Category: Discipleship

Accountability in Mentoring

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Mentoring requires people to be in communication, to be connected, in order for it to work. Perhaps an obvious fact, but I suppose many people feel that they can be mentored by remote control. It is true that we can be mentored through reading books, because there is a lot of information that we can learn from authors that we respect or have been in business for a long time, or model the type of spirituality or theology that we want to become more like them. But if we want real life transformation, we need to become accountable to another person that will keep us focused on our goals, and get in our face when we fall short.

I imagine that most Christians have no argument about being accountable to God. After all, He is our heavenly Father, He is perfect and He has the right to check up on us to see if we are on course. But these same people think being accountable to someone on earth is, to say the least, a touchy matter.

When you think about it, calling someone to account is an act of love. Forcing a protégé to open his life to a confidant who has earned the right to be heard can save marriages from divorce, churches from division, organizations from financial distress, and careers from ruin.

Mentors are also accountable to themselves. It requires that they become vulnerable, not hesitate to show weakness, admit when they are wrong, respond quickly to reproof, and even set an example to those on the outside who are watching.

What about accountability in the Bible? Take a look…

  1. Joseph was accountable to Potiphar.
  2. King Saul was accountable to Samuel the prophet.
  3. King David was accountable to Nathan the prophet.
  4. Daniel was accountable to God before his accountability to the king.
  5. Nehemiah was accountable to Artaxerxes the king.
  6. Jesus was accountable to the Father, and demonstrated it by submitting to the Father’s will.
  7. The Twelve were accountable to Jesus and also to each other.
  8. Paul and Silas were accountable to the church at Antioch.

When I think about accountability, I believe that we all need (at times) someone close enough to get in our faces and tell us what we need to hear. It may not be what we want to hear, but we need it to get back on track. Sometimes the truth hurts, but the truth in love is what we are called to do (Ephesians 4:15). A mentor’s wounds are those of a faithful friend. Not everyone has the right to climb into your life and offer rebuke; it is for those who have built this love relationship ahead of time.

I believe that people who are accountable to a mentor are serious about changing their behavior. I read about a study showing that employees who know they are being observed demonstrate a higher quality and quantity of work, knowing they will be held to account.

It’s not easy, mentors need wisdom in dealing with a variety of issues and problems. Remember that you don’t mentor alone. A mentor who sees his protégé stumble must invade that person’s private world.

  1. One to guide and encourage.
  2. One to also get in your face when you mess up.
  3. One who loves you too much to let you play with fire.
  4. Wisdom from the Proverbs 13:10, 13:14, 13:18, 13:20, 15:31

[ Here’s more on mentoring ]

What's Your "One Thing?"

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Most men are pretty confident… in their work, personality, abilities, marriages, golf game and maybe even that their favorite baseball team is going to win the pennant this year. Men are also pretty confident when it comes to spiritual matters. Perhaps this comes out of an American desire to be self-sufficient. We often want to come to God on our own terms rather than come to Him on the terms He has already laid out. As long as I’m in church on Sunday, God can’t expect more out of me than that. I watch my language, don’t cheat in my business, and am faithful to my wife. Not bad stuff, but what is that one thing that you protect more than anything else?

When a relationship is broken, the only way to get back into a right relationship is to follow the remedy of the offended person. It works in real life because the repentant offender asks, “What can I do to make it up to you, for the bad thing that I have done to you?” Then hopefully the offended person will tell this person what is needed. Do we approach God the same way? Not really. We have offended God on a regular basis and then expect Him to approve of whatever we are willing to do in order to come back to Him on our own terms. We get out our list and tell God we will stop doing items 3, 6, 7, and 12, but the rest of my list is off the table. These are my terms. You should be pleased that I have made these concessions.

In Luke 18:18-30, there is a story of the Rich Young Ruler. Actually the “Rich Young Ruler” is not a guy we find in the Bible. Bible teachin’ pastor say what? He’s sort of a compilation of three stories in the synoptic gospels. Matthew tells us he was young (Matthew 19:22), Mark tells us he was a man with property (Mark 10:17, 22) and Luke mentions he was a ruler who was extremely rich (Luke 18:18, 23). It’s all the same story told from different perspectives. Mark and Luke don’t deny that he was young. Mark and Luke don’t deny that he was a ruler. An most of us would agree that property owners have a tendency to be rich.

People tend to believe that there may be a single act that could be done in order to secure one’s salvation… and this guy wanted to make sure he had done it. Jesus gives a short list of things that are good in God’s kingdom economy (Luke 18:20), and this guy was confident that he had been faithful (Luke 18:21). In reality, he failed miserably. He claimed to be a keeper of the commandments, but failed the first one, to have no other gods before Me (Exodus 20:3). Jesus goes straight to the point and so will I… in all the seemingly good that is a part of your life, what is the one thing that you have failed to do in order to follow Christ? If we don’t get started out on the right track, we end up lost at a totally unplanned destination. This guy was so sure, so confident, that he did not see the error of his way.

