Many victims have experienced an emotional block, but the Bible offers this promise to all who have suffered such a heartbreaking travesty: “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
Key Verse to Memorize: “Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.” (Isaiah 12:2)
Key Passage to Read and Reread: Psalm 55
Key Prayers for Developing Trust (Psalm 55)
- God, I appeal to You. Psalm 55:1
- I am troubled and distraught. Psalm 55:2
- I suffer at the voice and the stares of my abuser. Psalm 55:3
- My heart is in anguish, and I am terrified. Psalm 55:4
- Fear and horror have overwhelmed me. Psalm 55:5
- How I long to escape far from the tempest and storm! Psalm 55:6-8
- I see the violence and strife. Psalm 55:9
- I know the malice and abuse. Psalm 55:10
- I hear the threats and lies. Psalm 55:11
- I feel absolutely betrayed. Psalm 55:12-14
- Deal with my betrayer as his evil demands. Psalm 55:15
- I call upon You, and You save me. Psalm 55:16
- I am distressed, and You hear me. Psalm 55:17
- I am opposed, and You ransom me. Psalm 55:18
- You know all about my abuser and will punish him. Psalm 55:19
- My betrayer attacks those close to him. Psalm 55:20
- He is a smooth talker whose words can’t be trusted. Psalm 55:21
- I cast my cares on You, Lord, for You will sustain me. Psalm 55:22
- You won’t let me fall. Psalm 55:22
- You will bring judgment upon my betrayer. Psalm 55:23
- I choose to put my trust in You! Psalm 55:23
Do’s and Don’ts of Awareness
Don’t be like an ostrich, hiding your head in the sands of denial. Although it is terribly hard to do, facing the truth that child abuse is taking place is the first step to healing.
“When justice is done, it brings joy to the righteous but terror to evildoers.” (Proverbs 21:15)
Do This
- Be aware … child abuse is illegal, a crime, and must be reported.
- Be aware … children are usually abused by people they know.
- Be aware … children seldom lie about abuse.
- Be aware … most often, physical abuse is violent, but sexual abuse may not be.
- Be aware … children may deny or change their stories because of fear.
- Be aware … sexual abuse is progressive and will get worse, if not stopped.
Don’t do This
- Be in denial, no matter how difficult it is to believe.
- Assume that if it happened only once, it is not serious.
- Minimize the abuse.
- Let the offender go without confrontation.
- Blame other family members.
- Keep abuse a “family secret.”
- What Do You Do?
If You Suspect Child Abuse …
- Seek the help of a professional who is trained to work with children.
- To verify or to relieve your suspicions
- Contact a child advocacy program to discuss your concerns privately.
- Consider having someone there do an evaluation of the child and make recommendations as to a course of action.
- To further inform yourself (not in the presence of the child)
- Contact Child Protective Services.
- Contact a Family Attorney.
- Contact a shelter for women and children.
- Contact a pastor or spiritual leader.
- Contact the local police or a law enforcement agency.
- Contact the local District Attorney’s office.
“A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength; for waging war you need guidance, and for victory many advisers.” (Proverbs 24:5–6)
If a Child Discloses Abuse …
- Stay calm.
- Take time to sensitively answer any questions from the child.
- Be available to the child at all times.
- Remain with the child—leave the child only with another adult whom you and the child trust.
- Respect the privacy of the child from those who have no need to know.
- Make no promises you can’t keep—such as, “Your mom won’t be angry” or “He won’t get into trouble.”
- Explain that the law enforcement agencies must be informed and what will happen next.
- Be prepared to provide protection, arrange for a medical exam and obtain professional counseling.
“We urge you … encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14)
If You See Questionable Marks on a Child’s Body …
- Take the child to a pediatrician or the local hospital emergency room for immediate examination and documentation.
- Relate why you suspect possible child abuse, and state that a child abuse case should be turned over to a caseworker.
- Ask for a copy of the medical report in writing and for copies of photographs if they are taken. (An attorney can subpoena them.)
- Keep a paper trail of all contacts you make: calls, reports and photographs.
- If a caseworker’s file disappears, supply duplicates of your copies of photographs and reports.
- Follow up with caseworkers on a regular basis, asking about the status of the case and how you can be of assistance.
- If the local services are not responsive, keep appealing to higher authorities by contacting a state agency or federal agency.
“Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men … who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right.” (1 Peter 2:13–14)
Surface the Secret
Victims of childhood sexual abuse are in bondage to “the secret.” Revealing the truth is the only strategy for breaking the power of the secret. To open the hearts of victims, give them loving care and compassion that springs from the Spirit of God.
- Pray for supernatural wisdom from God.
- Provide a safe atmosphere.
- Ask if the child is experiencing something uncomfortable or confusing.
- Listen, reflect and observe carefully.
- Be cautious about asking “leading questions.” Let the authorities ask most of the questions to determine the truth.
- Communicate that you believe the child.
- Acknowledge that the offender is wrong.
- Give assurance that the child is not to blame.
- Confirm that “telling” is the right thing to do.
- Provide a safe atmosphere by displaying genuine love and compassion.
“The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.” (Proverbs 20:5)
Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Childhood Sexual Abuse: The Secret Storm. Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.