Author: Scott Chafee

Scott serves on staff at King’s Grant Baptist Church in Virginia Beach.

How to Start a Small Group

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Starting a small group can sound intimidating, but it really doesn’t have to be. Think of it more as gathering a few friends to get to know each other better and to have some discussion around spiritual matters. It takes some initiative and ownership; a group does not just come together because you have a sign up. Inviting people can be the best way to build your group.

Remember that we seek to fulfill the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20) through small groups; Jesus was the leader of a small group, so we want to use his method! One key Bible passage for me is Mark 3:13-15.

  1. Jesus spends time in prayer over who he would have in his small group.
  2. Jesus chooses the twelve to be with him.
  3. Jesus then send them out on a mission.

I anticipate that we can have several new small groups gathered around these criteria:

  1. Groups formed by topics of interest.
  2. Groups formed by location of residence.
  3. Groups formed by age and life stage.
  4. Groups formed by dynamics or personality of the leader.

Here are a few practical tips to help you get started:

  • Remember that you’re not alone! God knows everything about you and He knew that you would be asked to help facilitate this group. No matter if you’re a seasoned veteran or if this is your first time, God is waiting on you to call on Him for help. God promises that He’ll never leave us or forsake us, so relax!
  • Pray. One of the most important principles of spiritual leadership is to realize you can’t do this on your own. No matter how long we’ve been leading, we need the power of the Holy Spirit. Lean on Him… He will help you.
  • Invite some friends. Don’t be afraid to ask people to come to your group. You will be surprised how many people are open to such a study, especially when you let them know that the study is only for a set number of weeks. Whether you have 4 or 14 in your group, it can be a powerful experience. You should probably plan on at least an hour and a half for your group meeting.
  • Get your materials. You will need to get the teaching materials from KGBC. A copy of the student guide is not always necessary, since the group leader can ask the questions in the group. A note pad can be helpful for questions, responses and remembering what has been said.
  • Prepare for your meeting ahead of time.
    • Spend time in prayer asking God to come into your group’s presence.
    • Ask God for the ability to help your group move past the content to the more important issues in life. Be sure to pray for your group members by name.
    • Ask God to use you and your members to touch the heart of every person collectively.
  • Make people feel welcome. Coming to someone’s home for the first time can be a bit awkward and uncomfortable. Have everything ready and in place before people arrive for the first group meeting. Once people start arriving, 100% of your focus should be on the people coming. Create a warm and friendly environment that makes everyone feel comfortable and included.
  • Seek first to understand, then to be understood. The old adage is true, “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” That’s why it’s so important that you respond well to those who take the risk of answering your questions. Remember to affirm a person when they speak even if they give the wrong answer. If you disagree, take the blame for the miscommunication and then restate the question for clarity, then ask, “How about someone else?”
  • When you ask a question. Openly communicate with your group ahead of time that silence is okay and model that you are comfortable with silence as you give people time to think about their answer.
  • Ask others what they think before you share. Great facilitators implement the 30-70 rule. They speak 30% of the time while their group members speak 70% of the time. The key is asking better questions that get people talking. The only time that you may want to deviate from this rule is when you are asking for a personal application. In those cases, it may be appropriate to take the lead, especially if the application requires becoming open and vulnerable.
  • Show interest with your body language. One of the best ways to connect with people is to actively listen to them. Great listeners not only use their ears but their entire body. When thinking about listening non-verbally, remember the acronym (SOLER) which stands for:
    • Sight: face people and look at them.
    • Open: adopt an open posture.
    • Lean: lean slightly forward.
    • Eyes: maintain good eye contact.
    • Relax: be relaxed and natural.
  • Be mindful of quiet zones. It’s incredibly important for facilitators to be sensitive to new people or others in the group who are a little reluctant or are not yet ready to add to the conversation or to pray out loud. If you notice a “quiet zone” try not to put added pressure on people who are not ready to share by going “around the circle” for prayer requests or comments. Instead, encourage individuals gently by asking questions like: “How about someone else?” or “Would someone who hasn’t shared like to add anything?”
  • Occasionally sub-group. This can be very powerful, especially after the group gets comfortable with one another. Sub-grouping involves breaking up into smaller groups after the lesson. It’s easier for people to apply what they are learning if they experience a little love and support. Also, those who are unaccustomed to praying out loud will feel more comfortable trying it with just one or two others. Remind these smaller groups that they don’t have to pray out loud if they feel uncomfortable!
  • Handling the constant talker. Handling a group member who intentionally or unintentionally dominates your group time can be one of the biggest challenges for facilitators. It’s important at the outset of the group to share that it’s your hope that everyone in the group gets a chance to add to the group discussion. If a group member doesn’t “take the hint” from your suggestion of asking people who haven’t yet shared to share, then it’s probably appropriate to take more drastic steps. One easy way to dissuade the constant talker is to make sure you limit eye contact with this person. When you make eye contact, it communicates to the dominator that it’s appropriate to speak. You may want to strategically sit this person on your immediate left hand side. If the behavior persists, it may be appropriate to ask this person to help you encourage others to share by praying privately for those individuals who are reluctant to join in.
  • Love your group. Maybe the most important thing you bring to the group is your personal care for them. If you will pray for them, encourage them, call them, e-mail them, involve them, and love on them, God will be pleased and you will have a lot of fun along the way.

