HeartQuest 101

Forgiveness is something that is at the heart of the Christian experience. If it were not for the forgiveness of sin that God offers through the sacrifice of his one and only Son, I’m not all that sure people would be lining up to become followers of Christ. There is a deep need inside every man to be forgiven for the wrong he has done — to others, to himself and ultimately to God.

I find people from my childhood and youth and the first thing in my heart is, “I’m sorry.” I remember who I was back then and the things I have done. I’ve changed, and express how sorry I am for my former actions and words. The experience brings peace. If we desire authentic and lasting peace, it comes only through a right relationship with God and others.

Paul writes to the Ephesians that Christ himself is our peace; He has broken down every wall that divides and separates (Ephesians 2:14). Think about how the lack of forgiveness divides and separates, and the end result is a lack of peace in our hearts and lives. Forgiveness does not condone what the other person has done to us, but it allows us to get past it and start fresh. When we are the one who messed up, and others look on in judgment, it is their responsibility to search deep within to find the compassion of God to forgive and allow the relationship to be renewed.

Job lost everything and suffered greatly; he’s the classic example of a man who suffered greatly for no other reason than he was a faithful servant of the living God. His so-called friends came by and proceeded to discuss the theology of why this evil was happening to Job. He must be a great sinner, more than anyone else, for such bad stuff to be happening to him (Job 4:8 for example). What a statement of judgment and condemnation. Job is getting what he deserves. So, if anyone had a reason to hold a grudge, it was Job. He could have held a grudge against his friends for the way they treated him, and even a grudge against God for treating him the way he did. But catch what happens in this verse:

“After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before” (Job 42:10).

Job’s friends did not understand how a godly person could ever go through his degree of suffering unless God was judging him for his sin. But his friends were wrong and God intervened. God says, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.” (Job 42:7).

Not much has really changed after thousands of years. Those in the church often wrongly equate trouble and hardship with sin (what have I done to deserve this?). Sometimes this can be true since actions have consequences, but often trouble is simply a consequence of the fall of mankind, or a call on one’s life (like Joseph in Egypt or Paul’s hardships – 2 Corinthians 11:24-26).

Joseph was required to forgive his brothers. Jesus was required to forgive Judas and the disciples for betrayal. You and I are required to forgive those who wrongfully judge us. This forgiveness is often THE most important step in gaining restoration in our own lives.

Job 42:10 reveals that it was not until Job prayed for his friends that he was restored in the things he had lost. Is there someone in your life you need to forgive? It may be the missing piece of your puzzle for restoration.

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Absalom is dead, David is back in charge, and he needs to make his way back to Jerusalem. Today we need to take a look at forgiveness, starting over, getting back to where you belong, and rewards for faithfulness in 2 Samuel 19.

• When have you felt motivated to ask for someone else’s forgiveness? Or to grant forgiveness?
• Over the past year, have you received more favors or granted more favors?
• In politics and sporting events, do you tend to support:
  • Whoever is ahead at the start?
  • Whoever is behind at the end?
  • Whoever’s victory favors you the most?
  • Whoever wins, that person was your choice all along?

Let’s dig into the text for today:

