HeartQuest 101

I found something interesting that the Men of Steel can do over the next 30-day period, the month of April. Click here for the introduction and to get started on Day 1. Click here to show the whole series.

Day Twenty-two: I haven’t reminded you in a while, so here are the basic guidelines you should be following. If you do nothing else during these 30 days, not that I recommend that, commit to not saying anything negative about your wife to her or to anyone else and do say something that you admire or appreciate about your wife to her and/or to someone else about her every day.

Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone. Proverbs 23:5

According to many, the root of most of the arguments in marriage is money. How much you make, how much you spend, how to spend it, who should decide how to spend it, who has spent too much, how can we afford what we want, etc.

By and large, financial decisions fall to the husband. He may not be the one that writes the checks or balances the checkbook, but he is usually the one who makes investment decisions and takes care of long-term financial issues such as life insurance and retirement planning.

Even if you know that your financial future is secure, at least as far as any of us can know, convey that to your wife. A woman looks to her husband for security, and she needs to know that you are aware of the needs for the future, whether they are concerns for house payments, college, or even next week’s groceries.

If your finances are in disarray because of overspending or hard economic times, sit down with your wife and work out a plan together to get back on track. Ask God how you should spend your money and how to get out of debt. Find a Christian man to help you with budgeting if needed.

Make sure that God is in your financial decisions, but don’t neglect your wife. She needs to know that your financial future is as secure as it can be.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

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I found something interesting that the Men of Steel can do over the next 30-day period, the month of April. Click here for the introduction and to get started on Day 1. Click here to show the whole series.

Day Twenty-one:

Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. I Thessalonians 5:11

God’s word makes it clear that we are to encourage one another and build each other up daily. Encouragement keeps us from being hardened by sin’s deceitfulness (Hebrews 3:14) and prepares us for the day of Christ’s return (Hebrews 10:26).

In our modern-day language, the word encourage means to “inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence; to stimulate by assistance or approval.”

As Christians, there is nothing that encourages us more than the promises found in God’s word.

Today’s challenge is to share with your wife a Bible passage or verse that encourages you the most. Tell her why this passage “gives you courage,” keeps you from sin’s deceitfulness, and/or prepares you for the day of His return.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

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I found something interesting that the Men of Steel can do over the next 30-day period, the month of April. Click here for the introduction and to get started on Day 1. Click here to show the whole series.

Day Twenty:

You have stolen by heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes. Song of Songs 4:9

The eye is the window to the soul. A great deal can be conveyed with just your eyes: joy, sadness, hurt, disgust, confusion, love, playfulness, even desire.

A wink is usually meant only for the recipient, no one else. Across the dinner table or in a crowded room, a wink can say, “I’m over here talking to these people, but I’d rather be with you,” or it can convey romantic desire or say, “Honey, I’m glad you’re mine.”

Across a crowded room or at the dinner table, preferably when you might get caught by someone else but trying not to, wink at your wife and watch her reaction. Then, when you are alone together, tell her in words what you were conveying in a wink.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

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I found something interesting that the Men of Steel can do over the next 30-day period, the month of April. Click here for the introduction and to get started on Day 1. Click here to show the whole series.

Day Nineteen:

Simply, let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes.’ Matthew 5:37

Today’s challenge is to say “yes” to your wife more times than you say “no.”

It is easy to get bogged down in the “I don’t want to’s” of life. With so many demands at work, in committees, and even at church, it is easy to think when you get home that “this is my time to do what I want.”

• Has your wife been asking you take a walk or go for a bike ride? Say “yes.”
• Has she been asking you to fix that leaky faucet? Say “yes.”
• Does she want you to go with her to meet the new neighbors? Say “yes.”
• Is she waiting for you to tell her if you will go to the office party next week? Say “yes.”
• Does she want a new car? Well, you’ll have to decide for yourself on that one (and see Day 22).

What simple thing(s) has your wife asked you to do but you have denied her because “it’s my time to do what I want?” .

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

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I found something interesting that the Men of Steel can do over the next 30-day period, the month of April. Click here for the introduction and to get started on Day 1. Click here to show the whole series.

Day Eighteen:

Let the wise listen and add to their learning. Proverbs 1:5

How well do you listen to your wife?

When your wife is talking to you, do you give her your full attention or do you have one ear turned in her direction with your eyes focused on the TV or the computer? While multitasking might be necessary at work, it is seldom a good idea at home – especially when it comes to communicating with your wife.

Your wife has a deep need to connect with you in conversation. She wants to know your thoughts and your needs, and she wants you to know hers. She wants you to listen with an open heart, one that tells her you care and that you want to know her even better than you already do.

Sadly, communication in marriage often disintegrates into conversations that complete strangers might have – the weather, the problems with the car, who needs to get which child to the next event.

Who you are as husband and wife, man and woman, lovers and friends often gets lost in the day-to-day activities of life.

Today’s challenge is to truly listen to your wife. When you are together, do not turn on the TV or the computer, get out of the house together if you must, but give your full attention to your wife and what she has to say.

