Leadership – Page 10 – HeartQuest 101

Men and Accountability, Part 6

Posted on November 17, 2009 by Scott Chafee

Six parts… you thought I was done with this Bible passage, didn’t you? Here’s another thing to glean from this passage of Scripture… from an event in the life of Moses and Joshua dealing with accountability and men. (see also Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5)

Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought against Amalek; and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. (Exodus 17:10)

Have you ever thought about what mentoring is all about? It’s basically one person (the mentor) investing his life into another person (the protégé or learner). Some men have a natural drawing to another man, someone whose career, marriage, lifestyle or spiritual connection with God is so impressive or inspiring that other men just like being near them. Perhaps one can learn a few things through close proximity or through books, but this really is about relationships.

Mentoring is seldom a prearranged situation. Sure, you can get into an official program and actually mentor another person, but there is usually a time limitation or the relationship ends at some point. While mentoring is not a permanent relationship, it does continue. The ideal would have the protégé being mentored while he keeps his eyes open to the possibility of mentoring someone else.

“Joshua did as Moses told him” (Exodus 17:10). I sense that Moses and Joshua had such a close relationship that Joshua hungered to sit at Moses’ feet and learn what God wanted him to do. At this stage in their relationship, God spoke to Moses and then Moses would speak to the people. Today, we have direct access to God through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. No one gets to the Father except through Christ (John 14:6), but we must also understand that God will often speak through His servants, like a mentor. As a mentor seeks after God, his goal is to pass on what he learns and his experience to the next generation. Joshua was a protégé who knew what needed to be done. He understood the big picture and was obedient, perhaps unto death. There was no guarantee that Joshua would not lose his life during this battle with the Amalekites.

So who is Joshua anyway? His name means, “Yahweh delivered.” Joshua is one of the unsung heroes of the Old Testament. It was he, not Moses, who led the people of Israel into the Promised Land. He was a person of such stature that he could succeed the incomparable Moses and compile a record of notable success (Joshua 24:31). His name in the New Testament is equivalent to Jesus.

Joshua was born in Egypt during the period of slavery. He was a member of Ephraim, the important tribe that later formed the heart of the Northern Kingdom of Israel. He first appeared in our current passage, during this battle with the Amalekites. He was Moses’ general, who led the troops in the actual fighting (Exodus 17:10, 14).

Joshua was also Moses’ servant (Exodus 24:13). He was on the mountain when Moses received the Law, or Ten Commandments (Exodus 32:16-17). He was also one of the twelve spies Moses sent to investigate Canaan (Numbers 13:8, 16). He and Caleb returned with a positive, minority report. Of all the adults alive at that time, only the two of them were allowed to live to enter the land of Canaan (Numbers 14:28-30, 38).

The Lord selected Joshua to be Moses’ successor long before Moses’ death (Numbers 27:15-23; Deuteronomy 31:14-15, 23; 34:9). Joshua was a military leader, a political leader, and a spiritual leader. He was quiet and unassuming, but he was not afraid of his responsibilities or the task that lay before him. He was a battlefield genius, particularly in the areas of careful planning, strategy, and execution. He was a capable administrator for the nation, effective in maintaining harmony among people and groups. He was a spokesman to the people for the Lord. Though he did not receive the Law as Moses had, he communicated the Lord’s will and the Lord’s message much like Moses (Joshua 24:2, 14, 15).

Joshua was leading the nation during the conquest and the distribution and settlement of Canaan. He led in the covenant renewal at mount Ebal and Shechem (Joshua 8:30-35; 24:1-28). He was able to challenge his people by both word and example. He set a pattern that is hard to live up to. Moses had guided (or mentored) Joshua to be the effective leader he had become.

The goal of the mentor is for the protégé to become greater than oneself, to pass on knowledge and experience so that one day the protégé will succeed in life. We see this in Joshua because Moses invested himself into Joshua, and God was able to take that and use him for greater glory. Who do you see as a mentor, and when are you going to formally step into that relationship for the greater good of your marriage, family and spiritual life?

