HeartQuest 101

I recently read about Nancy Kline, author of Time to Think, who has spent more than 20 years coaching companies and individuals to think more effectively and creatively. She has iden­tified 10 key enablers to improve thinking; and I like two in particular:

• Listening with respect and without interruption.
• Looking at all the facts in a situation. 

These two make sense to me… not bad suggestions for getting along with people… like at home, at work, in our marriages. Imagine, listening with respect and without interruption. To me this demonstrates dignity and assigns value to the other person. What they have to say is important, so we should listen carefully and not be thinking about how we should reply! Think of others as more important than yourself.

The other one, looking at all the facts before making a judgment is always a good idea! How often do we fly off the handle before we know all about what the current situation? Then comes the regret, embarrassment and perhaps other consequences with which we must deal.

How about wisdom from an ancient source? God has a great plan that has stood throughout the ages… take a look at Romans 12:2. 

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” 

A NEW WAY OF THINKING

Albert Einstein said insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Yet if we look honestly at our lives, we often live “insanely.”

• We want a better relation­ship with our wives, but we don’t implement the necessary changes to make it happen.
• We want to spend more time with our children, but urgent things at the office keep us tied up.
• We want to eat better and exercise more, yet the drive thru and the couch win out. You get the idea.

The longer we continue to live in the insanity of good intentions, the more likely that we’ll eventually become disillusioned and hopeless. Einstein understood our dilemma and said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” Amen, Albert.

RENEWING YOUR MIND

Our God is a God of newness. He wants us to think creatively and see life in fresh ways. Romans 12:2 says just that! Despite the fact that we’re constantly thinking, most of us tend not to think much about the qual­ity of our thoughts. Paul tells us on what we ought to think, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” (Phil 4:8).

God gave us amazing minds that can solve problems, dream big dreams, and seek His will if we will but use them! If you feel like you’re stuck in a cycle of insanity, give your­self permission to think differently. Break out of the insanity of “conformed” thinking.

SO NOW WHAT?

Identify an area of your life that conforms too closely to the patterns of this world. How can you change it? Develop an action plan to change your thinking. The old saying is still true, “Garbage in, garbage out.” Works with computers, works with the human mind. There is a lot of stuff out there that will inhibit our progress toward our goal (or becoming better fathers, husbands, bosses or employees).

One does not have to join a monastery to gain the mind of Christ, but we do have to take ourselves off the throne of our lives and allow our sovereign Boss to guide us throughout life. How does that happen? By simply getting into His Word and letting it permeate our lives! Thoughts will modify attitudes, attitudes will modify behavior, and behavior will demonstrate what we consider to be our life’s priorities. 

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I recently ran across this story:

In a somewhat recent story in the L.A. Times, legendary coach John Wooden gave a different take on his famous saying, “Be quick but don’t hurry.” During UCLA’s game against Kansas, Wooden noticed Kansas was sometimes out of control and hurried too much. “I call that activity without achievement;’ said Wooden. (Source)

GETTING NOWHERE QUICKLY

Continuing the basketball theme, a basketball team that continues to aimlessly throw the ball around the perimeter of the defense without ever looking to attack will soon discover that the shot clock is quickly winding down and they’ve got to launch something up or they’ll turn the ball over with a shot clock violation. That kind of offense is, as Coach Wooden put it, “activity without achievement.” Too many unproductive trips down the court like that and they’ve got no shot at winning the game.

We sometimes do the same thing in life. We busy ourselves with a flurry of activity but seldom question whether our activity is achieving anything significant. We figure that as long as we’re doing stuff, good things must be happening. That’s not necessarily the case. Honestly, one of the hardest things to do in life is think clearly and well. It’s so much easier to avoid tough questions and just mindlessly go with the flow.

GETTING SOMEWHERE RIGHT ON TIME

The key to personal effectiveness, to achieving anything worthwhile, is to trust the Lord for a game plan and for the ability to execute it. We can accomplish more in an hour with His help than we can in a week without it. Or, as Psalm 127:1 puts it: “Unless the LORD builds a house, its builders labor over it in vain.” So go ahead and work hard. But be smart about it.

QUESTIONS FOR THE MEN OF STEEL TO CONSIDER

1.   Have you ever been called a work-a-holic? Why?

2.   What does Solomon renounce in Ps 127:1? How do those who rely upon their own efforts see their work? (127:2)

3.   Is the beginning of this psalm tied to the end? What is said about large families? What happens at the gate?

4.   Is God building your business? Family? Support systems? Or are you?

5.   Jewish society promoted big families. Are the obsolete today? Does society help or hurt family unity?

BOTTOM LINE

Are there areas of your life where you feel like you’re laboring in vain? Ask yourself if you’re trusting the Lord in these areas. 

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Cal Thomas wrote a provocative piece last week about redirecting the religious right away from failed political solutions toward Christians putting their efforts into the greater power of God’s kingdom, basically living out their faith.  

Too many conservative Evangelicals have put too much faith in the power of government to transform culture. The futility inherent in such misplaced faith can be demonstrated by asking these activists a simple question: Does the secular left, when it holds power, persuade conservatives to live by their standards? Of course they do not. Why, then, would conservative Evangelicals expect people who do not share their worldview and view of God to accept their beliefs when they control government?

He Continues:

Suppose they (Christians) followed the admonition of Jesus to “love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit those in prison and care for widows and orphans,” not as ends, as so many liberals do by using government, but as a means of demonstrating God’s love for the whole person in order that people might seek Him?

While I see Christians on both sides of the “isle,” I have emphasized the notion of voting according to worldview much more than being partisan or jumping on a certain band wagon of celebrity endorsements. Each party’s platforms say a lot about worldview.