Profile of a Small Group Coach

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As the church grows, I anticipate the need for many more new small groups; which means that we need leaders willing to step out in faith to make an impact on our community and eternity by shepherding other people. The pastor literally cannot do it alone.

Small group leaders are needed to shepherd a group of about 6-12 people. Out of this group the intent is to develop other leaders from within the group who will also be committed to the Great Commission and is looking forward to the day he or she can birth another small group of their own.

When we have several small groups meeting around the city or at church, there will come a time when we need small group coaches to help shepherd the small group leaders. Sounds confusing until you understand the Jethro model of ministry organization.

Catch this scene:

Moses has a father-in-law, Jethro, who stops by while the Israelites are camped in the wilderness near the mountain of God (Exodus 18:5). Moses tells him all the cool stuff God is doing for them (Exodus 18:8) and Jethro praises God (Exodus 18:10). The next day Jethro catches Moses at work, making decisions for the people (since Moses was the guy able to inquire of the Lord) and asks what he is doing, because it doesn’t look good (Exodus 18:14, 17).

Jethro said he needed to be involved in leadership training to teach the leaders how to minister to the majority of the people (Exodus 18:20, 21) bringing only the difficult cases to Moses. So, Moses takes the advice and developed a system of leadership and accountability for thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens (Exodus 18:25). Here’s what it would look like (to the right):

Snapshot of a Coach:

To serve, care for and develop a huddle of small group hosts (about 5 groups).

Coach Qualifications:

  • Must have a heart for reaching people and shepherding them.
  • A Person of FAITH:
    • Faithful: They follow through with commitments, proven track record of responsibility and follow-through.
    • Available: Willing to focus on coaching by making time to lead and to develop as a leader.
    • Initiative: Self-starter, takes responsibility, asks questions, proposes solutions, moves toward problems.
    • Teachable: Values learning and developing, listens well, takes instruction from many sources, values correction and criticism, not enslaved to their own ideology, spirit of humility.
    • Honest: Transparent, knowable, authentic, truthful, accurate, willing to confront when necessary.
  • Growing walk with God, strong character and a commitment to God’s redemptive plan.
  • The ability to lead leaders and hosts: encourage and hold accountable, people developer, team builder.
  • Ability to work a system and a plan; understanding authority and responsibility, taking initiative.
  • Good people skills: able to connect emotionally and build relationships with others.
  • Spiritual Gifts: They may include leadership, wisdom, discernment, shepherding and encouragement.

Profile of a Small Group Leader

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I feel that small groups are the key to developing people into fully devoted followers of Christ. They are the place where people make connections to God and to one another. The Great Commission is a command of Christ that is given to individual believers, not to the church at large (Matthew 28:18, 19, 20). If we really believe that, it is an insult to our faith if we don’t seriously ask the question, “What can I do to help fulfill the Great Commission?” I submit to you that nearly anyone can learn how to lead a small group.