This might be awkward at first, for both you and your wife, but you stand to learn a great deal about the woman that you chose as your wife. How has she grown since you got married? What dreams does she have for the future? How can you pray for her?

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

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I found something interesting that the Men of Steel can do over the next 30-day period, the month of April. Click here for the introduction and to get started on Day 1. Click here to show the whole series.

Day Seventeen: Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19

Let your conversation be always full of grace. Colossians 4:6

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, how you are doing with the ground rules? While each of the daily challenges is important, it is more important to grasp these ground rules and use them as the basis for your entire marriage, not just these 30 days.

It is these ground rules that will keep a healthy marriage strong or will help to warm the heart of a wife who is teetering on the edge. Long after the 30 days are over, these basic guidelines will keep peace and harmony in a home and in a marriage.

• You can’t say anything negative about your wife . . . to your wife . . . or to anyone else about your wife.
• Say something that you admire or appreciate about your wife . . . to your wife . . . or to someone else about your wife every day.

You’ve worked hard these past 16 days and the end of the 30 days is in sight, but the hope is that these ideas and practices will be written on your heart so that you make your wife the priority that she should be and that a good marriage will be strengthened, a stagnant marriage revived, or a marriage in crises brought back from the brink.

For today’s challenge you get a mulligan – not a stew, a do-over. Choose one of the challenges from the previous 16 days and do it again. You might choose one that gave particular encouragement to your wife or one that you don’t feel was given your best effort. The choice is up to you, but don’t let the day pass by without doing something to encourage your wife and put a smile on her face.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

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I found something interesting that the Men of Steel can do over the next 30-day period, the month of April. Click here for the introduction and to get started on Day 1. Click here to show the whole series.

Day Sixteen: And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

There are many, many pressures on a husband to live up to the standards of this world. The company wants you to work 60 hours or more a week, while your wife and kids want you to spend as much time with them as you can.

While it is true that men often gain self-worth from their work, and God has created them this way, consider whether the hours spent at the office go beyond the basic needs that you and your family have financially.

You may think that you are working long hours to provide for your family, but do you have more than enough already and are working only to have more and more to keep up with the Joneses?

Sit down with your wife and kids and ask them how you can better spend your time with them. Take time to have fun with your wife and kids, not just working to provide more and more in a household that already has enough.

Let God be the supplier of your needs. Your wife and family do need the financial security that you provide, but not if they have to sacrifice your presence with them.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

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I found something interesting that the Men of Steel can do over the next 30-day period, the month of April. Click here for the introduction and to get started on Day 1. Click here to show the whole series.

Day Fifteen: Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. Song of Songs 4:16

If you have been married for any length of time, you know that men and women often view sex in vastly different ways. For a woman, physical intimacy often requires much planning, preparation, and time. She might need flowers, a back rub, and a restful attitude before “feeling ready.” All of the events of the day might need to be resolved and put to bed (no pun intended) before she can give in to her sexual desires.

For a man, all that is required is “to show up naked and bring food.”

Even though you know that spontaneity is more difficult for your wife than it is for you, it is sometimes difficult not to be hurt by her seeming lack of interest.

If waiting until bedtime to spring the idea of making love on your wife isn’t working, let her know your intentions early in the day. Ask her what you can do to help set the mood for the evening.

Are you willing to watch the kids while she takes a bath and unwinds? Do the dishes need to be washed and put away before your wife can call it a night? Sometimes a woman is just too tired from all she has to do to think about making love, even though she may want to.

Remember that differences in sexual desire were created by God, and learn how you can work with these differences instead of railing against them in your marriage.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

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I found something interesting that the Men of Steel can do over the next 30-day period, the month of April. Click here for the introduction and to get started on Day 1. Click here to show the whole series.

Day Fourteen: How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights. Song of Songs 7:6

Too often we get caught up in the routine of marriage and forget to notice the beauty that is before our eyes. Look at your wife with fresh eyes. See how she has changed since you first met. How has the life that you share made her even more beautiful to you? What is it that attracts you to her? What do you love about her body?

The Lover in the Song of Songs did not spare many details when he wrote of the beauty of his Beloved. From the tips of her toes to the fragrance of her breath, he spared no detail in describing how he saw her body (Song of Songs 7:1-9).

Is your wife self-conscious about her body? Does she feel beautiful? Does she feel that she is beautiful to you?

Tell your wife today what makes her beautiful to you. Spare no detail – right down to the blush of her cheeks when she hears these words.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

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I found something interesting that the Men of Steel can do over the next 30-day period, the month of April. Click here for the introduction and to get started on Day 1. Click here to show the whole series.

Day Thirteen: They should always pray and not give up. Luke 18:1

There is special joy in a woman’s heart when she hears her husband pray for her.

Do you pray for your wife regularly? Do you pray with your wife regularly? Is she struggling with something she doesn’t know how to handle? Are pressures at work getting to her? Does she take care of you and the kids along with her parents or your parents?

What joys has she celebrated recently? What answers to prayer has she seen?

Today, pray with your wife and say a special prayer for her – for her struggles as well as her joys. Let her hear you thank the Father for her presence in your life.

* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com

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