Author: Scott Chafee

Scott serves on staff at King’s Grant Baptist Church in Virginia Beach.

Six Aspects of Prayer

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Six Aspects of Prayer: a service of prayer at The Well, October 23, 2011, facilitated by Scott Chafee and Rick Heil.

Today is going to be a little different. Our focus is on prayer, and we will look at six aspects of prayer that you may have not considered before today. Oswald Chambers once said that, “prayer does not equip us for greater works, prayer is the greater work.” How often do we rush through prayer because we have more important tasks to get on with? If we are intent on living our lives free from God’s influence and direction, perhaps prayer is not all that important. But if we claim to be one of his children, how can we neglect such a necessary activity?

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

So, as Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, when you pray…

1. Forgiveness: we must be in touch with God daily because we sin daily. We are a part of a curse that beats us down in bondage to sin and the guilt it brings. God desires to set us free. Just as we need food daily; we pray that God would give us our daily bread. This is not future bread, since tomorrow has enough trouble of its own. So we pray today, daily, for the Lord of the present to give us strength to carry on through this life. We pray for forgiveness and victory so that we may walk in a manner worthy of being one of God’s children.

Personal Reflection: Let us silently reflect upon our own sinfulness; confess that sin and receive the assurance that God’s grace forgives us, cleanses us, and restores us. Jesus, hear our prayers of confession to You. We thank You for forgiveness and do not take it lightly. Help us to be as repulsed by our sin as You are. As we rise to walk in newness of life, we thank you for Your amazing grace.

Sing: Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)

2. Perspective: it is essential that we see life from God’s perspective, and that only comes through prayer. Prayer is not only talking to God, it is listening to him. As we pray, we go beyond our needs and often selfish prayers and become advocates for the needs of the “least of these” all around us. When our perspective changes, we begin to see the world differently. Sometimes our problems are not as earthshaking as we first believed when we compare our situation with others around us. We will often complain of having no shoes until we meet someone with no feet.

Pray: A guided prayer for God’s perspective on the needs all around us. “Who are the least of these that you see each week? How have you met the needs of lost people in your circle of influence? Ask God for the ability to look out for the interests of others more important than yourself. Put into your mind the face of someone you know is hurting, and ask God to reveal how you might help them.”

3. Guidance: we cannot walk through this life on our own, we will always make a mess of our lives when we try to go through life being in charge of our own spirituality. We need the guidance of God and to allow him to show us the way we should go. We are very poor at making unselfish decisions, so what we need right now is a heart transplant; we need to open our hearts and develop a desire to know God…

Sing: Open the Eyes of My Heart
Sing: A Heart Like Yours

We must pray every day for guidance. How else will we get a heart like his? James tells us that if anyone lacks wisdom, he should “ask God, who give generously to all without finding fault, it will be given to him” (James 1:5). Third Day has a song with a tremendous message on guidance; it’s called “Revelation.” The lyrics go like this:

My life, Has led me down the road that’s so uncertain, And now I am left alone and I am broken, Trying to find my way, Trying to find the faith that’s gone.

This time, I know that you are holding all the answers, I’m tired of losing hope and taking chances, On roads that never seem, To be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation, Show me what to do, Cause I’ve been trying to find my way, I haven’t got a clue. Tell me should I stay here, Or do I need to move? Give me a revelation, I’ve got nothing without You, I’ve got nothing without You.

The point is that we all need prayer to orient our lives. Part of that new orientation is allowing God to direct our paths, to show us the way to go, after all, Jeremiah tells us that, “the heart is desperately wicked, who can trust it,” so we desperately need a heart transplant. Then we begin to understand the importance of Christian community.

4. Community: we do not live out the Christian faith in a vacuum, we live in community. In this individualistic and self-centered society, we value privacy more than a sense of community. When we attempt to life a Christian life outside of the community of faith, we slowly begin to burn out, like a log removed from a bonfire.

When it comes to prayer, we may pray individually but we are a part of a larger praying church. When we pray, we build relationships not only with God but with each other. Jesus said, “where two or three gather together in my name, there I am with them” (Matthew 18:20). Just as in the early church, we gather together to pray and to worship; which affects us much more deeply than when we are just by ourselves. The fellowship of prayer helps us to grow, and it helps the church become the community that God intends.