Jesus told him to sell all he had and give it to the poor. I have to admit that there is a tendency to think that Jesus is offering an alternate plan of salvation, to buy your way in, but look at the actual statement (Luke 18:22). At the end, Jesus tells him to “come, follow Me.” That’s the kicker. We can do a lot of good stuff on a regular basis but if we are not following Jesus, learning from Him, becoming a disciple of Jesus or a Christ follower, we are no different than the rich young ruler.

Now it’s self-examination time. What is your one thing? What prevents you from being sold out to Jesus? Have you become his follower, or just a believer? How are you growing spiritually and passing it on to others or to your children? Have you come to God on His terms rather than trying to come to Him on your own terms?

Men Who Forgot Jesus

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It was Thanksgiving 2007 where I did a dramatic monologue at the King’s Grant Thanksgiving Eve service. The story came right out of Luke 17:11-19, where only one out of 10 cleansed lepers came back to thank Jesus for what He had done for them.

Lepers were the outcasts of society. People feared catching the disease, so they were put aside into leper colonies outside of town, banned from public life and the religious community. There was deep separation from others, (except for other lepers). They were required to ring a bell or call out, “unclean, unclean” as they approached people on the street or in town. This allowed the healthy people to part like the Red Sea and let them through.

Let me share the observations I see in this story are:

1. These lepers were men (Luke 17:12). As Men of Steel, we recognize that the Bible often speaks of men… yes, there are stories about how Jesus broke the gender barrier and elevated the role and status of women, but some stories are specifically about men. So, while women can make application to their own situations and lives, men need place themselves in the story, as men.

2. These men stood at a distance (Luke 17:12). How often do men come into the community of faith yet remain at a distance? The “Jesus thing” is OK for my wife and kids, but I’ll just keep my distance so I won’t become sold out, a Jesus freak, a fanatic or required to do too much outside of my normal routine. As men, we need to look out for each other, which cannot be done from a distance. We need other men willing to call us to account for our behavior that does not honor our wives, or our God. We need someone unafraid to get in our face and challenge us to get back on track. That’s what friends do. Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17) which is a process that can often “hurt” the flint and the blade because there is friction and parts of the blade are filed away in order to become a sharp instrument, the way the blade was intended and works best.

3. These men met Jesus (Luke 17:12). While a simple fact, the purpose of Men of Steel is to know Christ and make Him known (the same motto of King’s Grant Baptist Church). Men need to be able to hear and understand the gospel in a culturally relevant way, and we seek to put the gospel into language that men can understand. Since we all face similar situations and struggles, we can speak the same language and help someone who does not know Christ to come and meet him. The introduction need not be a hardliner presentation of the gospel, but as we live life, we can help other men understand there is more to this life than just living or existing. How can we help more men meet Jesus? The Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20) needs to be our primary focus.

4. These men raised their voices to Jesus (Luke 17:13). This might be a lesson for all of us; to not be afraid or ashamed to speak up for Jesus when the opportunity arises. While at this point in the story these men were not “saved,” they definitely knew who they needed to find and meet in order to get their lives straightened out. The crowd must have been looking at them, and angry at them for invading their space… “These men should be put away somewhere, out of sight, where they can’t bother anyone. Who are they to come to this rabbi; no one has time for these outcasts.” Wow, how many times did other people write us off before we came to Christ?

5. These men ask for mercy (Luke 17:13). I have discovered that there is quite a difference between justice, mercy and grace. Justice is pretty much getting what you deserve; mercy is not getting what you deserve; and grace is getting something that you don’t deserve. They asked for mercy, basically to not receive what they deserved, which in this story is misery in life and a slow, agonizing death. They did not deserve this fate because of anything they did that was perhaps more sinful than the crowd, but since they were in this situation, this is the path that they were on. Jesus can come into any life and take them from the wide path that leads to destruction and set them on the narrow path that leads to life (Matthew 7:13-14).

6. Jesus sees and speaks to these men (Luke 17:14). No mater how alone we feel in this life, Jesus sees us and speaks to us. There is “no temptation such as is common to man” (1 Corinthians 10:13) meaning that Christ was tempted in all ways as we are, yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15). So, He hears us and understands our struggles.  He speaks to us today through His revealed and inspired Word, the Bible. That is why it is so important to be involved in a regular small group for Bible study. We experience real and genuine life change in community, not a cocoon!

7. These men were to go and show themselves to the priests (Luke 17:14). At the risk of soundings obvious, where do we find the priests in Jesus’ day? At church. I believe that even while we are still in our sinful state, we need to be involved in the community of faith. People cannot wait until they get their lives back on track to start going to church, because it will never happen. If we could earn our salvation on our own without Christ or grow toward maturity without His church, we would not need either, but we can’t. How many times do men fail on their own, until they get into a proper relationship with God through Christ?

