I was reading the Lifeway magazine “Living with Teenagers” (Feb 2009) and it’s full of great information this month. One article on finding friends I find exceptionally noteworthy today:

Your teenager may have a couple hundred friends on his Facebook page, but how does s/he find real friends? How can parents help?

• Reflect on your own friends when you were a teen.
• Understand it takes some time.
• Get to know your teenager’s friends and pray for them.
• Help them to see that God is relational and created us to connect with others (Matthew 22:37-39).
• Help them think through the qualities of a good friend; perhaps define the word “friend.”
• Share examples of poor friends:
  • Shallow friends (Proverbs 18:24),
  • Foolish friends (Proverbs 13:20, Proverbs 14:17),
  • Mean girls – and boys (Proverbs 12:26),
  • Gossiping friends (Proverbs 16:28, Proverbs 20:19),
  • Volatile friends (Proverbs 22:24-25),
  • Fair weather friends (Proverbs 17:17).

Measure how good a friend you are (each question is worth 10 points):

1. ____ I haven’t passed on any gossip this week; I keep things to myself.
2. ____ I am a good listener; I make eye contact and ask follow-up questions.
3. ____ I am even-tempered; I don’t explode or withdraw when upset.
4. ____ I am happy for people, not threatened, when they succeed.
5. ____ I feel sad when others (including those I don’t like) fail.
6. ____ I have the skills to be honest about things that bother me in a relationship; when I’m honest the problem is usually resolved.
7. ____ I appreciate someone who is honest with me; I receive it gracefully.
8. ____ I take appropriate responsibility for my behavior.
9. ____ One of my strengths is picking the right kind of friends.
10. ____ I can avoid foolish and wicked people without creating a scene.

How’d you do? The closer to 100 you are, the better friend you are! Ask your friends to take the test with you in mind and see how the two compare.

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