Pray: for God’s guidance (individually and corporately) and for the community of faith.

Offering: this is not a distraction from worship, rather making our offerings to God is a part of worship. We cannot read the Bible and not see how important it was and is to bring an offering to the Lord.

5. Action: we are called to accomplish God’s work in the world. It is not praying first and then getting busy; remember that prayer is the greater work; prayer is the work of the church and therefore the work of the Christian. Prayer is not the last thing we do because we should pray without ceasing. Our minds need to be filled with the mission and purpose of God in our lives and in the world. How can we live in this world, see from God’s perspective, and not be moved toward action?

Prayer makes things happen: as we pray, it does not change God, but it changes us. Oswald Chambers also said that, “prayer does not change things; prayer changes us and we change things.” When it comes to taking action in the church, we must all seek a place to serve before we seek a place to sit.

After we pray for forgiveness, pray that God would help you see ourselves and the world from his perspective, pray about how God is going to guide you, then experience life through the community of faith, and then allow God to move you toward action.

Pray: for God to move us toward action and service.

6. Response: it is one thing to respond to God with or by our actions, but it is another to respond to God for who he is. In prayer, we all need to respond to who God is. We often believe that prayer is for the purpose of meeting our own needs. So when we pray, we worship and we give our adoration to God for who he is, not for what he has done. Our praying is a response to who God is. Listen to the psalmist as he does this (Psalm 96 on CD).

Sing: Our God
Sing: I Could Sing of Your Love Forever
Sing: How Great is Our God

Oswald Chambers said of prayer: “Prayer is the evidence that I am spiritually concentrated on God.” When we don’t feel like praying, it will often be evidence that we have slipped away into our own world of selfishness. When we are concentrated on God, the natural flow from our heart is prayer.

Chambers also says: “Prayer does not equip us for the greater work; prayer is the greater work. We think of prayer as a commonsense exercise of our higher powers in order to prepare us for God’s work. In the teaching of Jesus Christ prayer is the working of the miracle of Redemption in me which produces the miracle of Redemption in others by the power of God. The way fruit remains is by prayer, but remember it is prayer based on the agony of Redemption, not on my agony. Only a child gets prayer answered; a wise man does not.” Remember that prayer changes us, and then we change things.

Prayer is the development of relationship, not a formula for personal requests. We continue to bear fruit by the means of prayer. Let today be the day that we refuse to ignore this vital part of our spiritual lives.

Benediction: as a group we will pray for the experience of today.

To Serve or Not to Serve?

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Tonight the topic for my small group is, Ransomed by God, out of Hebrew 9:11-28. The purpose of the study is to clarify that Christ was God himself, sacrificing himself for sinful humanity. The theological doctrine we are covering is substitution. I love this key verse out of Mark, he is so to the point:

But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Mark 10:43-45)

  1. What does it mean to willingly be the slave of everyone else? What does this look like in daily life?
  2. Why do you think God’s plan was for Jesus to be a servant rather than an earthly king?

Since the context is about leadership, here are some thoughts from Ken Blanchard regarding self-serving leaders vs. servant leaders:

One of the quickest ways to tell the difference between a self-serving leader and a servant leader is how they handle feedback:

  • A self-serving leader always fears he will lose his position. They focus on protecting their status, so when there is feedback, it is seen as a threat to their leadership and position.
  • A servant leader sees leadership as an act of service. They welcome feedback as a way they can provide better service in the future.

There is generally a temptation to hold on to position, so we are all self-serving to a degree. Is there anything more self-serving than a new baby. They don’t come home from the hospital asking how they can help around the house. Life is a journey of moving from a self-serving to a serving heart. Babies mature into adults, and eventually we all must learn that life is more about what you give, not what you get. Every morning we should ask the question, “Which type of leader will I be today?”

Here is how to combat the temptation to be self-serving; surrender your motives and actions to Christ and role model how Jesus would lead. (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Why the Steve Jobs Biography?