8. Only one of these men came back with gratitude (Luke 17:15-16). We often focus on the nine ungrateful men who did not come back to thank God for what He had done for them, but are we not more like the nine than the one who came back? The Bible tells us to be thankful in everything (1Thessalonians 5:16-18), so what are you thankful for? Wife, kids, job, home, money, health, church, friends…? Why not make sure you approach God daily with a thankful heart?

9. This one man was a Samaritan (Luke 17:16-17). Samaritans were the hated half-breeds that real Jews despised. Here Jesus makes the Samaritan the hero of the story. In context we know that the Jews felt they needed no forgiveness from God because they were the “chosen people” of God. The Pharisees believed that they were already in right relationship with God through their religious ceremonies and knowledge of the ancient writings. They were so much better than the common people, especially those who were non-Jews. The point for us might be that we must accept everyone without prejudice or bias against them. Jesus said that our acts of kindness done for “least of these” is actually done for Christ (Matthew 25:40, 45). The ground at the foot of the cross is level; no one is higher than someone else in the Kingdom (not Americans, whites, Europeans, or even wealthy people).

10. This one man was “made well” by his faith (Luke 17:19). After all the talk about church and living a godly life, the one thing that cannot be left out is faith. We are saved by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9) and we live the Christ-life by faith (2 Corinthians 5:17, Colossians 2:6). Faith is what the church and a relationship with Jesus is all about. If we want to be made well, it can only be done through faith in Christ.

The Truth About Life Change

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My Bible study class studied for several weeks a book by Chip Ingram on the Miracle of Life Change. I recently discovered nine foundational truths about life change (from Pastor Rick Warren):

1. Understand that the goal of all change is Christ-likeness. God doesn’t want us to be happy; he wants us to be holy. We become holy as we become more like Jesus. When you see people, remember this – God’s goal for the people you see isn’t balance, happiness, or comfort. He wants nothing less than for them to become like Jesus.

Paul tells us in Romans 8:29, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.” We have a phrase here in America, “Like father, like son.” God wants nothing more than for us to become like Jesus, in how we act, how we talk, how we relate to others, how we relate to God, and every aspect of our lives. This is always the goal of biblical change.

2. Realize that both you and God have a part to play in changing. You can’t do God’s part in the change process, but you must do yours. You can see this clearly when Paul writes in Philippians 2:12-13, “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” Notice Paul says, “Continue to work out …” That’s your part. Then he says, “for it is God who works in you …” That’s God’s part. We both have a part to play.

The Bible doesn’t say to work for your salvation. It says to “work it out.” There’s only one way you can find salvation – by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9). Think about it, you don’t work out in the gym to create muscles you don’t have; you work out to strengthen the muscles God has given you. When you “work out” your salvation, you don’t earn it. Instead, you strengthen what God has already given you. You can’t transform or change yourself, but – because of the cross – the Holy Spirit can. But you have a part to play.

3. Accept that lasting change starts with choice. Whatever hurt, habit, or hang-up you have, change begins with a choice. Choice is one of the greatest gifts that God gives us. In the Bible, God tells us to make healing choices (Deuteronomy 30:19), “I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.”

4. Change requires truth. Jesus said in John 8:32, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” The truth may set you free, but first it makes you miserable. The reason most of us aren’t free is that we don’t want to face the truth about our sin. We don’t want to face the truth about others, our relationships, our parents, or our past. The Bible says our hearts are “desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9).

That deceit has to be balanced with the truth of God. Why does truth set us free? Because the way we think affects the way we feel. The way we feel then affects the way we act. If you want to change the way you act, you don’t want to start with your behavior, you start with your thoughts. The battle over sin always begins in the mind. You can’t stop the thoughts that come into your mind, but you need to know how to divert them. Change happens when we’re honest about what is in our heart and then we challenge it with the Word of God. The truth is, behind every self-defeating behavior in your life is a lie that you believe to be true.

5. Lasting change happens in community. God has wired us to only get well in community, not a cocoon. Koinonia (the Greek term for fellowship or community) simply means being as committed to each other as we are to Jesus Christ, and sharing a common life.

Change happens when you open up and share your hurts, habits, and hang-ups. It’s the only way to get over them. James 5:16 tells us to, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” Revealing your feelings is the beginning of healing. If you want to see true life change, you need to develop Christian community or fellowship in your life.

6. Lasting change is a step-by-step process. The kind of change that we really long for won’t happen by accident or by chance. Change happens intentionally and incrementally. The Message paraphrases 2 Corinthians 3:18, “Our lives are gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.” When God enters our lives, we become gradually more like Jesus. That is sanctification.

7. Lasting change requires multiple reinforcement. You’ve got to get truth in a lot of different ways to make the way for lasting change. How can people listen to Pastor Skip’s sermons for years and not grow? People just don’t grow by listening. James tells us not to merely listen to the Word of God but to obey it (James 1:22). He goes on to say that the one who “looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it – he will be blessed in what he does” (James 1:25).