The key is not to focus so much on the teaching part. We all feel inadequate to teach others the Bible concerning spiritual things; after all, we are all just sinners saved by grace, no one is perfect. But do not let that false humility keep you from obeying the commands of Christ. I feel the better role of a small group leader is that of a shepherd more than a teacher (read here about the difference). God uses our weaknesses to bring himself glory (1 Corinthians 1:25, 27, 4:10, 2 Corinthians 12:10).

So, here is a brief summary of what I expect out of a small group leader:

Purpose:

To host or facilitate a small group to love God, love others and make disciples.

Qualifications:

  • Has a heart for God.
  • Has a teachable spirit.
  • No addiction or moral issues (drugs, alcohol, cohabitation, etc.) that would set a bad example for others to follow or bring shame on the name of Jesus Christ.
  • No current marital struggles (i.e. infidelity, separation, divorce in process, etc.).

Commitment:

  • Will dedicate enough time to adequately facilitate the small group (average of three hours/week).
  • Will communicate updated group roster information to me (or a small groups coach).
  • Will participate in leader training meetings provided by KGBC.

Priorities:

  • Cultivate Relationships: Build a sense of community within the group through interaction, mutual prayer, and follow-up outside the group meeting time.
  • Promote Shared Ownership: Every group member should contribute to the group in some way (discussion leader, activity planner, follow-up calls, food, host home, etc.).
  • Identify Potential Group Leaders: Keep an eye out for others within the small group who may be candidates to host or lead a small group down the line.

A Shortage of Men in the Church

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On Saturday February 26, the Men of Steel had a Men’s Breakfast and I handed out this information, (I will post the talk by our guest speaker at another time).

Men are absent from the church. The church may be led by men (for the most part), but the influence of women has kept most men in society out of the church. I’m reading a book by David Murrow that attempts to address the topic, “Why men hate going to church” (I’ll post a few of these insights at a later time, too). For now, let’s agree that there is a gender gap in the church, and here are the facts:

  • The typical U.S. Congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61% female, 39% male. This gender gap shows up in all age categories. [1]
  • On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches. [2]
  • This Sunday almost 25 percent of married, churchgoing women will worship without their husbands. [3]
  • Midweek activities often draw 70 to 80 percent female participants. [4]
  • The majority of church employees are women (except for ordained clergy, who are overwhelmingly male). [5]
  • Over 70 percent of the boys who are being raised in church will abandon it during their teens and twenties. Many of these boys will never return. [6]
  • More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only one out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church. [7]
  • Churches overseas report gender gaps of up to nine women for every adult man in attendance. [8]
  • Christian universities are becoming convents. The typical Christian college in the U.S. enrolls almost 2 women for every one man. [9]
  • Fewer than 10% of U.S. churches are able to establish or maintain a vibrant men’s ministry. [10]

Church is good for men:

  • Churchgoers are more likely to be married and express a higher level of satisfaction with life. Church involvement is the most important predictor of marital stability and happiness. [11]
  • Church involvement moves people out of poverty. Its also correlated with less depression, more self-esteem and greater family and marital happiness. [12]
  • Religious participation leads men to become more engaged husbands and fathers. [13]
  • Teens with religious fathers are more likely to say they enjoy spending time with dad and that they admire him. [14]

And men are good for the church:

  • A study from Hartford Seminary found that the presence of involved men was statistically correlated with church growth, health, and harmony. Meanwhile, a lack of male participation is strongly associated with congregational decline. [15]

 

FOOTNOTES:

[1] “U.S. Congregational Life Survey – Key Findings,” 29 October 2003, [ Go ]

[2] This statistic comes from Barna’s figures on male/female worship attendance, overlayed upon the Census 2000 numbers for adult men and women in the U.S. population.

[3] This figure takes the U.S. Census 2000 numbers for total married adults and overlaying Barna Research’s year 2000 percentages of male vs. female attendance at weekly worship services. The figures suggest at least 24.5 million married women attend church on a given weekend, but only 19 million married men attend. That’s 5.5 million more women, or 22.5%. The actual number may be even higher, because married people attend church in much greater numbers than singles.

[4] Barna Research Online, “Women are the Backbone of Christian Congregations in America,” 6 March 2000. [ Go ]

[5] Ibid.

