Category: Christianity

Unless the Lord Builds the Home

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We had a great time at the pavilion last Saturday, a bit cold and a little damp, but what is a man of steel without a little rust? It would be like having power tools without scratches on them! The saying, “I would rather burn out than rust out” perhaps means we should live life to the fullest, don’t hold back, take a risk, follow through on your good intentions, be the hero to your family that you want to be… The old analysis of “rust” is that men can be old, broken and worn out, and chock-full of inactivity; but the new generation should see Men of Steel (perhaps with a little rust) as being seasoned, weathered, unpolished, rough, steadfast, structurally sound, tested and true.

In regard to the topic from this past weekend, the handout was from the Man in the MIrror ministry, and is found here. My blog article that I mentioned about the Overload Syndrome may be found here, complete with a prescription for dealing with correcting overload in our priorities.

October 25 and November 1

Remember that this Saturday October 25 is Operation Inasmuch, so we will not meet as Men of Steel that morning. All community mission teams will meet in the sanctuary at 8:00 for prayer and marching orders for the day.

On Saturday November 1, since the women’s ministry has two separate events, the dad’s (and you single guys are welcome, too) are going to meet at 9:30 for a father/son or dad/daughter fun outing. Suggestions have been bowling at the Hilltop Pinboys or the mini-golf, driving range and batting cage on Holland Road (to be determined later). If you have small children, come on anyway, as a group we can make this work for all of us!

A devotional thought for this week – Psalm 127:1-5 Here’s what I see…

  1. Ps 127:1 tells me that men will often do a lot of work and put great effort into building their homes… not the house, but your home, your marriage and children. It is good to try and build your homes, but this verse reminds us that if God is left out of the picture the effort is futile or in vain. A family without God can never experience the God-designed spiritual bond that He intends for relationships. Don’t make the mistake of leaving God out of your life, or your daily activity. If we make God the foundation of our home, which is our highest priority, we allow Him to build the home as He knows best.
  2. Ps 127:2 reminds me that working hard is not the sin here, but rather working too much (sunup to sundown). It’s like neglecting the most important people in our lives, which is senseless. Take time to rest at home with your loved ones.
  3. Ps 127:3-5 mentions children being a gift and a reward from the Lord, and men are blessed to have many children. Today, many people see kids as liabilities, a distraction or a nuisance, keeping us form what we really want to do, or they are financially way too expensive (growing out of clothing too fast, going off to college, healthcare, etc.). But we learn valuable lessons from our kids, too. Simple questions from kids can help us rediscover new things in fresh ways. After being a believer for 12 years, I didn’t really understand the love that my heavenly Father has for me until I became a father myself. The emotion can be overwhelming, I know how much I love Stephen and Bethany, and that doesn’t even come close to how much God loves me!
  4. The quiver is full of them? A quiver of arrows was generally five! Times have certainly changed. I read that the average American family has around two children, but the truth is the same, that children are precious and a gift. Arrows in the warrior’s hand may mean that our children will stand with us when times in the hood get tough; we survive adversity because God builds a strong home, having family who stand with us! Our kids are a reward, much like the promise given to Abraham, that he would be a great nation and his offspring would be like the sand of the earth or the stars of the sky, (Genesis 15:5 and Genesis 13:15).

John Maxwell on Leadership (Psalm 127):

  1. People cannot provide permanent security for the leader.
  2. Leaders should never put their emotional health into the hands of someone else.
  3. Spiritual and emotional health requires the truth.
  4. Leaders must remember that hurting people naturally hurt people.
  5. Trouble arises when leaders depend upon people to do what only God can do.

Consider passing this note to friends that you would like to join the Men of Steel. This is a word-of-mouth ministry!

How to Spot Overload in Your Life

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In America, we are way too busy… work, school, after school classes, scouts, baseball, cheerleading, swim practice, ballet, piano lessons, and the list goes on. We tend to over stimulate our kids and wonder why a peaceful evening at home with the family never happens.

I found this in a recent HomeLife magazine: Since faith moves us toward action, basically to love like Christ, we volunteer in church, the community and other charitable organizations. But we often find ourselves taking on too much. We fear that saying no will lead to guilt and obligation. But there are times that we need to take time out.

