No one has it all together in their marriage. We are like pilgrims on a journey trying to figure out how to survive and thrive in this most important human relationship. The point is that God has called us to love our wives like Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-26). The point is that it is quite difficult to love anyone else that much. Christ loved the church so much that he died for us all. You may also love your wife enough to die for her, but do you love her enough to live for her. That is the great challenge. That takes sacrifice.
Priorities and Unity:
Have you ever been at a place in your marriage where you and your wife were not aligned in your priorities? Maybe you wanted to focus on items 1, 3, and 5, but she thought items 2, 4, and 6 should be given higher priority. This can quickly begin a cycle of strife and stress that will not be resolved until root issues causing the division are dealt with.
I read recently that much marriage division is the result of DI-vision (meaning two visions). My vision is different from her vision. I see things from one perspective, and she sees them from another. I place greater importance on certain things, while she places higher importance on something else.
I have found that talking things through, thinking aloud together, and trying not to be overly defensive with “my position” can help. Men need to share “why” they feel a certain way about a matter, while she should try to see things from our perspective.
Doing this may not resolve differences in quickly, (but then again it might) so it’s worth trying. We also need to pray and seek Divine guidance in the areas of our division. There may be fears, insecurities, or other areas of sin that need to be confessed and corrected. It may help to get together with another couple you both respect and share with them the challenges you are facing in your marriage.
Honoring Your Wife:
Finally, we husbands are advised to honor our wives:
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7).
Let’s not get sidetracked on the “weaker” comment, but notice that how you treat your wife will influence your spiritual life… like hinder your prayers!
If your marriage is challenging right now, is there any way in which you are not honoring your wife? Are you giving her the value that is due her as a woman, wife and mother?