The Ministry of Nurture

The Ministry of Nurture: How to Build Real-Life Faith into Your Kids (Duffy Robbins) explores three key areas of the Christian life: outreach, nurture and service. This is a sensitive, in-depth and practical resource for building real-life discipleship into students.

1. Defining the Target

The goal of student ministry is to help teenagers grow spiritually. The church is littered with programs, sermons, Bible studies and projects that once seemed wonderful ideas, but were never motivated and fueled by a sense of target. Fifty percent of teenagers describe themselves and Christians, but two years from now 70% of those will have graduated from high school, graduated from the youth program and graduated from God. Most will never come back.

A working definition of adolescent spirituality.

• Christ-centered
• Experienced in the context of community
• Future-oriented
• Is developmental

Four key passages of Scripture.

• We will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ (Eph 4:15b). They must grow in their day-to-day relationship with Jesus. We often develop more commitment to the youth group than we do commitment to Christ. In a few years, they won't have the group, but they will have God. Develop dependence on God and independence from the youth group.
• To prepare God's people for works of service (Eph 4:12). Often students aren't saint, they're ain'ts. Sometimes we don't challenge them much because we don't expect much. They must be challenged to accomplish something bigger than themselves. 
• We will no longer be infants (Eph 4:14). Students are in transition (emotional, physical, social). Much is biological but part of the shift is social, moving away from family and toward peer relationships. Part of becoming an adult is to understand and take ownership of their faith, faith tough enough to stand up when alone or in difficult circumstances or faced with life choices. 
• From the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work (Eph 4:15b). Relationships with peers are a teens greatest satisfaction in life. New Testament Christianity involves genuine community, held together in love.

2. Teenagers and God: 

The Way We Were - we may be able to define teenage spirituality but can we find teenage spirituality? The way we were.

• What were the significant spiritual events in your own life?
• Name two people who had a significant spiritual impact on your life.
• Try to recall one significant decision you made that was affected by your faith in Christ. Can you remember the first time that your commitment to Christ influenced a decision?

God doesn't always act when He's supposed to - Try and think of one person whose life was changed by a Stupid Night or Banana Bash, or even that speaker that was brought in for a special event.

Negatives with a positive effect - We often spend so much time trying to protect students from bad decisions and difficult times. Frequently we hear from God best when we might be expecting to hear from Him the least. John Wenham puts it this way, "God whispers in our pleasure but shouts in our pain." The prodigal Son was at rock bottom before he came to his senses (Luke 15:11-32).

A person-to-person call - Christianity is best communicated by relationships. Jesus preached and taught and loved in tangible ways. You likely remember a person in past, not a program or an event.

Hour of decision and decision of ours - Commitment to Christ is often manifested in small seemingly insignificant decisions. Perhaps we spend too much time preparing our students for the big giant step choices, and we should spend more time rejoicing in the baby steps that are taken. Remember that one bad decision does not make a disciple hopeless.

3. Teenagers and God: 

The Way We Are - Nearly every biblical metaphor of Christian growth alludes to a long-term process; preparing soil, planting and harvesting, taking root, nurturing growth.

David C. Cook's Layers of Learning

• Unawareness - couldn't care less.
• Awareness - notice, but uncertain it's true.
• Interest - think it could be important.
• Acceptance - tested against experience, seems to be true.
• Convicted - important to me and others.
• Commitment - overriding importance to me, determines how I feel and act.

Unawareness - there must be evangelism. Discipleship without evangelism is like trying to mature a plant that has never been planted. Student ministry must have some evangelical hooks for kids with no spiritual background. If we are to reach lost teens, we have to bring that person into the realm of our influence.

Awareness - spiritual matters are noticed but may not be recognized as important. One key here to to meet students' felt needs. Evidence does not always demand a verdict in the mind of a teenager; a real comeback is often, "I just don't care." So, a beach trip provides context for developing relationships; a need of all teenagers, where they might never consider attending church.

Interest - God talk may be important, but there is no decision yet. We must be upfront and honest about answering questions and hearing doubts. Some may mock us and even disappear, but many will desire to hear more.

Acceptance - it may be true; and this is progress. Hear from other Christian students about how Christ has made a difference in their lives is important here. This is peer influence on spiritual growth. 

The best way to nurture this subjective commitment is by continued exposure to positive peer support though retreats, small group experiences and sharing groups. The goal will be to move toward commitment to objective truth more than on their feelings.

Conviction - a belief so firmly held that it is not only important to oneself, but to others. "Here I stand, Jesus."