  1. When we are spending less time with the Father – the nature of relationships is that we spend time with those most important to us. Concerning God, how much time do we give to Him in Bible study, prayer, reflection, worship? If you’re crowding out that time, you’re too busy.
  2. When you’re neglecting your family and loved ones – it seems counter-productive, but it is possible to allow your work and service activities to take you away from those closest to you, which is not a place you want to be.
  3. When you’re physically, mentally and emotionally drained – realistically, how much good are you to others if you are exhausted? Not much. Remember that we are designed for rest and downtime, remember the 4th commandment? It’s not a bad thing, it’s a must.
  4. When your joy is gone – if you find yourself feeling no joy and satisfaction in the works of your faith or your daily life, you may be suffering from overload.

Dr. Richard Swenson, M.D. wrote a neat little book called, The Overload Syndrome, where he challenges readers to live within their limits. Chapter four hits this “activity and commitment” issue right on the head. Here’s the doctor’s Rx:

  1. Reestablish control on your life and schedule – be active and intentional in this correction, avoiding self-pity.
  2. Prioritize activities and commitments – start with priorities from God’s Word, look through God’s eyes and then act on what is seen, seek first His kingdom and the rest will follow, and remember that people are always more important than things.
  3. Practice saying NO to good things – it’s easy to say no to bad things, but the goal is control on your life. But it is never an excuse for laziness or non-involvement.
  4. Consider doing less, not more – make sure to do the right things, not just more things.
  5. Periodically prune your activities.
  6. Limit your long-term commitments.
  7. Work to establish and maintain balance.
  8. Guard the dinner hour.
  9. Restore the practice of Sabbath rest.

Not a bad prescription to bring the margin and balance back into your life.

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Seven Ways to Help Your Teen in School

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Today I read an article by Will Snipes that I wanted to pass along:

 

The middle school and high school years represent some of the most challenging years for a teen. Not only are academics in play, but all the other areas of teen development. These seven tips can help you stay connected to your teen both academically and socially.  

  1. Spend intentional time together. This could be as simple as turning off the radio in favor of some conversation in the car or making sure family meals still happen. Either way, try to ask questions without prying. Creating intentional moments to connect will pay off in truly understanding your teen.
  2. Check assignments. Although middle school creates a growing sense of independence, students still need accountability. Look through notebooks and ask questions about directions and due dates. Do your homework by signing papers and returning parental correspondence on time.
  3. Encourage organization. Teens juggle multiple classes, assignments, and a multitude of paperwork. If you have a disorganized teen, help them get organized by purchasing an organization system to fit his needs. Help them learn which papers need to be saved and which can be discarded. 
  4. Know your teen’s friends. Transition years bring new friends into the mix. Take the time to get to know these new friends and their families. Invite them over and always make your home a place where kids can feel comfortable hanging out. Look for opportunities to minister to new friends and new families.
  5. Get involved at school. There is a big drop-off in parent involvement from elementary school to middle school and especially at the high school level. Suddenly, it’s no longer quite so “cool” to have your mom or dad around. At the same time, parents need to be a visible presence, so find a way to volunteer. Get to know your teen’s teachers. Let them know that you want to be informed and involved.
  6. Increase responsibility. Teens are certainly busy with school and extra-curricular activities, but they need to also help out at home. By giving your teen responsibilities at home, you will help grow a stronger sense of independence. Give your teen some options and then stress “working together toward a goal as a family” when it comes to completing duties or tasks.
  7. Promote student involvement. Encourage your teen to stay involved in church activities and to try to get involved with a sport or hobby. Help them find a healthy place to connect with peers and adults who can push them in the right direction.  

–Will Snipes spends his summer speaking at various youth camps and events. He then returns each fall to his full-time job as a middle school teacher and coach in Traveler’s Rest, South Carolina.

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Marriage Glue: Ways to Stick Together

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There is a lot of good stuff in the August HomeLife magazine, especially on nurturing our marriages.

 

·     Keep dreaming together: When you share your hopes and dreams with your spouse, and when you dream about your future together, you are solidifying your commitment to each other.

·     Express your commitment in words: Write out your covenant to each other, frame it, and display it in a place where each of you will see it often.

·     Learn new things about your spouse: You are both works in progress, and God will continue to refine you. Continually study your spouse and learn about his or her interests, feelings and gifts.

·     Pray with and for your spouse: The Bible tells us that a cord of three strands in not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). When you are both focused on God and each other, your marriage will be strong enough to face the storms of life.   

 

“Genuine love is honor put into action regardless of the cost.” – Gary Smalley, Love is a Decision.

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Ten Ways to Seal Your Marriage

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Marriage is a pretty important institution, ordained and blessed by God in the very beginning. But life is hard and many marriages and families fall apart. How can the church address the issue of making stronger families? By making stronger marriages! With the movie recent release of Fireproof, I thought that we all could use a little encouragement on developing our marriages! 