Join us this Saturday at 7:30 in the Welcome Center. Then we can go visit a man of steel in Virginia Beach General.

Actions that Take Courage

Posted on June 10, 2009 by Scott Chafee

I’ve been thinking about how the Men of Steel can take knowledge and principles and put them into practice. We have been doing it all along, but I recently read this list of actions that take courage and wanted to pass it on, after all the Bible commands us to take courage and be men (1 Samuel 4:9 – although in this case it is said of the Philistines). Here’s the courageous list:

Admitting when we are wrong.
Doing what is right when everyone else isn’t.
Speaking to someone you don’t know.
Saying “no” when someone is trying to get you to do something you know you shouldn’t do.
Telling the truth and accepting the consequences.
Standing up for something you believe in even though it might mean rejection, ridicule of physical harm.
Defending someone who is considered unpopular or unacceptable.
Facing a limitation and giving it your very best regardless of pain or discomfort.
Confronting a fear without running away.
Giving sacrificially to protect or promote either someone you love, someone who has been wronged, or someone who is in need.
Being the only one.
Taking a risk.
Sharing your heart honestly; including your fears, feelings and failures.
Living your faith with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength regardless of the cost.

Not a bad list to live by. How many times do we find ourselves lacking courage; like the cowardly lion. His problem was that he had no heart. Seems that without a heart he would have asked for compassion or feelings or love… but courage? Courage is a lot like love; it must be expressed, or demonstrated. Courage is an action and not a feeling. As an example, God loved, and took action (Romans 5:8, John 3:16).

The Bible has a lot to say about courage:

Joshua 1:6, 7, 9, 18, 10:25 – Take courage when you are called to lead.
1 Samuel 4:9 – Take courage and be men.
2 Samuel 10:12 – Be strong and courageous for the sake of your family.
1 Chronicles 28:10, 20, Ezra 10:4 – Be courageous and act.
2 Chronicles 15:7 – Don’t lose courage, for there is reward for your work.
Psalm 27:14 – Take courage and wait on God.
Psalm 31:24 – Take courage since we hope in the Lord.
Isaiah 35:4 – Take courage, God will save you.
In the New Testament: Matthew 9:2, 22, Mark 6:50, 10:49, John 16:33, Acts 23:11, 27:25, 2 Corinthians 5:6, 8, Philippians 1:14.

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New Ways of Experiencing God

Posted on June 8, 2009 by Scott Chafee

I was reading about the new Barna research that indicated Americans are exploring new ways of experiencing God, and the results are interesting. Since I am passionate about men’s ministry, I wondered how this information might be applied to our situation at King’s Grant, and the Men of Steel in particular.

88% of American adults say that “my religious faith is very important in my life.”
Faith is not going away despite the prolific media attention devoted to the demise of traditional faith practices and beliefs. Nine out of ten adults admit that their faith plays a meaningful role in their life. There is nothing on the horizon to suggest that this is likely to change in the foreseeable future.

If this is so, and that KGBC might be considered average, we would also have a high percentage of people understanding that faith is an important aspect of life (at least ideologically). For those who have responded to the call of Christ, I would hope that belief would manifest itself in an active pursuit of godliness, turning from vices that enslave, and understanding the need for authentic community in the development of one’s faith.

75% say they sense that “God is motivating people to stay connected with Him, but in different ways and through different types of experiences than in the past.”
There is a growing sense of release from traditional religious practices in this country. People are suggesting that they want more of God and less of the stuff that gets between them and their relationship with God.