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I recently discovered that Steve Jobs, founder and CEO of the Apple empire, spent a lot of time toward the end of his life allowing research for his own biography. Why you might ask? Check out this article, re-posted here:

When Steve Jobs official biography was announced, everyone wondered why the notoriously private Steve Jobs would let Walter Isaacson interview him over 40 times, let Isaacson talk to family and friends and pretty much have unprecedented access to Jobs’ entire life. Turns out Jobs had a very personal reason.

Isaacson saw him a few weeks before Jobs passed and finally asked him that very question, “Why had he been so eager, during close to 50 interviews and conversations over the course of two years, to open up so much for a book when he was usually so private?” Steve Jobs responded:

“I wanted my kids to know me,” he said. “I wasn’t always there for them, and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did.”

With all the things Jobs did in his life, it’s nice to see his heart was in the right place at the end.

Another writer in the Daily Mail (from the UK) goes on to say that the book is ultimately a love letter to his family. He wasn’t there for his family, but now his children will be able to read all about him in this posthumous biography in order to get to know their dad.

Steve Jobs left behind over $6 billion in personal assets. That’s more money than many of us will ever see in our lifetimes combined, but none of his huge fortune will buy a relationship with his children now. Steve Jobs made choices which earned him a lot of money, but apparently he alienated his family in the process. How sad.

Can you imagine the regret you would feel if you spent your last days apologizing to your family for not being there? With all of the advanced technology, Steve Jobs never created an app that would build a relationship with his children.

This story is shared for only one reason: don’t buy into the lie that your job, hobbies, money, financial success, business, fame, pleasure or prestige are worth sacrificing your relationships with your wife and children.

Too many of us fathers make these same poor choices. Maybe your father made poor choices as well, so you are merely passing on the family tradition.

Steve Job’s position at work has already been replaced, and Apple will continue to grow and develop new products for our enjoyment and productivity, but his family lost an irreplaceable person. Don’t be that guy.

The Forgotten God

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I am a fan of Francis Chan, the author of Crazy Love and The Forgotten God. He’s a great speaker and is tremendously challenging. I will one day share information from his books, but that will be another day. Today I will share just a glimpse of the Forgotten God.

The Forgotten God is actually the Holy Spirit. Some faith traditions quote The Apostles’ Creed, which says, “I believe in the Holy Spirit.” Author J. B. Phillips once said, “Every time we say [this] we mean that we believe that [the Holy Spirit] is a living God able and willing to enter human personality and change it.”

With the introduction of the Star Wars movies, sometimes we forget that the Holy Spirit is not an impersonal force. The Bible describes The Holy Spirit as God. He possesses the attributes of God:

  1. He is present everywhere (Psalm 139:7-8)
  2. He knows all things (1 Corinthians 2:10-11)
  3. He has infinite power (Luke 1:35)
  4. He does things that only God can do:
    1. Create (Genesis 1:2)
    2. Give life (Romans 8:2).

The Holy Spirit is equal in every way with the other Persons of the Trinity—the Father and the Son.

The Holy Spirit is a Person who engages in personal ways with us:

  1. He grieves when we sin (Ephesians 4:30)
  2. He teaches us (1 Corinthians 2:13)
  3. He prays for us (Romans 8:26)
  4. He guides us (John 16:13)
  5. He gives us spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 12:11)
  6. He assures us of salvation (Romans 8:16)

The Holy Spirit indwells us if we have received forgiveness of sin through Jesus. He desires to transform us so that we become more and more like Jesus. Let’s cooperate with the Spirit by reading God’s Word and relying on His power to obey what we learn.

I’ve heard it said and believe this to be true: the Christian who neglects the Holy Spirit is like a lamp that’s not plugged in. He is the power of God working through us.

Comfort During Troubles?