It’s the person who remembers the Word of God and does it who is blessed. Leaders must teach people the Bible in multiple ways to make that happen in their lives. God loves variety. He wired some people to learn through what they hear. Others learn from they see or read. Others learn by doing. Those who participate in worship will hear the Word. They talk about it in their small group Bible studies. They read about it in a book.

8. Lasting change requires new habits. I’ve heard it said that you are the sum total of your habits. You’ve got both good and bad habits, but what you do habitually is what you are. You don’t have to think about taking a shower, brushing your teeth, or shaving. You just do it. Those are habits. You’re not an honest person unless you are habitually honest. You’re not faithful to your spouse if you’re only faithful 98% of the time.

For 2,000 years Christians have been developing good habits. We often call them spiritual disciplines, such as prayer, quiet time, Bible study, solitude, fasting, service, journaling, etc. These are building blocks of spiritual growth. Not many believers have been to a boot camp for spiritual growth because. We just did not know that we needed it.

9. Real change changes others. A lot of people come to marriage counseling and say they wanted to change their spouse, when what they really needed to do was change themselves. You can only change someone else by changing yourself. When you change, you force the other person to change because they can’t respond to you the same old way. When God changes you, he’ll use you to change others.

How do you know someone’s life has been changed by God and they’re spiritually mature? You know the same way that you know if someone is physically mature – reproduction. Spiritually mature people reproduce. As people experience real life change, they’ll help others find the same hope.

God says life is a choice. Jesus says, “I came so that you might have life and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10). Life is a choice, but most people are just existing. They get up in the morning, go to work, come home, watch TV, and go to bed. Then they get up in the morning, go to work, come home, watch TV, and go to bed… over and over, repeating that same pattern. One day they wake up and realize there is more to this life than just existing!

The kind of life that God wants us to have is not automatic. Spiritual growth is not automatic. You have to make choices to help yourself grow.

Follow Through and Finish Well

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When I think of men, we get involved in a lot of stuff. Sometimes we have too many irons in the fire and some fairly important things get left undone. Any married man might identify with this situation, we had the best of intentions, we never intended to not follow through, we never planned to let our wives down, but we did not finish what we started. My house is a standing monument to unfinished tasks… well, to be honest, many projects have not yet been started (there’s just a list posted to the refrigerator door).

After being delivered from centuries of slavery in Egypt, the children of Israel followed this same pattern. God gave His chosen people a simple instruction to possess the land, which meant they were to completely drive out the current residents. If they didn’t follow through, the Canaanites would drag them down spiritually, which was seen over and over, and the Israelites chasing after false gods rather than sole loyalty to the One True God. It’s recorded twice in two separate books: Joshua 17:13 and Judges 1:28.

In our present situation, we do the same thing. Not by worshipping false gods, but we claim the salvation of Christ yet still hold on to the old sinful nature of the past. While the nature doesn’t ever completely leave (the struggle continues throughout life – Romans 7:14-25) we cannot allow known sin to permeate our lives. John tells us that no one born of God sins (that is, habitually practices sin – 1 John 5:18), but we must strive to completely drive out the evil that desires to ensnare us into bondage to sin (2 Timothy 2:4, Hebrews 12:1, 2 Peter 2:20).

So what is the result of our not completely driving out the old sinful nature? I believe that God was tired of their hypocrisy. Check out the word of God through the prophet Jeremiah:

Don’t be fooled into thinking that you will never suffer because the Temple is here. It’s a lie! Do you really think you can steal, murder, commit adultery, lie, and burn incense to Baal and all those other new gods of yours, and then come here and stand before me in my Temple and chant, “We are safe!”—only to go right back to all those evils again? Jeremiah 7:8-10

Wow! Let’s get serious about walking in a manner worthy of the calling of Christ (Ephesians 4:1, Colossians 1:10, 1 Thessalonians 2:12, . He saved us to live in faith (Colossians 2:6) not to walk in the same way as the world around us. Take on the “yoke” of Christ and learn from Him (Matthew 11:29)… that’s discipleship.

Marks of a Mature Christian

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I was able to give the message at King’s Grant and the topic of the day was, “What are the marks of a mature Christian?” Since Paul encourages believers to examine themselves to see if they are of the faith (1 Corinthians 11:28), I found at least twelve “marks” or “tests” to see whether one is a true follower of Christ. My prayer is that as you read this list, allow God to bring you to a proper understanding of where you stand with Christ.

1. Fellowship with God and Christians – 1 John 1:3-4

Immaturity says that belief is all one needs; just believe the right stuff about Jesus, accept Him, pray a prayer, come to church only when it’s convenient, and when you do, don’t get involved with a small group. A small group is where fellowship really happens. The Greek word, koinonia, means sharing a common life.

Maturity says that fellowship with God and other believers is important. How? What does this mean? Practically… we gather together for worship and in small groups; we don’t have fellowship by staring at the back of another person’s head! Fellowship allows us to get involved, get to know each other, bear one another’s burdens, and help each other to grow into the likeness of Christ.