There is talk and evidence that the church might not be the place to find God, so people are seeking out alternative experiences and expressions of spirituality, (I’ve also read that while people may love Jesus many hate the church). The church might be one of those issues that get between God and them. My concern is that without the community of faith (the church), just what do people get involved with, and what do they believe? The Bible warns about false doctrine (2 Peter 2:1). It is not just an archaic notion of controlling the masses, but if we really believe that God has “given us everything pertaining to life and godliness” (through the true knowledge of God – 2 Peter 1:3), then we have a solid standard for belief, faith and practice. The Bible was written for a purpose (1 John 5:13), that we might know that we have life. If God was going to reveal new information at a later time, the New Testament writers would have made a mistake… primarily that they were not given everything pertaining to life.

45% say they are “willing to try a new church.”
A staggering number of Americans – almost half of the nation’s 230 million adults – are open to changing their church home, demonstrating their lack of connection with their present community of faith and their desire to have a more significant connection. It may also be a reflection of people’s increasing lack of loyalty to both organizations and personal relationships, and the growing sense that there is always something better available if you can simply find it.

I read this statistic as people seeking faith yet lacking connection to the community of faith. They don’t trust the organized church. Christian leaders have moral failures. Role models have let us down. People are skeptical about this whole church thing so they stay at a distance.

I understand the lack of loyalty in this generation: if it gets hard, quit; if you no longer love her or she doesn’t meet your needs, divorce; if I deserve a pay raise but don’t get it, steal; if my church does not go in this direction, leave and look for another one. Some people change churches for completely legitimate reasons, but often the main reason is less than noble. If the church is “all about me and what I want” rather than “all about God and what He deserves,” we’ve lost focus.

Lack of loyalty to a church also manifests itself by lacking personal relationships within the organization. The churchy word for this is fellowship. We are so busy in the business world that we think we don’t have time for developing spiritual connections that will help us grow in Christ, be a better husband, a better father, neighbor, boss, employee, you name it. Spending time with the Men of Steel may not get you connected to the people who can give you that promotion, but it will help develop your character by connecting to other men who also desire spiritual and relational connection and growth. We don’t have to go through our spiritual lives alone. Life transformation takes place in community, not in a cocoon.

50% say “a growing number of people I know are tired of the usual type of church experience.”
It is not just the survey respondents who indicated their willingness to change churches or to consider different forms of church experience. Half of all adults said they are aware of such a willingness to experiment on the part of people they know because those individuals are tired of the common church experience.

If the church is not what we are looking for (socially, relationally, professionally, spiritually) we tend to bail out or simply not participate. Why participate in something you don’t feel is a benefit to your life goals and personal vision? But as a believer, what better life goal and vision than to prepare yourself and your family for eternity? How are you the spiritual leader of your home? What behaviors are you modeling for your children? How does your wife know that you love her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25)? How does all that you do at home, at work or in the community reflect your love for God (Colossians 3:17)?

How many men do you know who are totally “satisfied” with the status quo? I put satisfied in quotes because I believe that men are never satisfied with being mediocre. Men are conquerors and hunters and are never satisfied with a measly existence. Men want their lives to count for something. Men want to be a part of something bigger than themselves. How can a man do that and be satisfied with the status quo? How many men come to church only because the wife brings him? Maybe if more women got on board with men’s ministry, they would see the benefit of the Men of Steel and push their husbands out of the house on Saturday mornings! (See Barna’s quote below). Get a man tired of the common church experience and he’s the one who is going to make a difference in life, the family and the workplace.

71% say they are “more likely to develop my religious beliefs on my own, rather than to accept an entire set of beliefs that a particular church teaches.”
Levels of distrust toward churches, church leaders and organized Christianity have been growing over the past two decades. That concern – along with the heightened independence of Americans and the profound access to information that has characterized the past decade – may have led to the emergence of a large majority of adults feeling responsible for their own theological and spiritual development. Other studies have shown an inclination for people to view a local church as a supplier of useful guidance and support, but not necessarily a reliable source of a comprehensive slate of beliefs that they must adopt.
Across the board, the research showed that women are driving these changes. This is particularly significant given prior research from Barna showing that women are more spiritually inclined, are the primary shapers of family faith experiences, and are the backbone of activity in the typical conventional church. Specifically, Barna discovered that women were more likely than men to pursue their faith in a different type of structure or environment (68% of women, 59% of men); to sense that God is motivating people to experience faith in different ways (79% vs. 60%, respectively); and to be willing try a new church (50% vs. 40%).

