Category: Men of Steel

How to Guide Your Destiny

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When I taught at Hargrave Military Academy, I remember the chaplain had a great saying regarding character and destiny (a quote from Frank Outlaw):

  1. Watch your thoughts, they become words.
  2. Watch your words, they become actions.
  3. Watch your actions, they become habits.
  4. Watch your habits, they become character.
  5. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

These are not only wise words for developing strong character and leadership in young men and women, but also for anyone desiring to make a difference in business, school, marriage, and life.

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Essential Elements for Men’s Ministry

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It’s important to know the reason(s) the Men of Steel group exists, so here are eight biblically-balanced benchmarks for a healthy ministry to men. Let me know what you think, what we could add, or how to implement these.

FILLING – God’s man is able to feed himself. Consistently studying and applying God’s Word independent of the church or small group is essential. To do this, a man must be taught how to study the Bible. (1 Peter 2:1-3; Psalm 1:1-3).

TRAINING – God’s man receives regular biblical instruction (1 Thessalonians 2:13). This can be achieved through a weekly small-group Bible study.

PRACTICING – God’s man learns how to apply God’s Word to all areas of life. It is essential to allowing room for accountability within the men’s ministry for the purpose of consistency and obedience to God’s Word (James 1:22-25; Ezekiel 33:30-32).

UNITING – God’s man makes it a priority to connect with other men (at least two times a month) for the purpose of community, accountability, confession, and prayer (Galatians 6:1-3; James 5:16; Hebrews 10:23-24).

SURVIVING – God’s man learns to address major life temptations and/or crises according to his need and life-stage. Support and encouragement from the small group is essential (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

REACHING – God’s man gets involved in some form of men’s ministry based on his gifts and talents. God has called each of us to pour out to others what He has poured into us (1 Peter 4:10-11; Ephesians 4:11-13)

IMPACTING – God’s man invests time and resources into the lives of other men; through shared activities, spiritual mentoring, and modeling (2 Timothy 2:22; Proverbs 27:17; Mark 3:13-14).

SHARING – God’s man learns to actively share his faith in order to lead others into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ (Acts 1:8; 1 Peter 3:15; Matthew 28:18-20).

Keeping a Clear Conscience

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I had always been suspect of allowing one’s heart to guide them. It always sounds like such good advice until we look into the Scripture (Jeremiah 17:9). So, don’t let your heart guide you! We trust in God alone, as revealed in the Bible, for our guidance.

The next axiom is for our conscience to be our guide, like the talking cricket in the story of Pinocchio. (BTW, the cricket was unnamed in the original story and was given the name Jiminy Cricket in the 1940 Disney film). But the point is, can your conscience really be your guide?

I found this while reading Oswald Chambers this morning… (Acts 24:16)

God’s commands to us are actually given to the life of His Son in us. Consequently, to our human nature in which God’s Son has been formed (see Galatians 4:19), His commands are difficult. But they become divinely easy once we obey.

Conscience is that ability within me that attaches itself to the highest standard I know, and then continually reminds me of what that standard demands that I do. It is the eye of the soul which looks out either toward God or toward what we regard as the highest standard. This explains why conscience is different in different people. If I am in the habit of continually holding God’s standard in front of me, my conscience will always direct me to God’s perfect law and indicate what I should do. The question is, “will I obey?” I have to make an effort to keep my conscience so sensitive that I can live without any offense toward anyone. I should be living in such perfect harmony with God’s Son that the spirit of my mind is being renewed through every circumstance of life, and that I may be able to quickly “prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2; also see Ephesians 4:23).

God always instructs us down to the last detail. Is my ear sensitive enough to hear even the softest whisper of the Spirit, so that I know what I should do? “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God . . .” (Ephesians 4:30). He does not speak with a voice like thunder— His voice is so gentle that it is easy for us to ignore. And the only thing that keeps our conscience sensitive to Him is the habit of being open to God on the inside. When you begin to debate, stop immediately. Don’t ask, “Why can’t I do this?” You are on the wrong track. There is no debating possible once your conscience speaks. Whatever it is— drop it, and see that you keep your inner vision clear.

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Who is in Control?

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Part of the Lord’s Prayer mentions, lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil (Matthew 6:13).

It’s amazing to think about the fact that every act of your life is motivated by a spiritual force. So, the question for today is, “Who is controlling you?” Or we might ask, “What is motivating you?”

I am a lover of cake! Old classic cake flavors are “Devil’s Food” and “Angel’s Food.” So, aside from the dessert, which sort of food are you feeding your body? What spirit is being satisfied through your soul?