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Some people believe that troubles ought to go away once we become a Christian, after all, should not God protect his own from hardship and pain. A loving earthly father would do as much. But there is a lot to be said for experiential learning. Do we really understand love if we know nothing about hate or apathy? Do we really understand joy if there is no sorrow? When God comforts, do our troubles really go away? Check this out:

May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. Jesus gave his life for our sins, just as God our Father planned, in order to rescue us from this evil world in which we live. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen. (Galatians 1:3-5)

It seems that we get grace and peace to hold up through the tough times. So, do troubles go away? If that were always so, people would turn to God only out of a desire to be relieved of pain and not out of love for him. We must understand that being comforted can also mean receiving strength, encouragement, and hope to deal with our troubles. The more we suffer, the more comfort God gives us. God walks through this life of trouble along side of us.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, allow God to comfort you. Remember that every trial you endure will help you comfort other people who are suffering similar troubles (2 Corinthians 1:4, 5, 6, 7).

Are People Married for Eternity?

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What is this life all about? Is it preparation for the age to come? Where does the soul go after we depart this planet? Will there be a resurrection? If so, what is the point? Do we spend eternity in heaven with Jesus like an unending worship service? Will we still be married to the one we love? Will she be waiting on the other side, longing to be reunited? Let’s take a look at Luke 20:27-40.

“But now, as to whether the dead will be raised—even Moses proved this when he wrote about the burning bush. Long after Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob had died, he referred to the Lord as ‘the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. Now he is not God of the dead, but of the living, for all live before him.” (Luke 20:37-38)

As Jesus taught in the temple courts, several religious leaders from the Sadducees approached him in an effort to trip him up theologically. The Sadducees were a priestly group of elite leaders who based their theology on the Torah only, the five books of Moses. That is why they did not affirm the resurrection of the dead, a view that comes out of  later sections of the Old Testament. This put the Sadducees at odds with other Jews of the time, including the Pharisees. The Sadducees believed that the soul perished along with the body. They would have answered the question “What happens after we die?” simply: “Nothing. When we die, we are dead. Period.”

In Luke 20:27-40, the Sadducees approached Jesus with a theological problem they thought invalidated the resurrection of the dead. It seems likely that they had discovered that Jesus, like the Pharisees, affirmed the resurrection doctrine. Suppose a widow remarries several times, the Sadducees proposed, when she and her husbands are resurrected, whose wife will she be? Since the Sadducees, along with all other Jews of their day, rejected the rightness of polygamy, their hypothetical situation seemed to show the foolishness of the resurrection.

Jesus responded to this challenge in a way that the Sadducees did not expect. He revealed that marriage “is for people here on earth” (Luke 20:34). In the age to come, when people are resurrected, they will not be married. Moreover, Jesus provided evidence from the Torah for the reality of life after death. The “God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob,” as revealed to Moses at the burning bush (Exodus 3:6), is the God of the living. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are alive in God (Luke 20:38).

Jesus’ vision of life after death can be upsetting, not only to first-century Sadducees, but also to Christians today. We sometimes assume that the after-life will include marriage as we have known it. For those of us who are deeply connected to our spouses, it’s hard to imagine an eternity without being married to the one we love. Yet, if we trust God’s goodness, we have confidence that the life of the age to come will be wondrous beyond our imagination.

When it comes to the question of what happens after we die, there is much that we don’t yet know. But we do know that we will enter into a fullness of life in God, eternal life, abundant life, life as it was meant to be.

How do you respond to Jesus’ teaching about life after death? When you think of what God’s future holds, what do you envision? What do you hope for?

Characteristics of a NT Church

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This is teaching from Rick Warren. As always, how do we see King’s Grant measuring up to this standard?

If you want your church to have the impact of the early church, the book of Acts shows us eight essential characteristics we need in our congregations:

Supernatural power (Acts 2:3-4): We don’t just talk about God; we experience Him. This is what makes the church different from every other organization on the planet. We have the Holy Spirit. God promised His Spirit to help His church.

Use everybody’s language (Acts 2:4): This passage isn’t about speaking in tongues. It’s about the gospel being communicated in real languages. People actually heard the early Christians speak in their own languages — whether that was Farsi, Swahili, German, Greek, or whatever. God says from the very first day of the church that the Good News is for everyone. It’s not just for Jews. It’s amazing grace for every race. But the power of Acts isn’t just about the language of your country of origin. It’s also about languages spoken only in particular subcultures — like mothers of preschoolers or people into hip-hop or accountants or truck drivers. God says in His church, everyone’s language gets used. Are you helping your people use their “language” to reach people with the Good News?