It’s great that people want to take control of their own spiritual development, but how often does this lead to spiritual syncretism, a blending of beliefs, (sometimes contradictory beliefs) to form one’s own theology. This is a product of our post-modern society that emphasizes truth is relative. What is true for one person may not be true for another. So we develop an Oprah-styled theology mixing in what we like and eliminating that which we don’t. The positive side is that people are taking responsibility for their spiritual growth, which is a sign of spiritual maturity. It’s not necessarily the responsibility of the church, the pastor or the Sunday school teacher, but it’s up to the believer to work out their salvation (Philippians 2:13). But remember that we don’t do this alone, God is the one who will bring it to completion (Philippians 1:6), and He uses the church to help people grow in godliness (Hebrews 10:24-25).

This post is certainly long enough (and I’m concluding) but I see men’s ministry in the context of the local church. I am not seeking a group to replace the Sunday school hour. It’s not about adding another Bible study during the week. It’s not about numbers or starting new groups. I ask myself, “How many men have simply told God that all He gets is one or two hours a week on Sunday mornings, and it’s unreasonable to think about being involved any more?” It’s about growth, development, and sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17). I value the Men of Steel… manly fellowship, commons struggles, open dialogue, becoming what God intended from the beginning and passing it on to the next generation.

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How to Guide Your Destiny

Posted on May 26, 2009 by Scott Chafee

When I taught at Hargrave Military Academy, I remember the chaplain had a great saying regarding character and destiny (a quote from Frank Outlaw):

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

These are not only wise words for developing strong character and leadership in young men and women, but also for anyone desiring to make a difference in business, school, marriage, and life.

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Being a Real Man

Posted on April 21, 2009 by Scott Chafee

There is a lot of confusion among men these days. Just look at the commercials we see on TV. I saw one about a guy commenting on his wife’s breakfast cereal choice. The box mentioned “low fat” or something like that so he asked if she’s trying to loose weight. He’s a good husband desiring to engage in communication with his wife, but she slams him, “Are you saying I need to be on a diet?” She asks, “What else does the box say?” Caught in a trap he tries to say the right thing until the clams up after telling her the box says “Shut up, Steve.”

Or how about dads in TV shows: What sort of dads do we find on Family Guy, Jimmy Neutron, The Fairly Odd Parents, Married With Children, or The Simpsons. The cool guys are usually the single men; married guys are idiots, irresponsible dopes, certainly not worth imitating, leaving us to wonder why she married him in the first place (or did she turn him that way?).

I remember when I was younger; there was a book that made fun of masculine stereotypes called, “Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche” (another was “Real Men Don’t Bond” and “Real Men Don’t Say Splendid: a Lexicon of Unmanliness”). Humorous, but I sort of LIKE quiche… eggs in a pie crust, throw in some Italian sausage, bacon, onions… anyway. I also remember Christians came out with their own “real men” statements, like, “Real Men Love Jesus.”

In thinking about men, marriages and family life, I thought I’d post this short list of what it means to be a real man:

A real man includes his wife in looking toward the future.
A real man accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.
A real man is willing to say, “I’m sorry” and “forgive me” to his family.
A real man discusses household responsibilities with his wife to make sure he is pulling weight.
A real man consults with his wife on all major financial purchases.
A real man follows through on the commitments he has made to his wife.
A real man frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.
A real man provides for his family’s basic living needs.
A real man deals with outside distractions so that he can be together with his wife and family.
A real man prays with his wife on a regular basis.
A real man initiates meaningful family traditions.
A real man initiates family outings on a regular basis.
A real man takes time to give his kids practical instruction about life.
A real man helps manage the schedule in the home.
A real man keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.
A real man draws up a will in case of his untimely death.
A real man lets his wife and kids into the interior of his life.
A real man honors his wife in public.
A real man encourages his wife to grow as an individual.
A real man provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.