 

1.  Make Christ the center of your lives (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

2.  Remain sexually and emotionally faithful (1 Corinthians 7:2-5)

3.  Keep no secrets from your spouse (1 Corinthians 13:6)

4.  Love and respect your spouse (Ephesians 5:33)

5.  Pray for your marriage (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

6.  Be kind and forgive (Ephesians 4:32)

7.  Follow God’s instructions for money management (1 Timothy 6:10)

8.  Don’t go to bed angry (Ephesians 4:26-27)

9.  Honor each other’s parents (Exodus 20:12)

10.  Always strive to make your marriage better (Philippians 3:12)  

 

All sound biblical guidance, right? But will we commit to it. How can we make our marriages better… starting this week? Have you taken the Love Dare? This list was taken from HomeLife magazine.

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Sarah Palin and Women in Leadership

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Texas pastor Voddie Baucham participated in a CNN interview with Margaret Feinberg. Is he serious about female leadership in the community? Notice, it’s not just spiritual leadership within the church, but for a woman to be in leadership at all.

So, the woman’s place is in the home (Titus 2:4-5)? And one could assume a woman should keep her head covered, at least keep her hair long (1 Corinthians 11:6) but not braided, nor should she adorn herself with gold or pearls (1 Timothy 2:9)! Do the women of his congregation take the Bible that literally? For fear of sounding liberal, I have a problem with his interpretation. 

For one, if Sarah Palin is going to lead spiritually, Voddie Baucham might have a point, but since she has the potential to lead politically, I don’t get it.

Secondly, if women can’t lead in the church based solely upon their gender, those who agree with that position must logically take women out of all leadership positions, like even with children and youth. If women are not to have authority over “a man” (singular in 1 Timothy 2:12, like a husband, not necessarily over the community at large) support for male-only senior pastors might be legitimate. If they are not to have authority over a man because Eve was deceived first (like women may be more prone to heresy) why would we allow women to be in charge of our smallest and most vulnerable community members who can’t discern truth from error?

Third, it seems to me that Rev. Baucham should not have women in any leadership positions in his church. I’m thinking that is not the case. I would argue that his position applied politically might mean we remove women from most any community leadership… military, police, judges, the PTA, high school teachers, college professors. I tend to see God gifting all of His children with abilities to be used in His service. Heaven forbid that women would use the excuse of gender for not “stepping out of the boat” to do what they sense God calling them to do.

I cannot tell my daughter that although God has given her certain gifts of leadership and a passion to make a difference in the world, but she cannot do certain tasks because she did not get the right private parts.

Jesus and Peter on Loving, Caring and Feeding

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In the last chapter of the Gospel of John, Jesus instructed Peter to care for the dearest object of His love—His sheep. Three times Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love Me?” and three times Peter answered, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” Jesus then instructed him to, “Feed My lambs, take care of my sheep, and feed my sheep.”

Was Jesus unaware of Peter’s love? Of course not. His threefold question was not for Himself, but for Peter. He asked His questions to underscore the essential truth that only love for Christ would sustain Peter in the work that lay ahead—that difficult and demanding work of caring for people’s souls—perhaps the hardest work of all.

I am fascinated by the fact that Jesus did not ask Peter if he loved His sheep, but if he loved Him. Love for God’s people in itself will not sustain us. His sheep can be unresponsive, unappreciative, and harshly critical of our efforts to love and to serve them. In the end, we will find ourselves defeated and discouraged.

Paul tells us that the “love of Christ controls us”—our love for Him—which is the only sufficient motivation that will enable us to remain faithful in our task, to continue to care for and feed the flock of God.

Our task as leaders in Sunday School and Discipleship Ministry is to primarily be a shepherd of people, not just a teacher of lessons. Everything the pastor is to the congregation, teachers are to their students! Shepherds lead, feed and protect their sheep. Wow, that is so much more that just preparing a lesson each week!

Dedicated volunteers are the backbone of the discipleship strategy of our church; without whom the Great Commission would be stalled in this place. Thank you for the many who have faithfully served our Lord and fed His sheep through the years, and for the many more who have stepped up to feed His lambs (preschoolers and children), feed His sheep (students and adults) and take care of His sheep (leading, feeding and protecting the people entrusted to us).

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College Students and Church

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Virginia Tech is having freshman orientation this week and I have a friend’s son headed off to Tech this fall. It got me thinking about my own college days and the things that became important. While social networking is much different today, students will still seek out various organizations like fraternities or clubs on campus.