Remedy: Like a log on a bonfire, the log that rolled away needs to be thrown back into the pile in order to be on fire. Otherwise the lone log will gradually dim and grow cold. Get back into a local church and get involved in a small group. Christianity was not meant to be lived in isolation; real life change comes in community, not a cocoon.

2. Sensitivity to sin – 1 John 1:5-10, 3:8, 5:18

Immaturity says that sin is not really a big deal, everybody does it, nobody’s perfect, I can stop if I want to, I’m not hurting anybody; but sin is missing the mark, hamartia, falling short of the target that God has set for us. Lack of sensitivity to sin is like cultivating a calloused heart, layers of excuses, apathy, failure, all lead to a hardened heart where sin does not bother you any more.

Maturity says that sin is a serious matter, and I need to deal with it as God tells me to. Sin brings death; the Son brings life (John 3:36).

Remedy: Confession of sin is not telling God something He doesn’t already know, but agreeing with God about the seriousness of my sin. Sin separates us from God like an umbrella shields us from the rain; God’s blessing and fellowship cannot get through when we are holding up our umbrella of sin. Recognize sin, confess sin, get serious with the removal of sin from your life. We need God for this, if we could clean up our own lives on our own, we wouldn’t need Christ.

3. Obedience to His Word – 1 John 2:3-5, 3:24, 5:2

Immaturity says that all I have to do in order to be saved is believe the stories of Jesus. I don’t have to be a fanatic of this Christianity stuff, like keep all those rules in the Bible.

Maturity says that if I truly have faith, I will want to demonstrate that faith in meaningful and practical ways. A child who tells his father that he loves him yet lives in total rebellion to the father’s will does not really love his father. Jesus said, “He who does not love Me does not keep My words.” (John 14:24)

Remedy: Discover what the Lord requires (Micah 6:8), follow His commands (1 Samuel 15:11, Matthew 5:19, John 14:15, 15:10, 1 Timothy 6:14), act in a manner worthy of the salvation that has been so freely given (Ephesians 4:1, 2 Thessalonians 1:11). God’s grace is free because it cost you nothing, but it is costly because it cost God the sacrifice of His only Son (Romans 5:8, John 3:16). How do we discover God’s commands? Read His word, discuss His word in a small group, and hide His word in your Heart so that you may not sin against God (Psalm 119:105).

4. Attitude toward the world – 1 John 2:15

Immaturity says that I need to be just like the world in order to identify with others, keep up with the Jones’, acquire more stuff, build debt in order to live beyond my means. If you want to be a winner, you have to drive like a winner. I serve a first class God and He expects me to live a first class life. I must live for today, get all I can, can all I get and just live for now.

Maturity says that this world is temporary and things do not last nor do they bring ultimate satisfaction. Everything on Earth will all pass away, except the Word of God (Isaiah 40:8) and people (Revelation 22:5), both will last forever.

Remedy: Have a proper perspective on possessions, power and popularity. You can be a follower of Christ and have all of these but the pursuit of them at the wrong time, in the wrong way for the wrong reason often leads to worldliness.

5. Persecution because of Christ – 1 John 2:18-19

Immaturity says that since I am a believer, God will shield me from trials, troubles and temptation. Life is much easier as a believer; if times are tough, it’s because I’ve done something wrong or am living in sin, or have forgotten to confess something.

Maturity says that since the world hated and persecuted Christ and the early church, why should I expect to be treated any differently (John 15:18-19)? Here, John says it’s the last hour, and in the last quarter, the enemy wants to tear down all that Christ has established. Many enemies of Christ have arisen; they started out with them, but have not remained faithful. They turned to the dark side, going against Christ (anti Christ).

Remedy: Stand strong with the body of Christ, the church; remain in solid fellowship with sound doctrinal belief. Understand that there are many who have tasted from the River of Life but have turned back to their former ways (Hebrews 6:4, 5, 6, Matthew 13:20, 21), and have fanned into flame a critical spirit of Christianity. Many former believers will ridicule the faith and those who hold dear the truths of the Bible. They are not apathetic about Christ, they have become anti-Christ. Their goal is for Christianity to be removed from every corner of society. Expect persecution; Paul tells us that all who desire to live a godly life will be persecuted (2 Timothy 3:12).

6. Anticipation of the second coming – 1 John 3:2-3

Immaturity says that I have plenty of time before Jesus returns; I want to travel, get married, earn a million, run for office, complete a marathon, experience the pleasures of the world, get my degree… I’m in no hurry to get my life straightened out.

Maturity says that this life is but a vapor and will quickly pass away (James 4:14). When He finally comes back at the Father’s command (Mark 13:32), John tells us that we shall be like Him and will see Him as He is; perfect and sinless (1 John 2:2). John mentions having this hope, fixed on Christ. Hope looks to the future, and we as believers ought to be ready (Matthew 24:42, 2 Timothy 4:2, 1 Peter 3:15, Revelation 21:2).