Not a bad list. Seems we all can continue to work on our marriages… none of us has arrived. Share the wealth… what other items would you add to the list?

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How to Build and Maintain Integrity

Posted on March 26, 2009 by Scott Chafee

This week I was thinking about Craig’s comments about the honor code at the medical college and it made me consider the quality of integrity. People always talk about it but we can’t always get a handle on just what it is. John Maxwell has some wise words on the topic:

Integrity is important in building relationships: It is the foundation upon which success is built, along with respect, dignity and trust. If integrity is weak, success is impossible. I believe integrity is about the small things, often when no one is watching. Sort of like king David talking about the kind of shepherd he was when no one was looking (1 Samuel 17:34-37). We would not even have this story had David not revealed it! He was alone, and his true character was shining. It might have been too easy to say, “It’s only one sheep, why risk my life over one stinkin’ sheep?” David had integrity.

Consider these thoughts on integrity:

Integrity is not determined by circumstance: like your household or your upbringing. Circumstances are as responsible for your character as a mirror is for your looks… who you see only reflects who you are.
Integrity is not based on credentials: some people want to be judged not on who they really are but on some status they have achieved. These guys want to lead out of their credentials rather than the strength of their character. No title, degree, award or license can be a substitute for one’s character.
Integrity is not to be confused with reputation: Solomon once said that a good name is more desirable than great riches (Proverbs 22:1). D. L Moody once said that if I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of itself. We will struggle with maintaining our integrity if we do all the right things from the outside (without a changed inner strength).

Questions to help measure your integrity:

How well do I treat people if I gain nothing?
Am I transparent to others?
Do I role-play based on the person I’m with?
Am I the same person in the spotlight as I am when I’m alone?
Do I quickly admit to wrongdoing without being forced to do so?
Do I put people ahead of my personal agenda?
Do I have an unchanging standard for moral decisions, or do circumstances determine my choices?
Do I make difficult decisions, even when they have a personal cost attached to them?
When I have something to say about people, do I talk to them or about them?
Am I accountable to at least one other person for what I think, say or do?

Do what you should before you do what you want: Zig Ziglar once said, “When you do the things you have to do when you have to do them, the day will come when you can do the things you want to do when you want to do them.” If you know what you stand for and act accordingly, people will trust you! Great advice from a visionary leader.

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Excuses or Obedience?

Posted on March 18, 2009 by Scott Chafee

Terry Rae delivered a fantastic message on March 15 on Moses and obedience, After the initial shock of hearing God’s voice in a “burning” bush, I can imagine Moses listening to God (Exodus 3:6-9) and thinking, “right on, you know it’s tough back there, it’s about time You did something about it.” Then God adds one more phrase, “Therefore, come now, and I will send you to Pharaoh” (Exodus 3:10). Now it gets personal.

Then Moses asked some important questions about his mission, and he brought up some fairly reasonable concerns as to why God would want him to be the deliverer of God’s people. What’s the bottom line? God is calling Moses to obedience.

One of the problems I have constantly faced as a follower of Jesus is the mistake of believing God owes me some sort of an explanation every time He commands me to do something. This has caused me at times to expect God to explain Himself instead of me simply trusting Him enough to do exactly what He says.

I am learning that if I am to be the follower God wants me to be, then I need to be obsessed with obedience rather than expecting an explanation from Him! Imagine if there was an explanation every time God wanted you to do something. He could say, “You need to do this…and when you do it, the following will take place…”

But, I believe one of the reasons He doesn’t waste time with an explanation is because it would lead to negotiation on our part. We would hear His plan and try to “improve” it because, after all, we’re smarter than He is, right?