Commitment - there is also a progression toward grow within this commitment. We spend one moment receiving Jesus at conversion, but we spend the rest of our lives allowing Jesus to receive all of us.

4. First-Hand Faith

Characteristics of a disciple? *

• Careful student of Scripture
• Zealous and active in their stand for God
• Appetite for worship and prayer
• Consistent in worship attendance
• Practices Scripture memorization
• Not afraid to pray in public
• Active in the local church
• Fasts regularly
• Has desire to stand against blasphemy and ungodliness
• Has firm grasp of basic foundational theological truth

* These are behavior traits not of Jesus' disciples, but of His opponents, the Pharisees.

Real-life discipleship is what happens between meetings - what are they like at home, at school, in the lunchroom, on dates, at parties, in the locker room, in their after school job. What are they like when no one is looking (1 Sam 15:22-23)?

Real-life discipleship is marked more by footprints than by monuments - this focuses on long-term commitments rather than a one-time decision; forward motion, a journey, a marathon. Disciple means learner, not expert.

Teenage discipleship is marked by a firsthand faith - not faith of the parents, Sunday school teacher or pastor, but they take ownership of their faith.

Fowler's stages of faith.

1. Intuitive-Projective faith (4-8 years old) - getting ideas about God through the adults around them; by watching and listening to parents.
2. Mythic-Literal stage (6-7 to 11-12 years old) - kids are now giving some attention to the rest of the world, distinguishing between real and fantasy. It's easy to get junior highers to make commitments but it usually does not last long.
3. Synthetic-Conventional stage (12 years to adulthood) - synthetic in the sense it is not phony, shaped by interpersonal relationships, and attitudes of the times. This can lead to a compartmentalized faith, Sunday one way and lifestyle on Monday is different. We can be easily fooled by kids in this stage. Here comes a second-hand faith.
4. Individuative-Reflective faith (17-18 to adulthood) - here is the first-hand faith, taking the road less traveled and it making all the difference.

How to nurture first-hand faith - provide opportunities for students to reflect on an individual basis about their own faith; a trip to the mountains, to the beach, to the park, retreats.

1. Journaling - Bible reading, life situations, God's speaking.
2. Directed meditation - something to think about and time and space to do it.
3. Path finding - various locations with questions... A Bank - what are you banking on in life? Your security? A Cemetery - Those here all had hopes, dreams and goals, and left a legacy... A Construction Site - What are you building with your life? Monument to self or to God? Service Station - What fuels your life? What motivates you to get moving?

Stop trying to cram their bag with the right beliefs and carry it because we said so. Rather, use questions and strategies that help them unpack that faith baggage they've been working on, re-examine what is there and why it's in there.

5. Fresh New Look at Peer Pressure

The search for acceptance - view the topic with compassion rather than sarcasm. Berating kids for acting like chameleons just gives them one more reason to believe they are losers. Students are more apt to conform to a small group with whom they feel some affinity. 

Why does peer pressure work? - It feeds the hunger for acceptance, a place to belong, and a confidence they are measuring up to someone's expectations. 

Weirdness next to godliness - Teens do not want to stand out as weird, gay, geeks or Jesus freaks. We are not called to be weird, but we are called to be different even if other think we are weird. 

Try pew pressure - Stand for Christ, church-oriented peer pressure. Transformation is from within (Rom 12:1-2).

6. A Faith That Effects the Heart and Head

Short-term solutions: post-retreat strategies.

• Letters to themselves, sent to them a few weeks later.
• One-to-one accountability - partnering in the process.

Long-term strategy: communicating biblical truth. Bible study curriculum plan... (Bible, Life and Body topics). See p 85 for the chart.

7. The Seven Laws of Teaching

1. The law of the teacher - Teachers must know that which they are about to teach. They will hear the lessons when they see the commitment we have lived out in our own lives.
2. The law of the learner - The learner must be interested or made to be interested in the truth to be learned. Sometimes we must cast doubts on their old system in order to teach them the new system of beliefs we desire them to learn. 
3. The law of language - Use language that is common in meaning to both teacher and student. Avoid Christianese, use a modern translation, use a copy of the text so we are all on the same page.
4. The law of the lesson - The truth to be taught must be learned through a truth already known. To understand deeper truth, we must understand the foundational or elementary truth.
5. The law of the teaching process - We learn best what we discover for ourselves. The best teaching takes place when the teacher facilitates the student's self-discovery. Give students the tools for digging; tell them where the gold is and allow them to dig for it.
6. The law of the learning process - The student must reproduce for himself the truth to be learned. Kids often answer us with not what they really think, but the answer they think we want to hear. Just because they repeat the right words does not mean they understand the answer.
7. The law of review and application - The best way to build for retention of a truth that has been learned is through review and application. Review is repeating the content is different ways and forms. Information is not the goal, but application of the truth for life change. The way to impact thinking is to impact one's actions. Actions shape our thinking. Anchoring the truth is making application.