Remedy: Allow God to convict us of sin (John 16:8) and let His cleansing make us ready to see Christ. When He comes, we do not want to be caught off guard and ashamed (Luke 9:26, Romans 1:16, 2 Timothy 1:8, 2:15). If we live with the anticipation of His coming, our behavior will change. We begin to live as a bride getting ready for her wedding day; keeping herself pure and spotless, waiting for her Groom and the big celebration (Revelation 21:2, 9).

7. Lifestyle of godliness – 1 John 3:5-6

Immaturity says that my lifestyle does not need to be in line with my beliefs. I’m saved and it doesn’t matter how I live, I’m secure and on my way to heaven. Once saved, always saved.

Maturity says that because of my beliefs, I will bring my life in line with the commands of Christ. The one who has his hope in Christ will purify himself; as an act of the will. We are to be holy because He is holy (1 Peter 1:16). We must conform to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29) and since He is pure, we are to be pure. Don’t live like the world.

Remedy: We will never be sinless, but hopefully we will sin less next week than we did last week. The will of God is your sanctification (1 Thessalonians 4:3), meaning we must become more and more like Christ every day.

8. Love for each other – 1 John 3:11, 14, 16-18

Immaturity says that I don’t have to forgive or love those whom I don’t like. It’s my right to hold a grudge for what they did to me.

Maturity says that we love each other, and even our enemies (Matthew 5:44), because love is from God. God IS love (1 John 4:7). Love is active and not passive. God so loved us that He acted (John 3:16, Romans 5:8).

Remedy: Notice the parallel between John 3:16 and 1 John 3:16. The Father loved, and gave, and laid down His only Son; we are to love others and lay down our lives for the brethren. First John 3:18 tells us to not love in word only, but with actions. James writes similarly (James 2:17, 26). Think of practical ways that you can love and serve others out of the abundance of gratitude we have for what God has done for us.

9. Discernment between good and evil – 1 John 4:1-6, 5:20

Immaturity says that knowing right from wrong or truth from error is something the pastor determines; or some other authority figure in my life.

Maturity says that since I have the Holy Spirit in my life, I am able to recognize spiritual error when I see it. I will not fall to faddish false teaching that leads people away from the truth found in the Bible.

Remedy: To be mature we need to grow up in all aspects pertaining to God (Ephesians 4:15). Someone may come to you with some new teaching that is called a “revelation from God” so we must be able to recognize such error. We may not be able to quote the Scripture, but the witness of the Spirit tells us that something is just not right. A lot of this preparation comes from Christian education that we find in the body of Christ. Just why is Sunday School so important? Not only is it our most effective strategy to reach lost people with the gospel, but it helps prepare believers for the times when the enemy will throw error our way to see if we can be led astray. A mature Christian is one who is continually learning God’s Word.

10. Witness of the Spirit – 1 John 4:13, 3:24

Immaturity says that we cannot really know that we are saved; therefore we live in doubt and fear about our eternal security.

Maturity says that God intends for us to be confident in our salvation and our future, because He has given us His Spirit to live inside of us.

Remedy: Allow God to take up residence in your heart. The Holy Spirit will convict the world of sin, righteousness and judgment (John 16:8). The Spirit will become our Helper (John 16:7) and our Guide who will disclose the truth to us (John 16:13). The more we know the Bible, the more the truth is implanted in our hearts, and the inner witness of the Spirit will give us confidence that we belong to Him.

11. Settled doctrinal belief – 1 John 5:1-2, 4:14-15

Immaturity says that God may not be finished in revealing His plan to mankind; that new revelation happens today that can change our spiritual understanding. Who is to say that we have it right? What if God should reveal something new? Aren’t all religions equally true? Isn’t is narrow minded to claim Jesus is the only way to salvation or heaven?

Maturity says that the Bible is our only source of faith and practice. Peter tells us that God has given us everything pertaining to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). John tells us that no one is to add or take away from this book (Revelation 22:18, 19 – whether this is just the book of the Revelation prophecy or on a larger scale to include the entire Bible).

Remedy: Have a settled doctrinal belief. Be convinced that only those who love the Child born of God are really lovers of the Father. No one knocking on the door claiming the existence of modern apostles and new revelation are going to bring doubt in your mind. No one telling you that there are other ways of getting into a right relationship with God will cause you to rethink your theology. You will take no consideration to anyone claiming that Jesus is not God incarnate, the God-Man, deity in a manger and the risen Savior who is alive today, who invites you into an everlasting relationship with Him, and who is right here present with us today, knocking on the door of your heart.

These are the marks of a mature Christian, and I trust that you can examine yourself this day, to see whether you are in the faith, or if you need to get started on the greatest journey of all.

12. Answered prayer – 1 John 5:14-15

Immaturity says that prayer is an archaic practice that borders on superstition; why pray when it appears God does not answer?