God’s plans are so much higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9, Ephesians 3:20) and if He were to try to explain Himself to us, our limited human minds could not handle it. There’s another misconception about God. That His work is all about us! In reality it is all about Him and His Kingdom. That’s why He owes me no explanation.

When we want an explanation, and try to enter into negotiation, it seems reasonable that it will always lead to frustration. There are lots of frustrated believers out there, and it could be because we refuse to obey His voice for no other reason than it doesn’t make sense.

God’s commands don’t always make sense, and we may never know why He asks us to do certain things, but, if we believe He is in charge, then we must believe that every single one of His commands are right. We must believe that He is holy, just and good; and whatever comes from my obedience must also be holy, just and good. God doesn’t owe us an explanation. The fact that He commands us at all or even uses us to do anything amazes me.

So, what is it that you have been putting off? Anything you’ve been asking God for an explanation about? What is it that you know He’s commanded you to do, but it absolutely makes no sense? Stop expecting an explanation. Listen to what He says and then do it!

Saddle up your horses for the great adventure! What a way to live!

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The Value of Listening

Posted on March 16, 2009 by Scott Chafee

According to John Maxwell, these are the benefits of listening to others:

Listening shows respect: It’s a mistake to try to impress others, trying to appear smart, witty or entertaining to the other person. If you want to impress others, focus on what they have to offer! Be impressed and interested rather than impressive and interesting.
Listening builds relationships: Dale Carnegie wrote that you can make more friends in two weeks by listening to people than you can in two years trying to get people interested in you (in How to Win Friends and Influence People). David Schwartz, in the Magic of Thinking Big, wrote that big people monopolize the listening while small people monopolize the talking.
Listening increases knowledge: It’s amazing how much you can learn by listening to others. Beware of thinking you have all the answers and being the expert. Continue growing and learning. None of us has arrived. Many people in authority begin to listen less and less.
Listening generates ideas: people love to contribute to the process, and have their leaders share the credit for ideas. Even if an idea doesn’t work, it might encourage other brainstorming ideas that will work.
Listening builds loyalty: if you don’t make it a practice to listen to people, they will find someone else who will: employees, spouses, children, friends, colleagues. Good listening will draw people toward you.

How to develop good listening habits:

Look at the speaker: you know how it works, undivided attention; don’t shuffle papers, type on the computer, watch TV, do the dishes, focus on the person.
Don’t interrupt: interruption shows disrespect. People generally interrupt because, 1) they don’t place value on what the other person has to say, 2) they want to impress others by showing how smart they are, or 3) they are too excited about the conversation to allow the other person to finish talking. Check your motives.
Focus on understanding: universities have studied information retention and we tend to forget 50% of what we hear, and retain only 25% the next day. Increase in understanding helps retention. It’s more than just hearing the words.
Determine the need at the moment: men want to fix things, so the need at the moment is resolution. Women tend to want to share information and discuss things.
Check your emotions: don’t make the unsuspecting person a recipient of your unvented emotions.
Suspend your judgment: you can’t jump to conclusions and be a good listener at the same time. Wait to hear the whole story.
Sum up at major intervals: comment on what you hear by summing up what you have heard. If you truly understand the situation, the person will let you know. If you don’t understand, this allows opportunity to get it right. Summarize one idea before going on to the next.
Ask questions for clarity: top reporters are great at asking questions to get to the bottom of the story. They focus on understanding, suspend judgment and sum up what the person has to say.
Make listening your priority: no matter how busy you are, this practice of listening is essential.

Good suggestions for effective leadership at home and the office!

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REAL Leadership

Posted on March 5, 2009 by Scott Chafee

This week I had been approached about the possibility of doing a series on leadership. There are certainly plenty of resources available so I thought we’d take a look at the top leadership guy, John Maxwell. I went to a REAL Leadership conference years ago and thought some of the things learned would benefit the Men of Steel in their professional lives as well as their families.