As a Christian student I became involved in Baptist Student Union, an organization that meets many needs of students away at college (fellowship, belonging, spiritual growth, community service, missionary efforts). A lot of students chose to make the BSU their church, choosing instead to sleep in on Sundays, but they missed out on many of the blessings they could have received by participating in a local church.

Besides the church being the only institution on earth that Jesus promised to build and to bless, here are a few great benefits of students getting out of the college bubble and participating in a local church:

  1. Steady spiritual growth
  2. Hear messages from God’s Word
  3. Exposure to older, wiser believers
  4. Exposure to career role models
  5. Exposure to marriage role models
  6. Exposure to parenting role models
  7. Opportunities for service using your spiritual gifts
  8. A chance to impact younger kids
  9. Participation in church ordinances
  10. Intergenerational worship and fellowship
  11. Doctrinal and moral accountability
  12. A safety net when times get tough
  13. A home/family away from your home/family
  14. Possible free meals from people who recognize you as a member of the family!

“The age-old question about joining a local church always comes up, “Why join the church if I know I’ll be gone during the summer and graduating in four years?” Membership has its privileges! When you are a part of the body of believers, it shows your commitment to the local church, and it allows the local church to be committed to you. If not membership, consider what is called “Watch Care.” It usually has all the benefits of membership without being allowed to vote in meetings! It still says that you are committing yourself, your gifts and your abilities into this particular congregation.

“The church is not a department store where you come and get the spiritual commodity you want, then go your way. To speak of loving Christ, while neglecting his body, the church, is hypocritical” – Donald Whitney

Remember that in your new freedom from your parents’ control, do the right thing and CHOOSE CHURCH!

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Teachers vs Shepherds

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I recently discovered a way to tell the difference between a teacher and a shepherd in Sunday School: ask the question, “What are you teaching right now in your church?”

The one who says they are teaching a five-week class on First John is the teacher; the one who says they are teaching middle school boys is the shepherd! I got this question from David Francis’ work on spiritual gifts. I found this to be a very provocative observation.

So often we believe that we are teaching lessons from the Bible when in reality we are teaching people the Bible! Here are other observations regarding shepherding:

  1. Shepherds know their sheep – The best teachers are those who take into account those whom they are teaching, we must know about life stages, gender differences, how to communicate, how this group learns, etc.
  2. Shepherds know their flock – They keep up with details about individuals in the class, maybe using a notebook to keep up with birthdays, anniversaries, hobbies, etc.
  3. Shepherds don’t wait for Sunday – Plenty of ministry opportunities await the shepherd when they are involved in the lives of their sheep during the week.
  4. Shepherds use a staff – They organize the class into smaller groups to help distribute the task of keeping up with the flock.

The key for me is that we teach people, we don’t teach lessons!

Everybody Has Six Basic Spiritual Needs

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I recently read about George Gallup, who years ago delivered a speech at Princeton Theological Seminary where he shared six basic spiritual needs of all people. This is from the famous survey and research guy…

1. The need to believe that life is meaningful and has purpose – The success of Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose-Driven Life may be evidence that people really are searching for meaning and purpose in life.

2. The need for a sense of a deeper community and deeper relationship – The church is not a building but a community of like-minded people, uniting in the common bond in Christ. Look at the development of sports clubs and civic leagues that often will compete with the church for members’ time and loyalties.

3. The need to be appreciated and respected – Jesus broke the mold with His stance on women and the outcasts of society. God is no respecter of persons and each person is created in the image of God and deserving of dignity and respect. There is no joy in life if we do not feel appreciated at home, work, school or in the church.

4. The need to be listened to and heard – In this communication age where blogging is so prevalent, this may be more true than ever. “Can you hear me now?” No one wants to be voiceless!

5. The need to feel that one is growing in faith – All living things grow. The lack of growth means the living thing is either not a living thing or it has died! If we are alive in Christ, made into a new creation, how can we not continue to grow in our faith? I’m not saying it’s easy, but the Christian life takes effort to develop our relationship with God. How many so-called Christians have settled for the status quo of a mediocre life?

6. The need for practical help in developing a mature faith – That is why the community of faith is so important in the Christian life. Without community, we are left to die cold and alone! It’s like a bonfire where a log has rolled away from the flames. The only way for that smoldering log to be re-ignited is to throw it back on the pile. The body of believers (called the church) is this fire of community that offers practical help from the Bible for developing one’s faith.