If the spirit of the enemy is allowed to work in you, then you are grieving the Holy Spirit; something the Bible tells us not to do (Ephesians 4:30, 1 Thessalonians 5:19). Any time you allow the enemy to work his will through your mind or body, you grieve the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit also desires to use you; He wants to use you for God’s glory and God’s service. The Spirit provides a gift for you to use in the service of God. The Holy Spirit’s purpose is not to dominate you or crush you, but to fulfill you.

Satan desires to use you for his own purpose, as a pawn in his hand to laugh in God’s face. He desires to use you, abuse you, and then refuse you. You are in a state of living death when you give in to the enemy’s purpose.

Temptation is Satan’s tool for getting you to do things that you really don’t want to do. Deep inside your spirit, you know that what he is tempting you to do is wrong. The worst and most hardened criminals in our world today know they have done wrong, and they often blame others for their actions. They may act as if they don’t care about the fact that they’ve done wrong, been caught, or are facing serious consequences, but deep inside, they have to know. They knew when they were doing wrong that what they were doing was wrong.

Satan’s lie is that you have a right to do wrong. Society is at fault. You have a right to get even with society. Your daddy is at fault. You have a right to rebel against him. Your boss is at fault. You have a right to steal from him or cheat him. God is at fault. He made you this way. You have a right to act the way you do because He made you with this temper, this anger, this lust, this desire.

God’s Word says that you have a right to choose. Joshua said to the Israelites, “Choose you this day whom ye will serve … as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:15). You have a right to choose, a free will, a mind that can make a conscious decision. But none of us have a right to sin.

My challenge today, is to make sure that you are yielding the control of your life only to God. Eat a bit more “angel’s food” and see how your life can change. Imagine how our lives, marriages and families can be different if we totally yield to the will of God.

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The Reality of the Spirit Realm

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The Men of Steel looked into this topic; how often do we wrestle with God?

  1. The Enemy within Me
  2. God Sparing Your Life
  3. Refuse to be a Target
  4. God Wrestles with You… Alone
  5. Why Does God Wrestle with Men?
  6. The Reality of the Spirit Realm

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. — Ephesians 6:12

I’m doing a funeral this Saturday morning at 11:00 and so I began thinking about life and death issues this week. Just what is man, and why is God mindful of him? (Psalm 8:4) This world is not all there is.

There is a world about which many of us know nothing about or of which are even aware, but it’s real, and I’m not talking about the Matrix. While skeptics may doubt it, it is more real than the world we can see, touch, taste, hear, or feel. It is the realm of the spirit.

The most real part of a person is the spirit inside. Men often seem to think the real part of them is their body, but no matter how much you build it up, dress it, or feed it, you are not first and foremost a body. You have a body, but you are a spirit. Your body is a temporary home.

Men also have a soul. From my research, the soul area of man is where most of the problems occur; this is the area of the mind, the emotions, memories, appetites, and desires. The mind of man, including the mind of the Christian, is often trapped between the physical and the spiritual—flashbacks to memories of the former life in the flesh can fill the mind. The result can be a tremendous wrestling match with each force, spirit and flesh, trying to dominate the other. In fact, it is only when a man receives the Word of God and allows it to transform his mind that he is able to save his mind from the shackles of the flesh.

There’s more to the spirit realm. Demons are disembodied spirits. They don’t have a body, and they don’t have a soul—they have no mind or will of their own. Their will is totally subjected to the enemy. They are vessels and carriers of Satan’s nature. They are filled with his desires, his lusts, his passions, and his unclean thoughts.

Because demons don’t have bodies, they are seeking one to inhabit. They are seeking a vehicle through which they can express their lusts and passions for evil.

Jesus once said to Peter, “Behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat” (Luke 22:31). The King James Version says that “Satan desires to have you…” He was basically saying to Peter, “Satan desires to possess you, to have you, to dominate you.” Men know what it means to lust after a woman in order to have her. I think that’s the way Satan looked at Peter. He lusted after him, that he might completely take Peter’s mind and body—to satisfy his cravings through him. Satan’s demons desire the same thing regarding you…

  • To use your body, your temper, your lust, your passions.
  • To work through the broken places of your childhood to fulfill your starved desires.
  • To possess you so that he might sift you.

I would guess that before Satan makes a move to have you, he studies you. He learns all he can about you—your moods, your attitudes, your background, your past hurts and painful memories, your private desires.

He’s like a stalker. You’re under surveillance, and he’s watching for an opportunity to move in to take you. He longs to possess, dominate, control, rule over, and act through you.

That’s the reason you must walk closely with Jesus. Cling to Him. Become a disciple of Him. Never believe that you can make it on your own strength. David—one of the bravest and most capable men who ever lived—cried out to God, “Hide me under the shadow of your wings.” (Psalm 17:8.) Ask God to tuck you under His wings… which is the only place you will ever feel fully secure.