[6] “LifeWay Research Uncovers Reasons 18 to 22 Year Olds Drop Out of Church,” PowerPoint presentation accompanying study, available at LifeWay.com.

[7] Barna, “Women are the Backbone of Christian Congregations in America.”

[8] My source gets an e-mail message about once a month from a pastor overseas whose congregation is almost totally female.

[9] Camerin Courtney, “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” Christianity Today, Single Minded. [ Go ]

[10] Based on a show of hands at the National Coalition of Men’s Ministries meeting in 2005. The consensus in the room among hundreds of men’s ministry experts was that less than 10% of congregations had any ongoing ministry to men. Compare this to the 110% of churches that offer women’s and children’s ministries.

[11, 12] “Why Religion Matters: The Impact of Religious Practice on Social Stability,” The Heritage Foundation Backgrounder, 1064, 25 January 1996. [ Go ]

[13] Penny Edgell (Becker) and Heather Hofmeister, “Work, Family and Religious Involvement for Men and Women,” Hartford Institute for Religion Research, [ Go ]

[14] Christian Smith and Phillip Kim, “Religious Youth Are More Likely to Have Positive Relationships with Their Fathers,” University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 12 July 2002, findings based on the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (1997).

[15] C. Kirk Hadaway, FACTs on Growth: A new look at the dynamics of growth and decline in American congregations based on the Faith Communities Today 2005 national survey of Congregations. Hartford Institute for Religion Research, [ Go ]

The Wisdom, Goodness, and Word of God

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This is the first lesson for the New Beginnings Bible study class at King’s Grant Baptist. Our study in the book of James begins this weekend. It is a practical little book about Christianity in blue jeans. It helps us to see what a mature believer looks like and how that person lives in the world.

Here is a brief outline of chapter one:

The Wisdom of God (1–11). You need wisdom in trials so you will not waste your suffering and miss the spiritual growth that should result. When you trust God, trials work for you and not against you; but be sure your heart is wholly yielded to Him. If your heart and mind are divided, trials will tear you apart. I want to show this video in class this Sunday:

The Goodness of God (12–20). When you realize how good God is to you, you will have no interest in the temptations the enemy puts before you. When you are tempted, count your blessings; and you will soon have strength to say no.

Have you ever thought about how to change the world? Sometimes we wonder about any goodness in the world. Why do bad things happen to good people? The better question may be, “Why do any good things happen anybody?” We are the hands and feet of God, so if God is the giver of all good gifts (James 1:17), he can certainly work through us to bring it about. This video clip suggests that if we want to change the world, start with one random act of kindness (goodness):

The Word of God (21–27). The Word gives us spiritual birth (James 1:18; 1 Peter 1:22–23). It is like seed planted in the heart that produces spiritual fruit (James 1:21). It is a mirror that helps us examine ourselves (James 1:23–25) and cleanse our lives. We must do the Word of God, not just read it or study it; the blessing is in the doing.

When we encounter God through his Word, lives are forever changed. When we read the words, we must allow them to abide in us and allow Christ to mold us into his image. Grace is the foundation of the gospel, getting something we can never earn and will never deserve. This clip shows how God’s Word, forgiveness and grace changed several generations of a family:

Here are “famous” verses we will encounter in this little book:

  1. “Count it all joy when you fall into various trials.” James 1:2
  2. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach.” James 1:5
  3. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17
  4. “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19–20
  5. “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only.” James 1:22
  6. “Faith without works is dead.” James 2:20
  7. “Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.” James 4:2–3
  8. “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6
  9. “Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” James 4:7
  10. “To him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.” James 4:17
  11. “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” James 5:16

I hope to see you this Sunday in the Welcome Center.

Promotion for a Men’s Conference

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I saw this video online and laughed out loud. I am a fan of ministry for and to men; there is such a great need to develop men to strengthen marriages and families. Check out the Men of Steel page above (that does not mean “abs of steel” like you see on the video). I would love to find creative people who can come up with promotion ideas like this. btw, God, that is a request to bring people to King’s Grant.