8. Making the Seven Laws Work for You

A Bible Study Funnel: Hook, Book, Look, Took.

• Preview at the top (Observation) - incite interest in the truth to be learned.
• The View in the middle (Interpretation) - once we have attention, direct to the source for answers.
• Me-View as the small opening (Application) - What does it mean to me? Transformation.

9. Living Out the Faith

It more than getting them to become Christians, but to be the Christians they've become.

Why faith isn't working.

• Biblical illiteracy
• Superficiality
• Lack of authentic models
• Wrong views of God
• Lack of practical teaching

Facing and embracing truth.

1. Level 1 - Unconscious Incompetence - they know so little that they don't even know what they don't know. They seem to have all the answers but they really don't know the questions. 
2. Level 2 - Conscious Incompetence - These are hungry to learn. They may not know how a Christian should respond in a situation, but they know they don't know.
3. Level 3 - Conscious Competence - One knows what he should do as a Christian, and desires to do it, but it is not his natural reaction. Like wearing a new pair of shoes.
4. Level 4 - Unconscious Competence - These truth and actions appear to be second nature, doing the right thing without thinking about it.

10. Making Faith Stick

• Post retreat resolutions.
• Practical Bible studies.
• Short-term series.
• Surveys, to help students evaluate their own effectiveness.
• Spiritual Checkup - pulse, red blood cells, white blood cells, arteries open, brain scan, say ahhh (tongue), probing the heart, reflex check, eyes, hands, hearing, feet.

11. A Durable Faith

Storms that rock the boat. Few questions.

• Why do I keep messing up everything?... discouragement
• But that's not right... apparent contradictions.
• I'm not sure what I want to do... reality of responsibility.

Is there life after high school?

• Identity 202 - who will I be?
• Religion 101 - what do I really believe?
• Ethics 101 - what are my choices in sexuality, habits, issues of integrity?
• Economics 101 - career choice and financial goals.
• Theology 100 - (prerequisite Religion 101) - why do I believe what I believe?
• Family Life 300 - more than a diploma, but many find a spouse.

Help with tough questions.

• Skeptics might out - questions and panel discussion.
• Tension getters books.
• Theological training

Dick and Jane go to College.

• Teach about the Christian idea of vocation - a ministry for all of us to do.
• Introduce them to campus ministries.
• Acquaint students with Christian literature.
• Guide them in how to discern God's will.

12. A Faith Becoming Flesh

Mission trips, Wilderness trips, Rock climbing and water rafting, Ropes course, Experience is the best teacher

• Simulations
• Games
• Role playing
• Action parables

13. Reach Out and Touch

It all begins with evangelism, Spend time with students - relationships, See p 186 for 30 things you can do with a kid.

• Try kindness
• Remember names
• Use the network to meet new students
• Be an entrepreneur in servanthood 
• Don't try to be a teenager
• Use the S.L.I.R. approach - Ask about School, Likes, Interests, and Religion

14. Encouraging New Growth and Growing New Encouragers

The Master's Plan - Mark 3:14

• Spend time with them - nurture cannot be done at a distance. Who should we choose? FAT students... Faithful, Available and Teachable.
• Model your faith - Phil 3:17, 1 Pet 2:21
• Help them to establish and deepen their commitment to God.

A word of caution - help them to be like Jesus, not to be like us.

• Committed to Scripture
• Committed to Christ's lordship
• Committed to accountability
• Committed to the church gathered

From mentor to peer - we want to grow the students to depend less on us and more on Jesus as their model (1 Cor 11:1, Eph 5:1, 1 Thess 1:5-7).

Continue to live in Him (John 13:15) - perfect obedience does not happen overnight...

1. Stage 1 - disobedience - I do what I want no matter what.
2. Stage 2 - closed obedience - If God gives what I want, then I'll give Him an equal exchange.
3. Stage 3 - partial obedience - I'll give God what I want first, then I'll give Him what He wants.
4. Stage 4 - genuine commitment - I'll give God what He wants first, then by faith I believe He will give me what I want.
5. Stage 5 - open obedience - I'll give God what He wants regardless of whether He gives me what I want.