Category: Men of Steel

Day Eight: There is a time for everything … a time to be silent and a time to speak. Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7

How easy it is to speak before thinking, especially if that pattern has already been established in your marriage.

Do you or your wife have the habit of returning one hurtful jab for another or lashing out at the smallest provocation?

It is hard to be silent, especially when you feel hurt or angry or disrespected, but often, if you take a few minutes to gather your thoughts and think about what you might say in return, you will realize that the problem will only escalate if you say what immediately comes to mind.

Your challenge today is to be silent when you could return insult for insult or when you could say, “I told you so.” Remember that silence is a show of humility. Allow your wife to vent if she needs to, and offer an ear to listen without rebuttal.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

Day Seven: Let love and faithfulness never leave you. Proverbs 3:3

Nothing gives encouragement to your wife like knowing that she is the only one for you.

Tell your wife today that you are glad you married her, that you would marry her all over again, and that you will keep your vows made before God and man on your wedding day.

When my husband and I got married, we wrote our own vows. In his wisdom, our pastor made a booklet for us that contains our entire ceremony, including our vows. If you can remember the vows you spoke on your wedding day, say them again to your spouse. If you do not remember them exactly, write new ones that tell your wife you would marry her all over again.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

Day Six: Humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

This story is taken from Night Light, by Dr. James and Shirley Dobson (Multnomah Publishers, Sisters, OR, 2000). Mr. Smith learned that his neighbor, Mr. Jones, had presented flowers and a gift to Mrs. Jones five nights in a row. He thought, That must be what wins a woman’s heart. So Smith went out and bought a big box of candy and a bouquet of his wife’s favorite flowers. Arriving home a little early that afternoon, he rang the doorbell. When Mrs. Smith appeared, he passionately embraced her. Suddenly she sagged and fell in a heap on the floor. “My goodness! What’s wrong?” he exclaimed.

When she regained consciousness, she explained. “Oh, this has been the worst day! Our son received a terrible report card; Mother was admitted to the hospital; the roast burned; the washing machine broke. Now to top it off, you come home drunk!”

Has it been a while since you brought home anything to your wife except for a special occasion? Would she think there was something wrong with you if you brought something home for her?

Today’s encouragement challenge is to surprise your wife with something – flowers or something as simple as her favorite candy or the latest book from her favorite author. It doesn’t have to be big, it just has to say, “I was thinking of you. I love you. And I thought you would like this.”

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

Day Five: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

Even during these 30 days when you, and hopefully your wife, are both working to build up and encourage one other, you might find yourselves in a debate, a discussion, or an all-out battle that leaves one or both of you angry and upset.

Charles Schultz, the creator of the Peanuts cartoon, once said that “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.” That philosophy might work with puppies, but it certainly doesn’t work in marriage.

The inability to say you’re sorry often stems from pride, pride that keeps you from saying you were wrong and that you just might have to change your thoughts or actions in a particular area.

Think over the events of the day, the week, or even past weeks and honestly consider if there is something for which you need to say “I’m sorry.”

If you or your spouse are angry about something that happened today, do not go to sleep tonight until the issue has been put out in the open and discussed. You may not be able to resolve it all tonight, but neither should you let the sun go down while you are angry in hopes of the issue resolving itself while you sleep.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

Day Four: May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

How are you doing with your commitment to say only good things about your wife and to others about your wife? Did you catch yourself starting to say something negative and then stopping? Did you falter and let something slip? Did you have a thought about your wife’s actions or attitude that would not be pleasing to her or to God?

Recommit yourself to the ground rules of the 30 Day Challenge:

You can’t say anything negative about your wife… to your wife… or to anyone else about your wife.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your wife… to your wife… or to someone else about your wife every day.

In fact, let’s go one step beyond recommitting to the ground rules and intentionally say something positive about your wife to someone else while she is listening. I am not talking about mere flattery; I mean a real, honest compliment that will tell someone else and your wife how much you appreciate her.

You do not have to come up with something new that you’ve never thought of, although there’s nothing wrong with that. You can choose one of the items from Day One or from the list of chores that your wife normally takes care of and tell someone how your wife makes your home and your life special when she can conveniently “overhear” what you are saying.

After she gets over the surprise, you will see a smile on her face you haven’t seen in a long time.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

Day Three: And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

OK, you’ve done some talking and you’ve done some playing, now it’s time to put your words into action.

What can you do to help your wife today? Do the dishes need washed? Does the laundry need folded and put away? Do the kids need baths? Can you cook?

Even just a few minutes of your time to help your wife complete the tasks before her will go a long way to encourage her and make her feel loved.

Let your wife know how much you appreciate all that she does and ask her what she needs help with the most today – and do it as unto the Lord, giving thanks and without grumbling.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

Day Two: A happy heart makes the face cheerful. Proverbs 15:13

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw

How did you do with your list of things you admire about your wife? Did you start off slow and gain momentum? Did you find it hard to come up with even one thing to be thankful for? I certainly hope not!

As a husband and wife live together on a daily basis, taking care of the kids, the house, the pets, the bills, and everything else that goes into daily life, we tend to forget to have fun together – to play.

Ask your wife to join you outside to play frisbee or go for a walk or look at the stars. Take her out for coffee and enjoy the drive. Do something together that you enjoyed while you were dating.

I know you love your kids and you love spending time with them, but you need to take time to spend time with each other without the kids to remember what it feels like to be Bill and Nancy or Ted and Alice, not just Mom and Dad.

Sure the bills and the dishes and the tax forms all need your attention, but take time to enjoy being friends, not just husband and wife or Mom and Dad.

Today’s assignment for encouraging your wife is to do something fun together today that will make you forget the cares of the world and make you feel like young lovers again.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

I found something interesting that the Men of Steel can do over the next 30-day period. This 30-day challenge might take you down paths you haven’t been before. It will require contemplation, vulnerability, and action. Some steps along the way may be scary because you haven’t thought these thoughts or spoken these words in a long time, but the thoughts and feelings are there and both you and your wife need to hear and experience them.

For the next 30 days, these two ground rules will be the basis of your relationship with your wife:

1. You can’t say anything negative about your wife… to your wife… or to anyone else about your wife.
2. Say something that you admire or appreciate about your wife… to your wife… or to someone else about your wife every day.

Keep track, mentally if not in written form, of the changes that you see take place in your wife, your marriage, and your home as you take part in this 30 Day Wife Encouragement Challenge.

Day One: The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ Genesis 2:18

As a Christian, you must know that men and women bring to the marriage different strengths, gifts, and outlooks on life and love. Think about some ways that your wife is “good for you,” ways in which she makes you and/or your life better. Is she the one that brings color to your life by decorating the home and making it enjoyable to come home? Does she inspire you to try new things that you wouldn’t have tried otherwise? Do you still get that warm, gushy feeling when she looks at you and smiles to tell you that she is glad you chose her?

1. Make a list of ways your life is better because of your wife.
2. Share the list with your wife and tell her how good it is that she is your helper and that you are not alone.

These words, coming from the most important man in her life, will bring great joy and encouragement to your wife.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com