Why Marriages Fall Apart

I hate to see marriages falling apart, and God is not fond of it either (Malachi 2:16). Take a look at Tiger Woods this past week; not that divorce is in his future, but it seems that his marriage is (to say the least) on the rocks. I am desperate to see the covenant of marriage taken seriously by the church and I pray that our teenagers, 20-somethings and young adults will be the generation that really begins to see marriage as God does.

So, Men of Steel, why do you think marriages fall apart? Let me suggest a few things…

Lack of Commitment: whenever a couple enters into marriage thinking, “Well, if this doesn’t work out then I will just…” we might as well say that the marriage isn’t going to work out. People need to stop planning for divorce even before the ceremony takes place. When vows are taken, those aren’t words that should be taken lightly. They are a promise, covenant and commitment before a holy and awesome God that should be prayed through and thoroughly thought through.

Unrealistic Expectations: I know people that once thought, “When I get married, then I will be happy!” But they’re still not happy! Too many couples enter into marriage thinking that somehow the other person is going to fill a void that only Jesus can fill. Your spouse is not going to make you happy, if you aren’t happy now.

Bad Counsel: it’s sad, but in America there are more people willing buy into what a talk show host (who perhaps has never been married) says about marriage than what the Bible says. Or, instead of seeking godly counsel when the marriage is in trouble they will surround themselves with people who will affirm their dysfunctional ideas rather than call them out. When we refuse to seek what Jesus says on an issue, it’s not going to go well.

Selfishness: whenever a person believes that marriage is all about “getting my needs met,” it’s over. Marriage is not someone else’s service opportunity but rather our opportunity to serve our spouse.

Laziness: couples date before marriage, and stop doing so soon after the ceremony. We’ve all heard the line, marriage takes work. I admit that am pretty guilty of being lazy, giving my best at work and then coming home and expecting Kim to be content with my leftovers. I know she’s not. That is why I believe that I need to be dating after marriage, even more than I dated before the marriage. If a man stops pursuing, and the woman stops responding, I suspect that is a recipe for trouble.

No Communication: many couples will talk about one another rather than to one another. If a couple wants to see success in marriage then they must be willing to have serious, heart to heart conversations, even when you know it’s not going to be easy.

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