REAL stands for Relationships, Equipping, Attitudes and Leadership. Let’s take a look at Relationships:

Why are relationships important? They are the glue that holds team members together. Solid relationships are built upon mutual respect (you can’t make someone feel important if he secretly feels like a nobody), shared experiences (you can’t be relational with someone you don’t know), trust (as you respect people and spend time with them, trust develops), reciprocity (one-sided relationships don’t really last) and mutual enjoyment (as relationships grow, people begin to enjoy one another).

What do we need to know about others? People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. I generally agreed with this statement until my friend Craig (an anatomy professor at the medical school in Norfolk) said “until you’re looking for a surgeon.” Great point!

Why do people fail to understand others? Fear (fear can be in most work environments, we must give others the benefit of the doubt and replace fear with understanding), Self-centeredness (this is natural for people, so try to see from the other person’s perspective), failure to appreciate differences (a team is no good if they all have the same skills, we need people who have talents that we don’t have), failure to acknowledge similarities (put yourself in the other person’s shoe and ask how you’d handle the situation).

Things everyone needs to understand about people.

Everybody wants to be somebody. We want to be regarded by others, to do something significant. Treat people as if they are important.
Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. People are your greatest asset, so love them, do good, be honest, help them, if better is possible, to do good is not enough.
Everybody needs somebody. Contrary to popular opinion, there are no self-made men or women Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. Give honor to those who helped you get where you are today.
Everybody can be somebody when somebody understands and believes in them. Go out of your way to make people feel special. Invest in them. Everyone has the potential to become important in the lives of others.
Anybody who helps somebody has the potential in influence a lot of bodies. You can impact a lot of people! The nature of influence seems to multiply.

Choose this day that you will seek to understand others. How will this impact your marriage, your family, your work environment? Next time I’ll write about the building blocks of relationships.

The Lame Man at the Gate

Posted on January 23, 2009 by Scott Chafee

The Men of Steel looked into this topic; this lame man represents all men and the issues we face:

Today I write about a story in the Bible where Peter and John go to church together for prayer time, at around 3:00 in the afternoon. In this story is a lame man who was carried into the Temple and is sitting at the Beautiful Gate (Acts 3:1-2).

Think about the lame guy for a moment. There was nothing wrong with this man in many parts of his body, because he could see, hear, touch and speak. He could move his upper body just fine. There was really only one thing wrong, he could not walk due to his crippled lower legs or feet. But that one weakness was severe enough to affect his entire life. We might say that this one problem was a whole-life problem.

He was handicapped and needed to be carried. He could not support himself, stand on his own or live life on his own. His situation had nothing to do with his character, whether he was a good man in his heart or in his motives. It had to do with having a bad problem.

His problem made him dependent on other people. His problem interfered with the lives of others, being carried to a place to beg and at the end of the day he is carried back home. He could not get to where he wanted to be on his own.

Perhaps this guy felt discouraged or he had a low self-esteem. A man in this situation will feel demeaned and diminished. He is not allowed to participate in activities with other men. Perhaps he does not feel like a real man.

Maybe his physical lameness moved to his emotions and his spirit. This would mean that at the beginning his legs were lame, now he was lame.

I feel that nearly all men are in this position today. We each have a weakness that keeps us from functioning as a whole person. Most of us just deny our lameness. We also pass by others because we do not have the courage or the compassion to stop and help.

This is why I have such a heart for a ministry to men. I may not have all the answers, but my heart bleeds for men who are trapped by their own lameness, many of whom don’t realize or recognize their need.

I hope that the Men of Steel will help all of us to stop fooling ourselves. We need God’s healing power. We need His strength to be the men He has called us to be. We are lame at the gate and we need help.

The good news is that God sends people our way, right to our place at the gate. They help us understand what God has for us. Look out for that person in your life, and let him in to your circle. Remember to be aware that you may be that person to another lame man.