Avoiding Conflict

Not too many men enjoy conflict, especially with their wives. Women are on a different level of thinking, emotion and we give up too soon when we need to get things straightened out. My Bible study class just finished a series on the life of David, and this is a story that may hit us where we live.

Then Joab went to Geshur and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem. But the king said, “He must go to his own house; he must not see my face.” So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the face of the king (2 Samuel 14:23-24).

Taking a path that avoids conflict will only lead to later hardship. Such was the case for Absalom and his father King David. For a little background, remember this:

Amnon, also a son of David, raped his half-sister Tamar (2 Samuel 13:4, 11, 14), who was Absalom’s full sister. When this happened, David was furious but he did not punish Amnon for his actions (2 Samuel 13:21). Absalom saw this as a terrible injustice for his sister and assured her that he would take care of it (2 Samuel 13:20, 22). So, Absalom plotted to kill Amnon at the right time. He patiently waited for two years before he set up a situation to have him killed (2 Samuel 13:23, 28).

David was heartbroken over the death of Amnon and held Absalom responsible. At the same time, David still wanted to have a relationship with Absalom, but because he failed to address the situation with Amnon, when it happened, it led to more serious consequences in the family (2 Samuel 14:23-24, 28). Absalom was banished for three years because of David’s anger towards him which allowed seeds of resentment to grown in his heart (2 Samuel 15:1-23). Absalom then conspired to overthrow David’s kingdom.

It is tremendously important to confront problems when they arise no matter how uncomfortable it might be. Believers are called to speak the truth in love. “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians 4:15-16). Failure to confront in love allows the enemy to sow greater seeds of conflict. Peace in the home will only come as we confront one another in love.

Is there someone else in your life that you need to confront in love, or resolve a conflict? Make plans now to get with this person and work through the issues that divide you.

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