1. If you had previously backed Absalom, why would you now reconfirm David as king? (2 Samuel 19:8-10) Notice that the king was once more accessible to the people (2 Samuel 19:8)
2. What was the quarreling about? (2 Samuel 19:9, 10) Judah was hesitant about David’s return, perhaps because of the part they played in Absalom’s insurrection (2 Samuel 15:10-11)
3. What is it about David’s appeal (2 Samuel 19:11-13) that secures your vote of confidence? What major change is listed in 2 Samuel 19:13? (David hopes to secure allegiance of those who followed Absalom and Amasa, especially Judah, but also the animosity of Joab for taking his position, 2 Samuel 20:8-10).
4. Why did the men of Judah come to Gilgal? (2 Samuel 19:15)
5. Why do you think Shemei behaves the way he does? 2 Samuel 19:16-20; 16:5-14
6. Compare 2 Samuel 19:21 and 2 Samuel 16: 9. Abishai, Joab’s brother, was looking for a way to kill Shemei for what he did (2 Samuel 16:5-8).
7. Shemei confessed his sin and is spared (2 Samuel 19:16) What eventually happens to him? (1 Kings 2:8, 9, 36-46)
8. How and why does David’s response vary from Abishai’s? (2 Samuel 19:21-23, 16:9-12) What did David mean by his remark in 2 Samuel 19:22?
9. How does Mephibosheth’s story line up with what Ziba’s (2 Samuel 19:24-30, 16:3)
10. Who do you find more credible, Mephibosheth or Ziba? Who does David believe, or does it matter? Name a time when you were totally misunderstood, or misrepresented.
11. Why does David seek to reward Barzillai, to stay with David in Jerusalem? (2 Samuel 19:24-30) Why is that offer refused? (2 Samuel 19:34-37)
12. What face-saving alternative is then proposed and accepted? (2 Samuel 19:38)
13. As Chimham is singled out for a special favor, how would you feel toward your two benefactors? Who was this guy? (1 Kings 2:7, Jeremiah 41:17)
14. Why are the men of Israel so upset? (2 Samuel 19:41-43) What’s at stake besides hurt pride? What is the problem between Israel and Judah? (Israel complained that Judah had kidnapped David from them. This hostility leads to the rebellion of Sheba and eventually the division of the kingdom (1 Kings 12:1-24).

Returning to a former relationship is not always easy. Switching to another side is not easy either. Going home isn’t always fun when infighting awaits you. David is still God’s chosen leader; he’s back in the Promised Land, and doing the right thing is not always the easy thing. Next week we will look at some unfinished business.

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Men, if we don’t confront our frailty and capacity for sin, we will always have a target on our back, just ripe for the enemy to shoot his flaming arrows into and make us fall – Ephesians 6:16. Beware guys; this is another depressing post about being on your guard against the enemy. This is part three of the wrestling match series.

I read a great book years ago called, Ordering Your Private World. Years later the same author wrote another book called, Rebuilding Your Broken World. The basis for the first book was to help Christians order their lives in such a way that they live on purpose and for God. The second book was written after the restoration process the author went through due to a moral failure. He mentions the one thing he could never see himself doing was committing adultery… and that’s what took him down. A prominent pastor and author did not see himself as vulnerable to the enemy’s attack.

We need to admit to ourselves that we are vulnerable. There’s something in every man of steel that acts like kryptonite, which has a sole purpose of bringing each of us down. If you don’t believe that you can commit a certain sin, you remain vulnerable to it. Why? Because if we are so sure we will never do it, we never set up safeguards against it. Without safeguards, you are vulnerable to any sin.

• You never thought you could get that angry.
• You never thought you could get that aggressive.
• You never thought you could have an affair.
• You never thought you could be that weak.
• You never thought you could be addicted to porn.
• You never thought you could be an alcoholic.
• You never thought you could leave your family.
• You never thought you could be that hurtful.

For many men, they never thought they could… so they did. You’ve got to look square in the mirror and say to yourself, “I could commit every sin.” Whatever your problem may be, there’s always a problem behind your problem, and the Bible calls that problem sin.

• What is it that makes a 40 year old married man try to act like he’s 20 and single?
• What makes a man try to drown his trouble in alcohol or illegal drugs?
• Why does a man need to prove himself by doing daredevil stunts?

It’s called our sin nature! This is the part of you that wants to do the bad stuff rather than what is right. When we accept Christ, this old nature is trying to fight back for control in your life. But it is this sin nature that is supposed to be put to death while we are made alive in Christ – Galatians 2:20. If we continue to sin, it shows where our loyalties really lie – 1 John 3:8.

If you’ve messed up… forgiveness is ready for all who submit to Christ, putting their faith in Him and allowing His Spirit to help us to repent of our sin. It’s a conscious effort to repent, which is to turn from sin and turn toward God. Remember that He is ready and able to forgive – 1 John 1:9. Restoration of relationships takes more time, because while we are forgiven for our past sin, the consequence of our sin may remain for a long time.

I’m glad that you are a part of the Men of Steel. It shows a commitment to being the best man that you can be, for God’s sake, for your wife’s sake and your kids’ sake.

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