Maturity says that prayer is worthwhile, not because of how God answers, but because prayer helps develop our relationship with God. Prayer is communication with the one who loves us and saves us. We spend time with those whom we love, and we communicate by talking and listening. Prayer is not a magical incantation that gets us the desires of our heart; name it and claim it.

Remedy: Answered prayer is not just getting what you ask for, but it is the confidence we have that He hears us (Condition alert – IF we ask according to His will). How do we know He hears us, answered prayer; but according to His will is the key. When we lose self, embrace Christ, and literally go “through the pit” with Christ (in order to get the mind of Christ), what we ask for will change. When we ask in accordance to God’s will, he hears and answers.

Set Apart or Living Like the World?

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Why is it that some people who are actively a part of the church seem to make such poor choices in their lives? I’m talking about choices that are not only conduct unbecoming a follower of Christ but could very well be illegal in some cases. We all have good intentions, but the fact is, good intentions are never good enough. We need to emphasize life change. My Sunday Bible study class recently finished a study on real life change… the churchy word is transformation (Romans 12:2).

The kind of change that God wants to see in a believer’s life does not happen by an act of will. We all have hurts, habits, and hang-ups that keep us from being everything that God wants us to be. We won’t change simply by trying harder.

The Bible says, “If the Son sets you free, you will indeed be free” (John 8:36) but if you look around our church, a lot of people are sitting around in chains. We’re not living free. You may have been a believer for 20 years, or a teenager who is new in the faith, but many people still have the same habits, the same struggles, and the same worldliness and values that everyone outside the church does. People are simply not growing into the likeness of Christ.

We often feel like Paul when he writes about his struggle with sin (Romans 7:15, 18-19, 23, 24). I believe that all of us can identify with that. In every human being there’s a civil war going on inside – between what is good and what is bad, between God and the enemy. The changes that God wants to see happen in your life, and those of our congregation, are going to take more than desire, determination and a prayer.

Just attending church isn’t the answer. Plenty of people who attend our church are not living lives worthy of the calling of Christ (Ephesians 4:1, 2 Thessalonians 1:11). I’ve been around church people most of my life, and I have come to realize that there are many people who had been in church for years who are just as envious, just as angry, just as sinful, and just as worldly as everyone else. The church doesn’t change you on the inside.

According to Paul, he discovered how to experience real life change (Romans 7:25). Paul’s answer for life change is the same for all of us sitting in church each weekend. He says, “Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.”

As cliché as it sounds, Jesus really is the answer. Believers are to live in such a way as to show people how Jesus brings about lasting change. How should a believer’s life change because of a relationship with Christ? Have you ever thought about actually living out the teaching of Jesus in His Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7)?

It’s not enough to just capitulate, go along with the crowd and claim that living the Christ life is too hard. Worse yet, how many people around us want to believe the facts about Christ, secure their fire insurance, but have no intention of growing in the likeness of Christ? If we claim the name of Christ, we must also seek to live the life of Christ. It doesn’t happen overnight, but we must strive toward Christ likeness as our goal.

At KGBC, we seek to “Know Christ and Make Him Known.” It is impossible to make Him known if we really don’t know Him. If we don’t strive to live in the light as He is in the light (1 John 1:7) how can we claim to be His follower? Every day we wake up and have to make a choice; will I live for Christ or live like those who are lost without Him?

Great Commission Resurgence

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I think Henry Blackaby put his finger exactly on the point when Baptist Press reported, “If Southern Baptists want to see a ‘Great Commission Resurgence,’ Henry Blackaby believes they need to focus on the relationship between disciples and the living Lord Jesus, not launch a new emphasis on evangelism.” 

Blackaby also said, “I have felt for a long time that Southern Baptists have focused on evangelism and missed discipleship. The most important part of the Great Commission is teach them to practice everything I have commanded you. That’s discipleship and that’s the heart of the Great Commission. If we want to have a resurgence in the Great Commission, there’s got to be a refocusing on the priorities of Christ for discipleship.”

Ten Commandments of Mentoring

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Seems there are Ten Commandments for most any organization, which obviously started in the Old Testament, but I found these two lists of the top 10 relating to mentoring. The first is a classic list of “do’s” and “don’ts” for effective mentoring, written by John C Crosby of the Uncommon Individual Foundation.

 

  1. Thou shalt not play God.
  2. Thou shalt not play teacher.
  3. Thou shalt not play mother or father.
  4. Thou shalt not lie with your body.
  5. Active listening is the holy time and shalt practice it at every session.
  6. Thou shalt not be judgmental.
  7. Thou shalt not lose heart because of repeated disappointments.
  8. Thou shalt practice empathy, not sympathy.
  9. Thou shalt not believe that thou can move mountains.
  10. Thou shalt not envy thy neighbor’s protégé, nor they neighbor’s success.

 

This second list of questions is designed to evaluate the mentoring relationship, written by Paul Stanley and J. Robert Clinton from Christianity Today. Ask the question and rate yourself with: Fully, Partially, or Didn’t.

