai. When all hope was gone, she discovers that God came to her, he sees her, knew her needs and provided for her. (real, personal and practical).
  3. 1 Kings 3:5-13, 4:29-30 – Solomon was told by God that he could ask for anything he wanted from God… and he asks for wisdom to better lead God’s people. God likes that answer so much he gave him fame and wealth, too. (real, personal and practical).
  4. Mark 6:7-13 – The disciples had Jesus in their midst, he had called them to be with him and then sent them out to preach. He gives them authority and guidance. (real, personal and practical).
  5. Acts 12:1-17 – Peter is in prison and the angel visits him, and the doors are opened. His release is an answer to prayer. (real, personal and practical).

The penetrating question is HOW is your relationship with God also real, personal and practical? For me…

  1. I sense that as I read the Bible and hear messages on Sunday, God opens my eyes, mind, heart and soul to what he wants to say to me (Matthew 22:37-38, 1 Corinthians 2:14-16, John 14:26).
  2. In times of prayer I have received guidance, instruction, encouragement as I pour my heart out to him (Psalm 62:8, Lamentations 2:19, Psalm 23:3, 73:24, John 14:26, 16:13).
  3. I believe that he has given me the power to speak to others about him, to witness, share my faith and encourage others along life’s journey (Matthew 28:19-20, Romans 15:5, 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 3:13).
  4. I am aware of his constant presence (Hebrews 13:3, Nehemiah 9:31, Psalm 94:14, 2 Corinthians 4:8-10).
  5. How about just the fact that God has a purpose for my life, and a wonderful plan? (Psalm 139:16, Acts 1:8).

Sometimes we look at God, and believe that he will come to our aid in our time of trouble. But that is sort of opposite of how it works. God is always at work in the world and invites us to relate to him so he can accomplish his work through his people.

Let me repeat what I wrote above: God’s plan for the advancement of his kingdom depends on his relationship to his people. So he MUST work through us in ways that are real, personal and practice. The salvation of the world is at stake!