Use everyone’s gifts (Acts 2:14, 16, 19, 21): In New Testament times, there weren’t spectators in the Church. There were only contributors; 100 percent participation. Not everyone is called to be a pastor, but everyone is called to serve God. If you want your church to have the impact of the early Church, get everyone involved in the ministry of your church. Make it clear to everyone in the church that passivity isn’t an option. If they want to just sit around and soak up the service of others, let them find another church.

Offer life-changing truth (Acts 2:22-40): The early Church didn’t offer pop psychology, polite moralisms, or nice-sounding inspiration. We must always offer the truth of the gospel. God’s Word has the power to change lives. No other message changes lives like the Good News. No other message changes a guy from a wife-beater to being a loving, responsible husband. It’s when the truth of God’s Word gets into us that we change.

In Acts 2, Peter gives the very first Christian sermon, quoting the Old Testament book of Joel. Peter shares the Gospel in this message. Acts 2 says that the early church devoted itself to the “apostles’ teaching” – the Bible. God’s Word gave the early church power.

Provide loving support (Acts 2:42): The first church loved and cared for one another. The Bible says in Acts 2:42, “They took part in the fellowship, sharing in the fellowship meals and in praying together.” One translation says, “They were like family to each other.” The church isn’t a business. It’s not an organization. It’s not a social club. It’s a family. For our churches to experience the power of the early Church, we’ve got to become the family that they were.

Enjoy joyful worship (Acts 2:46): When the early Church gathered, they celebrated, “praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people.” We must understand and teach that worship is a celebration. It’s a festival, not a funeral. It’s the party for the kingdom of God. When worship is joyful, people want to be there because people are looking for joy. Do you think if our churches were full of glad hearts, joyful words, and hopeful lives, we’d attract other unbelievers? Sure they would.

Make generous sacrifices (Acts 2:44-45): The Bible teaches us to make generous sacrifices for the sake of the gospel. The Christians during the Roman Empire were the most generous people in the empire. In fact, they were famous for their generosity. They literally shared everything, with one another and the poor. The Bible says the early church “shared everything they had … .” That’s a church worth dying for; which is exactly what first-century Christians did. They’d rather die with gladiators and lions in the Coliseum than renounce their faith and their brothers and sisters in God’s family.

Create exponential growth (Acts 2:47): When our churches demonstrate the first seven characteristics of the early Church, growth is automatic. People may have looked at the first Christians as weird, but they liked what they were doing. They saw their love for one another, the miracles that took place in their midst, and the joy that was in their lives, and they wanted what the Christians had.

Is Volunteerism Old School?

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In modern society in America, we are way too busy for our own good; and there is really not much difference when you look into the church. We’re busy with worship, classes, small groups, meetings, missions and events. I wonder if people think they come to church to find rest, therefore they are not seeking to get involved in acts of service. I’m not talking about everyone because there are a number of people who have stepped up in times of need to volunteer their time and efforts. But what about the vast majority of people who walk through the doors of our facility?

We must admit that we are a consumer society. We expect customer service to be exemplary. We expect our needs to be met. We desire for others to take care of us. I wonder how regular church attendees see what happens on Sunday mornings. Do they believe that it all just comes together by accident? Do they understand that it comes together only because we have a few dedicated volunteers who have taken ownership of the ministry?

I read recently about a church that took a volunteer day off. People came to worship and Sunday School only to discover: that there were no greeters to welcome them, no ushers to hand them a bulletin, no bulletins because those responsible to print them took the day off, no teachers in the classes, no preschool volunteers in the nursery, no sound system operators, no one to make coffee, no one to turn on the A/C, no one to sing in the choir, no one to set up chairs or take them down… you get the point.

  1. Why is it so difficult to get volunteers to come early and set up chairs in The Well?
  2. Why is it so hard to get people on a greeting rotation?
  3. Why do people avoid the preschool, choosing not to care for the most vulnerable of our community?
  4. Why do people fail to turn in a completed Connection Card?