 

  1. Establish a strong relationship. The stronger the relationship, the greater the empowerment. As you look for potential protégés, keep compatibility and chemistry in mind.
  2. Agree on purpose. A basic rule in planning is “begin with the end in mind.” When mentoring proves disappointing, the problem usually points back to differing or unfulfilled expectations. So at the very beginning, agree on what you’re both hoping to achieve.
  3. Determine contact frequency. Intensive mentoring works best with at least once-a-week contact, either face-to-face or by phone.
  4. Decide on the type of accountability. Will you use written reports, scheduled phone calls, probing questions during meetings, or a planned evaluation time?
  5. Set up communication mechanisms. As mentors, we have always asked our protégés, “If I see or learn of an area of concern, how and when do you want me to communicate it to you?”
  6. Clarify the confidentiality level. Make it clear when something you share should be treated as confidential.
  7. Set the relationship’s life cycle. It’s best to avoid open-ended mentorships. Better to have short periods, evaluation, and closure points with the possibility of reentry than have a sour relationship for a long time that each fears terminating.
  8. Evaluate regularly. See where progress has been made, where there are problems, and what should be done to improve the mentoring. Joint evaluation is always best
  9. Modify expectations as necessary. After a time of mentoring, bring expectations down to what is more likely going to happen—and give thanks for it.
  10. Bring closure at the right time. Vertical mentoring that has no clear end in mind will usually dwindle to nothing with uneasy feelings on the part of both people. A happy ending requires that both parties be involved in evaluating and mutually ending the mentoring relationship.

 

Steps to Effective Mentoring

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The Bible challenges us to make every moment count (James 4:14), so taking steps toward becoming more effective are positive ones. If you want to enjoy the mentoring experience, consider these steps:

  1. Select a mentor or protégé whose philosophy of life you share. The greatest mentors are also our role models. In the church, who is it that you sense has a close walk with God? What qualities does this person possess that makes them a hero in the faith for you?
  2. Choose a protégé with potential, someone you generally believe in. Then you help that person get to where he wants to go. Sports scouts do this all the time.
  3. Evaluate the protégé’s progress constantly. Remain objective and correct when necessary or encourage him to stay on course.
  4. Be committed, serious and available to your protégé. This person desires to learn from your life, not just your information.

Every mentor should also have a mentor. Mentors are not just wise older people passing on a lifetime of knowledge and experience to a younger person. It looks that way on the outside but after a closer look, the mentor also should have his own mentor from whom life, knowledge and experience have come. In the past is one thing, but it is also good to maintain a mentoring relationship of their own, someone to whom they are currently accountable.

Part of the mentoring process is to help your protégé ask the right questions, search in the right places and stay interested in the right answers. Sometimes the protégé has no clue where he needs to go much less how to get there. But you’ve been there and know where they need to go. Ask the right questions and help the protégé ask the right questions to discover their next steps.

Decide on the level of excellence or perfection you expect. Remember the goal of mentoring is improvement, not perfection. How many of us would step into a mentoring relationship if perfection was required!? We would not even seek a mentor since no one is perfect. If we expect perfection in a protégé, we will be very disappointed.

As a protégé, accept a subordinate, learning position and keep your ego in check; don’t let it get in the way of learning. Don’t try to impress the mentor with your knowledge or abilities; you could be setting up a mental barrier against learning new ideas. When we have a proud, know-it-all attitude, we are not teachable. This should not be like a teacher assigning homework that the student doesn’t want to do. In teaching, it is frustrating to assign a task and the student not do it. There are some students who do the assignment for more than just a grade; they do it with an eagerness to learn. It’s like a person voluntarily going back to school after a lifetime in the business world. These people tend to be much better students than those who are there just for the degree. When you know the outcome or benefit, it is much easier to accept a learning position.

A protégé should respect the mentor but should not idolize him. This is a practical issue: respect helps us to accept what the mentor teaches, but idolizing him removes our critical ability to fit their teaching into ourselves. With an idol, we see no faults and are not objective.

Put into effect immediately what you are learning. People don’t remember much of what we say, a little more of what is read, even more of what we hear, read and talk about; but if we want real life change, we need to put learning into practice. Learn, practice and assimilate new ideas and strategies.

Set up a discipline for relating to your mentor; a time schedule, subject matter, homework. It must be more than “we’ll get together sometime” or “we will make time.” There are goals set, calendars are brought out and dates set, assignments are made and the protégé is held accountable and encouraged in them. The protégé will reward the mentor with his own progress, which is the highest reward.

Don’t threaten to give up; you have made a decision for progress and quitting is not in the best interest in the protégé. We cannot mentor only during the good times, but we should hold on to the commitments we make, and guide and direct the protégé through times of difficulty.

Make every effort to make your time on this earth count. Life is a vapor and time is short, then it vanishes away. When we get to the other side, everything but the kingdom will be irrelevant.