Case in point: voting by values is not a left or right decision. Which values have higher priority? Both parties can be labeled pro life, because one party holds a value of life in protecting unborn children in the womb, while another party values life through the ending of war. Some hold the value of “peace not war” higher than the value of “life over choice.” Its worldview, no one is going to change their views, so why argue about it? Just agree to disagree. Cal Thomas says we have failed to persuade anyone, so let’s do something else!

I have often wondered if a committed Christian can even be an effective president. Why? How can you live out “love your enemies” or “turn the other cheek” and still be able to lead as Commander in Chief of the military? We might talk about “just war,” but Bonheoffer said it best, “when Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” Perhaps out of context, but the point is valid, we should give up our rights, look out for the interests of others more than ourselves… our model is Jesus who went to the cross, and Christians through the ages who have died for their faith (after all, the blood of the martyrs was the seed of the church).

Trusting in a political solution is to settle for a lesser power, which is really no power at all. Mr. Obama is not the savior and the democratic platform is not divine Scripture. The power of God transforms lives, and the only way we can transform our society is to live out what we say we believe before a watching world. 

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Here’s a straight forward bulleted list of ways to strengthen your marriage: 

• Communication: Men are so good at communication in other areas of their lives, like at work and during leisure activities, but for some reason we fail to connect with our spouse. Listen to her and let her know how much she means to you.
• Partnership: Find ways to include your spouse in community and ministry activities. Help raise the children and take responsibility for the spiritual development of the family, too.
• Affirmation: Praise your spouse often and in public! She needs to know how proud you are of her, and how much you need her in your life.
• Stress Reduction: Learn to take care of yourself, refuse to run on empty. Men, you are not invincible! Share some relaxing activities or take a walk together.
• Boundaries: Our busyness can bring about a moral failure; we need boundaries to be emotionally healthy, physically rested and spiritually nourished. It’s hard to resist temptation when we are drained. Learn to set priorities, keeping the important things close to your heart.
• Practical Expression: Plan time together, thank her for her support of you, and give her the gift of uninterrupted listening, talk about personal goals and dreams. Remember the reason you married her in the first place!

–General outline is from Frank Lewis, FBC Nashville, TN 

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In his book, Wild at Heart, John Eldridge tells us that since men are made in the image of God, they understand their own natures by looking at how God has expressed His own nature. He mentions three expressions: a warrior, a lover and an adventurer. As a warrior, God battled satan for the souls of men. As a lover, Jesus gave himself for his bride, the church. As an adventurer, God created humanity and risked everything by giving us freedom to reject him. So, the author contends that men are looking for a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue, and an adventure to live.

In the series, Quest for Authentic Manhood, Robert Lewis teaches that men need to look at the example of Jesus’ masculinity as their test for true north. We either live in the shadow of the first Adam (mere existence) or the second Adam (a life-giving spirit) (see 1 Cor 15:45-49, Rom 5:17-19). The shadow a man chooses determines the kind of man and father he will become.

Why is Men’s Ministry so important? Because so much is at stake! Men are in a battle for their souls, their marriages, their families, and you see that society is ultimately affected. Let’s change America together; leaving “No Man Left Behind.” 

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I think it is important to help children see the manhood of Jesus, but I’m afraid we don’t get a lot of help in this regard. I imagine that in the typical church, listening to sermons and Bible studies one hears only the softer side of Christ presented. As a matter of fact, a friend of mine who is in full time men’s ministry recently asked participants in two seminars to list characteristics of Christ. In both the women’s seminar and the men’s seminar, the descriptors were words like loving, forgiving, kind, compassionate, gentle. These are but a few words that are not very compelling to men.

I agree Jesus was all of these things; the most incredible example of each of these characteristics, but there’s more. He was also the most worthwhile example of courage, tenacity, service, assertiveness, righteousness, leadership, determination and godliness. These are characteristics that are more likely to get a man’s attention. Think about it, do we hear about these things often enough in sermons or in our Bible studies?

As an example, my friend Mike, from Noble Warriors, shared this story:

A couple of years ago I was asked to fill in as a substitute coach for my son’s Upward team. At the end of the game, I got to celebrate the kid’s efforts by giving out stars. After each game, stars are given to kids to recognize; Best Offense, Best Defense, Best Effort, Best Sportsmanship and Most Christlike.

 

There were eight kids on the team, four boys and four girls. This was week five in the season. I looked at the recognition chart and realized that all four girls had been awarded Most Christlike stars, one each week for the previous four weeks. Not a single boy had been awarded a Most Christlike star. Wow! I think that we have all been programmed to think about how nice Christ was and it’s probably easier for most of us to see someone being nice on the soccer field and recognize that child as Christlike.

 

I made a quick decision and gathered the parents around for the recognition time. I gave out the other stars then proceeded to explain that I like to observe characteristics of Christ that others may not think of very often. When I read the gospels, I see that Christ was tenacious, focused on the goal, determined, assertive, and that he was fully obedient to his Father’s will. I gave Most Christlike stars to two little boys who were tenacious, focused, determined, confident, assertive and obedient and made a big deal of how these two had followed Christ’s example of manhood.

I think we’d have more men following Jesus if we did a better job of helping men understand His incredible example of masculinity. I want to challenge you to keep this in mind as you read about Jesus in the gospels. Every time you read your Bible this week, look for passages where you recognize Jesus as an example of manhood. This simple challenge could open your eyes to some characteristics of Christ that you hadn’t noticed previously… and help you understand your own manhood.

The King’s Grant Men of Steel are meeting at the pavilion this Saturday, November 8 @ 7:30 to discuss this issue! 

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