We broadcast our needs and it appears to fall on deaf ears. Does a personal invitation cause someone to be more committed and moved into a place of service? If so, that is going to limit who volunteers. If we take a sober self-assessment of who we are in Christ, understanding how God has made us, recognizing that we worship in a community of believers, we should come to worship each Sunday looking for a place to serve before looking for a place to sit.

Volunteering at The Well: we are in desperate need of people willing to commit to being trained on the sound and video equipment regarding the Well. Who will step up? Who will you recommend? We need a few people who are computer savvy yet willing to learn our system (it’s not really that hard)! Right now we have ONE guy who has not missed a Sunday in six months. What is going to happen the day he wakes up sick on a Sunday morning, or plans a vacation?

Audio-Visual Workshop: We have scheduled Sunday October 23, noon-2:00pm. This workshop is for those who have been enlisted and others who are interested in learning how to work behind the sound cart at The Well. RSVP is needed since lunch is provided. Contact Scott Chafee for details.

The Well Ministry Teams:

  1. We still have needs for the Welcome Team: stand at the doors or greet people seated in the room.
  2. The Prayer Team: being willing to pray for people after the service, initiating conversations after the service ends, offering to pray for them this week.
  3. Setting up Chairs at 9:00 on Sunday: coming early on Sunday to make the room ready for worship.
  4. Ushers for the offering: collecting the offering and putting the gifts and tithes into an envelope to be taken to the safe.

We are going to promote signups beginning October 16.

We have so much potential for growth, but we cannot serve more people if we don’t get more volunteers to make it all happen. President Kennedy said it best back on January 20, 1961, (but I will put it into the context of the church): “And so my fellowship [believers], ask not what your [church] can do for you, ask what you can do for your [church]. My fellow citizens of the [congregation], ask not what [volunteers] will do for you, but what together we can do for the [kingdom of God].”

Keep the Son in Your Eyes,

Scott Chafee
King’s Grant Baptist Church
Knowing Christ and Making Him Known
www.KingsGrantBaptist.com
www.Come2TheWell.com
www.ChandeKids.org

Factors That Impact Worship

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Before I get into the article, let me post this update: there are two factors…

  1. The work of the Holy Spirit
  2. The preparation of the worshiper

PHYSICAL FACTORS THAT IMPACT THE WORSHIP EXPERIENCE: I am a fan of Rick Warren and he writes that there are six factors that impact a worship experience. I put this into our context at the Well, so how does King’s Grant measure up?

Rick suggests we walk through our church facilities with a photographer and take pictures from the eyes of a visitor. We become so familiar with our surroundings that we become oblivious to the faded paint, the frayed carpet, the chipped pulpit, the stack of stuff on the piano, or the burned-out light bulbs overhead.

One way to combat this tendency is to do an Environmental Impact Report on your church. Take pictures throughout your facilities and show them to your leaders in order to figure out what needs to be changed.

Here are some environmental factors you need to pay close attention to:

1. Lighting: Lighting has a profound effect on people’s moods. Inadequate lighting dampens the spirit of a service. Shadows across a speaker’s face reduce the impact of any message.

Most churches are far too dark. I’ve noticed that even churches with plenty of windows often cover them up. Somehow, churches have gotten the idea, maybe from funeral parlors, that dimming the lights creates a more “spiritual” mood. I completely disagree.

I believe that church buildings should be bright and full of light. God’s character is expressed in light. 1 John 1:5 says, “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.” I believe churches should be the brightest public buildings. Light was the very first thing God created. God said, “Let there be light!” (Genesis 1:3) Today, I think God would like to say this to thousands of churches.

If you want to wake up your services, brighten up your environment. Take the curtains off your windows! Throw open the windows and doors! Turn on all the lights!

2. Sound: Invest in the best sound system you can afford. If you’re trying to cut costs, do it in some other area. Don’t skimp here.

It doesn’t matter how persuasive the message is if people can’t hear it in a pleasing manner. A tinny, fuzzy sound system can undermine the most gifted musician and incapacitate the most profound preacher. Nothing can destroy a holy moment faster than a loud blast of feedback!