People’s Hearts are Carnal

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When you take a look at the American church today, it appears that those inside the church have a lifestyle quite similar to those outside the church. The question arises about how to be in the world but not of it (John 18:36, 17:14, Philippians 3:20, James 4:14, 1 Peter 5:10).

So, the age old debate goes on, can a true Christian be carnal? We first define the term “carnal” which is translated from the Greek word sarkikos, which literally means “fleshly.” Check out this passage:

And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as to infants in Christ. I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able, for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men? (1 Corinthians 3:1-3)

According to Paul, there are three classifications of believers:

  1. The Natural Man: has not received Christ.
  2. The Spiritual Man: is led and empowered by the Holy Spirit.
  3. The Carnal Man (or man of flesh): is supposedly saved, but shows no evidence of life transformation.

Notice Paul is addressing the readers as “brethren,” a term he uses almost exclusively to refer to other Christians (male or female). We can assume then that Christians can be carnal. The Bible is clear that no one is sinless (1 John 1:8), so every time we sin, we are acting carnally. The goal of the believer is to sin less this week than we did last week.

The key here is to understand that while a Christian can for a time, be carnal, a true Christian will not remain carnal for a lifetime. We are all sinners, no one is perfect. Think about how many church people today have abused the idea of a “carnal Christian” by saying that it is possible to be saved and then go on to live the rest of their lives in a completely carnal manner? They reason that since they have their “fire insurance” they can live as they please, after all, “once saved, always saved.” But how can there be no evidence of being born again or being a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)? Such a concept is completely unbiblical. We are to be changed, not living our lives the same old way we did before Christ.

  1. James 2:14, 26 make it clear that genuine faith will always result in good works.
  2. Ephesians 2:8-10 declares that while we are saved by grace alone through faith alone, that salvation will result in works.

So, can a Christian, in a time of failure or rebellion, appear to be carnal? Yes. Will a true Christian remain carnal? No (Hebrews 10:26).

Since eternal security is found Scripture, the carnal Christian is still saved. Salvation cannot be lost, because salvation is a gift of God that He will not take away (see John 10:28; Romans 8:37-39; 1 John 5:13). No one wakes in the morning wondering if he is saved or not, like salvation slipped away in the night. We can be secure and assured of our salvation. Paul reminds us that the even carnal Christian can be assured of salvation:

If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire. (1 Corinthians 3:15)

The question is not whether a person who claims to be a Christian and lives carnally has lost his salvation, but whether that person was truly saved in the first place (1 John 2:19). W. A. Crisswell once said that “the faith that fizzles at the finish was faulty at the first.” It makes sense.

Christians who become carnal in their behavior can expect God to discipline them (Hebrews 12:5-11) so they can be restored to close fellowship with Him. God’s desire in saving us is that we:

  1. Become progressively grow closer to the image of Christ (Romans 12:1-2, 8:29).
  2. Become increasingly spiritual and decreasingly carnal, which is a lifelong process known as sanctification.

What about bearing fruit? Beliefs determine actions. So, we can determine if someone is of the faith by looking at the results of faith in their lives (not just those who claim to have faith). What we have to ask ourselves when judging something is whether it bears good fruit or not. It’s not about how popular, socially acceptable or how politically correct the person is. Actions speak louder than words. These questions can be helpful when judging fruit. When properly applied, does it lead to:

  1. More good or more evil?
  2. More closeness or distance from Jesus Christ?
  3. More light or more darkness?
  4. More truth or more error?
  5. More peace or more confusion?
  6. More happiness or more misery?
  7. More friendship or more animosity?
  8. More love or more hate?

We live in a world that exchanges the truth for a lie and says evil is good and dark is light (Isaiah 5:20). Until we are delivered from our sinful flesh, there will be outbreaks of carnality. For a genuine believer in Christ, though, these outbreaks of carnality will be the exception, not the rule. We are not to judge others, but we can encourage others to move toward higher levels of commitment to Christ and his church.

