Everyone has been created with three God-given inner needs—the needs for love, for significance, and for security. When one or more of these needs is no longer being met, we naturally feel a sense of loss, which in turn causes grief.
Unmet need → Sense of loss → Feeling of grief
Throughout our lives we will incur numerous losses. Although we need to feel the pain of our losses, we do not need to be controlled by our losses. Instead we must rely on God’s promise that He will meet our deepest inner needs. The Bible says, “My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).
LOSS OF LOVE
- loss of significant family member (spouse, parent, unborn baby, child)
- loss of an endeared pet
- loss of a romantic relationship
- loss of ability to have children (childlessness, infertility)
- loss of a close friend
- loss of an admired mentor or role model
Great Trial: “I’m still in agony over the death of my husband, and I feel like I’m only half a person.”
God’s Truth: Take comfort in this. Although your loss is severe and even though you have no earthly husband, the Lord says He will be your husband—He will be your Provider and Protector. “For your Maker is your husband—the LORD Almighty is his name” (Isaiah 54:5).
LOSS OF SIGNIFICANCE
- loss of employment
- loss of hopes and dreams
- loss of freedom
- loss of achievement
- loss of respect/reputation
- loss of purpose
Great Trial: “I’ve lost everything that gives my life purpose, and I feel such a sense of loss.”
God’s Truth: Take comfort in this. As long as you are alive, your life has purpose. “The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever” (Psalm 138:8).
LOSS OF SECURITY
- loss of companionship
- loss of health (physical abilities)
- loss of finances
- loss of home
- loss of justice
- loss of family environment
Great Trial: “I’ve just experienced the greatest rejection of my life, and I feel overwhelmed with grief.”
God’s Truth: Take comfort in this. While people reject people, the Lord will not reject you. He says, “I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:9–10).
Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Grief Recovery: Living at Peace with Loss. Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.