3. Seating: Both the comfort and the arrangement of your seating dramatically affect the mood of any service. The mind can only absorb what the seat can endure! Uncomfortable seating is a distraction that the devil loves to use.

If you can get away replacing the pews, I’d advise it. In today’s culture the only places people are forced to sit on benches are in church and the cheap bleacher section at ball games. People expect to have their own, individual chairs.

Personal space is highly valued in our society. This is why box seats are prized at stadiums. If people are forced to sit too close to each other, they get very uncomfortable. There should be at least 18 inches between people if you’re using chairs and 21 inches between people if you’re using pews.

If you use moveable seats, set them up so people can see some of each other’s faces. It will dramatically improve how people respond to the service. If you are planting a new church always set up less chairs than you need. It’s encouraging to your people when additional chairs must be brought in as people arrive. On the other hand, it’s very discouraging to worship in a service when surrounded by empty chairs.

4. Temperature: As a pastor who has preached for years in un-air-conditioned gyms and unheated tents, I say this with the utmost conviction: The temperature can destroy the best-planned service in a matter of minutes! When people are too hot or too cold they simply stop participating in a service. They mentally checkout and start hoping for everything to end quickly.

The most common mistake churches make regarding temperature is to allow the building to become too warm. Some usher sets the thermostat at a reasonable setting before the service without realizing that when the building is actually filled with a crowd, the body heat of all those people will raise the temperature substantially. By the time the air conditioning has cooled everything down, the service is nearly over.

Always set the thermostat several degrees cooler than what is comfortable before the service begins. Cool it down before the crowd gets there. The temperature will rise quite quickly once the service starts. Keeping the temperature on the cool side will keep the crowd awake.

5. Clean, safe nurseries: If you want to reach young families, you’ve got to have sanitized and safe nurseries. There should be no mop-buckets in the corners and the toys should be cleaned each week.

6. Clean restrooms: Visitors may forget your sermon but the memory of a foul smelling restroom lingers on … and on … and on! You can tell a lot about a church by checking out the cleanliness of its restrooms.

Why Teens Leave the Church

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There is a new Barna study on teens leaving the church (click here for the full study).

There is an accompanying book worth looking into, much like the book unChristian a couple years ago. The findings of this research are included in a new book titled You Lost Me: Why Young Christians are Leaving Church and Rethinking Church.

Overall, the research uncovered six significant themes why nearly three out of every five young Christians (59%) disconnect either permanently or for an extended period of time from church life after age 15.

Reason #1 – Churches Seem Overprotective.
One of the defining characteristics of teens and young adults today is their unprecedented access to ideas, worldviews and their prodigious consumption of popular culture. As Christians, they express the desire for their faith in Christ to connect to the world they live in.

  1. However, much of their experience of Christianity feels stifling, fear-based and risk-averse.
  2. One-quarter of 18- to 29-year-olds said “Christians demonize everything outside of the church.”
  3. Other perceptions in this category include “church ignoring the problems of the real world” (22%)
  4. And “my church is too concerned that movies, music, and video games are harmful” (18%).

Reason #2 – Their Experience of Christianity is Shallow.
A second reason that young people depart church as young adults is that something is lacking in their experience of church.

  1. One-third said “church is boring.”
  2. One-quarter of these young adults said that “faith is not relevant to my career or interests” or that “the Bible is not taught clearly or often enough.”
  3. Sadly, one-fifth of these young adults who attended a church as a teenager said that “God seems missing from my experience of church.”

Reason #3 – Churches Come Across as Antagonistic to Science.
One of the reasons young adults feel disconnected from church or from faith is the tension they feel between Christianity and science.

  1. The most common of the perceptions in this arena is “Christians are too confident they know all the answers” (35%).
  2. Three out of ten young adults with a Christian background feel that “churches are out of step with the scientific world we live in” (29%).
  3. Another one-quarter embrace the perception that “Christianity is anti-science” (25%).
  4. And nearly the same proportion (23%) said they have “been turned off by the creation-versus-evolution debate.”
  5. Furthermore, the research shows that many science-minded young Christians are struggling to find ways of staying faithful to their beliefs and to their professional calling in science-related industries.