People’s Hearts are Calloused

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Believe it or not, this is the last post on the life of Paul (at lease for this series in the book of Acts). Paul entered Rome and was allowed to stay by himself (Acts 28:16). It’s been a wild ride, from his family upbringing, to the Damascus Road experience, to a dungeon at midnight experiencing authentic worship, to the shipwreck and the miracles at Malta. I’m impressed with Paul, and how God used Paul’s passion and determination. This chapter in Acts provides a fitting conclusion for the book (Acts 28:16, 23, 30-31), but there are about six more years in his life, recorded in writing preserved by the Holy Spirit.

Paul is like that inflatable clown punching bag; like when you were a kid, you punch it and the weighted sand base brings it right back up. Paul came back for more. Nothing could defeat him. His passion for Christ kept him going.

The Jews came together once they knew Paul had arrived (Acts 28:17). He again tried to convince them in the Scripture that Jesus was the unmistakable Promised One. Once Paul realized that they were intentionally closing their hearts and minds to the truth, he responded with a word from Isaiah.

And he said, “Yes, go, and say to this people,
When you hear what I say, you will not understand.
When you see what I do, you will not comprehend.
For the hearts of these people are hardened,
and their ears cannot hear,
and they have closed their eyes—so their eyes cannot see,
and their ears cannot hear,
and their hearts cannot understand,
and they cannot turn to me
and let me heal them.” (Acts 28:27-27, Isaiah 6:9-10)

Don’t miss one of the most tragic elements of the Jew’s rejection: Paul was not trying to take anything away from them, God had something more to give them. Paul was not asking them not to be Jews, he just wanted them to receive their promised Messiah. In their religious system, Jesus did not fit their expectation.

How often do we cheat ourselves when we have as much as we want from God? We may have our salvation, but don’t expect me to become a fanatic about this Jesus stuff, or get involved in the church. Remember the words of Felix, “That’s enough” (Acts 24:25). God’s gift of salvation is complete and we can receive it on a daily basis:

  1. A greater filling of the Holy Spirit (Acts 4:31).
  2. A deeper wisdom (1 Corinthians 12:8).
  3. A more obvious experience of God’s activity (John 14:21).
  4. More effectiveness in service (Psalm 127:1).
  5. Character conforming to Christ (Romans 8:29).
  6. A more intimate relationship with Christ (Philippians 3:10).

Whatever the reason for our resistance, we may be just like these Jews in Paul’s day. We must be aware of the outcome when our spiritual ears don’t hear, our spiritual eyes don’t see, and our spiritual hearts become calloused.  How often are we like this:

  1. Ever hearing but never understanding (Acts 28:26): he used the word never hearing which indicates a crippling activity that will not change. The word for understanding is suneimi, meaning assembling facts into a whole, a puzzle coming together. It’s like the mind grasping ideas and see the proper relationship between them. When we continue to resist what God has for us, we may cripple our ability to understand how it all fits together. Life is so much more difficult when we do not understand. Ignorance is not really bliss.
  2. Ever seeing but never perceiving (Acts 28:26): the word for perceiving is eido, which is not actually the ability to see, but the ability to know. People who don’t see with spiritual eyes cannot comprehend how others claim to see God at work (1 Corinthians 2:14). How often to people hear a testimony of God working in their lives and unbelievers are quick to write it off as a coincidence.
  3. Developing calloused hearts (Acts 28:27): the word calloused is translated from pachuno, which really means, “to make fat.” People who continually resist God will develop fat around the heart. The heart needs exercise to be healthy. The Jews ceased to exercise their hearts, and they became calloused.

Application: God has so much to give us, and how often do we tell him, “thanks, but I have enough already?” The old saying is really true, we don’t know what we’re missing. People on the outside honestly believe that they have a good relationship with God, but they have settled for so much less than God has for them. God has a plan for keep our hearts tender toward him (2 Thessalonians 3:5, 1 Timothy 1:5). Soften your heart and allow God to make you into something fantastic.

The Bible Regarding the Hearts of the People:

  1. Callousness: Isaiah 6:10, Matthew 13:15, Acts 28:27
  2. Hardening: Exodus 7:13, 22, 8:15, 19, 32, 9:34, Deuteronomy 15:7, Psalm 95:8, Proverbs 28:14, Mark 6:51-52, John 12:40, Hebrews 3:8, 15, 4:7.
  3. Going Astray: Hebrews 3:10, 12, 15, 4:12, 10:16, 13:9, James 4:8, 5:8.
  4. Unbelief: Matthew 13:58, 17:17, Mark 6:6, 9:19, 9:24, Luke 9:41, John 20:27, 1 John 3:19-20.