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30-Day Husband Challenge – Day 30

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Day Thirty:

I was filled with delight day after day. (Proverbs 8:30)

Today is the final day of the challenge! How did it go? Was it harder than you expected or easier? Did you see fruit for your labor? I certainly hope so.

Now that you’ve completed the 30 days, don’t stop there. Take what you have learned and apply it to the next 30 days and the 30 days after that and the 30 days after that until you have applied it for 10 or 20 or 50 years.

Use the knowledge and insight you have gained to keep your marriage fresh. The vows you made to your wife before God are too valuable to let crumble without doing everything in your power to keep it together.

Pray without ceasing that God will continue to show you how to encourage your wife. Look at your wife with fresh eyes every day. See who she is and who she is becoming. Notice how your love and affection toward her are returned to you tenfold.

Find joy in each day that you have together. When you start to falter in your commitment, pick up this challenge and work through it again. You have the blueprint; it is up to you to build the house.

Your challenge for today and forever: Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love. Ecclesiastes 9:9

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

 

30-Day Husband Challenge – Day 29

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Day Twenty-nine:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Just as your marriage has undergone changes since your wedding day, you and your wife will continue to change physically, spiritually, and emotionally as the years bring new joys and new challenges.

As you age, the beauty and vigor of youth will be replaced by grace and strength of character unknown to younger generations. Do not be deceived by the beauty and charm of youth; there is no fountain of youth except for the renewal that only God can give (Isaiah 40:31).

Just as Moses’ face glowed when he met with God face to face (Exodus 34:35), your wife’s countenance will take on a new glow as she walks with God, feels your love in new ways, and trusts you as the spiritual leader of your home. Your love will take on new dimensions and praise will pour forth from your lips without working at it.

Commit to the ground rules of this 30 day challenge for the rest of your life. Let nothing and no one deceive you and cause you to doubt the vows of marriage that you have spoken. The road may be long and it may be hard at times, but the prize is a life of no regrets and a love that knows no end.

You’ve had some serious days recently. It’s time again to have some fun and make playing together an integral part of your marriage. Get outside, ride a bike, go out for ice cream, put together a puzzle, play a game. Find something that both you and your wife enjoy doing and take time to do it together.

If this time of play takes away from other things your wife wants/needs to get done, help her complete her tasks either before or after your play so she can feel more relaxed and enjoy your time together.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

 

30-Day Husband Challenge – Day 28

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Day Twenty-eight:

The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ Genesis 2:18

Some men and women have a very narrow view of what a “helper” is. A helper can be someone who cooks meals and washes the dishes, or someone who takes care of the children. A helper can be someone who stands by to hand over tools when they are needed to complete a project.

A helper can be someone who stands by to take care of anything that might have been left undone. A helper can also be someone who has strengths in areas in which you have weaknesses. She can be an extrovert to your introvert; she can have a sense of color and style to your T-shirt and blue jeans; she can make lists and carry out tasks while you see the big picture and are already looking past this project to the next one.

Sometimes husbands and wives get annoyed by their differences, but quite often God brings together two people who are very different so they can work together to be whole, to be one (Genesis 2:24).

In what ways does your helper, your wife, “complete” you? How do your strengths and weaknesses work together to make an unbeatable team?

Rejoice in the differences that make your marriage work. Ask your wife how she sees the strengths and weaknesses that you each have working together. Talk about how you and your marriage are stronger because she is your helper who completes you.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

 

30-Day Husband Challenge – Day 27

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Day Twenty-seven:

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

For reasons that women often find hard to understand, very few men have close friends – especially friends that will hold them accountable and help them grow in the Lord.

Pray that God will bring such a man into your life and that you can be that kind of man to someone else.

Reach out to a godly man and ask him to be your accountability partner. Meet together regularly to encourage one another in your walk with Christ, your marriage, and the many other responsibilities that you have.

You will glorify God and gain spiritual, emotional, and even physical strength by meeting together with another godly man regularly.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

 

30-Day Husband Challenge – Day 26

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Day Twenty-six:

A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17

I once heard someone say that a friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.

Does this describe your relationship with your wife? Does she know all about you? What are you holding back from her for fear that she will not love you?

Most women know when a man is holding out on her: there is an emotional barrier that never seems to come down even if the ax is swung close to the root.

Vulnerability is hard and trust is risky, but it might be time to trust in your friend, the wife of your youth (Proverbs 5:18).

Pray about an issue that you are holding back from your wife. Seek Godly counsel and wait for an answer from the Lord. As your marriage grows stronger and you learn that you can and want to trust your wife with who you are as a man, you will know when the time is right to let that barrier down.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work … But pity the man who falls down and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9,10.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com