Reason #4 – Church Experiences Related to Sexuality are Often Simplistic and Judgmental.
With unfettered access to digital pornography and immersed in a culture that values hyper-sexuality over wholeness, teen and twentysometing Christians are struggling with how to live meaningful lives in terms of sex and sexuality. One of the significant tensions for many young believers is how to live up to the church’s expectations of chastity and sexual purity in this culture, especially as the age of first marriage is now commonly delayed to the late twenties.

  1. Research indicates that most young Christians are as sexually active as their non-Christian peers, even though they are more conservative in their attitudes about sexuality.
  2. One-sixth of young Christians (17%) said they “have made mistakes and feel judged in church because of them.”
  3. The issue of sexuality is particularly salient among 18- to 29-year-old Catholics, among whom two out of five (40%) said the church’s “teachings on sexuality and birth control are out of date.”

Reason #5 – They Wrestle with the Exclusive Nature of Christianity.
Younger Americans have been shaped by a culture that esteems open-mindedness, tolerance and acceptance. Today’s youth and young adults also are the most eclectic generation in American history in terms of race, ethnicity, sexuality, religion, technological tools and sources of authority. Most young adults want to find areas of common ground with each other, sometimes even if that means glossing over real differences.

  1. Three out of ten young Christians (29%) said “churches are afraid of the beliefs of other faiths” and an identical proportion felt they are “forced to choose between my faith and my friends.”
  2. One-fifth of young adults with a Christian background said “church is like a country club, only for insiders” (22%).

Reason #6 – The Church Feels Unfriendly to Those Who Doubt.
Young adults with Christian experience say the church is not a place that allows them to express doubts. They do not feel safe admitting that sometimes Christianity does not make sense. In addition, many feel that the church’s response to doubt is trivial.

  1. Some of the perceptions in this regard include not being able “to ask my most pressing life questions in church” (36%) and having “significant intellectual doubts about my faith” (23%).
  2. In a related theme of how churches struggle to help young adults who feel marginalized, about one out of every six young adults with a Christian background said their faith “does not help with depression or other emotional problems” they experience (18%).

Turning Toward Connection
David Kinnaman, who is the coauthor of the book unChristian, explained that “the problem of young adults dropping out of church life is particularly urgent because most churches work best for ‘traditional’ young adults – those whose life journeys and life questions are normal and conventional. But most young adults no longer follow the typical path of leaving home, getting an education, finding a job, getting married and having kids—all before the age of 30. These life events are being delayed, reordered, and sometimes pushed completely off the radar among today’s young adults.

“Consequently, churches are not prepared to handle the ‘new normal.’ Instead, church leaders are most comfortable working with young, married adults, especially those with children. However, the world for young adults is changing in significant ways, such as their remarkable access to the world and worldviews via technology, their alienation from various institutions, and their skepticism toward external sources of authority, including Christianity and the Bible.”

The research points to two opposite, but equally dangerous responses by faith leaders and parents:

  1. Either catering to or minimizing the concerns of the next generation. The study suggests some leaders ignore the concerns and issues of teens and twentysomethings because they feel that the disconnection will end when young adults are older and have their own children. Yet, this response misses the dramatic technological, social and spiritual changes that have occurred over the last 25 years and ignores the significant present-day challenges these young adults are facing.
  2. Other churches seem to be taking the opposite corrective action by using all means possible to make their congregation appeal to teens and young adults. However, putting the focus squarely on youth and young adults causes the church to exclude older believers and “builds the church on the preferences of young people and not on the pursuit of God,” Kinnaman said.

Between these extremes, the book You Lost Me points to ways in which the various concerns being raised by young Christians (including church dropouts) could lead to revitalized ministry and deeper connections in families. Kinnaman observed that many churches approach generations in a hierarchical, top-down manner, rather than deploying a true team of believers of all ages. “Cultivating intergenerational relationships is one of the most important ways in which effective faith communities are developing flourishing faith in both young and old. In many churches, this means changing the metaphor from simply passing the baton to the next generation to a more functional, biblical picture of a body – that is, the entire community of faith, across the entire lifespan, working together to fulfill God’s purposes.”