Authentic Christian Community

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The final chapter in the book of Acts brings Paul to Rome (Acts 28:14), it was probably the early spring of AD 61. Some brethren heard they were coming (Acts 28:15) and they came to visit Paul from as far away as the Market of Appius (43 miles away) and the Three Inns (or Taverns – 33 miles away). Paul had planned for some time to make it to Rome but with all that had happened to him along the way, he had been prevented (Romans 1:13). It is important to note that these were not old friends of Paul, but just fellow believers in Christ.

Rome was like nothing he had experienced before, likely a million citizens in his day; and the same number of slaves. As he approached the city, he may have been overwhelmed by the vast number of people. I remember the first Memorial Day weekend I spent living at the oceanfront. The beach was literally blanket to blanket with tourists and locals. My heart was overwhelmed at the vast numbers of people, most of whom probably had no relationship with Jesus. I was reminded of Jesus’ words as he looked over Jerusalem (Matthew 23:37).

Paul had experience authentic Christian community, sort of a brotherhood. It is not masculine terminology as we use it today, but for those who shared koinonia, true community and the sharing a common life. How important are the brethren to Paul?

The Bible refers to a natural sibling of Paul only once (Acts 23:16) and a few other relatives (Romans 16:7, 11-12) yet there are at least 99 times in his letters that he refers to fellow believers as brothers. He uses the Greek word, adelphos. It came to designate a fellowship of care equivalent to a community of life.

Paul’s need is not unique. People are desperate for a sense of community, a place where “everybody knows your name.” We want to feel like we belong there. As Skip preached this past Sunday, the community of faith is so important in one’s spiritual life; we can’t do it alone (see the video below). Many people may believe in Christ as Savior but never get involved in a community of faith. What’s up with that? As Paul writes to the Romans, there are three things worth noting about Christian fellowship or community: constant prayer, Paul’s sense of obligation to other believers, and his strong commitment to equality.

  1. Paul believed in the power of prayer (Romans 1:9-10): remembering them in his prayers at all times. In many other letters we read the same things. Paul sought their best and asked God for big things, probably because Paul knew God had big things to give.
  2. Paul believed that part of his calling was to share his gifts and faith with other Christians (Romans 1:11-12): He was looking out for others. The church is a unit, a body, made up of many parts (1 Corinthians 12:12), so it is important to recognize how we are connected, and we need each other.
  3. Paul had a desire for all people to come to faith in Christ (Romans 1:14, 15, 16): no matter their background. Sometimes we struggle with equity, because prejudice (by race, gender, status) is an ugly snake that rises within a community. We tend to be selective on who we allow close to us.

Application: How are you when it comes to prayer? Do you regularly pray throughout the day? For decisions? For your witness to others? For integrity? For your marriage? How about praying WITH your wife? Do you intercede for lost people around you? For your children? For your neighbors? Prayer strengthens relationship.

When it comes to being a part of the community of faith, do you tend to ride like the Lone Ranger? Are you more like Superman or Batman? The difference you may ask? Superman is always alone, there was none like him, he had no superhero partner. Batman had a buddy, a partner in fighting crime. What part of the body of Christ are you? How are you serving God and others? What are your gifts and talents that can be used for the kingdom of God? Do you have a sense of obligation when it comes to other people and their spiritual growth?

When it comes to equity, are there hidden prejudices about which you are ashamed? Do you look at race, gender or economic status before you open yourself to people? Do you really believe that people without Christ are lost and in need of a Savior? Seek forgiveness for past attitudes and open yourself to the authentic community that comes from the brothers and sisters in Christ.

Being a part of a Christian community helps us to grow into the people of God he desires for us to become. The believers from the Market at Appius and the Three Inns may not have known Paul personally, but they had a common bound and offered encouragement to a man on a mission. He was encouraged by strangers that were a part of the community of faith. Their faces were unfamiliar but each one had been washed in the blood of Christ.